Don't ask rule
licklick
Florida
Over the weekend, I was at my favorite club on a non-busy afternoon. Saw one of my favorite dancers when entering…eye contact was made while she was in conversation with another dancer. I sit down, watch the end of a ballgame for about 20 minutes and wait for her to make her way over. Nothing….not for two hours. She even made the rounds to ask guys near me. Just when I'm ready to give up and go home, another favorite of mine arrives. She approaches quite flirty, we have a quick conversation and proceed to the back for some hot, satisfying dances. I head back to the seating area to cool off, get collected and prepared to leave and as I'm making my way to the door, the dancer I'd been waiting for gets up and starts to approach me. I share a pleasant hello as I continue toward the door. What do you think? Have I blown it with her or will she be more eager to greet me next time I visit?
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I tend to follow your rule except if there is an Asian dancer. Here they are so rare, I don't wish to miss a chance.
I think you handled the situation well.
I don't think you blew any chances with the subject of your OP, licklick.
1) Never ever tip the girls on stage as I walk in (unless on the one in a billion chance that it's a well known actress (ain't holding my breath).
2) Settle in, let my eyes adjust to the atmosphere.
3) Take in the sights and consider possible dancing partners. Unless there's indicators, I will wait 30 to 60 minutes to get the dancer I want. It might be through stage or if she's wandering the floor. If she's sitting with some guy (doing nothing) and goes up onstage, I'll let her see the wad in my wallet, money talks.
Listen. There will always be other girls.
I used to not ask, but have found over the years that it is sometimes very worthwhile asking. Some girls lack the social awareness to figure things out. For them, the direct approach is best. And, some of those girls are not just hot, the interaction and dance later is ...wow.
And sometimes, it is simply that the dancer is in very high demand with a long todo list. She is both hot and awesome and the other customers know it.
However, I don't pressure. I simply tip when they are on a main stage dance. When they come near, I simply say "I'm interested in a private dance with you later" and show interest. After they get off stage, however, I simply watch the next dancer on stage from a few rows back. Or I watch TV. But no staring at the desired dancer or other social pressure. About 80% of the time, the dancer finds me and interrupts my viewing. The rest of the time, "they don't get around to it." No pressure.
On topic, I also don't approach. I like to tip girls I'm interested on stage. Like someone else said, I noticed a lot don't do the "thank you" rounds after dancing now and you have to be more direct when tipping, but I still try the old method. To me a lot of them are losing out by not coming by to see the one guy that actually tipped them.
One thing I noticed is if you blow off a fave, next time they'll get pouty, show you extra attention and ask what they did to make you "mad at them". You haven't blown anything, trust me
Some man to man advice from Coach Bobby Finstock (Jay Tarses) to a troubled Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox) in “Teen Wolfâ€. (Tarses is the best thing in the movie.)
Back on topic, Thomas Edison once said “Hell, there are no rules here, we are trying to accomplish something.†Sometimes you have to take charge to get the ball rolling.
And I agree with uscue13, “make-up†dances with a pouty fav can be a lot of fun.
If I ask, I take it a step farther and ask "May I have a dance when you're done your set?" Puts not only the ball, but the power, in her court. Also implies that I see it that getting to see her body up close (with possible rubbing) is more valuable than my Alexander Hamilton.
Actually, licklick's general concern is valid (even if it's probably inapplicable in this particular circumstance). If the customer pool is big enough or if a dancer just hangs with regulars all the time, she might not give a specific customer a sniff, ever.
There have been dancers that I really want to get in their pants, so I have gone to the edge of the stage to tip - a ten used to be the code for "I wanna dance (when you get off stage)". Lately, I will ask a dancer that has come over to chat "shouldn't we be dancing?", and it almost always garners the response, "we should!", or similar.
I have found in my older age that a little less drama helps grease the wheels...or lubricate something. Eliminating the posturing on my part makes me more approachable.
The hustle factor goes up when the night shift girls start to come on. Usually about the time I'm getting ready to leave is when dancers start approaching me.
If you go to them and ask for a dance, they will usually always say "yes" because they want your money...but maybe they were just on their way to the bathroom or to get something to eat because they were starving, etc. They might not really be in the mood to dance for you and it takes a lot of energy for them to dance.
Also as far as you playing hard to get with your favorite, the best way to impress a woman is to ignore her.
You are in control not her. All she has control over is herself, while you have your wallet and your pick of girls in that club and every other club in the area.
If it were me, then she was the one who blew it. I would never give her a nickle, not out of spite, but because bad attitudes on the main club floor usually translate elsewhere.
The old club rule in many of the off-Montreal-island strip clubs was to not approach the customer for a LD (or more) for fear of being accused of soliciting. There are a number of dancers from that era (which actually wasn't that long ago), especially ones that used to work at the infamous Bar Salon Grand Prix (may she rest in peace), that still live by this rule, which is annoying.
I rarely will ask or approach a dancer to ask for a LD. I like it better when they come to me.