Don't ask rule

27 comments

• Clubber

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  14 years ago

  I tend to follow your rule except if there is an Asian dancer. Here they are so rare, I don't wish to miss a chance. I think you handled the situation well.
• how

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  14 years ago

  A dancer's willingness to approach guys and strike up a conversation is a typical key to success. I usually don't do the approaching, but sometimes do, and it is certainly not a "rule" with me... I don't think you blew any chances with the subject of your OP, licklick.
• LeeH

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  14 years ago

  Approach, no. But I will *initiate* on occasion. If a dancer is on stage and I go to tip her, I might ask for a dance when she's done her set. I used to rely on the post-set "thank you" rounds, but some dancers don't do them, and others will do them, but if the guy before me is interested in a dance, I may get my "thank you" two hours later. Which is nice, that she remembered, but hey ...
• LeeH

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  14 years ago

  I also don't think that you've blown it with her, as long as you send out a willing vibe next time. Maybe be a bit less subtle than last time, but just a bit.
• txtittyfan

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  14 years ago

  I rarely approach. If I get eye contact and they do not approach, I view it as their loss. On the other hand, I am not fond of approaches by dancers I am obviously avoiding eye contact with.
• Dudester

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  14 years ago

  My rules: 1) Never ever tip the girls on stage as I walk in (unless on the one in a billion chance that it's a well known actress (ain't holding my breath). 2) Settle in, let my eyes adjust to the atmosphere. 3) Take in the sights and consider possible dancing partners. Unless there's indicators, I will wait 30 to 60 minutes to get the dancer I want. It might be through stage or if she's wandering the floor. If she's sitting with some guy (doing nothing) and goes up onstage, I'll let her see the wad in my wallet, money talks.
• SuperDude

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  14 years ago

  She took you for granted until she saw your attention and money go elsewhere. Now, she has to get you back into her stable of regulars. Will you allow her to do that? What will she have to do to earn you back?
• steve229

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  14 years ago

  There are three rules I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
• vincemichaels

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  14 years ago

  damn, steve, how do you manage to get 12 hours of sleep? licklick, I think you shouldn't worry 1 nanosecond. If the dancer has any brains, she'll be more accomodating next time you are both there. There certainly is plenty of fish in the sea, have fun with everyone else while she loses money.
• OnceFearless

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  14 years ago

  Blown it?? What does that mean? She wont take your money next time you are there. Listen. There will always be other girls.
• Jerry77

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  14 years ago

  I disagree actually. I used to not ask, but have found over the years that it is sometimes very worthwhile asking. Some girls lack the social awareness to figure things out. For them, the direct approach is best. And, some of those girls are not just hot, the interaction and dance later is ...wow. And sometimes, it is simply that the dancer is in very high demand with a long todo list. She is both hot and awesome and the other customers know it. However, I don't pressure. I simply tip when they are on a main stage dance. When they come near, I simply say "I'm interested in a private dance with you later" and show interest. After they get off stage, however, I simply watch the next dancer on stage from a few rows back. Or I watch TV. But no staring at the desired dancer or other social pressure. About 80% of the time, the dancer finds me and interrupts my viewing. The rest of the time, "they don't get around to it." No pressure.
• uscue13

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  14 years ago

  Steve, what movie was that from? I remember the line about playing poker and think it was Robert Downey Jr but I'm at a loss. On topic, I also don't approach. I like to tip girls I'm interested on stage. Like someone else said, I noticed a lot don't do the "thank you" rounds after dancing now and you have to be more direct when tipping, but I still try the old method. To me a lot of them are losing out by not coming by to see the one guy that actually tipped them. One thing I noticed is if you blow off a fave, next time they'll get pouty, show you extra attention and ask what they did to make you "mad at them". You haven't blown anything, trust me
• steve229

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  14 years ago

  "what movie was that from?" Some man to man advice from Coach Bobby Finstock (Jay Tarses) to a troubled Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox) in “Teen Wolf”. (Tarses is the best thing in the movie.) Back on topic, Thomas Edison once said “Hell, there are no rules here, we are trying to accomplish something.” Sometimes you have to take charge to get the ball rolling. And I agree with uscue13, “make-up” dances with a pouty fav can be a lot of fun.
• sharkhunter

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  14 years ago

  Blown it with a dancer? You're joking right? That's pretty funny.
• LeeH

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  14 years ago

  Damn. All this talk about "blowing" and "dancers" and no one's made the obvious joke? WTF? Are we maturing or something? ;-)
• LeeH

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  14 years ago

  Jerry77: I simply say "I'm interested in a private dance with you later" ... If I ask, I take it a step farther and ask "May I have a dance when you're done your set?" Puts not only the ball, but the power, in her court. Also implies that I see it that getting to see her body up close (with possible rubbing) is more valuable than my Alexander Hamilton.
• LeeH

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  14 years ago

  sharkhunter: Blown it with a dancer? You're joking right? That's pretty funny. Actually, licklick's general concern is valid (even if it's probably inapplicable in this particular circumstance). If the customer pool is big enough or if a dancer just hangs with regulars all the time, she might not give a specific customer a sniff, ever.
• gatorfan

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  14 years ago

  The only blowing it and a dancer is of the BJ variety!
• mmdv26

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  14 years ago

  For many years I couldn't mutter the words "wanna dance". I always waited for the dancer to approach me and ask if I wanted a dance...don't want to act too hungry - she might think she has me on the line. There have been dancers that I really want to get in their pants, so I have gone to the edge of the stage to tip - a ten used to be the code for "I wanna dance (when you get off stage)". Lately, I will ask a dancer that has come over to chat "shouldn't we be dancing?", and it almost always garners the response, "we should!", or similar. I have found in my older age that a little less drama helps grease the wheels...or lubricate something. Eliminating the posturing on my part makes me more approachable.
• babehunter90

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  14 years ago

  licklick, I take a completely opposite approach: If I see a girl who looks like she'd give a fun dance, I WILL go over to her and ask her point-blank for the dance. There are times I want a dance and I want it now, that's all there is to it.
• DandyDan

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  14 years ago

  It probably depends on which club you are in. At the three clubs I go to most, I am enough of a regular that I don't have to ask for a dance. Even at my #4 club, they will come up to you and ask if you want a dance. However, I've been to places where you have to ask about getting a dance, even if the customer/dancer ratio is low. I'm not sure why those type of places are that way, but they are, and it always used to annoy me, but I figure if no one is talking to me, I better be talking to them.
• steve229

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  14 years ago

  Time of visit can play a role. At one club the day shift is very regular driven and dancers operate in a low hustle mode. Girls are used to chatting up guys for 20+ mins before finally heading to the back for a few dances. Nice if that's your thing, not so much if you want to get multiple dances from several girls. The hustle factor goes up when the night shift girls start to come on. Usually about the time I'm getting ready to leave is when dancers start approaching me.
• samsung1

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  14 years ago

  Probably better to wait for them to ask you so you know they are in the mood to dance. If you go to them and ask for a dance, they will usually always say "yes" because they want your money...but maybe they were just on their way to the bathroom or to get something to eat because they were starving, etc. They might not really be in the mood to dance for you and it takes a lot of energy for them to dance. Also as far as you playing hard to get with your favorite, the best way to impress a woman is to ignore her.
• rickdugan

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  14 years ago

  LOL at "blown it." You are in control not her. All she has control over is herself, while you have your wallet and your pick of girls in that club and every other club in the area. If it were me, then she was the one who blew it. I would never give her a nickle, not out of spite, but because bad attitudes on the main club floor usually translate elsewhere.
• steve229

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  14 years ago

  What, these bitches have to be "in the mood" to dance? I thought giving lap dances was their, you know, JOB? What's happened to our work ethic? :-)
• gatorfan

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  14 years ago

  I think he meant they have to be in the mood to blow.
• MisterGuy

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  14 years ago

  "I'm not sure why those type of places are that way, but they are, and it always used to annoy me, but I figure if no one is talking to me, I better be talking to them." The old club rule in many of the off-Montreal-island strip clubs was to not approach the customer for a LD (or more) for fear of being accused of soliciting. There are a number of dancers from that era (which actually wasn't that long ago), especially ones that used to work at the infamous Bar Salon Grand Prix (may she rest in peace), that still live by this rule, which is annoying. I rarely will ask or approach a dancer to ask for a LD. I like it better when they come to me.