Do you actively seek it out to a greater or lesser degree, actively avoid it, or just go with the flow?
For myself, I find it hard to fully enjoy myself with a girl unless I at least like her a little bit. Not love, or even serious infatuation, but definitely somewhere on the positive side of "who the fuck are you?"
As far as strippers-just the ones I know for a while. My first ATF and I were involved for two years. My second pissed me off after cutting me off after 8 months (otherwise I wouldn't have cared). She then wanted to remain my ATF, without sex.
I knew OTC Gal for three years before she became my hotel gal.
I go with the flow but liking a girl certainly enhances my enjoyment. My current fav - been seeing her mostly otc going on 3 years. We had sex in VIP the first time I took her there.
We have a super relationship, it is her positive personality, drug free, and drama free behavior that makes her a keeper not to mention her superior performance in bed. These girls can go poof at any time due to any number of reasons. I will enjoy a good one as long as she is available to meet.
Another thoughtful post from george. I am still so new to the hobby that I get emotionally involved with the girls from time to time. The times of emotional involvement have been unsatisfactory; usually because my spending spirals out of control. I spent an eye-popping sum on the sweetie from Toronto before I discovered how really DUMB she was. I travel so much and my encounters are usually one-offs so my emotional involvements are infrequent. But, to be honest, if I see a girl more than once there must be at least a minimal "connection" for me.
I suspect that for some guys, emotional attachment to a dancer is THE attraction of strip clubs, and they're happiest when doing the whole "PL in love" thing. Probably due to some deep seated psychological needs.
This is just a theory I have, mind you, I wouldn't actually know anything about this personally...
How about guys who want to dash the dreams of the PSs (pathetic strippers) who are hoping you will become their PL in love emptying their bank accounts on them?
gmd,
I agree. I have to have some emotional baggage in the game. Can love be involved, of course. That said, if the emotion isn't at least a bit both ways, that is readily apparent, and my connection with a dancer quickly disappears!
It is true anyone who returns to see the same stripper all the time (ATF , great sex partner or whatever else they want to call it) has some emotional involvement. Hell I am emotionally involved with my coffee maker every morning. Letting the fantasy dominate the reality is when they become a PL, victim, sucker or whatever else.
Gatorfan,
You now make me wonder about the cream in your coffee. LOL
" I am emotionally involved with my coffee maker every morning."
So, is your Barista hot? Are we talking chain (Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Caribou, etc) or funky local independent coffeehouse?
What man could resist an attractive, sensual and avaiable young woman who at least pretends to like him. Even the toughest among us has fallen into heavy "like" and been taken for a lot of cash. We warn each other to keep emotions out of these encounters, because, after all "it's just about money." Some dancers are such good actresses, that we willing let down the guards and go with the flow. And then live with the consequences, usually the feeling of being dumped and the real pain--the drained wallet. The only approach is to recognize that getting emotional with a dancer will lead to no good end, but if it helps you enjoy the ride, then it might not be so bad.
I am emotionally involved with my ATF which is lot more fun but it leads to other things such as distraction, falling in love or develop feeling for the girl which is not a very good thing. Stripper don't really care about this, for them it is more about money than anything else. Most of them have some kind of BF so they don't want emotional involvement.
steve229, not hot I'm talking scalding. A little too mechanical but knows how to grind my beans. If it ever left me I don't know what I would do.
I find it more fun when I like the dancer and she likes me. But I don't let myself fall in love because I know the girls won't fall in love with me. Why should they? I'm twice their age, and while I'm physically fit, I'm no Leonardo DiCaprio. I treat my favorites well, and they tell me they like me. But if I stopped spending money on them, they would move on to other customers.
It's the proverbial slippery slope. Yep, I admit to it. I want that emotional involvement! It makes it more fun, even if I realize that it's probably one sided, as long as she can be fairly convincing that it's more than that, it makes things more enjoyable.
With that said, as we all know, if you aren't careful, this is where you can get burned. (and as you've probably read in my other posts, it HAS happened to me) BUT, I have also had SEVERAL LTRs with these girls, and at least one (my ATF), after about three years with her, nearly led to a long term commitment (she divorced and I nearly did).
I see signs where my current fav could turn into something more than just fun, but I have learned my lesson and know that I will not let my emotions run too far ahead of things.
gatorfan, you didn't answer steve229's question.
^ sure he did, his coffee maker is a kitchen appliance.
and regarding me, yes i have to have some feelings for a dancer or i might as well get involved with a kitchen appliance. but i've always been smart enough to know that it's a game and i have never showered them with money like some of you have admitted too. i'm not loaded with cash, far from it really, so i'm very carefull with how i spend it when it comes to the stripper business, and the bottom line is that it is a business.
I avoid the emotional attachment issue - it can create problems that I sure-as-hell don't need. If I had my way I wouldn't even bother with their names, much less anything beginning to resemble a "relationship" with them. Keeps things much simpler in my world (and theirs too).
troop: "yes i have to have some feelings for a dancer or i might as well get involved with a kitchen appliance. "
IMO, most strippers have about as much personality and intelligence as a kitchen appliance (OTOH, kitch appliance typically have the advantage of being much less flaky). So it really makes no little if one chooses strippers or kitchen appliances for "emotional involvement".
Dougter are you saying your refridgerator isn't a lying thieving whore?
LOL, that's funny!
A good stripper knows that there is more to her job than friction. I enjoy spending time with a woman who can create a convincing fantasy. We really should call them "actors" instead of "dancers".
"I am emotionally involved with my coffee maker every morning."
Sounds like a candidate for the latest reality TV show, the new TLC 12-part series, "My Strange Addiction," lol.
Jumping in late on this...but, GMD, I'm with you on this. I can't fully enjoy myself either unless I find a reason to like a dancer. If I don't find something that draws me in beyond the T & A, I'm one and out for dances OR one time as a customer.
Let me clarify, I'm not talking "love" or emotional baggage. I'm just talking about a modest connection based on a mutual sense of fun.
I like to be attracted to the dancer, but I don't know if that's the same as "emotions".
When it comes to dating, I have found that sex was usually better the stronger the relationship was. Emotions can add to the pleasure of sex. But they are not required for sex to be pleasurable.
i dont care about the emotions and half the time i dont care about the attractiveness, "all i care about is love"..Chicago. no really all i care about is her ass grinding me and her grouping me up
