I think I got my ATF in trouble, possibly fired

deepest
Was at a club in IL a few days ago, one with strict rules when it comes to the ladies, touching is almost a no no it seems can only keep hands on waist, maybe some leg touching if lucky. My ATF works here and she knew I was gonna be there, we text back and forth. When I got there I could tell she had a few drinks maybe too many and when she finally came over to me, she climbed on top of me and started giving me a grind at the table we were at, and I thought well this is different. Next thing I know there is some really deep kissing going on and I thought for sure a bouncer would be over to kick my ass out but I totally went with it anyway, it was fun. Eventually one of the club managers came over and told the dancer that we had to go to the VIP or Champagne room.

We went to the VIP for almost an hour and there was more kissing and touching going on in places than there should have been, use your imagination. Someone came in and told the dancer she was being loud and she got a warning for it. We finished and I gave her a good tip and I was going to buy her a drink, they would not serve any more to her. We go back to my table and about a minute later and one of the managers told her to come to the back with her and that was the last I saw of her. I even tipped the waitress that was serving me to go check on her, the waitress said she would be right out but she never showed, I finished up my drink and left.

On my way home I texted her and called, nothing. I really just wanted to know if she was alright and got home safely, I at least hope these morons called her a cab home cause she should not have driven home. I do feel guilty in a sense cause I know what the rules are and I should not have pushed it (don't attack me for that guys) I always have so much fun with her, none of this would have been necessary anyway. But her lack of response to me is concerning, either she wants to be left alone for a while or is totally telling me to fuck off with her lack of response. I tried yesterday one last time to call and text, but I fear the worst that it might be over, and I really do feel terrible if i caused her to get fired and even wish that I did not go that day, maybe things would have been different or maybe the same result would have occurred with someone else, I really don't know.

Sorry for the damn novel here, but what do u guys and gals think...is it over/should I not even bother to try again to get it touch with her and leave her alone, should I give it a few more days, thoughts anybody, any advice here would be great or even someone with a similar experience. Thanks :)

27 comments

Latest

Stiletto25
13 years ago
My first thought is that the manager called her back there to sober up. It's no use talking to a wasted person, so I've seen many managers make girls sober up in the office, then talk to them after.
Waitresses are buffers. It's her job to come out and tell you she'll be right out. It's possible she sobered up and was too embarrassed to show her face again for the night.
As for getting fired, its possible, but I would think if she were fired, that it wasn't her first indiscretion. Strip club managers usually like their girls and want them to do well. They also understand the business. They would probably give her a warning. Now if this is her third warning, though, she could have been fired.
Don't call her anymore. Wait for her to call you. Dancers know how to get in touch with customers. She will come.around.
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
And if you're telling the truth, it sounds like she's as responsible as you are in this case, so don't beat yourself up too much over it.
Rod8432
13 years ago
Girls get "fired" from SCs for rules infractions all the time. They usually pop up somewhere else for a short while and return in back to their original club. I've seen this many times with many girls. I wouldn't worry about it. She's responsible for setting the pace and ensuring you both stay within bounds. You simply went with what was offered/allowed, as most of the others of us here would do, as well. If it's on the menu, who are we to say no?
Rod8432
13 years ago
And regarding what happened to her afterward, I wouldn't read too much into her non-responsiveness. I've been "dropped" before and have generally found no correlation between my enjoyment in the club and a dancer's regularity in communications before or later. She may be electing to remain incommunicado for a number of reasons (e.g., angry boyfriend, embarrassment, being temporarily "fired" from the club, etc.), and just as easily decide to reconnect one day. You've reached out numerous times, so she knows you're there.
rickdugan
13 years ago
Sounds like you got her fired. What were you thinking? Couldn't you see that she was intoxicated and acting irresponsibly? You took advantage of her, period, and now she's going to pay the price.

And you know what's even worse? You didn't even bother to write a review of the the visit - or any club reviews at all for that matter.
rh48hr
13 years ago
Don't sweat it, when she's ready, she will get in contact w/you.
3LeggedMan
13 years ago
Rick, I thought like you did - looked for his review! IL is loaded with these minimal-contact clubs. OP needs to know that limits are the responsibility of the dancer, and according to his novel, she was the one pushing the envelope. She'll be OK.
SuperDude
13 years ago
Is her misconduct your responsibility? Is her intoxication your responsibility? No.
GoVikings
13 years ago
i agree with what georgmicrodong said.

it might have been partly your fault, because you could clearly see she was drunk. but at the same time, she should have been more responsible with her actions while at work.

i mean, damn, she is your ATF, of course you're going to go along with it, if she comes onto you the way she did.
rickdugan
13 years ago
Sure deepest, listen to these guys and rationalize it. Hopefully you'll sleep better tonight.

I wonder how she's sleeping now that she's lost her job? How is she paying her rent? Does she have kids to support? What will she do now that she is likely black balled in the clubs in Chicago?

She trusted you and you repay her by jeopardizing her livelihood. Because of your reckless actions, she may even be forced to prostitute herself in order to support herself and her little ones.

But sleep well tonight my friend. After all, how else could you be expected to act?
shadowcat
13 years ago
Let me play this country song backwards. She sobers up, gets her job back, finds her cell phone and her customer comes back to her.
gatorfan
13 years ago
I doubt you're her ATF now
deepest
13 years ago
with all the cameras in this club and in the vip booths I am just so surprised I did not get thrown out....I know that the rules have not changed, so were they asleep at the wheel or what..in fact i was so close to asking her about OTC but she was so wasted that she probably would have forgotten that I asked her a minute later or something....like I said never seen her like this before, something set her off that day....probably the asshole ex
deepest
13 years ago
but I won't worry too much, I do have a habit of jumping to the wrong conclusions sometimes, if I hear from her fine, if not thats okay too, it has been one hell of a ride with her and I won't forget it :)
deepest
13 years ago
I guess that I was really surprised when I tried to call her and text my concern about her getting home okay and just checking on her, I thought I would have gotten something back...even if it was fuck off asshole or something like don't ever text me or call me again dickhead....at least I would have known she was ok :(
IrishLad
13 years ago
rickdugan is clearly jacking with you. He might be sincere and profoundly confused...but considering the over the top dramatic guilt laying in his posts, I'm going to go with jacking with you.
brewerfan
13 years ago
OK, she came on to you when you first walked in, right? So, how can she be mad at you for getting her fired, if indeed, she did get fired. And I find it funny that nobody bothered blaming the bartender for serving her the drinks too many drinks. If you really wanna know if she's all right, just go to the club in a couple of days and see if she's there. You don't even have to talk to her if you don't want to, but you'll at least know that she still has a job and that she's still alive, meaning that manangement/staff didn't let her drive home herself. Even if you don't see her again there's other girls. After all, nothing lasts forever.
rickdugan
13 years ago
deepest, the reason that you did not get thrown out is that most clubs don't take it out on the paying customer - they punish the dancer instead.

You know, this happened recently to another tuscler by the name of farmerart. The difference, however, is that he took an interest in making sure she was ok after being tossed out of her club. In fact, he cut her a check for lost earnings to help see her through.

I guess some guys are just more standup then others. But like I said before, sleep well my friend. After all, it's not your fault, right?
Player11
13 years ago
I think its time for you to make her an offer for otc. Sorry they run their clubs like a kindergarten there. Not your fault.

I cant believe she wont return your calls, texts. I question if she was fired but wonder if she metup with a big fish and she is screwing him silly at motel for big bucks.

If they dont call or text me back they are not worth worrying about. They dont reply if they think your broke or out of money. Go back to the club and find out what happened to her.
inno123
13 years ago
If she got fired it was most likely for getting too drunk on the job and it was not likely to be the first offense.
thesamurai
13 years ago
Like 25 said, and then Player, she likely didn't get fired unless she does that often. I would bet she either found a daddy or she has some shit going on at home and decided to pull the age old stripper disappears act.
And if you leave a review of a club or two, you might not even get accused of being financially culpable for her decisions.
10inches
13 years ago
I make it a rule to stay away from the obviously drunk dancers.
jackslash
13 years ago
deepest, If you got your ATF fired you've got to do the right thing by her and marry her.
steve229
13 years ago
Sounds like she may be embarrassed about what happened. I agree with Stiletto that you should just back off for now.

As to you being at fault, I think if we looked at our own track records, we would all be guilty of similar offenses at one time or another.

Made out with a drunk dancer? Check

Told by mgr/bouncer/bartender to "Get a room"? Check

Broke club "rules" in VIP? Check

Get Dancer in trouble with mgmt (e.g., fined, "banned", fired, etc.)? Check

And if someone says they have't done any of the above, I submit they're doing this hobby wrong, lol.


rickdugan
13 years ago
deepest, good thing you got her fired in the summer rather than the winter. This way she and her kid(s) will not freeze when her utilities are shut off. Hopefully she will be able to get back on her feet before the weather turns.
Clubber
13 years ago
I think I got my ATF in trouble, possibly fired...


OK, oh well!
rl27
13 years ago
You are thinking too much about things, deepest. The usual reasons for a dancer getting fired are: she is caught using drugs in the club, she is regularly very obviously high, she has been stealing, or has gotten in a fight with someone.

Most good dancers know how far they are allowed, to push thing, and unless she isn't making much money for the club, a dancer is normally not fired for going past the limits.
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