Ethical Question Number Whatever -- The Non-working Boyfriend

If she has a "boyfriend" or "husband", then I don't wouldn't mess with her. Just annoying drama waiting to be unfold.

Most strippers who say they're unattached are lying. But at least in that case, there's no way you can worry if they're being pimped.

If I worried about that, I might just as well stay home. There wouldn't be many acceptable dancers out there.

A lot of dancers and escorts have leech BFs and husbands but I don't think it's the majority.

ITC, who cares? If you decide to take the fun OTC, then that's a different story.

lopaw hit the nail on the head.

I think very few of us would be down with it if we knew a dancer wanted to quit but didn't because she had a pimp who was threatening her. There is a line, it's just a question of where it is. If a dancer wants to party hard, enjoy her youth, not save a dime, I might not agree with that, but I would not call it self-destructive behavior. At some point, you become a vulture who's taking advantage of someone else's misfortunes. I don't know, is it possible that some people get such a great high from their particular addiction, it's worth all the trouble it causes them, including the probability of dying young? Are submissives with pimps just "born that way", is it somehow a reasonable alternative lifestyle?

Most boyfriends or husbands fall into one of three categories:

1. The Clueless. Yes, there are those dumbass trusting souls who have no idea that their stripper "wife" is really a slut in the club. Do what you want with this guys girl, hell spend the night with your fav and he will believe she pulled a double shift. What an idiot.

2. The User. This is the typical loser, pimp of a boyfriend/husband who happily whores out his "girl" as a dancer. For him, his girl is just a another source of sex and money. Don't cross this guys hoe and everything should be ok.

3. The Bad-Ass. These bad-ass boys usually have jobs. They are sometimes ex-military, sometimes ultimate fighters, and they usually keep a military haircut or shave their head. They know their wife/girlfriend is a stripper and they know she has sex with customers, they just don't give a fuck as long as their girl comes home at the end of the shift. To them, their girl is a trophy. Don't get caught OTC banging their girl unless you want the fight of your life.

I screw strippers solely as a way to provide the support needed by unemployed, unappreciated, drug-addicted musicians. I would give them the money directly but I know they would be too proud to accept charity.

I have to agree with Lopaw on this one. Who cares?

Very generous of you, jack! LOL!

Do you ask waitresses and barristas if they have lazy ass boyfriends? Has that stopped you from ordering your Starbucks?

Paablo I would fall under catagory #3 if I ever dated a stripper. Only thing that would be different would be tghat I wouldn't fight you if I catch you fucking my girl (nor would I have. A military buzz). I know that's how she makes her cake so I'm cool with it. I don't have to buy her expensive clothes. You do.

Don't ask and don't tell me. I don't tell her personal information either.

"Who cares?"

I care - I want to find out the secret to fucking hot strippers and not having to work! I wanna learn how to play Call of Duty all day long, smoke weed, and have cash handed to me.

"Don't ask and don't tell me. I don't tell her personal information either."

But now speaking-seriously, my "relationships" (for lack of a better of a better word) with dancers must be different.

I have two favorites. I've known one since 2006 and the other since 2008. How can I not know about their personal lives?

Don't give money to that homeless person, they will just buy booze with it.

Don't give money to that charity, they have a 80% administrative cost.

Don't patronize that dancer, she is going to __________ with her money.

Once the money leaves your hands ... you can't control where it goes. Bottom line is more than likely the dancer is lying, giving you a bunch of SS, supporting a habit (drugs, booze, deadbeat boyfriend, shopping, all of the above) etc. You are paying to support your habit, she pays to support hers ... don't try to figure it out, enjoy your habit and stay away from drama.

I may be naïve – but it appears to me most dancers do what they do out of their own will and for the fast cash – and not b/c some pimp dude is “forcing” them to do it. I imagine the pimp scenario does happen – but I would think it is the exception rather than the rule?

As for slacker BFs – it may not be that these are the guys strippers want and/or prefer – but maybe the only they can have a “relationship” with and that will “accept” what they do (women are all about and into relationships – they seem to have a greater need to have someone “love them”).

i've supported a few guys short term who could really get me off... but it didn't stop me from looking for mr. betterbar and they always got pissed and we ended it.

Well then, tell them bitches to get a job or hit the road. Your the bread winner not them. Personally, if this is the norm for most dancers, then their bas dumb as shit. How many men with a real good job (not illegal drug related) have they met who's willing to accept them to have the job of a stripper. The answer is plenty but they refuse too date them and these days these sort of guys get more and more handsome (myself included). If the norm really is for dancers to date loser boyfriends, then they also deserve the title of stupid.

I had an old favorite that claimed her kid's dad was a trained auto mechanic and could get a good job, but they a special needs child so he was a stay at home dad. If that wasn't SS, then that's cool.

Carolynne: "i've supported a few guys short term who could really get me off... but it didn't stop me from looking for mr. betterbar and they always got pissed and we ended it."

Ah, male ho's.

The majority of them are in a relationship with the non working boyfriend, so I can't spend my time worrying about that. I can tell you that it doesn't affect how god the sex is.

I think strippers get in relationships with these kind of guys because they know these guys won't try to tell them to stop stripping. Shit, as long as these strippers are bringing home the money, these guys wouldn't care if the strippers stripped forever.

Also strippers have a lot of self esteem issues, and some of them probably think that they don't deserve better.

Ranukam: "Also strippers have a lot of self esteem issues, and some of them probably think that they don't deserve better. "

I think this is it for many of them.

That or they continue to date losers because it strengthens their belief all men are loser cogs.

Dating someone who has his shit together, means facing getting her shit together.

The non working S/O is bad news vs the working stripper S/O. Your now being pressured to support him too.

Its also bad news if the S/O knows of her hooking with you even if she says its cool with him - he will try up the price.

A case in point: I met C in 2008 (26 at that time) as she danced at a club where I am VIP. I had sex with her in VIP (itc) and we started meeting at motels for nooners (otc), along with occasional itc. She was twice divorced and had a fiancee who was her HS sweetheart. In 2010 they married and he became her 3rd husband and stepfather to her 8 yo daughter. He has his own business (which does not pay a lot) and the family rents a nice home. Around the time of the marriage she quit dancing at the club and went into insurance and legal work where she was essentially working from home a lot of the time. She me told the marriage would not interfere with our meetings (and this is true). Her FB page was full of wedding pics from her home and backyard wedding. She also maintains a site on SeekingArrangement.com and is a friend of mine on FB where she describes the husband as a soulmate. Conversations with her she claims he never knew about her extras activities at the club or seeing me. As far as I know he does not know of her SA profile or seeing me (and possibly other customers although she claims I am only one). At times my contributions essentially paid their rent. Her FB profile describes her as self employed and loving it. It could be easily assumed that she is a married "housewife" prostitute who uses SA to attract clients. She has indicated she would rather meet for sessions vs dance at a club. She drives an upscale car which she supposed acquired slightly used from a "friend" who used to be a guy who saw her itc at the club. She claims they are not involved that she simply purchased the car from him (I believe she is probably fucking him for it). She resembles Kendra Wilkinson in looks and her performance at sessions is superior. She also has a nice tight one (go figure) which is one super pleasure box and loves to get on top. She is much smarter than the average stripper type and its the old saying "apples off the same tree" (her mother was a stripper) and "once a whore, always a whore." While at times I have considered her my mistress the more appropriate term was defined above. The key thing she keeps him under control and he is not a factor in interfering with her meeting me.

@deogol what is your point? Damn I wish I were hot enough that a babe stripper wanted to keep me as a pet. I'd just enjoy it while it lasted, not try to put demands on her.

Related question: if there was an effective charitable organization that helped dancers escape the control of pimp boyfriends, would you, as a strip club customer, feel an obligation to make yearly contribution?

@ilbbaicnl no. She made the choice of being with the pimp, now she could make the choice to leave him. Pimps don't kill women, they thrwaten them with poverty. But if her recent due is paid, no reason to leave him.

Pimps aren't known for honesty, women usually chose to get involved with them based on lies. They normally do use violence of threats of violence against "their" women.