How not to turn on a customer.

If its true, I feel bad for her, but you can't guilt someone into a dance. If it is SS that is a new low. Or maybe she is a true newbie and didn't know how to start up a conversation.

reminds me of something that happened to me last summer. i stopped in a club i didn't like basicly out of desperation because nothing was going on in a couple other clubs i visited.
there was this dancer on stage that didn't look bad under the subdued stage lighting so i went up and tipped her. she asked me if i wanted a dance and i said ok stop by when you get done.
so she comes over after her set and in the more pronounced lighting away from the stage i started thinking that i made a mistake. the killer (no pun intended) came when she told me that she was dancing because her hubby was killed in a home invasion drug ripoff. i remembered the story in the news, two thieves broke into a home wanting to ripoff two drug dealers that lived there. things got crazy and one of the thieves and one of the dealers (her hubby) were killed in the ensuing fight/shoot out.
when i found out who she was i really didn't want anything to do with her but instead of just coming out and saying it i stalled her awhile. she was starting to pressure me because some other customers walked in so i told her to take care of them first. i split about a minute after she walked away, lol

Troop--You literally dodged a bullet. We can understand that her loss was a personal tragedy, but she may have also been part of that life. You don't want to be around when those thugs come looking for her.

DEtroit dancers start by talking about the "baby daddy" who lost his job and can't or won't pay child support. In the local economy, that is probably true, but I didn't need to hear it. I don't go to clubs to be depressed by dancers tales of woe and misery.

A current favorite of mine got caught up in a mess with LE. She was with a "friend" and the friend wanted her to give a ride to a guy she knew. As the time progress the IDIOT guy stole policeman's gun, somehow. My fave was lucky that she got out clean and told the truth. Problem was/is, that the guy and his brother want her to keep quite. Nothing in court or anything so far, but I sure worry about her.

In my young days, I had a way of shriveling, that the second some stripper told me a hard luck story, she'd see the answer in my eyes, and that was that, without another word.

Once in the late 1990's, I was at a club and was talking to a stripper. Suddenly, she opens her heart and unburdens, not SS, real life stuff about some trouble in her family. She wasn't getting along with siblings, uncle found out that she was a stripper-and he wanted tail, and her parents were distraught about the death of her grandfather. Then, just as suddenly, she says "I'm supposed to be listening to you", and she clams up. I couldn't get her to open up again. As a writer, I was intrigued and wanted to know more. Alas.

A few times in the past decade, I've instantly dismissed those with hard luck stories. With that said, I did once give 100, unearned, to a stripper just before Hurricane Ike hit town. I could more than spare it, so it was okay.

Shadowcat, I can't believe that wouldn't give you an instant hard-on.

On the other hand, when Opportunity knocks, I'll usually at least listen. What's so wrong with listening to a few minutes of a hard luck story compared to the possibility of halfway decent service for a good price?

The hardluck story, true or not, is just a ploy for a big tip.

My husband died. This was a couple years back and it was in an car accident. He was 24 at the time. We had no children,thank goodness.This is a true story btw. There is no way I'd say that to anyone in the club though. I just think its too depressing and the club is no place for a reality like that. I have had a couple customers try to drag my past and personal life out of me. I have one customer that just hammers me constantly with questions about if I have kids, am I married, do I want to be married, do I date, etc.. I finally told him about my ex. Then he wanted the whole story. He still gets a shitload of dances. I can't figure it out.

25,

Here is my take...

My ATF and I really have no "secrets" between us. From others, yes. But then, we do not have a "typical" dancer/customer relationship. I do believe a relationship can evolve beyond the dancer/customer level. Those should be relatively rare times.

Yes clubber, it does happen. gridget has evolved into my best friend. her words "with stripper benefits". There are a dozen TUSCLers that have met her and know I speak the truth.

Clubber and Shadow are fortunate to have developed true friendhips with ATFs. I don't have the facts, but I can guess that the relatiohship developed over time and was not prompted or forced by a hard luck story. That's good. Having a dancer drop a hard luck story on you on first meeting strikes me as a ploy. Just like a customer trying to pry private information from Stilleto to further his private agenda.

@Clubber, shadowcat, superdude-
I appreciate your take. I'm not really close to this particular customer but he would like us to be closer. He doesn't come in the club unless I'm there usually. I really worry about giving into his questioning. Even though he seems to feed off the information, I'm afraid its just too real for the club and I will eventually lose him as a customer.
I try to preserve my relationships with my good customers and I like to give them what they ask for. When they ask me to get real with them, though, I'm not sure they're going to want what they're going to get.

I try to limit the personal talk, nothing good can come of it. Stripper drama has little real life value. Just yesterday a stripper came up and asked me for a dance because she had a bill due and they were calling her cell for collection. She also mentioned that she had the money to pay the bill just the day before but went shopping and spent it. Two types of dances I try to avoid "I need money" dance and "I have never danced before".
Also while I'm on a rant, please (dancer) stop asking what I do for a living and what my hobbies are, your my hobbie and I will never be able to explain what I do for a living.

I don't care for strippers that do it chase they NEED the money ...or to say I got out of the Saving Strippers business. I only keep contact with those that live on thier own, pay thier bills, and handle thier drugs. If I get a whiff of hustle or con, I'm done... Now I haven't known a stripper more than a few months. Needless to say, if a girl kept her shit together for several months, then something came up, I'd probably help. But, I'll cross that bridge when I get there...

fucking auto correct. BECAUSE not chase*

I guess I'm the only low-life, advantage seeming scum who sees complaints about money as a *good* thing. I'll admit the "dead husband" thing might give me pause, but the rest of it? Bring it on.

It sounds like a good system. Prob cheaper too! But I'm in management and tell people what to do on a daily basis. So when I relax, I like a confident stripper to tell ME what to do (minus S&M dom shit I don't care to go that far!), not some sob story I have to take care of, I can get GF if I want that.

Worst we have ever had was the stripper in WI who told us about how she got shit-faced drunk the weekend before and woke up with her head in her two-year-old son's potty chair. Ugh! Aint that sexy!

Shadowcat,

I got the same story from a gal in Myrtle Beach, who said she was visiting from Columbia PP (same owner as the MB club). When I got the story, it wasn't her first night, but it WAS Iraq.

More than likely the girl was telling a sob story, but if her husband really died, it was far more likely from a drug deal gone bad or drunk driving. In my experience, I think I have met only one stripper whose SO was in the military and thousands whose SO's were certified losers. I think a women who marry patriots are on a higher plane than your average stripper. Plus, there are survivor benefits for widows of soldiers. I am not one to give to charities, but I do make donations to CFSRF which helps children of fallen soldiers go to college and helps families living with a disabled veteran. What is a few hundred or a few thousand dollars to a good cause when you'd be otherwise wasting it on some stripper that is gonna spend the money on tattoos, drugs, and clothes?

Wow Sinclair, you are the absolute first on this website to make my asshole list. Ignore :)

Fantasy world. Not reality world. The girls are often quite quick to invoke that card; we customers should, too.

Stiletto: Use the ignore list. It is the only way that the rest of us can keep you from leaving the site. We need your input.

bumrubber: just to set the record straight. I heard that rumor, two years ago, that PP(Ken Wood)had bought a place in Myrtle Beach. Not true. It is not on their web site and I would have heard about it, if it was true. I did just hear that he bought a club in Philly. We'll see if that turns out to be the truth.

I remember I agreed to get a lap dance from a dancer I just met. We walked back to the lap dance room. She got on top of me and said we'll wait for the next song to start. It turned out to be a long song. She told me she was a new dancer and just starting out. Then she acted like since I agreed to get a dance the club is like a dating place. She quickly told me how she was recently divorced a few months ago and that papers would be signed soon. She has 3 kids, ages 3, 5 and 7 and blah, blah, a whole lot more details about her personal life than I ever cared for all before she starts her lap dance for me. After making me think about her kids, I was turned off during the lap dance. I would have preferred she tell me all about her personal life after the lap dance instead of right before she starts. I did not even ask a single question about her personal life. I definitely agreed with her when she said she was new to dancing.

I guess the first clue should have been when I asked what her name was and she told me her real name is xyz and her stage name at the club was yzx. A few other dancers have said something similar so I didn't pick up on that clue to start with. I don't know why some dancers tell me supposedly their real name when I first meet. I have enough trouble remembering a few names of new people I met.

Stiletto - We are with you on this one. It's hard to tell what he wants. Could be he is just looking for a connection, something to make him feel that you trust/like him more than your other customers if you will open up to him. Could be, like me, that he is gathering some info for another purpose (I am writing erotic fiction but I am always upfront about with the dancer about why I am asking something before she answers) or who the heck knows. Given your line of work and all the weirdos out there, I would not tell him anything too personal! The hours you work leave you more vulnerable than a woman working 9-5 and it only takes one jerk to be sorry.

We do, as a couple, like chatting with the entertainer beforehand. We don't, however, mention our six kids or want to hear about the dancers. For one reason, I prefer to tell myself the reason you all look so damn good is that you did not have kids! LOL

Oh, that was mrs m00tpoint in case no one figured it out :-)