I met this beautiful stripper Lennay and she became my ATF. We were meant to be together. Then Lennay and my grandmother both died of leukemia on the same day.
Please give me all of your sympathy. Don't forget to prop me on TUSCL.
I hope no one would be so heartless as to doubt my story.


I don't know why the media thinks this is such a mind-blowing story.
I think I'll text my imaginary girlfriend of 7 years right now.