What is a Review?

JacksonEsskay
Virginia
In this post (https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=1…) I suggested that TUSCL needs to have separate "Reviews" and "Reports", the latter being of the the variety typical of a "Visited this SC last night, not much action so I left."

A review, IMHO, is a lengthier analysis of the merit or lack thereof of a SC. I will be the first to concede that my first reviews were lacking in this area, but I've been trying to improve them. Here is what I would like to see in a "first visit review":

Start by being specific about when you went to the club; "Thursday night" does not tell me much, and "sometime last month" is even less helpful. Was it the dead of winter with six inches of snow, or was it a weekend night when the race was in town. If the club was dead on the former instance, I'm not surprised, if the latter, that tells me something.

Next, described the location -- is it safe, shady, etc. What's the parking lot like -- or is there none. Am I likely to find my car sitting on blocks when I leave the club. Include a description of the building and whether its easy to spot.

Entering the club: Is there a bouncer? Are you wanded? Do they check IDs? And a major one: Do they make you leave your cellphone in you car?

Cover: Be specific . . . is there a cover all the time or just in the evening? Id there a separate membership fee? And HOW MUCH? (I am constantly amazed at the number of reviews that say "I paid a cover . . . I think it was $7 or something -- Really? You cannot remember how much it was? Consider cutting back on the booze, my friend.)

Describe the interior -- be specific. Is it took dark, too bright, big, or small? What is the stage(s) like?Is there a bar and how big. Is the furniture nice or ratty? Are their private areas for LDs (and how private).

Describe the ambiance -- Is there a DJ or just a jukebox? Pool tables, darts, big screen TVs? What is the Bathroom like -- is it staffed? What kind of music do they play? What is the clientele like (cowboys, construction workers, frat boys, businessmen). Do thye serve food? What types of drinks are offered and at what cost.

Describe the number, variety and quality of the dancers. Describe the stage rotation.

Describe the availability of private dances, cost, frequency of 2-4-1 or specials. Do the dancers circulate or head to the bar or dressing room? Is it a hard sell for dances. What is the level of contact. What extras are offered.

20 comments

Latest

Dougster
12 years ago
tl;dr

Dude, this is just a strip club board. Let's keep things in perspective and not get overly serious about the whole matter, kay?
Club_Goer_Seattle
12 years ago
Jackson, A lot of what you're suggesting be included in reviews could be accommodated by additional check boxes within the current system. There have been several threads on how readers would like to see TUSCL improved, however, I have yet to see Founder make any changes due to reader requests. Around the time I joined, there was a "club discussion" button to use for club comments that aren't full reviews, but that was removed around mid-2011.

Also, what Dougster is pointing out is that not everyone is interested in the level of detail you are suggesting be included in club reviews. Some readers just want to know which dancers do what, and for how much, and they're not concerned with ambiance, head counts, parking, etc.

When I first jointed TUSCL, I had the impression that Founder actually reads the reviews and would be looking for certain points to be covered. Obviously, that's not the case. Some very short reviews get posted.
shadowcat
12 years ago
If reviewers would take the time to update club details, when submitting reviews, that would answere a lot of questions, but that would require some effort and they would receive no VIP credit for it.
JacksonEsskay
12 years ago
To be clear . . . I wasn't suggesting that everyone who posts a review should include this level of detail. Rather, this is what I would like to see in review. If you are fine with "Krystle gives great LDs", then post that -- of course, I am nearly certain that Krystle will not be there when I go :-(
SemiCrazy
12 years ago
I've also noticed reviews that were about 50% verbatum quotes from the review posted immediately prior. Most seem to be from just a few reviewers.
sinclair
12 years ago
Most on here are takers. They post vague stuff that could apply to any strip club in the country just to get VIP to see what the other reviews said. Few reviewers actually give detailed, helpful information. That actually requires a little effort. It is just a microcosm of Obama's America: People don't want to put in any work, but still feel entitled welfare and healthcare, of course provided by the tax dollars leeched off of the people who actually work.
thesamurai
12 years ago
It must be election season when a douchebag works politics into a discussion on strip club reviews.
gatorfan
12 years ago
Be happy you are reading complete sentences in English
Dougster
12 years ago
@samurai: Yeah, good point. Maybe Romney will call up sinclair and ask to use his line

"Under the Obama Administration people have grown so lazy and feel so entitled they aren't even putting effort into their strip club reviews! This is not the way America ought to be!"
rickdugan
12 years ago
"Most on here are takers. They post vague stuff that could apply to any strip club in the country just to get VIP to see what the other reviews said. Few reviewers actually give detailed, helpful information. That actually requires a little effort."

Agreed. More than effort though, it requires that a visit actually takes place and that money is spent. Each club visit obviously has a cost associated with it, both in terms of $$$ and time. And, generally speaking, good intel from a club requires a decent $$$ and time investment.

I don't even want to think about how much time and money was spent in obtaining the information necessary to write the reviews that I've posted on here. LOL.
JacksonEsskay
12 years ago
@Gatorfan: LOL
rickdugan
12 years ago
Jackson, wow.

In all honesty, as much as I complain about the generally poor level of contributions to the knowledge base, I have to say that I probably don't give a shit about most of that information. Interior, ambiance, location, weather conditions, whether there is a bouncer, etc., have virtually no impact on my visit.

In fact, my main issue is that, all too often, bad reviews will be stuffed full of crap relating to interior, ambiance, location, door procedures, etc., all of which can be obtained through a 10 minute club pop-in, while skimming over the most important stuff: *Information about, and experiences with, the girls, including the pricing of interactions with them.*

What do the dancers look like? How "friendly' are they? How many are there vs. the customers (dancer demand and availability)? What happens there (generally speaking)? How private is it? What are the costs of an LD/VIP/CR? What were your specific experiences with these things or, if you opted not to do a LD/VIP, why not?

Armed with that type of information, one can think about possible ROI and plan accordingly. In my humble opinion, most of that other stuff is just filler, though there may be certain other data points that stand out enough to warrant a mention (very unsafe area, great or horrible club conditions, etc.) I will also agree that other cost information, including cover, drink prices and "dancer" drink prices can also be useful in planning.

Anyway, just my two cents on this.
jester214
12 years ago
Dougster is telling someone else not to take this place to seriously? LOL.
mjx01
12 years ago
I've always felt the review submission feature should have more of a template (kind of along what Jackson is describing) but in the end dancer quality and mileage are the main factors IMO... although I can see what it isn't exactly appropriate to blatantly ask for mileage report
JacksonEsskay
12 years ago
I agree that dancer quality/interaction/pricing is important . . . but the issue I have with that is twofold. First, YMMV -- especially as one tends to expect that, like any good fish tale, there is likely to be some liberality with the truth (I recall an episode of Friends where Phoebe hosts her younger half-bother; when he is headed for home, he thanks her for, among other things, setting him up with a hooker; Phoebe corrects him, "She was a massage therapist," and he replies,"Yeah, but when I tell my friends about it, she's gonna be a hooker.") Second, I fall into the category of patrons who appreciate the fantasy element of SCing over the purely physical (making me in the minority among the posters here, I think),so while these thinks are important to a review, I also want to know whether I am going to like the place as much (well, at least in addition to) the dancers.

I like the idea of a template-based review -- even if many posters would leave most of the boxes blank.
3LeggedMan
12 years ago
A lot of what the OP asks for does not change. I do not want to read every review telling me the parking is free, the door charge is $10, the lighting is low, the DJ is an ass, the music is too loud, the men's room has a troll, etc. If that's never been stated, or has changed recently, by all means write it. But normally I read the reviews to read about the interactions with the dancers. Even if the reviewer does not identify specific strippers, it's great to know what activities are happening in that club.
motorhead
12 years ago
I totally agree with you Jackeon. Things like ease of parking, ability to find the club, clientele - while apparently unimportant to some - are very important to me. They all shape the total "total experience" and enjoyment of the club.

I don't know if it's still posted here, but founder did once have a suggested format for reviews. Your suggestions are similar but much more in depth.

Having said that, I don't put a lot of stock in reviews because there isn't a standardized rating system. How often have I seen someone write, "I don't like the club and doubt I'll be back" but give it a 9 score. And few things are as irritating as reading "extras were not available but I left happy".

mjx01
12 years ago
@ motor: the original submission guidelies from founder:
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=6…

I shall not condone plagerisim, but I personally like the template peter's tips uses for his blog...
http://petertips.blogspot.com/

In a nutshell:
- Dances
- Dancers
- value
- setup
- accessibility / location
- overall

The problem with the original guidlies is that they are not readily obvious on the review submission page. A more template format would guide users into putting things down for specific categories of details.

One idea: require something for dances, dancers, & value. Let others (setup, location) be optional.

From a CMS point of view... I don't think it would be that hard to a series of boxes for each category on the review page, and then combine the info in each box into one text block as it is now with header word(s) between each section.
minnow
12 years ago
JE- You forgot a few items from the "Master Review Checklist"

#38- Do the urinals have a divider or not?
#39- Do the crappers have a door ?

Seriously dude, one could only hit half the items on your list, yet still effectively answer the question whether one should go out of their way to visit club, or pointedly avoid it. Plus provide some amusement/entertainment to boot.

On another recent thread of yours- I don't feel the need to categorize and sub-divided Tuscl any further. This is a stripclub review site, not a county disaster response manual, or an operating manual for a 747.

Until several months ago, there was a discussion section for the individual clubs- a neat feature, but not a dealbreaker, IMHO. I personally don't find it too difficult to scroll.
JacksonEsskay
12 years ago
Here's a recently posted review that hits most of the right notes, IMHO

https://www.tuscl.net/rev.php?M=C&RID=15…
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