By aggressive I mean how eagerly should a customer seek out dances from a girl who attracts his attention? By nature and personality I am a gung-ho, let's get the ball rollin' kind of guy. I refuse to sit around sheepishly in a SC hoping against hope that the hot dancer I am ogling will acknowledge my existence. I am a regular in no single club and usually my time in each club is limited. My approach does not always work, however. Often girls will tell me I am just too creepy for them and that can only be my demeanour. I should add that I am witty and a good conversationalist with a broad sense of humour. I am nothing special to look at but I always have buckets of cash with me.
Responses from any dancers here would be most welcome.
I'm the same way in a Club where I don't know any Dancers Art. Just sitting on my ass doesn't cut it. I will ask the Dancers for Dances & tip them & ask for company. And from my perspective, I'm totally baffled by those men who just sit there doing nothing waiting for a dancer to come to them & then complaining about it when no Dancer approaches them.
I prefer to be in clubs where dancers are good about approaching customers, even if they aren't a regular, etc. But short of that, a good way to get attention is to tip them when they're on stage. If you are the biggest tipper during their stage set, they'd be silly not to come over to you. And if that doesn't work, it should not hurt to approach the dancer if they're standing somewhere or sitting somewhere alone. Be simple with your approach, they should get the idea right away that you're interested in them and should be pretty happy to take your $. If a girl is really just standing around or sitting down the whole time and not approaching guys then maybe its not even worth approaching her - in my experience even if these girls are hot they usually aren't so passionate about their job and the dances won't be as good.
At the two clubs I go to, pretty much every dancer will approach you though the evening so it's not really an issue about who I want to get a dance from. Unless one of my two favorites has been captured by a whale...
Art, in personality, I'm opposite you. I'm quiet and reserved, and I find it hard to approach people. I can testify that this is not a good way to act in a strip club, because dancers either don't notice you or think you're a stuck-up perv. When I go to a new club, I have to force myself to go up to attractive strippers and tip them. Fortunately, alcohol helps me to overcome my inhibitions.
This is why I've become a regular at a couple clubs. I don't feel uncomfortable with the dancers I've gotten to know. And the dancers know I will buy them drinks, spend money on lap dances and not act like a perv (well, not too much of a perv).
IMHO, just go for it...If you know the girl, just walk in grab her hand and let her know you want her....DO NOT, Repeat, DO NOT use the Caveman approach (aka grabbing her ass, or yanking her hair).....
As someone else mentioned, I've used the stage tipping move rather effectively a few times. This is where you've identified the hot babe you want to dance with and she's on stage. Timing it just right, come clear across the room and lay a $20 (or more) on the stage. Make quick, discrete and yet unmistakable passionate eye contact. Then retreat back to your prior position clear across the room. Later, she'll find you....
" I'm totally baffled by those men who just sit there doing nothing waiting for a dancer to come to them & then complaining about it when no Dancer approaches them."
Alucard. I'm one of those guys. I don't like it. But I'm really pretty shy and reserved. I don't feel comfortable taking the initiative. To me, that makes me feel like a bigger PL than I already am. I will tip on stage to get the girls attention but that's the limit.
That's why I prefer being either known regular and going to lap dance factories.
Art, if the club has a visible floor manager when you arrive, make nice with him first. Tell him what you're interested in and give him a nice tip. If he's any good at his job, he'll set you up by putting in the good word for you. That should get the gals rolling in your direction.
Just about any club will have dancers that won't approach. I have found that after a 1/2 hour of scoping out the place, if I haven't been approached by a dancer I'm attracted to, I'll just walk over and say hi and ask them to join me. If they do, great. If I creep them out for any reason, so be it. I can't please everyone.
Went to BBF last night. Tipped generously and asked four girls to come get me at my table. Not a single one came by, but that is typical here. I saw some girls sit with the same straight-brimmed-cap thugs and all night just getting a drink or two from them. For multiple hours and they made no money!
Also noted BBF raised prices Jan 1, 2012. Lapdances are now 15 to dancer and 5 to club each dance! $20 bucks per dance is a fair value but not a good value like the $12 buck dances were.
Always been my experience at BBF. Like I stated earlier I'm not real aggressive so BBF not a good place for guys like me. The high rankings at BBF continue to amaze me. It's a long drive so just not worth it.
@Art: Your approach is similar to mine, except that I tend to spend some time scoping things out first before I approach anybody, similar to what VM is talking about. As for the creepiness factor, body language says a lot. I try to *look* relaxed, e.g. slouching, leaning back, etc., even if I'm not. Not looking like I'm going to attack them seems to go a fair way to raising their comfort level. :)
Seriously though, georg, aggression, the projection of power, and the like is a most important part of my schtick when doing a deal in the oil patch. It really IS me. I find it so hard to soften my 'aura' when I am in a social situation. Getting pissed is my usual answer to this problem.
That is my preferred approach too motorhead. BUT if I'm in unknown waters, I have to use the more aggressive approach.
"I wish I could be more aggressive but does that make me appear I wish I could be more aggressive but does that make me appear desperate"
Not in my experience. I believe you only "appear" desperate when you ACTUALLY ARE desperate! I believe this feeling Bleeds thru as nonverbal communication.
@Art: If it's your personality, you're going to have a tough time masking it. Since it seems to work much of the time, I would say don't worry about it. After all, no strategy works *all* of the time. :)
I can pull off the mild-mannered laid back thing, because for the most part, that's what I am. If you're a straight out of the gate to getter in the rest of your life, you probably aren't going to convincingly portray much else. You should probably settle for just varying the *degree* of aggressiveness instead of trying to suppress it.
The ones that refuse your advances due to creepiness, I suggest just either tell them what you're willing to pay or give them a peek at your bucket of cash. Strippers are there to make money first and foremost and if they aren't...well the problem doesn't lie with your aggressive "creepiness" it lies within her pretty little head.
i have never ever stage tipped, by all means look close (bit of eye contact always good) when someone you like is on stage and let them know you like them, a nice bit of applause doesnt harm either. nothing wrong with a quick stint in perverts row, but i dont camp out there all night.
if i am determined i want that dancer ! i may even shift position to be sat at a table ready to be the first one she could come to when she finishes her set. on a busy night you sometimes gotta grab a good one when you can (and right after a stage show sometimes when i am most turned on by that dancer too!). there you are, how aggressive is that, i find mostly the girl impressed if you did something to show you liked them. they need their egos fed like any other woman.
dont understand why any dancer would think anyone 'creepy' who went to them up and asked them for a dance, that is what they are there for, to dance and make money. they will usually be glad you approached, rather than them having to waste their own valuable time working the room and talking to people, who in the end are not gonna pay for dances.
if there is someone i like, i have no problem seeking them out, being polite, letting them know i would like a dance as soon as they are ready. very rare they would not be ready immediatley when you got cash in your pocket !
just act like a gentleman, be polite always when asking, and you will find almost every girl will be happy to make sure you enjoy your night.
if you are shy, by all means just say to whoever that you like a paticular girl and get her over. she'll soon be at your table and if shes not, well she prob not worth bothering with anyway. no-one is ever a PL or desperate in my book, we are all just there to have a good night out, do whatever to make sure you do.
Great comments and suggestions here. I too tip at the rail through out a dancers set if I'm interested in her and will get right to the point of asking them to come see me at the bar when they are done. Interesting to relate to Shadowcat's point - it does sometimes happen then that now I've confirmed I'll wait for them, they take their sweet time coming to me, even going to other guys first. Only sometimes though. The first time I approached a dancer first was after I watched her saunter across the club and stand near a wall grooving to the music even though she wasn't on stage. I walked over and complemented her on her "presence." Ended up having a good time with her. Still yet to see any Dancers comments on this. Do you see the tips at the tip rail as interest and an invitation or are you thinking, "God I can't wait to get off this stage?"
Normally, I prefer to wait for dancers to approach me, because I judge them a lot by their approach: What they say, how they present themselves, how long they'll engage in conversation before popping the question, and what their body language is during the conversation. Occasionally, if I'm either impatient, have little time left, or a certain dancer I want to meet just hasn't circulated to my area of the club where I'm sitting, I will approach them. Only once did a dancer hesitate. We did go for a few dances. Afterward, she told me that at first, because I asked HER for a dance, that she thought I was a cop. (I have been mistaken for being a cop a few times in my club-going career. See my thread on that subject at: https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=1…) Also, dancers have told me they JUST LOVE IT when a customer approaches them for a dance. They feel flattered, and it makes their work so much easier!
I never, ever, chase after dancers. I am not the least bit shy, but rather I want the dancers to be working for me rather than the other way around. I just sit there, usually suited up and quietly acting like I own the joint, and wait for them to come to me.
I would rather sit there for my entire visit without company than to start an interaction by giving a dancer the impression that I wanted her badly enough to pursue her. It is a horrible place to start from if we eventually end up in negotiations.
@rick: Your SOP obviously works for you, and the fact that much of your game is on the road, whereas I'm mostly a homebody, may be the salient difference, but I gotta be honest here, I haven't noticed a great deal of difference over the years between the two approaches.
I'll agree that an air of desperation will hurt a bargaining position, but IMO, the willingness to walk away from a poor deal is more important than who approaches who. Now, given that I *am* on my home turf, that might be easier...no, that's the wrong word, maybe less risk of going home with blue balls, for me. There's another girl over there, or in the next club down the road, or maybe even the next night, and maybe too, this one will come around and be more reasonable the next time I see her.
agree its much better if they come to you. always best that way.
but if there's one paticular stunner working and the whole busy club seems to wants a dance with her, i make sure i beat the whole club to it. depends on how busy the club, how much you want that best girl and how much time you got to spend waiting?
As far as the creepiness factor. I have little doubt that we've seen some strange clubgoers in our visits. I've enjoyed watching them in action and hope they get some satisfaction. Even "creeps" need love. :)
I sometimes don't even get to sit down before a dancer approaches me. It's rare that I get left alone for 30 whole minutes unless a club is almost dead or it's really late. I do remember a club many years ago where the dancers didn't go around asking for dances fo the most part. I caught on fairly fast. If I see something I want I'll approach whenever I feel like it.
I do like to tip on stage and get some grinding during the tip and I also like it when a dancer throws both her legs up around your head and gets up close to your face. That is as long as she doesn't go too wild during the stage tip. I remember one dancer seemed like she was trying to see if she could break the neck of someone brave enough to tip. She put both legs up around a guy's neck and would rock her legs and body quickly and violently. I thought that looked dangerous. I didn't tip her very much. You could get a swore neck. One dancer I tipped on stage undid and took off my belt with her teeth. That impressed me.
One dancer climbed up the cage and jumped down on my shoulders when I went to tip her. I don't care for jumping down on top of me with the high heels on my shoulders. She did cushion her landing but I wasn't feeling too safe. I once had a dancer duck underneath me and come up to my face so fast she actually hit my nose and gave me my first ever bloody nose. I was not happy at all and left the club after the bleeding stopped.
Anyway it's been a long time since I saw someone who didn't approach me first. I often won't bother asking for dances because unless it's high contact, I don't expect to get that much enjoyment out of it. I can watch someone on stage and get just about as much out of that if it's not a high contact dance. As far as girls rubbing on me, they all start feeling the same after a while. That was why I told one hot dancer no thanks a couple of weeks ago when she asked if I wanted a dance after already getting several. She was once one of my favorites when she worked in Greenville.
Be aggressive. Works best. Also keep in mind that they are just whores. I often get the sense that many here worry too much about their supposed feelings. Get real! Most don't have any.
I do like it with dancers asking for dances. It can get a bit frustrating if you are new to a club and dancer after dancer just keeps asking if you want a dance nonstop. Sometimes I have wished some clubs would put signs on tables that you could turn up and it just said "TIME OUT". and meant dancers could sit and talk but don't ask for dances.
Farmerart, I am obviously creeper than you because I once had a dancer walk away as I tried to approach her. I generally am a small time stage tipper even at the nice clubs though it doesn't always get the girls to come back and see me. One approach between walking up to a girl and waiting is to paid the waitress to go find you a girl. I met my CF by tipping a waitress to let a chatty dancer know I wanted to see her before the end of her shift. One for one on that technique.
I did have a manager pull a dancer I was with aside to let the dancer know there was one more guy she had to see before the end of the night. CTQWERTY was that you at the Penthouse club?
Although waiting for a girl to approach may work for most, IMHO life's too short to wait around and hope that the hot dancer that's hopelessy busy will find time to come to you. Although I also prefer to be asked, I have no trouble approaching a dancer to get her attention.
farmerart - perhaps you're too caffeinated......slow down on that RedBull! ;)
I generally will sit down and survey to see what is available and who stops by to say hello. But if I see someone who raises a flag, I have no problem going up and asking for a dance or tipping on stage. In my younger days, I missed out on some dancers because I waited for them to come to me when I could have easily gone to them when they were just standing around. I now will also have bouncers let a dancer who is occupied know I am interested so I didn't have to keep an eye out on her while she was with another customer.
Art - stay true to who you are and let the chips fall where they may, If you are genuine you will have a bevy of ladies in your lap with your scratch.
'..............slow down on that RedBull'...............you say.
You crack me up. Next RedBull I drink would be the first one of my life. RedBull? For an oilman? Get outta here! Beer and a shot? ........Anytime. A good Bordeaux or any single malt?............Bring it on!
In the words of the great George Thorogood, 1 BOURBON, 1 SCOTCH, and 1 BEER...
When my son turned 21, at his request, we went to our local watering hole to try this out. I found out that after three rounds, one can not count and barley think. It was a great night. The next day we went and I bought him his first handgun. A great bonding couple 24 hours!
In my experience if there's a dancer I'm really interested in and don't want to chance her not coming by I'll wait for her to finish her stage set and when she's doing the tip walk I'll either directly hand her a few dollars or drop them in front of her where she can see...I'll smile and ask her to come see me when she's done. That seems to work pretty well.
I think that the answer to the OP is different now then it was a year ago. I'm fairly shy too, but it used to be that if I tipped a dancer on stage, she'd come down after her set, thank me, and ask if I wanted a dance. This worked 95% of the time. If it was a new dancer that i *really* wanted a dance from, I might even ask her while she's on stage, just to be sure. But I rarely had to do that.
But lately, that's just not the case. I've tipped generously on stage, and while I get "thank you"-s right then, over half the time, the dancer doesn't approach me after her set, even when I'm only 10 feet from the stage. And it's not even because she's returning to the regular or the whale who was too lazy to get his fat ass up and tip her on stage.
I sniffed my pits and that wasn't the issue. And I can't be THAT much uglier than I was a year ago. I don't know what it is.
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As always, YMMV
Most all you ever need in a club for most dancers, our current dancing members excepted. :)
This is why I've become a regular at a couple clubs. I don't feel uncomfortable with the dancers I've gotten to know. And the dancers know I will buy them drinks, spend money on lap dances and not act like a perv (well, not too much of a perv).
Art - Being assertive is fine, but the chloroform and duct tape may be a little too much.
Alucard. I'm one of those guys. I don't like it. But I'm really pretty shy and reserved. I don't feel comfortable taking the initiative. To me, that makes me feel like a bigger PL than I already am. I will tip on stage to get the girls attention but that's the limit.
That's why I prefer being either known regular and going to lap dance factories.
Also noted BBF raised prices Jan 1, 2012. Lapdances are now 15 to dancer and 5 to club each dance! $20 bucks per dance is a fair value but not a good value like the $12 buck dances were.
Always been my experience at BBF. Like I stated earlier I'm not real aggressive so BBF not a good place for guys like me. The high rankings at BBF continue to amaze me. It's a long drive so just not worth it.
That is my preferred approach too motorhead. BUT if I'm in unknown waters, I have to use the more aggressive approach.
"I wish I could be more aggressive but does that make me appear I wish I could be more aggressive but does that make me appear desperate"
Not in my experience. I believe you only "appear" desperate when you ACTUALLY ARE desperate! I believe this feeling Bleeds thru as nonverbal communication.
I can pull off the mild-mannered laid back thing, because for the most part, that's what I am. If you're a straight out of the gate to getter in the rest of your life, you probably aren't going to convincingly portray much else. You should probably settle for just varying the *degree* of aggressiveness instead of trying to suppress it.
if i am determined i want that dancer ! i may even shift position to be sat at a table ready to be the first one she could come to when she finishes her set. on a busy night you sometimes gotta grab a good one when you can (and right after a stage show sometimes when i am most turned on by that dancer too!). there you are, how aggressive is that, i find mostly the girl impressed if you did something to show you liked them. they need their egos fed like any other woman.
dont understand why any dancer would think anyone 'creepy' who went to them up and asked them for a dance, that is what they are there for, to dance and make money. they will usually be glad you approached, rather than them having to waste their own valuable time working the room and talking to people, who in the end are not gonna pay for dances.
if there is someone i like, i have no problem seeking them out, being polite, letting them know i would like a dance as soon as they are ready. very rare they would not be ready immediatley when you got cash in your pocket !
just act like a gentleman, be polite always when asking, and you will find almost every girl will be happy to make sure you enjoy your night.
if you are shy, by all means just say to whoever that you like a paticular girl and get her over. she'll soon be at your table and if shes not, well she prob not worth bothering with anyway. no-one is ever a PL or desperate in my book, we are all just there to have a good night out, do whatever to make sure you do.
I would rather sit there for my entire visit without company than to start an interaction by giving a dancer the impression that I wanted her badly enough to pursue her. It is a horrible place to start from if we eventually end up in negotiations.
I'll agree that an air of desperation will hurt a bargaining position, but IMO, the willingness to walk away from a poor deal is more important than who approaches who. Now, given that I *am* on my home turf, that might be easier...no, that's the wrong word, maybe less risk of going home with blue balls, for me. There's another girl over there, or in the next club down the road, or maybe even the next night, and maybe too, this one will come around and be more reasonable the next time I see her.
but if there's one paticular stunner working and the whole busy club seems to wants a dance with her, i make sure i beat the whole club to it. depends on how busy the club, how much you want that best girl and how much time you got to spend waiting?
That's true Vince. :)
I do like to tip on stage and get some grinding during the tip and I also like it when a dancer throws both her legs up around your head and gets up close to your face. That is as long as she doesn't go too wild during the stage tip. I remember one dancer seemed like she was trying to see if she could break the neck of someone brave enough to tip. She put both legs up around a guy's neck and would rock her legs and body quickly and violently. I thought that looked dangerous. I didn't tip her very much. You could get a swore neck. One dancer I tipped on stage undid and took off my belt with her teeth. That impressed me.
Anyway it's been a long time since I saw someone who didn't approach me first. I often won't bother asking for dances because unless it's high contact, I don't expect to get that much enjoyment out of it. I can watch someone on stage and get just about as much out of that if it's not a high contact dance. As far as girls rubbing on me, they all start feeling the same after a while. That was why I told one hot dancer no thanks a couple of weeks ago when she asked if I wanted a dance after already getting several. She was once one of my favorites when she worked in Greenville.
I did have a manager pull a dancer I was with aside to let the dancer know there was one more guy she had to see before the end of the night. CTQWERTY was that you at the Penthouse club?
farmerart - perhaps you're too caffeinated......slow down on that RedBull! ;)
Art - stay true to who you are and let the chips fall where they may, If you are genuine you will have a bevy of ladies in your lap with your scratch.
'..............slow down on that RedBull'...............you say.
You crack me up. Next RedBull I drink would be the first one of my life. RedBull? For an oilman? Get outta here! Beer and a shot? ........Anytime. A good Bordeaux or any single malt?............Bring it on!
In the words of the great George Thorogood, 1 BOURBON, 1 SCOTCH, and 1 BEER...
When my son turned 21, at his request, we went to our local watering hole to try this out. I found out that after three rounds, one can not count and barley think. It was a great night. The next day we went and I bought him his first handgun. A great bonding couple 24 hours!
But lately, that's just not the case. I've tipped generously on stage, and while I get "thank you"-s right then, over half the time, the dancer doesn't approach me after her set, even when I'm only 10 feet from the stage. And it's not even because she's returning to the regular or the whale who was too lazy to get his fat ass up and tip her on stage.
I sniffed my pits and that wasn't the issue. And I can't be THAT much uglier than I was a year ago. I don't know what it is.