Have your tastes changed?

16 comments

• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  Ah yes, the "misinterpreted all around" problem. :) I've gotten myself into trouble over that one several times -- work colleague asks me to lunch to discuss a forthcoming project; we go, and discuss; later and totally unpredictably she goes ballistic because I didn't "respect her" after our "intimate" interaction and instead treated her "like all the other women." Silly me, I thought she wanted to discuss a forthcoming WORK project over lunch. She thought we were dating. This happens to me in several varieties, and quite often. I've learned (to some degree) to manage my propensities. One thing I do to my own detriment, is respect the opinions and attitudes of fat ugly middle-aged single female co-workers. I actually listen to them, treat them with respect, act like I can work with them convivially. This has the unfortunate effect of leading them on. So I have learned to defuse their fantasies early. Another thing that has happened to me regularly, is that girls have gotten pissed off at me for the fact that I "date raped" them or was "sexist" in some other physical way, when we HAD NOT EVER TOUCHED ONE ANOTHER. The report would get around (and I have previously written up the story of getting my name on the "bad boys" list in the women's restroom) that I was the evil guy who abuses girls. Once, my university's sexual harrassment ombudsperson called me, out of the blue, to level accusations against me. And these were accusations that the WOMEN themselves had not overtly leveled against me -- the ombudsperson was just fishing for prosecutions. And of all the women involved, only one was even KNOWN to me; the rest were acquaintances of acquaintances, people whom I had never even SPOKEN to, much less tried to kiss, or date-raped, or whatever. I don't exactly know why I get these reactions from women. I somehow twig their "lets level polical correctness on him to an extreme degree." I know that for some time men have been getting the "ball busting" treatment, especially on college campuses, but evidently I twig a greater amount of evil from certain females than other men do. That, or I just whine about the same treatment more. :) Anyway, what does this have to do with strippers? Well, my "tastes" in strippers have only increased. I don't imagine for a minute that I have 'real" connection with those people whom I meet in Platinum Pussy or T.G.I.Titties, but at least I know they won't play that politically-correct game. I think I'm damaged -- an unhappy person with "issues" about intimacy with women, because of the hideous treatment I received (and didn't even know I was receiving) at the hands of the young women with whom I had to interact during my sexually formative years. The trips to a strip club are an escape. Or at least, I wish them to be. They aren't, always. Pushier women have called over a bouncer just because I didn't want a dance with them. That reminds me of the political correctness too much. Maybe that's why I'm so bad at handling pushy dancers and poor customer service -- it reminds me too much of the ball-busting that I'm there to escape.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chitown, good points all. I don't focus on women who are strippers, but I do find strippers to be interesting because they are so different. And I enjoy meeting young attractive women in an intimate environment and where else can an old guy like me do that? I've always had a lot of female friends and still do, but unfortunately for some reason our society (and my wife) discourages spending much time together. If I asked one of my older female friends to have dinner with me it would be misinterpreteed all around. Spending time with a stripper (or getting a massage from a pretty therapist) is just easier.
• chitownlawyer

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  18 years ago

  FONDL, I don't doubt the sincerity of your interest in strippers as people, and that is probably an admirable characteristic to which I should aspire. But, if that is your principal interest, why do you focus on women who are strippers (if in fact you do...perhaps you draw from a broader pool that I don't know about because of the limted common interests on this board). If your prinicipal interest in women is their inner being (more "inner" than 5-7 inches, I mean), then why not get to know women in churches, bars, historical/genealogical societies, mixed athletic leagues, etc? One of the deepest interpersonal relationships I ever had with a woman involved one of my professors at Major Big Ten State University when I was in my early twenties and she was in her mid sixties. Obviously, there was nothing physical about it, but we clicked very well, in sort of a "Harold and Maude" way. For myself, I think that there are plenty of interesting, challenging women anywhere women are found. Many are my colleagues, although I wouldn't necessarily want to sleep with them. The unique thing that strippers bring to the table is that they are naked, and usually young and hot, and that's what I focus on.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  I knew a few strippers before I ever went to a strip club. I always knew them as girls with a wild streak. I still do. Even the nice ones eventually reveal it. As for getting to know them in the club, I went through a period early on, after my initial period of total wonderment at lap dancing, where I thought it was the coolest thing that I could hang out and have normal conversations with strippers. Before long, however, I realized it wasn't much different from hanging out anywhere, except the conversation usually wasn't as good, and it was eating up my time in the club. I've since found that I have more fun with the kind of flirting and sexual role playing that isn't quite so easy to come by anywhere but in a strip club.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  The reason I like strippers younger as I get older is my cumulative exposure to so many naked girls over the years and my increased sensitivity to certain physical and personality traits. When I started going to strip clubs, I wasn't very good at judging their ages. I simply hadn't seen that many naked girls in full view up until then, so they all looked pretty good to me in a strip club environment. Now, I'm at the other extreme - hypercritical of flaws in the female physique that come with age (and more appreciative of the advantages of youth). Not that I'm intolerant of the tiniest defect, but I notice. Early on, I was more tolerant of stripper "pros". I guess I just accepted it as a given. Now, I'm much quicker to detect not just a hardened, lifer attitude but the slightest hint of a smooth manipulativeness that comes with experience and polish, even when it's well-intentioned. I find the open-mindedness and exhuberance of younger girls - including a bit of awkwardness - more refreshing. Another possibile reason is that a greater difference in age makes serious dating less likely, taking away any pressure from that consideration. It might make me feel more free to let my hair down. Of course, there's always non-serious dating....
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  FONDL: I very much enjoy (require?) the experience of "getting to know them as people" as well. I'm a weird mix-up, of requirements that she be girlish and NOT tell me about the negatives in her life, or the things that might ruin the fantasy that I can actually be interesting to her (like, DO NOT tell me how great your fiance is!); and on the other hand, of wanting a "deep human" connection with a girl. I like to think of them as "friends for hire," in wihich their "friendliness" is something *I* get to judge on the basis of whatever criteria I happen to feel are necessary at the moment. Of course, a major portion of those criteria is generally sexiness, so maybe all I want is a sex object, after all! :)
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I just thought of one other change. I used to be somewhat in awe of strippers and thought of them as some special group of people. But after getting to know several strippers really well, I realized that they're just like anyone else, they just happen to work in a job that requires them to take their clothes off and flirt. Thinking of them more as people than dancers has had an impact on the type girl I seek out in a club and how I treat them, I'm more interested in finding nice girls and learning about them as people, and I'm less interested in treating them as sex objects. Which I think makes me somewhat unique here.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, I agree with you, this board has helped to change and clarify some of my views too. And I have also experienced the same sort of changes that Chitown mentions - eg. as I've grown older the dancers who I prefer have become younger. I wonder why that is?
• chitownlawyer

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  18 years ago

  Only as my tastes in women overall (ie., in real life) have also changed. In my twenties, I liked brunette Barbie dolls. In my thirties, I was attracted to women in their early forties--what we would now call the MILF look. Now, in my forties, I am attracted to flat/athletically built dark-haired girls from 18-25.
• DandyDan

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  18 years ago

  I'd have to say my tastes in clubs has changed, because in the beginning, I was just simply happy to go to a strip club. Then I discovered a club with lapdances, and then I discovered clubs where one can get extras, or nude lapdances, or any number of such things one gets at strip clubs. As for my tastes in dancers, that's been all over the charts and more or less has stayed that way. The one thing they all had in common is they all seemed fun, at least at the time.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Another reason my tastes have changed is this and other strip club boards. Exchanging opinions with other clubgoers, and just the way writing about it makes me examine and clarify my attitudes - it's hard to picture what the strip club experience would be like without that background. As for the types of girls I favor or the clubs I enjoy, I can't point to exactly where the net has made a difference, but it's bound to have had an impact.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I think my tastes have changed largely because the novelty of something new has worn off. When I first started going to clubs both the clubs and the girls were pretty seedy, and that was fun because it was so different. But once the novelty wore off I got tired of that and moved upscale as clubs and dancers did too. Then I discovered nude clubs and after that LDs, and then high contact and then extras, and each had a strong appeal for at first because of the novelty. But I got to the point where I didn't especially like the full nude clubs anymore (too crude) and later to the point where I didn't think most LDs or extras were worth the money. Now I'd just as soon go to a friendly neighborhood topless place where you can sit and talk to a young interesting girl-next-door type dancer without spending a lot of money, and if's she's really appealing maybe an medium-contact LD or two. Nothing beyond that really interests me anymore. I'd rather go get a good massage from a pretty girl.
• DougS

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  18 years ago

  I wouldn't say that my tastes have changed TOO much. I STILL go for the thin/athletic girls with the long, silky hair, etc. But what I HAVE noticed is that the older that I get, the younger I like the girls (err... not pedo stuff, but I'd take an 18 yr old over a 25 yr old any day!).
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  Yes. My first strip-club lap dances were from a typical over-enhanced slightly stocky blonde with ditzy bedroom eyes and a childish giggle. She was the prototypical Pam Anderson type. I moved on to the sultry ethnic types, then settled recently on younger-looking lithe, supple, skinny all natural causcasian women. Seems like my tastes have changed. I started with a few tame lappers. Then I quickly moved to full service only. Then I realized the benefits of lappers, and decided I liked them best when they led to full service. Then I got to where I received full service at one type of establishment and lappers at another. Nowadays I use lappers as a warm-up to full service. Seems like my tastes haven't changed much.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  My tastes changed a lot in my first year or two of clubbing. Since then, not so much. Back then, I preferred strippers with big tits who were overall more curvy, more aggressive and probably older. Then, I went through a phase where I absolutely hated all boob jobs after a fave got them. I've since learned to overlook them. At first, I didn't much mind noisy clubs with annoying DJs and a lot of dumb gimmicks, because I thought that just came with the territory. I learned better. I've always been open minded about levels of clubs. I prefer dives, but I can enjoy an upscale club if the trappings aren't too intrusive and the dances are smokin'. The other big change is that, a few years into my clubbing, I started going to a regular club. I went about twice a week for 2 or 3 years and got heavily involved with picking up and dating the strippers. Then, I burned out on that and gave up clubs for a few years. Nowadays, I go about twice a month, go to different clubs, and hardly ever get involved with the girls. So, although I never consciously favored girls who were more available, I inevitably gravitated towards them. Anymore, I truly couldn't care less. Although I like strippers whose company I enjoy (Duh!), I've always taken companionship and conversation as a by-product, not a goal, and at some point, too much of a distraction. My main interest is, and always has been, sexual thrills.
• parodyman-->

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  18 years ago

  THE JEFFERY DAMHER ANSWER: "No, they still taste just fine with a good slathering og BB-Q Sauce!" THE SERIOUS ANSWER: Yes. Type of dancer, from skinny blonde to brunette with a more Bettie Page type look.