Fake Reviews (If you were a stripper writing one)
Leonard313
Okay...just for fun....
Sometimes I read reviews and I think, "theres no way a dude wrote that! Thats obviously a stripper writing a good review about her and the club she works at!" So I thought Id start a thread/game...imagine you're a stripper...and you can read/write....and in English (sorry Tijuana). Write a fake review that you imagine a stripper writing...THEN...write a review that the stripper "should" write if she really wanted a guy to go.
Okay...sounds confusing...but here's an example...
"Hey fellas!! Just got back from "Bonerpalooza Cabaret" in gorgeous dowtown Milltown!! Wow, there gals a really cute!! And top notch performers!! I talked to SHELLY and CINNAMON and they were very pleasant and interesting to talk to. Then I ran into CANDY...she had curves in all the right places (if ya know what I mean!) ; ) CANDY gave me 3 lap dances and they were well worth the $50, I'd have even paid more they were so good! So if you go there and see CANDY, tip her well!!
The bartender is super awesome and the DJ Rob is really, really cute and funny. The only bad thing about the place is when guys show up and don't tip....so dont be jerks like those guys. And also, if you come across a dancer named STARLA, don't get a dance from her because she's a bitch and she steals and does meth."
What she SHOULD say;
"Hey...I'm a 300lb, hairy, sweaty guy with no personality and I went to "Bonerpalooza Cabaret" Thursday....and even though I forgot to wear deodorant and only had $10...still got drunk and laid...twice by girls that I SWEAR are Victoria Secrets models! Just saying...if you're within 30 miles of this place and even if you got no money and look like you have Down' Syndrome...this is the place to go to get laid by the hottest women in North America. No cover every night from open to close. And if they're playing stupid music you don't like, they'll play whatever you want the bitches to dance to."
HAVE FUN!!
Sometimes I read reviews and I think, "theres no way a dude wrote that! Thats obviously a stripper writing a good review about her and the club she works at!" So I thought Id start a thread/game...imagine you're a stripper...and you can read/write....and in English (sorry Tijuana). Write a fake review that you imagine a stripper writing...THEN...write a review that the stripper "should" write if she really wanted a guy to go.
Okay...sounds confusing...but here's an example...
"Hey fellas!! Just got back from "Bonerpalooza Cabaret" in gorgeous dowtown Milltown!! Wow, there gals a really cute!! And top notch performers!! I talked to SHELLY and CINNAMON and they were very pleasant and interesting to talk to. Then I ran into CANDY...she had curves in all the right places (if ya know what I mean!) ; ) CANDY gave me 3 lap dances and they were well worth the $50, I'd have even paid more they were so good! So if you go there and see CANDY, tip her well!!
The bartender is super awesome and the DJ Rob is really, really cute and funny. The only bad thing about the place is when guys show up and don't tip....so dont be jerks like those guys. And also, if you come across a dancer named STARLA, don't get a dance from her because she's a bitch and she steals and does meth."
What she SHOULD say;
"Hey...I'm a 300lb, hairy, sweaty guy with no personality and I went to "Bonerpalooza Cabaret" Thursday....and even though I forgot to wear deodorant and only had $10...still got drunk and laid...twice by girls that I SWEAR are Victoria Secrets models! Just saying...if you're within 30 miles of this place and even if you got no money and look like you have Down' Syndrome...this is the place to go to get laid by the hottest women in North America. No cover every night from open to close. And if they're playing stupid music you don't like, they'll play whatever you want the bitches to dance to."
HAVE FUN!!
Comments
last commentThere's enough fake reviews being offered here without encouraging more. :))
Now if a stripper is discussing the matter she will think guys are most interested in things she would be interested in if she were a guy, which turns out not to be things guys actually care much about. How good are the girls' stage shows? How good are their customes? Do they have sensual/seductive looks? Are most of the girls working there in situations worthy of guys helping them out (i.e. hard working single mothers)? What are club employees (beyond strippers and waitresses, which real customers don't even notice) like?
OR...he wants me to wear 2 pairs of sunglasses...it's hard to say.