Best way to make a stripper regain respect for you,when you've turned into a PL
I've seen one dancer 8 or 8 times since November of last year.It started
out where i would go in and get dances from her and another girl.Then I
didn't seen other girl for awhile.I'm from out of town and show up every
few months.The 1st dancer gave me her number so i could call her when i
came to town.She would usually sit with me her entire shift and i would
get dances from her and we would just hang the rest of the times.Before
when i would text her she would text me back before i could put the phone down.I recently spent a week in town and spent 4 nites with her at
the club.She spent her entire shift with me and i dropped 3200._+ 500 in
flowers and a necklace for a total of 3700.Since i've been gone i've texted her 3 times in 17 days and she takes a few days or a week before
she responds back.The last nite i was in we got into a heated discussion
.When I left then she said everything is fine.Meanwhile the 2nd stripper
that i hadn't seen in a while came in and started hitting on me giving
me her number and sending me pictures wanting us to get together.I felt
obligated to the 1st stripper so i didn't pursue the 2nd one.Next time
i go in which will not be for another 4 months, i plan to text the 2nd
stripper and get her to come in for me.I still like 1st stripper though
and would gladly stick with her,but the more money i spend on her it seems like she thinks shes got me wrapped around her finger and can treat me like a PL.Whats the best way to turn the tables on 1st stripper
so that she no longer treats me as a PL and gives me the respect that my
money and time spent on her deserves.Please don't beat me up to bad,I lost focus for a while but her current attitude has brought me back to
reality.
out where i would go in and get dances from her and another girl.Then I
didn't seen other girl for awhile.I'm from out of town and show up every
few months.The 1st dancer gave me her number so i could call her when i
came to town.She would usually sit with me her entire shift and i would
get dances from her and we would just hang the rest of the times.Before
when i would text her she would text me back before i could put the phone down.I recently spent a week in town and spent 4 nites with her at
the club.She spent her entire shift with me and i dropped 3200._+ 500 in
flowers and a necklace for a total of 3700.Since i've been gone i've texted her 3 times in 17 days and she takes a few days or a week before
she responds back.The last nite i was in we got into a heated discussion
.When I left then she said everything is fine.Meanwhile the 2nd stripper
that i hadn't seen in a while came in and started hitting on me giving
me her number and sending me pictures wanting us to get together.I felt
obligated to the 1st stripper so i didn't pursue the 2nd one.Next time
i go in which will not be for another 4 months, i plan to text the 2nd
stripper and get her to come in for me.I still like 1st stripper though
and would gladly stick with her,but the more money i spend on her it seems like she thinks shes got me wrapped around her finger and can treat me like a PL.Whats the best way to turn the tables on 1st stripper
so that she no longer treats me as a PL and gives me the respect that my
money and time spent on her deserves.Please don't beat me up to bad,I lost focus for a while but her current attitude has brought me back to
reality.
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29 comments
Just wondering what city is this in?
Here are a few things that you might do to let her know that you are worthy of respect:
1. Send flowers and jewelry to the club when you cannot be in town.
2. Have her house fees automatically debited from your card. This will keep you in her mind every time she ends a shift and doesn't have to pony up to the club.
3. Set up automatic bank checks for her. I like a monthly approach but some feel that weekly is more manageable for them.
4. Keep in touch often. If she doesn't answer her phone, leave her nice voicemails. I like to draw lines from Lord Byron but opinions vary on this.
5. Buy her a car or make her car payments. You will always be in her thoughts when she gets into the car to go somewhere.
Now if these things still do not work and you want to REALLY SHOW HER THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF RESPECT, you can also try these approaches:
6. Find out where she lives and have gifts sent to her house. This shows that you are a man who is truly interested and one that takes initiative.
7. Leave sweet notes of support and encouragement on her windshield or under the door to her house/apartment/trailer. IMHO, this shows that you are both determined AND thoughtful.
8. Find out who her landlord is and pay her rent directly.
9. Find out where her kids go to school and make direct payments to their school lunch accounts. Nothing touches a mother's heart like a nice guy taking an interest in her children.
Now some girls, particularly when they don't yet understand that a guy is worthy of respect, do knee-jerk things like obtaining a restraining order when he first starts truly showing her his worth. Don't be deterred! If a silly piece of paper stops you from showing her that you are worthy of respect, then she was right in the first place.
Good luck and keep us posted!
What helped me was to recognize that we're really talking about two worlds - two dimensions - two...PLAYGROUNDS! Yeah, playgrounds! Each with their own set of rules. I think we would all agree, the strip club world is business. The $3700 worth of stuff is her paycheck. Now I'm not saying that there was not real affection between the two of you, or that there was. I'm just saying that in that playground, that's what cash/gifts are. Own it. In the other playground (the real world), all the good talks, the texts, the gifts, etc are (or SHOULD be) all different ways to express your love. "Love" being that you want the best for her, even if it costs you. In THAT playground, there are no strings attached to these things, and the giver does so hopefully with the understanding that there might be no reciprocation. In that playground, respect, concern, admiration...love...has to grow and should grow without the financial and material gifts.
It sounds like the problem is, you took the rules of one playground and applied them to the other. It doesn't work.
So to your question, this is what I think you should DO. First, within yourself, embrace the fact that dancer 1 owes you nothing - that the money and gifts were all given in the playground where these things are merely a paycheck. Write it off, and close the books.
Next, get real about what you want. Is it respect? Or is it to impress? They're not the same thing. Your gifts no doubt impressed her. Respect is different, and it's a character thing. Settle that issue.
Then finally, have an honest discussion with dancer 1. If your were seeking to impress her, tell her that. If you were really wanting to do something good for her, tell her that. If you were trying to express love, tell her that. But be honest, man! Clearly lay it out - this is what you did, this is why you did it, you are now resetting to "zero", and this is what you would like to see happen (like continue in this playground with a very good business relationship, or move it to the other playground). Get those things settled and clearly communicate them to her respectfully and I believe that she will respect you. That does not mean that she's going to do what you want, and you need to recognize that and accept it. But maybe she'll respect you.
Try what MisterGay does. Come onto TUSCL loudly proclaiming your respect for whores and charging at the windmills of the right wing establishment. Whores love guys who respect them and will make a stand for them on the internet. They also love liberal crusaders.
if so..
@ brotherhood.. dude you never had her respect to begin with!
she was just playing you for your money.. and no offense meant but spending $3700.00 on her in the club over 4 days tells me that you have alot more money than brains!
face it.. even if you do get her to change her attitude about you it will never be sincere and will only last as long as the money flows freely. and the only reason the other stripper is hitting on you is because she wants to swim in your river of free flowing dollars.
My brother, you have started down the road of gaining true respect, but the difficult part of the journey now begins.
You have made it past the first stage: personal circle admittance.
The next stage, relationship definement, is always the toughest IMO. You must find a way to allow her to see you for the gift that you truly are.
Remember that she is naturally jaded because of what she deals with in this life. If you do anything to reinforce her belief that you are like those other nasty guys then you will have lost any chance with her, so trying to "turn the tables" will only drive her away. You must woo her, not attack her. Show your gentle and patient side and give her the time, attention, and, yes, tribute that she needs to feel good about herself.
$3700 was a good start and brought you to the first stage, but you may have to do much more before you overcome her natural defenses. She has likely been hurt a lot in this life, which may be why she is stripping for a living in the first place. It may take a great deal of effort on your part to pierce the veil of bitterness and despair in order for her to you for what you truly are. You may actually be in a rare position to save someone, a place that many of us strive for but few of us achieve.
With a lot of work, you may be one of the lucky few who gets to the third stage: relationship advancement and fulfillment.
Good luck!
Realize this might go on until she is 30. You need to figure out if you really want to invest YOUR years into this. Those years might be into something that is far more emotionally & sexually rewarding and drama free.
Georg, I will have to work on the delivery some more. I was admittedly trying to emulate DickJohnson who, for some strange reason, came to mind as I read the first post.
I suppose there is always a grain of truth in every cliche, including the ones about strippers. The point of the posts was to make fun of the cliches about strippers as well as the cliched beliefs of PLs about how to earn their affections.
There are exceptions to every rule, but by and large the lioness is still a lioness regardless of what made her that way. And the PL will always be such to her, and inevitably the more he tries to gain her affection the more he digs further into that mental category. Anything else is usually smoke in the breaze.
Doug and samsung: Success IRL and messing with strippers are two very different animals.
I have a sexy wife (who is even great in bed), own businesses and have a very respectable life (church, private schools for the kids, blah blah). The reason I do what I do involves wanting to mess with girls 10-15 years younger than me and the general seedy fun of it.
I would have no interest in anything serious with a stripper, most of whom are unsuited to running a normal household. Similarly, most dancers have no interest in being Betty Crocker and instead gravitate towards destructive fuck ups or pathetic losers who are ok with their girlfriends/wives grinding on other mens' penises.
Better just to dip in and out as the need arises ;)
Of course in this discussion we completely leave out the lesbians and manhaters, which are well represented in the dancer community, but there it is.