What Strippers look for in a potential client.

49 comments

• shadowcat

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  12 years ago

  I asked my ATF one time what she looked for in a prospective client. Who had money,and was gonna spend some, etc. She replied that it was just hit or miss. Because the unknown customers are hit or miss, dancers prefer to go with their regulars. This is something that is never gonna stop. For the new guy trying to get his foot in the door, it is exasperating. The best solution is to find a club where there are almost too many dancers working. Some of it has to rub off on you.
• deogol

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  12 years ago

  I'm going to say a fat wallet and a slack jaw.
• GoVikings

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  12 years ago

  I'm not sure what they look for either. I, too, have some visits where I sit a long time before a dancer approaches me. It probably has something to do with the fact that I'm one of the younger customers, so they figure/assume I don't have much to spend. I also know what you mean about trying to get one that fits your preferences. I don't know about you, but rarely do I get a dancer who I want to approach me to come over and sit down. But the few times it has happened, it's ended up being some of my best visits.
• TXBornMade

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  12 years ago

  What I have learned to do, is just walk up to them and start talking to them like you would a girl at the bar. If they are walking by, just say something to them. They are human too. I have had some tell me that they are intimidated by good-looking guys sitting by themselves.....like I said, SOME of them have told me that. I dont sit and wait anymore, screw that haha.
• dtek

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  12 years ago

  I've heard from a number of girls that they don't approach the 20-something guys due to a perception that those guys have no money to spend or won't spend money on dances. That said, why did you walk back to your seat without asking the dancer you were interested in to drop by when she finished her set? I realize that a five dollar stage tip should have clued her in, but she might not have noticed your tip wasn't a one. While it's true that there are lots of lazy strippers out there, it's also possible that you're giving off a "don't bother approaching" vibe. If you really want to know, you're probably going to have to ask one or more of the girls at that club (and then filter heavily through your bullshit detector).
• TXBornMade

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  12 years ago

  Desertscrub....The only problem with #3 is I am not going to get a dance from a girl who is: A. Not good-looking B. Pulls the "wanna dance" line without even sitting down
• motorhead

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  12 years ago

  "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."
• londonguy

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  12 years ago

  I am probably going to get shot down in flames but why couldn't YOU approach the girls and start a conversation?
• Rod8432

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  12 years ago

  We've discussed on this board a couple times how it seems we must be wearing our "Do not dance for me" hat sometimes, because the girls ignore us. I've sat in clubs a lot with money burning a hole in my wallet and no one on whom to spend it. Of course, it happens in reverse, too, when I barely walk in a club and I'm accosted by several dancers in short order. So maybe it's simply a perception thing. I do think as the girls walk around, they're always assessing who is and is not open for dances, thereby minimizing rejections and wasted time on PLs who'll chat'em up but never buy a dance. And I have had a couple tell me that if they see a customer dismiss a couple girls without buying dances, they kinda assume he's less of a candidate to get a "yes" out of if they do approach, and maybe not worth the effort. I'd suggest, as others have here and there, just to reach out and tap on the shoulder, or ask the waitress to flag her down. The girls are often free and glad to have the invitation, so they don't have to do cold solicitations.
• Dougster

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  12 years ago

  I think ther are looking for PLs. Having money is one thing, being willing to spend it another. So do your best to look like a PL and you will magnetically draw strippers to you.
• Papi_Chulo

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  12 years ago

  As Rod8432 mentioned, this has been discussed on this board previously. I mention this so you know that this has not happen only to you. As others have mentioned (and you, OP, also), there are times when we can’t beat the dancers off of us w/ a stick, and other times when we think to ourselves - WTF? I would say in “general” just like a lioness hunting in the wilderness, dancers will go for the easiest prey in the pack. Often times they’ll (at least the smart ones) prefer older men thinking that they not only have more $$$ to spend but are also more willing to spend it (b/c they may be more lonely/needy/etc.). I am in my early 40s, but I recall when I first started clubbing regularly at 30, that often times dancers would bypass me for the older guy sitting by himself. But as I mentioned b/f, this has been discussed b/f on TUSCL since it has happened, and still happens, to a lot of us from time to time. Some clubs have a different vibe. There are some clubs where the girls are very nice and they approach customers – there are other clubs with horrible customer service (even by SC standards) and the horrible customer service extends to the dancers not even approaching customers. I’ve been in dives where the dancers seem to prefer to sit around or dance w/ each other rather than make $$$ from those willing to spend it. Also, in clubs where I don’t get approached by dancers, I notice that the dancers are in general not hustling much and not approaching many customers. You mentioned this was a club you usually don’t go to, so it could be that the club sucks especially since you don’t have this problem in other clubs – same thing has happened to me where in certain clubs no one approaches me and in other clubs I’m approached from the moment I walk in. I usually prefer for a dancer to approach me rather than me having to go up to her – I feel if she approaches me is b/c she really wants to dance for me and is more apt to giving good dances. But, there are times when I see that for whatever reason dancers don’t approach me and then I’ll approach them. Almost all dancers I’ve approached have said yes to giving me dances and have done a good job, so I don’t know why they did not approach me in the 1st place? I posted a thread a while back on this subject and there were some interesting responses: [view link]
• 59

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  12 years ago

  DS said: "3. They all watch you to see if you are getting dancers or turning girls down - strippers like guy$ that spend Ca$h, not reject them" I think there's a lot of truth to this. Us customers will often look to see the girls heading to the dance rooms and courts most frequently, they're in demand and they are likely to be the most fun. I find that if I get a dance or two it's amazing how other girls will take note and stop by. If it's an extras type place and I go with with they know/suspect is a dirty girl they will sometimes say "I know you've just had a dance and might need some time to recover, let me know when you're ready."
• georgmicrodong

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  12 years ago

  @londonguy: Exactly! @Estafador: Quit wasting your fucking time sitting on your ass and wondering why they aren't jumping at your suave, sophisticated, well-manicured, pussy-footing self, and go ask her for a fucking dance. Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ. What the fuck is so hard?
• TABB

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  12 years ago

  @GOVIKING+TXbornmade- I get that as well when i go into new clubs or if i haven't been to my favorite club in a long time and the new dancer don't come by. As well I get that line about " your to the cute to be in here" does your girlfriend know that your in a SC" what brings a handsome man to a strip club" I usually tell them two things especially if a dancers says " your HOT" 1. I'm 100 percent positive you said that to the last customer. 2. I'm prostitute trying to pick up lines to feed my potential high class eastern European clients. Anyways this usually happens to me when i go into new clubs with a good amount of cash and i only waste 1/3. Amount of money because most dancers are with there regulars or sitting around. I have notice one thing if I'm with someone noticeably older ill get more attention from dancer. Than being by myself or with a group of young, drunk, semi rude people.
• gatorfan

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  12 years ago

  Parkinsons and cash falling all over the place
• Stiletto25

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  12 years ago

  I would agree with what shadowcat said. Ill still work the room if I have free time though. If you tipped her and she still didnt come over to thank you, I'd think she didnt care about making money. Its really not all about what you look like or how you dress. When someone is dressed nice, I like it because they dont look stinky. However, the "nice dresser" isnt always the one who pays. The grubbier looking guys can really shell out the dough. Two of my good regulars are grubby looking. Another regular stinks so fucking bad, I dont know how I'll make it through the two hours. Ive never smelled someone like that in my life. He pays good though.
• motorhead

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  12 years ago

  Calm down there, Jorge. Apparently you never saw "Scarface"
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  @Estafador: I see that you were clubbing in Manhattan. For those guys on here who do not understand what that is like, it is a different animal than clubbing almost anywhere else in the country. A good % of club customers in Manhattan fall into either two categories: businessmen and tourists. There is a shitload of money passing through those clubs and many of the girls are big game hunters. You are a young guy who was dressed in non-business attire (I assume) and drinking juice. Now I'm not saying that these are the reasons that you were not approached, but you certainly don't fit the profile of what some of those dancers are seeking. But I also agree with gmd in that most girls would gladly take your money if you make the approach yourself. But if you aren't feeling the love in Manhattan, there are plenty of clubs in Queens that would love to have you. ;)
• cnyknight

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  12 years ago

  Word of mouth advertising is very powerful ... Studies have shown that if a person has a bad experience they are ten times likely to tell people than if they had a good one. My theory is dancers work the same way. I was at a club recently. Had been there for awhile ... tipping the girls on stage (which in this club was rare due to the setup), bought a few drinks and had some good talking sessions with a few floor lappers. Later on one of the girls who had not come up to me yet, no contact, came over and said "I heard you were the only nice guy here tonight" I thanked her and asked how did she know ... she said she heard at there girl meeting behind stage. I suspect this is the case ... dancers have internal clics, drama, and talk talk talk. All it takes is one dancer to spread the word you rejected her, were a bad tipper etc. and they will label you. Another club I was sitting at the bar with a dancer ... 3 dancers on, only me in the club at the time. Another customer (a semi-regular) walks in and one of the idle girls springs into action. While he is getting comfortable ... the dancer who approached him asked my girl "am I going to get anywhere with that?" ... woah ... that .. not even him ... but it makes a good point ... to most dancers we are just a job ... good hygene, smell good, be polite, and try not to get bad word of mouth with the girls.
• Clackport

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  12 years ago

  For some reasons the dancers don't approach the good looking guys. Maybe they think good looking guys won't spend money or that good looking guys are too good for them. Who knows. Either way if they don't approach me, I will approach them.
• mjx01

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  12 years ago

  shadow is dead on. Regular with money.
• jester214

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  12 years ago

  In this situation, which I've never encountered, find one your interested in and just flat out ask for a dance. If that doesn't stir up interest, leave. Personally I've never had trouble getting them to approach me, I have had trouble occasionally getting the ones I wanted to come.
• lopaw

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  12 years ago

  When I first started clubbing and didn't get approached, I automatically assumed it was because I am a girl. But after talking to many of my guy friends (and reading what others post on SC boards) I am far from alone. And nowadays it's truly hit or miss - sometimes I'm swarmed by dancers, and other times it takes them awhile to come over. So the answer is : who the fuck knows? what goes thru the minds of strippers? A stripper's head is one place I'd rather not venture into.
• farmerart

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  12 years ago

  I always have a big wad of cash with me when I visit a SC. I may be wearing a tux or I may be wearing rig pig gear. I am a road warrior so dancers have no clue about my spending habits from any previous visits. No matter the case I may be swarmed or shunned by dancers. A pure crapshoot for the dancers. I have long since given up waiting for dancers to approach me.
• Estafador

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  12 years ago

  Since a lot of people have given the advice on just "asking" for a dance, I'll make it a general response. In today's generation, going to a strip club, to ask for a dance is redundant and kind of equates (at least in my mind) as sort of desperate. Not saying that makes you a loser, perhaps you're like me and every girl on the fucking menu is hog washing with each other or with one client. Whatever. But point is, the strippers are the staff and suppose to provide support for the customer. So why the fuck should I ASK YOU to do your damn job. If I wanted to ask for a dance, hell, I might as well go to a regular club and pay a fraction of what I would at a SC for a dance plus more. And in that situation, I can feel no shame about fucking the girl I asked to dance because, she's fucking me because I'm hot not for my money (if you're in a club, you have no need for a man's money...generally speaking of course). I feel like asking for a dance defeats a purpose of a strip club. As for good looking, I don't stroke my own ego unless its just to be humorous (or to hype myself up to ask a chick out), so I can't be sure if that's one of the reasons. Though I did go to one club one day and saw that this one chick jokingly say I had a mean looking face and that's why the girls weren't flocking (it was a joke, but it had me thinking). And yeah, I'm a young guy, so you know I'm not dressing business like, I gotta be like those of my generation and dress with hip clothing. One thing that baffles me is though, especially at a high priced SC, why would you think I don't have cash because I'm young? I pay the entry fee, I pay the coat fee, I pay for the two god damn drinks, I just blew 30 dollars to get into the fucking door, what makes you think I came to treat it like a museum? Especially if you see me get one dance. Perhaps, I'll just take the first chick that offers me a dance, next time as initiative to the other chicas that I got dough, no matter how fugly she is.
• Alucard

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  12 years ago

  I don't usually agree with gmd on much, but his advice is spot on Estafador. GET off your rear & seek one out. It doesn't always work out when you just sit there and expect every dancer to come running to you. But it is your choice & $$$, & time.
• Estafador

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  12 years ago

  I shall stand by my last comment on that regards alucard.....but I agree that i was dumb and shouldn't have stayed so long for one dance. Next time, if I don't find the right chick, on to the next club.
• Alucard

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  12 years ago

  By the way, Strippers are NOT Staff. They're independent contractors. They have no obligation to come to you.
• jester214

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  12 years ago

  This isn't a restaurant where the waitress automatically comes up to you. It's more like a retail store, most of the time they come up to you and ask you if you want help, occasionally you have to find one of them and ask. They are "the staff" but more importantly they are "salesmen". If they have regulars or better prospects than you why would they possibly go to you? Make your own opportunities. You say asking for a dance is desperate, but your attitude is desperation.
• farmerart

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  12 years ago

  Kid, the world is not going to stop for you. You have to decide if you are going to get on for the ride or not.
• Estafador

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  12 years ago

  hmm, I suppose. Perhaps I was too sheltered by the limited information I aquired about strips over the years. Its still a bold step for me. I blame my youthful pride.
• smokeshopjoe

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  12 years ago

  Ok so you first need to realize that all of the girls are independent contractors, and few of them are cleaver hardworking go getters most will simply be the vannadance type. I too get super greatly annoyed at the ones who just sit in the corner and Do fucking nothing. But the best way to get the attention of an independent contractor is to ask directly. You dont have home remodelers or flooring companies going door to door asking if you want their services, you have to call and ask them. BUT I will agree and concede that the SC environment is different you didnt go to the club to bet a burger and have an in depth conversation about landscaping with your friends. YOU ARE THERE TO SEE(and feel) ASSES AND TITTIES, they should know that and see if you are interested in their ass and tities. I will also concede that maybe part of the attraction is having sexually aggressive women coming over to you and actively seeking out your affection. Or possibly you are shy and dont feel comfortable out right asking. So here are some of my tactics. The most simple way to get their attention is when you slip 1-5 in their g string on stage and PLAYFULLY WITH A SMILE say "when you are available next, swing by the table", you can be more direct by adding "for a dance/drink/chat" a charming fugly guy with the willingness to spend is a better option than good looking angry/creepy/upset guy willing to spend. Trust me that advice usually works. Secondly, women ,at least 70%, are sexually competitive and when money is involved that number goes up. If there is a gaggle of girls just sitting there the next dancer who asks VANNADANCE the answer is fuck yes. Get ONE (only one) that is all it takes. It triggers the "he is getting lappers" response in most of the other girls. Honestly pick a slightly unattractive one and the 7+ girls will be over in no time. Also for those who are shy and nervous Pick one you really dont give a shit about makes the whole process easier. Another tactic that works is ask the waitress to let a girl know you are interested I know it a bit junior-highish but it works. Once she comes over just play it off as she must not have seen you or noticed you eagerness to get a dance. Or my favorite Slow Day? Oh the information you can glean from that conversation. This usually works better if you have tipped the waitress well. However there are just some days where it is so fucking dead and no one is getting dances that it creates an environment where they girls shut down, the levels of rejection just build up and they simply would rather sit there than be told no thanks again. This is a bad situation as it usually means the girls are in bad moods too. Even when you get their attention you will get lack luster service. Those are days when the smile and ask AND the getting a lapper from a mediocre girl simply dont work, When that happens it is best to just pull up stakes and roll on to the next one. Now these are just jewels I have learned from my experience, That said the more you fuck up the more you learn. You also have to find your own style.
• rentz2

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  12 years ago

  They look for money. Whatever way they determine that but that is what they look for
• smokeshopjoe

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  12 years ago

  shit didnt actually hit post so in light of new information Lowpaw: A stripper's head is one place I'd rather not venture into. If you do take a large ball of string so you can find your way back out. and to follow up on alucard's comment of "By the way, Strippers are NOT Staff. They're independent contractors. They have no obligation to come to you." Also they have no obligation to dance for you even if you ask. They usually will but they can say NO.
• gatorfan

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  12 years ago

  I'm going to agree with myself
• georgmicrodong

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  12 years ago

  Life is too damned short to sit around waiting for strippers to figure out how to do their jobs well. Of the two women I have called "ATF", one was *afraid* to approach me, because apparently I looked like a stone cold asshole (her words), and the other never even noticed I was in the club the first time I was there when she was. She was ignoring me on the second visit, too, until I approached her. The latter has been my regular sugar baby for two years now.
• Lone_Wolf

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  12 years ago

  Apparently I fit whatever demographic most of the honeys prefer. I'm middle aged, dress business casual and am fugly. I usually get swarmed upon entry. Kind of flattering until I remember the criteria they are using. I've read elsewhere that the girls prefer older fugly guys because they can concentrate on emptying their wallets versus being distracted by looks.
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  "Though I did go to one club one day and saw that this one chick jokingly say I had a mean looking face and that's why the girls weren't flocking (it was a joke, but it had me thinking). And yeah, I'm a young guy, so you know I'm not dressing business like, I gotta be like those of my generation and dress with hip clothing." So you're young, dressed in "hip" clothes, drinking a non-alcoholic beverage AND your facial expression seems less than welcoming. LOL. I guess about the only thing left to do was to spray "eau du dog shit" on yourself. Guys, before you take exception to what I said, this is MANHATTAN, not Atlanta, or Tuscon, or Louisville (KY), etc. There is a shitload of money passing through these clubs and most of the girls have very high opinions of themselves. They also must earn $150-200 just to pay fees and tipouts before they get to keep anything. When you add it all up, most of these girls are hard core hustlers who focus on the big game, including businessmen and overspending tourists, and avidly avoid guys who they think will waste their time. "One thing that baffles me is though, especially at a high priced SC, why would you think I don't have cash because I'm young?" Experience. A lot of young guys in clubs do NOT have money. Many of them also try to waste girls' time and don't understand how the girls earn their livings, often operating under the misconception that the club pays the girls rather than the other way around. Now this is not your fault and may not be true in your case, but, fair or not, it is the perception that you have to contend with. In any event, good luck.
• Alucard

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  12 years ago

  Get over your "Pride". And get up. Spend $$$, & take the advice of us "Older Ugly Guys". LOL Or let your money stay in your pocket.
• georgmicrodong

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  12 years ago

  @rick: Re: "It's Manhattan..." Fair enough. Is getting up and asking a dancer to give you a dance so ineffectual there's no point, then? Seems to me that if he's got the money, it might still be worth a shot. I've never been, nor do I have any plans to go, to any clubs in the NYC area, so I just don't know.
• deogol

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  12 years ago

  I knew a gal who, every hour, would go around the room and ask each and every person, even within a group, if they wanted a dance or not. She got a lot of rejection, but she also got a lot of dances. A LOT of dances, by my count one night. I'll admit it, I was impressed by her determination.
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  @gmd: My posts only addressed why girls weren't approaching him. You obviously missed the following comment in my first post in this thread: "But I also agree with gmd in that most girls would gladly take your money if you make the approach yourself."
• lopaw

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  12 years ago

  @smokeshopjoe - lol even if I could find my way out, I'd never be the same again. The trauma of having been in there would be too much.
• Estafador

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  12 years ago

  heh, some straight up answers, guess I'll really have to go out of my comfort zone and work for pleasure.....that's definetely an oxymoron
• jerikson40

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  12 years ago

  Dude, stop thinking it's in any way your fault. And stop asking a bunch of clueless, middle aged guys what a young girl is thinking. Because they have absolutely no clue. There is no right answer. It depends on the girl and the situation and a million things. It's not about logic, it's not about anything other than the fact that they're young girls doing something that their moms probably told them was a bad thing, and doing it for money. This crap about "man up and go ask them" could be a recipe for a crappy time or a wasted $20. Who the hell knows? Maybe none of them wanted to be there that day, maybe there was a fight in the dressing room, maybe their menstural cycles are synchronized and they're all having their periods and it's bitch central, or maybe their best friend died of a heroin overdose. Who the hell knows? You don't know, nobody here knows, and ultimately it doesn't matter. But there's no reason whatsoever to do what the guys here with absolutely no self esteem immediately do, and blame yourself. If you're having a crappy time, then get up and walk down the street to another club. Or stay there and try to salvage it if you feel real lucky.
• gatorfan

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  12 years ago

  They look for all of you dirt bags
• rickdugan

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  12 years ago

  "Dude, stop thinking it's in any way your fault. And stop asking a bunch of clueless, middle aged guys what a young girl is thinking. Because they have absolutely no clue." Well jerikson, that is one way to look at it I suppose. Another way to view it is that a number of guys on here have been doing this for a long time and have a pretty solid grip on how dancers tend to behave. ;) Now nobody is saying that it is his "fault." Sometimes it just is what it is.
• deogol

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  12 years ago

  "They look for all of you dirt bags" - that would be boyfriends. They look for all of you suckers - that would be PLs dropping their money for retirement at 35 into bullshit.
• Estafador

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  12 years ago

  they look for dirtbags? PLs I get, but not dirtbags (even if it means boyfriends). Didn't know they were intimidated by those type of people