Ultimate Strip club

I don't know if other guys would be into this, but I liked how Safari Show Club also had an outdoor pole and pool, so you can see dancers in natural sunlight during summer days.

Plenty of free parking. But please, no valet.

Choose feature dancers carefully. They can bring in big crowds, but with only a few exceptions, not many put on good shows.

Cheaper dances and total privacy in the VIP

It's going to depend on the person's personality (and income) but for me Sapphire's in Vegas is the model strip club. Big, really big, posh, hot women but not too pushy. It's the Vegas model of making you feel like a king, whether you are or not, to try and pry your money away from you.

One thing if for sure, though. No matter what you do, no bathroom attendant! We all would just like to take a piss and then wash our hands all by ourselves, TYVM.

That's the ideal club, IMO, but might not be the best business model in the current economy.

Free parking, a reasonable cover, and give the dancers free drinks so they aren't hitting us up to buy them drinks. Have alcohol available. If you can't get a license to sell alcohol and it's illegal to give people free drinks like the clubs in Pennsylvania do, set up next door to a bar, beer distributor, or someplace else that sells alcohol. Even if you can't serve drinks to your customers, take care of the dancers. Many of them will earn you more money if they're drunk than if they're sober.

Keep the sound system loud enough that someone a couple of feet away from me can't listen in on my conversation and soft enough that I can have a conversation with a dancer without shouting into her ear.

Security is important. Have video cameras everywhere public and make them visible. Don't hide them, put them in white, weatherproof domes and have a prominent sign at the front door telling everyone that the cameras are there. Don't put them in the private areas such as the lap dance rooms but put them everywhere else. If I get assaulted in the club, which has almost happened to me before, I want the whole incident to be caught on video so that I don't get thrown out and if the cops are called I don't have charges filed against me. Hire good bouncers. Bouncers are for my protection as a customer as much as they're for the protection of the club and the dancers.

Make the private rooms private. Sound proof them and put doors on them. Make the lap dance area semi-private by having curtains that are drawn closed during lap dances too. See my comments on security, have bouncers in the areas where dances happen so that when a customer goes too far the dancers can call for help. Also, don't put locks on the doors and keep the sound proofing light enough that the bouncers can hear the girls calling for help through the doors.

Make the club non-smoking and make half of the VIP rooms non-smoking and have a separate ventilation system for the smoking ones. You'll want to have an area in the club where smokers can smoke inside, but keep the rest smoke free. I don't smoke, and I like being in a non-smoking club, but when I go to clubs where smoking is allowed I see a lot of customers smoking. You want to attract every customer, not just smokers or non-smokers.

There's something to be said for high production values. I ran through this club in Switzerland, Teatro, that had what looked to be vintage furniture set around the place like some swanky art house. Even when an interior has the gentlemens club bells and whistles, a lot of places tend to have the same stuff. It's kinda like the suburbs, nice but bland. Variety in the look and feel of the place is definitely near the top of my list. Something that gives it a distinct personality. Not Mitchell Bros extreme in its variety, but not everything the same wall to wall. And a pool table or two never hurts.

@wallanon. I agreed with everything you said until you mentioned pool tables. My pet peeve. It's always been my opinion that if the girls are so boring and unattractive that one has to resort to playing pool, then..,,

On second thought, if there's betting involved and I'm playing a dancer and she loses, what do I win? :)

I like the feeling of desperation in the air. That way I can get the most for my money. My ideal club has 10 girls working on a Monday with 1 other customer that's about to die any second.

Pump the place full of desperation by cash raping your girls. That will keep them hungry and your customers happy.

You walk in the front door, and it's a casino (with restaurant in rear). You go up to the teller window and you can buy 100 in fake money with 10 bucks.

The strip club is on the second floor. As previously mentioned, total privacy in VIP.

Well, the maximum mileage that the local law enforcement will allow plus the maximum VIP privact that the law will allow. Second, when there is no dancer on stage pull the volume down to background music levels so that discussion can occur. In additionwhen there is nobody on stage bring the house lights up a little and the stage lights down. Make the dancer coming on stage an event and make her coming off the stage an event too...all staff, even other dancers, applaud. Make the bar have some good values or if it is soft drinks have ordinary soft drinks be unlimited refills.

In the ultimate strip club, extras would be known as "necessities."

VALUE!

I think extras are extras

@motorhead: Exactly. As for what can be won, it's interesting to see what a gal will wager if you get her competitiveness going...plus you get a lot of nice angles for pocket change.

I agrre pretty much with Canny's post.

@Canny - doesn't Silky' and Club Erotica technically give away beer for 'free'?

my ultimate club would be full of hot babes, completly private full nude high mileage 10 dollar lappers with extras, and no other customers! :-)

A few other Pennsylvania clubs give away free drinks too, more than just beer. They can't get liquor licenses and Pa's laws are written so that they only apply to selling alcohol, not serving it. It's legal for any business to give alcohol away as long as they don't give it to anyone under 21, they just need a liquor license to sell it.

WOW Thank you all so much! you all had good ideas especially:canny, motorhead, ino123 and gillydon I really like the idea of an outside strip club pool but have never seen one before

shel,

At a club in Miami (still there, different name), they used to have an outdoor shower. The dancers would soap up and shower. It was pretty nice. One time, a guy join a dancer, but he remained clothed. Not sure if he paid for it or just went up. In any case, I wonder how you explain driving, going, home, whatever, soaked?

lol yeah that might be hard to explain to the wife lol. I think the outdoor shower thing is pretty cool. do you know the name of the club?

shel,

Back then it was "The Alley Cat". Now it is named "Playmates".