Dancer: "You're the first customer I've gone out with...Please don't murder me.

avatar for steve229
steve229

So what am I supposed to say to that? LOL

27 comments

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avatar for HB13
HB13
13 years ago
Heard something similar ("please don't kill me") when I gave my ATF a ride home.

"Don't worry, I want this to continue. I don't want it to end." Or something to that effect.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
If I were in a less than good mood, I might ask her in response - "If you think that then why are you going out with me Honey?"

avatar for Sowhatt
Sowhatt
13 years ago
Laugh. Appreciate the attempt at levity. But don't forget that even though the statement is couched as a joke, underlying that is a real concern. Don't do anything to push her if she suddenly decides she's uncomfortable.

It's like a first time LD with a new girl. Keep your hands to yourself (metaphorically) and she's more likely to guide you to where you wanted to go in the first place.

After all, if she wasn't down for what's going to happen, she wouldn't be out with you in the first place.
avatar for creepshow
creepshow
13 years ago
"No problem... now could you help me get this couch into the back of my van?"
avatar for VETERANCLUBBER
VETERANCLUBBER
13 years ago
Steve, how's baby #1 and baby #2 going for you? You mentoned your old ATF is back, is the new ATF on the back burner? I can imagine a bitch fight in the dressing room
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bang69
13 years ago
I agree with veteranclubber. Sounds. like one hell of a cat fight in dressing room
avatar for steve229
steve229
13 years ago
@veteranclubber - Baby #1 and Baby #2 are in different clubs/cities. I learned that lesson the hard way, lol.
avatar for mjx01
mjx01
13 years ago
Not sure what to say about that. I wish I had gotten that far with my xATF.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
13 years ago
There really isn't much that you CAN say to that, steve!
(note to self: move butcher knife and duct tape from glove box to trunk.)

=D
avatar for looneylarry
looneylarry
13 years ago
*haw* lopaw, love it. Steve, why is your inside door handle missing on the passenger side?
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
13 years ago
Sounds like she was in a 'romantic' frame of mind for the date ... Pretty tough to salvage that one!

avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
I make rape jokes more than I should. Luckily, the dancers that stolick around me do it for the humor.
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
13 years ago
Then again, you've could've turned to her after her statement and replied, "Is now a good time to ask for hand job?"
avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
*stick

I reiterate what Sowhatt said. Make a passing joke, then back it up with protective actions toward her - open doors, walk on the street side, help her in and out of the vehicle, etc. Then, judge her comfort zone on how far to take things physically. I get away with the rape jokes because 1) they know I'm a clown, and 2) they know I go to strippers because I expect them to be playful, sexual, and aggressive! If I wanted a passive girl, I take one from the street.


(I know some dancers are passive and timid, but I don't deal with these)
avatar for inno123
inno123
13 years ago
I agree that it is gallows humor, so the best way is with your own humor.

How about, 'Oh I have very strict rules about how far I will go on a first date'.
avatar for steve_ny
steve_ny
13 years ago
Lol, creepshow. Put the lotion in the basket!!
avatar for Rlionheart
Rlionheart
13 years ago
Although it doesn't happen a lot, if she isn't sure enough such that she asks the question, then she needs to find another conveyance. Seriously, Bundy came across like the all american kid. There are ways to find out about customers and she should always do that before going for a ride.
avatar for Dudester
Dudester
13 years ago
Two years ago, when I took ATF3 on a trip, I drove her out to some remote ranch land that I own. Seeing how remote it was, she got out of the car and said "You could hide a body pretty easily out here." As my stepfather would've done, I gave her a disapproving look and said nothing. After a quiet moment I pointed out that the land was adjacent to a dormant volcano, but since a massive geologic upheaval caused the volcano in the first place....

Anyway, the death subject wasn't revisited.
avatar for magicrat
magicrat
13 years ago
I had been hitting up a fav for otc for awhile with no luck, then out of the blue one day she said "why don't you get a room?" Later on I asked her what changed her mind and her reply was "Well I didn't think you would leave me in a ditch." Damn I miss that girl!
avatar for runrdude
runrdude
13 years ago
She has low expectations so don't murder her and you're good. It probably is O.K. to make her scream though.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
steve229, tell her. You are one of the women I've enjoyed out of the club. Don't break my streak of not being murdered by them. :)
avatar for Fenster
Fenster
13 years ago
Tell her that, due to a court order, you're required to provide her with pepper spray.

And give her a 'safe word'; something like 'fuck me harder!'.
avatar for HonestT
HonestT
13 years ago
Boy that was a mood killer!

@inno123: That was sooo funny!
avatar for SnakePlissken
SnakePlissken
13 years ago
Say "I'm also going to be the last you go out with! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
avatar for spudd
spudd
13 years ago
My fav waitress/bartender lets me have free drinks, and in return, she fills out my credit card receipt (tips). One time, she tells me, "Just be glad I'm not ripping you."

My reply, "Just be glad I'm not raping you."

She then gave me the evil eye look, then laughed.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
And you're the first stripper I've gone out with, don't steal everything I own
avatar for LeeH
LeeH
13 years ago
"Well, I was going to, but since you asked so nicely..."
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