BAD Asses!?

It is said that women "marry their fathers". In high school I was considered a nerd because I was an intellectual, focused on grades and future, capable of more than monosyllabic utterances, unlike my "peers" who bought their research papers and chased pussy endlessly. A trend became apparent-dumb cheerleader marries dumb jock, shoots out multiple kids. From time to time a genetic mutation occurs-a nerd.

That's unfair to all cheerleaders. "Bambi" starts dance class at age 4 and gymnastics a couple of years later. She's a cheerleader in middle school and high school. Her parents can afford to send her to college on an Mrs. Degree. The other non bambis, who became a cheerleader on looks alone and comes from a middle class or working class family, goes into panic mode the minute the last football game is over. She gets a dumb jock or loser to get her pregnant, and this is the first in a series of really dumb choices.

Strippers have trouble winning court cases-even when they're rape victims and the evidence is overwhelming. Juries just don't buy "I was walking from my car to my apartment", to which the defense attorney counters "At 2:45 a.m. ? What were you doing out at 2:45 ? Isn't it possible you promised my client a little something something, and you reneged, and became violent, forcing my client to defend himself ?"

Of course the jury is hypocritical ruling against her, as more than 90 percent have one form or another of porn at home. It would be a lot easier on everyone if we just had legalized bordellos with required security.

Instead, we have institutionalized hypocracy. The reason women of today shave their legs is because of 19th century Parisienne prostitutes. Women of today shave their twats because porn stars did it first, and as we speak, pole dancing is now mainstream exercise. And despite all of this, sex workers are looked down on, even though sex workers have created the grooming and mating habits of the modern female.

Assortative mating. (Look it up.)

You have a point Dougster.

i think for the most part bad asses is the wrong term.
losers, bums, thugs seems more apt.

just last night i was in a local bar tying one on. when i walked in there was this stunning lighter skin mixed(?) black girl outside talking to a couple black guys. one of them had loser written all over him. he was obviously someone that didn't work and scams/robs people or deals drugs to get by. he was dressed shabbily and was wearing a friggin wash cloth on his head which i later saw him using to wipe his sweat off of his face and neck when they came into the bar. the black girl was tall thin with long legs and model looks and imo could choose pretty much any man that she wanted. i was sitting at the bar stealing glances at her every chance i got as she sat with the loser and thinking of how much i wanted to fuck her and that i would gladly pay for the chance and i'm sure many other guys in the bar were thinking the same thing.
after she left with the loser i asked my friend who was tending bar about them and she told me that the loser was her boyfriend. unfreakingbelieveable!

I agree troop, what a FUCKING waste!
Why was she with this "person"? We can only guess. I suppose.

I would think women, in general, that find themselves with losers,have self esteem issues. When I was in high school I dated jerks. When I was in college, I had my fair share of men that probably weren't headed anywhere in life. Strangely, since I've become a dancer, I've dated nothing but nice young men with good jobs. If you're a happy attractive women with high self esteem, dancer or not, you can usually attract winners. A lot of dancers just don't set high enough standards.....or they're fu**ing crazy and no normal guy will touch them.

THX for a woman's view on this. I agree with you Stiletto25, that bad self-esteem is playing a big role.

I've met some strippers' boyfriends and husbands, and they were more losers than bad asses. No jobs, no ambitions, no intellect. I'm amazed that some truly beautiful dancers put up with these guys. I know a great looking dancer who should have no trouble getting a handsome successful husband but instead lives with an unemployed boyfriend who doesn't even treat her nicely.

jackslash these boyfriends and husbands you met must have some intellect, in that they seem to know precisely what buttons to push on their Dancer "significant others" to keep them around. If this one "significant other" is mistreating the Dancer, then his is a BAD ASS in my eyes.

I don't understand dancers.

I don't understand women.

I work in a world replete with 'bad ass' guys most of whom seem to have no trouble finding non-stripper female companionship. I think that if I made a serious effort even an old, formerly 'bad ass', guy like me could forge some sort of relationship with a woman.

I just got a nice pm from someone on this subject. I answered his question and I told him that my answer was too complex for this discussion board but I feel like I should say it anyway.

Dancing is a lonely profession. You sleep when everyone's awake and work when everyone's asleep. People are judgemental and harsh in the outside world so you lie about what you do. You are isolated.You meet awesome, successful guys but guess what? You don't want relationships with them. You don't want to, as a dancer, be accountable to someone. An accomplished guy doesn't want to take a stripper home to mom and dad. He will eventually want you out of that lifestyle before you're ready.
So guess what you do, being a lonely dancer who doesn't want to change? You go for a loser. A warm body. You know he'll be home waiting for you after work. You know he'll answer that cell phone you bought him if he's not. why? Cuz his pathetic ass wants your money.
I don't condone this but I see it all the time. And the #1 reason...Loneliness

Why wouldn't a dancer want to quit? She found an awesome guy who wants to take care of her? Answer..addiction
I don't smoke or do drugs. I don't drink. But I can't stay out of a stripclub for very long. I'm addicted.
There was a club in Seattle, Ricks, that was shut down. I used to work there. I, to this day, can still smell what Ricks smelled like walking in the front door. It elevates my blood pressure. I have a physical reaction when I think of this smell, even four years later. It's addicting.
I am good at my job. I mean, really good. The money is addicting. I remember the first time I took home $2000 on a shift in Seattle. I remember driving home on the 405 screaming "Holy shit" and laughing.
I remember getting my first place and my car. After my housewarming party, most of my friends never spoke to me again. They couldn't fathom what I was acquiring from stripping. It was literally too close for comfort.

So here I am: pretty, smart, talented, and on Tuscl at 2am, curing the loneliness and keeping all potential loser boyfriends away.

Do successful men, or nerds on the success track, want to marry strippers? Do strippers have self esteem issues that make them feel that they have to settle for what's available in the loser pool? Some guys factor in the marriage decision such things as loyalty, suitable mother, corporate wife, abillity to undestand how business cycles effect family economics as well as companionship, sex and fun. Strippers know this and know that they don't want to live the straight life. So what's left?

Stiletto, that's a great post. Your dancer perspective adds a lot to the discussions.

Stiletto, your last could have been written by my current favorite, albeit perhaps not as evocatively. We've had variants of that conversation a number of times over the last several months.

Well said.

Thank you Stiletto for your honesty.

@stiletto25 - ahhhh, do you need a hug?

I have met a couple of my dancers "boyfriends" by accident. These are my impressions:

1. They don't care that their girlfriend takes off her clothes for other men. Or that she works in a sexual oriented business where other men constantly want to have sex with her and sometimes she does.

2. They think of their girlfriends as sex objects and trophies.

3. They are often ultimate fighters, street fighters, or just tough guys in general, with a "bad ass" attitude.

4. They don't have normal relationships with women. They are users. And so they pick dancers or women who would be dancers. The sexual rush is addicting to them.

In my opinion, it is impossible to have a normal relationship with a dancer. As soon as you forge that close bond with them, sharing love, sex, dreams, conversations, etc. you find out that they fucked a high-roller client in the vip last night.

So yea, dancers boyfriends tend to be a different breed of "I don't give a fuck" bad-ass.

I'm glad everyone liked my post. I appreciate the response.

@Steve229- Only a hug? I'm kidding

GREAT contribution as always, Stilleto.

@pabloantonio: I have experienced your #1-4 in my research as well. Very insightful, although I don't agree with your stance that it is impossible to have a normal relationship with a dancer. I will qualify that by saying many clubs are pastie, air dance, or heavily monitored. I believe you could date a day shifter that works in a place like that and not be too jealous.

Then again you see married porn stars, too. I guess it depends on your definition of normal.

Stiletto25',

Wow! What a thoughtful post. Strangely enough, I understand your addiction. I, too, am an addict. I am addicted to my work life as you are to yours. I had a brief 2-year retirement and was sorely bored. I am back doing what I know best and I am much happier.

Good luck dealing with your addiction.

Stiletto - Those "friends" were not true friends because if they were, what you do for a living would not have an impact on the friendship. If someone is selling drugs or a hitman or something obviously that would be different. Thanks for all your posts, they truly enlighten the conversation.

If work is your life farmerart, then GO for IT!

Stiletto has opened our minds to new understanding.

Deep down inside Dancers are no different than Us. A human with needs & feelings to be expressed & met. They are perhaps a little more fragile &/or scared. I can identify with that human condition.

I think we all can Alucard.

There have been studies linking money earned to having the same effect on the brain as cocaine. "[T]he same area that lights up when you take cocaine, the same area that lights up when you win a lot of money." [1]

I am not a stripper, but I do make a lot of money (even now) and completely understand the addictive nature towards it.

A lot of people don't understand it cuz, frankly, they don't make a lot of money. Even in the beginning I didn't understand what was going on. In a way, I think I was lucky my father was an alcoholic, because while he used a chemical to fire up his brain, I could see very similar social habits and choices being made on my part.

I could not put my finger on it then like these recent studies do now , but they certainly help to understand it better.

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[1] http://www.asrn.org/journal-advanced-pra…

@Alucard: Not everyone is the same. There are psychopaths, people with deep problems, addictions that will put everyone (including their kids) to the side... a lot of "normal" jobs are filled with people that will not tolerate that bullshit. But clubs do. Something to remember.

degol:

"Money as cocaine"? I have never thought of the stuff exactly that way. The stuff is important to me but more as a way of 'keeping score'. I don't get any particular buzz spending money for my personal enjoyment but in business, as I watch the cash accumulate from my efforts I do get a serious buzz. I am a competitive son of a bitch in business. Money shows who are the winners in the big game.

Thanks again to people who responded to my post. Thanks to Alucard for creating a great thread.

It has been something in my mind for a little while & thought I'd like to know what my fellow TUSCL mates thought. With Stiletto25's honesty this question has certainly been explored pretty well thus far!

Stiletto... thanks for the post on Loneliness. Truley appreciate your insight. Don't give up on nice guys.

25,

I will agree with you on many points, but I've never known a dancer that was "addicted" to the profession. I know many that are addicted to the money, the freedom to work whenever, etc. Granted, I am sure you have known many times more dancers than I have, but you have also known them from the "other side".

I don't know why, but I seem to have the ability to really get dancers to talk, and not SS. Perhaps it is that I am pretty easy going, not out to jump every dancers bones, and can converse on most any topic. Whatever the reason(S) they will talk with me and share things they don't with others.

My ex asked me if I'd marry one of these stripper? I said, 'Yes.' 'The burden of jealousy would be on me, and that would be a relief, [you jelous miserable cunt].'

I thought the last part but didn't say it.

women, mainly the younger ones (between 18-25 years of age), whether they are dancers or not, definitely prefer "bad asses" or "asshole" type guys. at least most of them do. and i really don't see how anyone could disagree.

i'm in my mid twenties, so i see this all the time amongst the women that i interact with at school and at work. i have co-workers that would love to take these cute gals out for lunch, and not expect anything in return,- they'd just enjoy the company of the girl. but females usually don't look at these guys- they tend to find them "boring" or whatever.

As far as the job, it's a turn on for me, I like music, sex, drugs, and show business! As long as the dancers' and my own limits match and she never crosses them willingly, unwillingly she is upset and the bouncer does his job accordingly, she enjoys her job as much as I do and she has an exit strategy, then I am fine with it and won't pressure her to quit before she's ready.

And as far as friends and family, I've so far introduced one stripper to my parents. I am a cocky asshole to them and feel if they want to see me they need to accept every decision I make. They were surprised at how 'normal' she was. With my brothers, cousins, and friends, they're welcome to talk about her, and buy dances from her... but go easy on the jokes or your likely to get punches! So far they've all been respectful, and some have even gone after the ones I left. But all in all it's a joke to them, yet they handle it well.

Granted this is all hypothetical. I've yet to have a relationship with a stripper last over a few months and I don't really feel I know any of them that well.

Reason the relationships ended: increase in drug use/money problems, started lieing, wild mood swings, and twice they called it quits/got bored.

The one that I introduced to my parents left me because she got bored. I saw nothing wrong with her, she was quite responsible! Maybe I'll get another shot with her one day...