Like their jobs?

28 comments

• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  BG, here's a little trick that I started doing years ago which helped me a great deal. Start every day by going for a walk, and while you're walking think about everything that's good in your life and gives thanks for it all. Your physiology also helps - put a smile on your face, throw your shoulders back, head held high, walk with a spring in your step and listen to the birds singing. Sounds hokey, I know, but it works for me. I also find that going to the gym and running regularly help me to stay positive. I also strongly recommend not watching TV, especially TV news. TV news is strongly biased towared only reporting what's bad in the world, and you want to focus on what's good. I once read that studies have shown that the more TV you watch the more pessimistic you're likley to be. I think that's true. If you want to know what's really going on in youur world, go for a walk.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  All good advice. Sometimes I think asthma alone is responsible for all my troubles. :)
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  Why don't they? Why don't I? I dunno ... I forget; or, my internal mechanisms and chemicals get the better of me, to the point that I'm not capable of improving on my mood simpyl by deciding that it should be better. I dated a girl who was "metabolically happy" once; she just simply had a positive outlook on everything "because she was born that way." I'm impressed with people who "make the choice." I would like to "make the choice" to be "PRODUCTIVE AND HAPPY," not just "happy." I wonder how you go about doing that?
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  My ATF is one of the most positive poeple who I've ever met, which makes it a real joy to be around her. We've talked about it many times. She says it's a decision that she makes every morning, she chooses to be positive for that day befcause it's more fun to live like that. Everyone in her family is extremely negative and a long time ago she decided that she wasn't going to live like that. Since I've known her I try to do the same thing. It's a decision that anyone can make. So why don't they?
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  "Like people in any other field, some dancers are very positive people and will always find something in the job to enjoy, while others are very negative and will always find something to bitch about." FONDL: I couldn't agree with you more. I've spent a lifetie looking for the positive ladies (and finding them) while avoiding the negative ones.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  I think there's another factor here. Many dancers that I've "met" (I use the word advisedly; they were all on the job at the time I encountered them) simply don't BOTHER to improve on things. They are the sorts of people who don't generally have longer-term planning skills, or they don't see their plans through. I think a lot of people in "dead end" jobs feel that way -- maybe they end up having to put in so much energy just to stay afloat at their current job, that they don't have the time or energy to look for something better, or get educated and certified for something better. Maybe they have class and educational backgrounds that limit their options, but can't afford to take "time out" to change their background. Maybe the ancillary accoutrments of the job -- always going out after work with "the gang," being "expected" to show off your clothing / car / house / Mont Blanc pen -- take up your non-work time to such an extent that ALL your time is actually occupied by your current job. Strippers can fall into this trap quite easily. I hear of lots of them who spend all their time with people from / associated with their jobs. They date a manager, live with a stripper, drive a long way three or four days a week, and on their few off days they smoke weed with guys from the club and therefore don't get anything else done. Although these activities aren't "required" in the way that a white-collar office would "require" attendance at some retreat hotel boot camp for "networking" on your vacation time, nevertheless the strippers' activities are "expected" in the sense that they "come with the job." One of the best things about losing your job, is that the experience gives you time to figure out why you hated that job so much, and maybe figure out how to improve on things. For me, whenever I've been working 8 to 5, I basically haven't experienced the capacity to even EAT and SLEEP enough, because of the time and energy demands of the job. I can't imagine that stripping would be physically less challenging. For me, work is what prevents me from getting better work. I think strippers are in the same boat. And I'm utterly amazed at those women who run some community non-profit agency, as a single mother manage to raise their children, and work a regular job all at the same time. When I'm working a regular job I can't even get done with the regular job before bedtime.
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  The Wal MArt comparison is a good one. Unfortunately a lot of the not-so-attractive dancers that we have been subjected to lately use the "it's better than Wal Mart mone" rule of thumb when making the decision to strip. The only reason I've ever heard a dancer give besides money is flexibilty of scheduling. It's great to be able to make a good weeks pay in a shift or two (many clubs require three).
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Yoda, I agree that schedule flexibility is a major attraction for many dancers. But there are other attractions too. I used to be a regular of a dancer who absolutely loved dancing on stage in front of people. She spent a lot of time at home perfecting her dancing routines and she was one of the best stage dancers I've ever seen. My ATF loved meeting new people (still does) and considered that a major benefit of the job. And some girls like the idea of being a stripper, it gives them a certain status that they enjoy. Like people in any other field, some dancers are very positive people and will always find something in the job to enjoy, while others are very negative and will always find something to bitch about.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I thinkwhen you ask if they like their jobs you have to say "compared to what?" Do they like their jobs compared to having winning the lottery? Probably not. but compared to working at the Walmart down the street? Probably most do. And I agree with Yoda that money is a major part of it. But there are other factors too. Just like anyone else.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Mess: In case you didn't mean that as a joke, a wet pussy shouldn't be taken as a voluntary signal proving that a woman is liking it. Even rape victims can get wet, or so I'm told. Maybe those strippers are like good actors who've been trained to cry on cue.
• messaround

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  18 years ago

  Some must like it and be border line (or over the border) nymphos - I've had times where playing with the kitty can yield a very wet finger so some must really like their jobs - most of the time they probably tolerate it for the good hourly rate we seem to supply
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I agree with Chandler. I've never had a job I would have done without getting paid. But there were things that I really liked about most of my jobs or I wouldn't have done them regardless of the pay. I don't see why being a dancer is any different. If there aren't things about it that they like they aren't going to stay very long regardless of the money. They may not admit it, even to themselves, but there are aspects of the job that they like or they wouldn't be there. And there are aspects that they probably hate, just like most of us.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Yoda: No one is claiming that they would do it without being paid. I don't think liking your job, or an aspect of your job, has to mean that. Only a very few lucky and gifted people who are doing the thing they love would say that. If strippers make their customers believe they are doing the thing they love, that's a tribute to their acting and men's gullibility. We both know they wouldn't do it if they weren't getting not just paid, but paid well.
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  I've heard many times from a dancer that seeing me really brightens up her day. I believe most of the time I hear that they are sincere since a number of dancers don't say that and just go through routines. A few times I have heard "I'm bored." That doesn't sound like the dancers are getting turned on by the customers. What is even worse in my opinion is if I feel the same way about the dancers in a club (boring and not turning me on). I'm sure it's the same way for dancers as it is for me. You may see a bunch of fuglies, and then a bunch of average looking people (either dancers or customers in a dancers case), then on a busy night, you may see a few good looking dancers (or customers from the dancer's point of view). Then the better looking people may be a bit stuck up (customer doesn't want dances or dancer charges a lot more than normal or won't allow touching). Or the better looking people are not friendly or unavailable when it comes to a dancer and/or customer. To sum up, a dancer like many other people would rather not have to work to make their money. As far as getting turned on, I bet they get turned on once in a blue moon with the right customer. I've noticed some odd situations where the dancer was acting strange and even one dancer commented to a dancer grinding on me one time asking if she was ok. She actually seemed to be getting off on me. I think that's a rare occasion even if dancers try to make you think its not.
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  Chandler: I wasn't referring to your comment specifically. I've heard that a lot as well. However, I stand by my original response: Would they do it if they were not getting paid? Most dancers would say no. As far as dancers dancing for jerks, I'm not saying they will give a guy a blow job or do anything else that they don't want to. But they will try to get his money just the same.
• Mickkeyc

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  18 years ago

  Customer appreciation, lol, I like the analogy Like frequent flyer miles, or a toaster with a new account!
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Mick: I liked your question because it called for broad generalizations in reply. I get tired of qualifying every answer I post here. BTW, being *offered* an OTC experience can mean a lot of things. And even when it actually happens, customer appreciation is good business, but it isn't necessarily the same as liking their customers.
• Mickkeyc

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  18 years ago

  Thannks for your responses.... If you are offered an OTC experience for no money - it would seem to be a good indication that she likes her customer AT THAT MOMENT. Just got me wondering if they like most of their customers, and if they like the job in general. Obviously there is a lot of variability between dancers and even between days, for a particular dancers. (Like all human beings, I like my job some days a lot more than others...)
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I've known several strippers who claimed that they actually loved the stage dancing part of their jobs. I've known a lot who said that they enjoyed meeting new people and liked a lot of their customers. But most of them hate many of the customers and some of the people they work with, especially some managers. I also think many dancers go through cycles: when they first start they love it (which is when I like to meet them), then the asshole customers wear them down to the point that they hate it, then eventually acceptance sets in and it becomes just a boring job which they neither like nor dislike, and that cycle repeats itself as they switch from club to club. And I think that cycle is pretty typical for many people in other jobs too. Let's face it, most jobs become pretty boring after a while. It's called work for a reason.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Yoda, I don't know if your line about self-expression was in response to mine. I was referring more to the kind of outlet for a sexually expressive alter-ego that stripping affords. That's an aspect that a lot of girls like about their work more than they would, say, a typical office job. I didn't mean anything like the artistic self-expression of a dance performance. (As if...)
• AbbieNormal

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  18 years ago

  As the punchline to the old joke goes, "After a year your job still sucks." There have only been a few strippers I've been friendly enough with to talk about job satisfaction and have me believe them. Based on that I think Chitown and Yoda have it about right. There is an added element that they have to sell a fantasy that they are all permently horny and available, plus they have to seem interested or sympathetic to the loser crying in his beer and put up with the grabby drunk guy that is tipping well. I think stripping probably takes a higher toll than most of the service jobs since the stripper has to at least seem to be emotionally involved, but like most, the good money and flexible hours make it worthwhile. As for customers I am certain strippers are similar to waiters and bartenders in their outlook. The regulars that are polite and tip well you remember and like. Everybody in the place knows who they are. They get exceptional service. They usually know they are liked and know that it is because they treat the staff well. The regulars that are assholes and cheapskates you remember and hate. You talk about them behind their backs with your co-workers and laugh at them and what losers they are. Everyone knows and hates them, even though nobody will ever treat them with anything other than courtesy. They only think they are getting good service. They are clueless. The regulars that are assholes and tip well you put up with but say nasty things about to your co-workers. They may or may not know they are assholes. The ones who are aware are better because they at least pay for the privelege. They get decent service only because they tip well. The vast majority of customers never cross your mind again once you pocket the tip.
• AbbieNormal

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  18 years ago

  Almost forgot; "do they get turned on?" Only for large bills. Seriously, I don't doubt that there are some who get a bit of a thrill out of it on occasion. The exhibitionism, the ability to tease men mercilessly and then walk away, the whole "naughtiness" factor are bound to get some worked up on occasion. I've seen and experienced firsthand evidence. For the most part I'd guess no.
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  Dancers dance for money. When the money is good they like their jobs. When they have a bad night or some A-hole gives them a hard time they hate their jobs. I'm sure there are ladies out there who try to convince themselves that they do it for artistic self-expression but just ask them if they would do it for free. I have a lot of favs and they all say the same thing: They would rather spend time with a nice guy than with a jerk. They appreciate the guys who spend on them, treat them like human beings and don't ask them out all the time. That being said, most of them won't walk away from a jerk with money in his hand either.
• chitownlawyer

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  18 years ago

  "my favorite tells me she likes her job one day, then tells me it sucks another, and same back and forth about her customers." Funny, that's how I feel after having practiced law for the last twenty years. I suspect it is how most people, including dancers, feel about their jobs. However, I don't think that dancers get sexually aroused by their work, anymore than doctors get sexually aroused when they examine naked patients, or any more than I really get mad or hold a grudge after a heated trial against a colleague. In the words of the bent-nose crowd, "It's business, not personal.".
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  My dad was a lifetime print journalist. He simply HATED the PR crowd, no matter who, no matter how nice a guy or gal, no matter how responsible or non-shyster. I would have thought he could interact, after work, like the defense sdhould interact with the prosecution after a trial, as convivial adversaries. But no, he interacted as cops would interact iwth criminals, as a prig on the moral high ground. I portion of that priggishness has come through to me, by which I find it hard to accept work that isn't "morally pure" and a "true representation of my character and aspirations" etc. etc. By this, I think I can understand, how some dancers can easily put on a happy face about their jobs, but other dancers get all wrought up in snits. Emotional snits are a thing some people are more prone to than others.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Strippers like the money and the flexibility. Some like the self-expression and rebellion, some not so much. Most of them hate the nudity and contact, but they do what they have to do. Most of them are indifferent about their customers, or hate the worst of them. Some might get turned on by their work, but not by their customers.
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  For the record, I've had girls get excited-and wet- while they where dancing for me. I've had girls have orgasms in the VIP room. It's part of nature. It doesn't happen all the time-not even close-and it doesn't mean she likes her job, just whatever it is that you are doing to her.
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  Chandler: You and FONDL are helping me make my point. Thanks.