Married

"Here's the problem- She's horribly unresponsive. She will go days without returning our texts and voicemails"


This will be interesting. Is the board going to treat a female the same way they treated a dude the other day for essentially saying the same thing. Hmmm,,,,,

Are you expecting too much from a 20 something with "baby daddy issues?" Many young people have no sense of responsibility or basic manners--no returned phone calls, don't keep appointments, texting while you are talking to them. Are you being possessive? Maybe you should just enjoy the ride when you can and don't expect too much.

What defines a "real" relationship? She sounds like alot of people I know (many of whom aren't strippers) - they are just flaky friends and acquaintances that are totally unreliable when it comes to texting and such. We all know people like that. You've got more than most people would get from a stripper.....be happy with what you got.

A 20something flaky stripper is probably not the best choice for a "permanent third wheel" in your relationship.

She sounds no worse than most strippers. In fact, she sounds better since you don't mention any problems with alcohol or drugs. She probably needs your money, but wants love and friendship from guys her own age. You are lucky to have found someone willing to have 3-way sex. Don't screw it up by expecting something more.

Typical OTC stripper sounds like to me. No, you can't have a real relationship with her. She is your fuck toy, and like jackslash just said, it would be wise to not try making it more than that.

Set the bar really low in terms of responsibility,accountability,a sense of urgency,punctuality.This is her world,she's the sun.Soak it up,but always know you're revolving around her.

Are you sure the advice wasn't advice on how to use paint stripper?

Lipstick:

First, you must be very naive to be exposing your "husband" to 3-ways with other girls, which is what I understand from your story. These "relationships" never work out, and one day you will come home to find that your "husband" has found someone he likes better than you. Unless of course, your husband can't get it up and he just watches you have sex. Eventually, you will become the 3rd wheel.

Second, there is no such thing as a "permanent" relationship with a dancer. They live in an underworld of vice, immorality, and sex.

That is why we like them. They use us, we use them, then they are gone. This is the kind of life you can expect with dancers.

Don't be so fast with the "husband will find someone he likes better" stuff, pablo. Often it is the wife who strays upon discovering another sexual world. I have had it happen to me, and I know several other couples where it also happened. Never assume anything.

Well I can't disagree Sclvr.

The problem with 3-ways is that somebody is always the 3rd wheel.

In this case it may very well be the "husband".

Not exactly sure what the problem is here. It's not very logical to have no cake because you want a big piece but you can only get a little piece. But we all have emotions that are not logical. If having a little piece really frustrates you more than gives you enjoyment, then don't.

Did anyone else wonder where her kid was when the dancer went with the couple on vacation? So while they're doing the triple delight in the hotel room, where's the kid?

What does she want? Sounds pretty obvious that she wants sex and money.

You are not a priority. She clearly doesn't trust you. She may enjoy the sex to the point that she doesn't want money (have trouble buying this) but I doubt she wants the entanglements of some kind of relationship. Especially considering she has a job, a child, and school. Keep in mind she's also young and may just be caught up in the adventure.

Obviously all that is predicated on this being a true story.

Thanks for all of your feedback! Yes, it is a true story. I think we will try to step back emotionally and enjoy the ride so to speak. I appreciate all of the comments, positive and negative, because after all, when you ask for advice, you are asking for honesty.

Knew a stripper who let a boyfriend have a three way between her and another girl. Stripper lost the boyfriend to the other girl.

"The problem with 3-ways is that somebody is always the 3rd wheel"

That's why they don't work pabloantonio.

Three ways work just fine for some people, Alucard.

2 dicks is 1 dick too many

Dancers are unreliable unless they are really into you and looking for your every phone call. Of course I could say the same thing about a lot of other people as well. I myself only check my home email once every week or two on average. I found out a few weeks ago one of my sisters sent me a message a few months ago. In my defense, it wasn't important and it was sent on an account I rarely check. hmmm, maybe this is why my pseudo relationships with dancers seem to last so long. A few months disappearance I barely notice with some dancers.

I think most dancers are only interested in making money for the night or so they say when they see you if you ask them. Some bill is due and they want to make some money. I rarely even ask.

I have dated a couple of dancers in the last couple of years. I find them extremely unreliable and ridiculously unable to commit to anything. I think they talk about what they really want out of life but are completely unable to make a decision that would actually achieve that even when the opportunity is facing them. Another thing, dancers are so used to lying and manipulating guys at the club it becomes second nature to them. So it makes them completely unreliable and untrustworthy. One last thing, if she goes away for days at a time you can bet you bottom dollar drugs are involved. No matter what she says.

I have learned the hard way these girls can not stay off drugs. And getting their score and feeding their habit takes way more priority than anything you may have to offer. Even a great home and a future for her kid.

I don't have the answer yet. In spite of their condition a lot of these girls would make decent life partners if they could break the cycle. A great many of them get locked into this and they just can't stop the momentum they have built up.

I fell head over heals in love with one beautiful lady who had just earned her graduate degree at the local university. She has everything ahead of her and is smart and seems to have more common sense than you would expect in someone under 30. But she just couldn't get off the merry go round. I tried everything, made ultimatums, and then finally told her not to call me again until she decided to turn away from that lifestyle. That was a month ago. We do still talk. But we talk as friends only. She is still stuck. Nothing I can do.

I would suggest you take her out of town for a weekend, explain your concerns, make an offer that she has to decide on THAT weekend and then if she can't accept your offer, let her go. It will just cause you more pain than you can take in the end.

Strippers are like moonlets in orbit around a jovian planet (regular, usually big spending customer). Some have stable orbits and some don't.

Enjoy the threeway sex and forget about having a relationship. Do you really want her drama and excess baggage? As long as your getting your money's worth with the sex, whats the problem? Be careful though, their pimp or BF could be planning to rob your home.

Trapeze! ATL. GA. Thanks,Goodnight.