tuscl

Your Personal Frame of Reference/Grading Standards:

minnow
Any place that interests me.
Monday, March 8, 2010 6:22 PM
I'm sure you've all waded through reviews and wondered how the hell some guys came up with the grade(s) they did. For me, the focal point of my grade is the overall blend of dancer attractiveness/ mileage/contact levels. Within reason, I'm not too particular about club amenities, but do care if club staff is attentive without being too bothersome/intrusive. So, I tweak the factor grades to get the desired overall grade. I'm curious how you all would grade my hypothetical Clubs X and Z on the 3 factor grades. Club X- Its kinda in grungy side of town, looks like it hasn't been remodeled since the 70's, has a glorified broom closet for a restroom, and restroom patrons can see you dropping a deuce. Night cover charge is $20. Dancers are mostly mid range in attractiveness, best dancer maybe an 8. Maybe 2 fuglies on 15 dancer shift. But, stageside interaction is practically like getting an LD, with close view of goods, good attention for $1. Test drive laps are $20 bikini in open room with some good contact levels, $30 topless. There's a nude 3 for $100 option, of your 2 dancers, 1 gives good grind, 2 way mileage, only kitty off limits, 2nd allows ptk & delivers a handjob. Your grade?? (PS- non alc. drinks from vending machine. CLUB Z- Would rival any upscale hotel insofar as amenities. Cover charge (night) $10, beers $6, mixed drinks $8. Dancers are almost all 7 Ups, perfunctory stageside interaction. Open area dances are $20, topless club, semiprivate area entails buying the dancer an overpriced drink, dances still $20 each. One way contact mostly, plenty of stevies, discreet thigh touching, not much grindage, but plenty of climbing over you by most dancers. One of the princesses is contact shy. Your grades??

13 comments

  • Dudester
    •
    14 years ago
    Club X Physical Club: 8 Dancer Quality: 8 $ Value: 8 Club Z Physical Club: 8 Dancer Quality: 6 $ Value: 6 And this is why I feel the three markers we have are misnomers. Although it's up to us, the reviewers, to give specifics on dancers the grading process here should be tweaked. Case in point-two of my fave clubs: Houston Dolls: Very much the Queen Mary-hasn't had any physical upgrades since the 1930's. Furniture needs replacing, the private rooms are amateur hour, but the dancers are a different story. Dancers are usually high mileage and price values are indicative that the owner wants to give the customer a good enough time to return. St. James-an upscale and clean facility, with good ventilation. Parts of the club even smell clean during operating hours. The dancers are usually lookers, but mileage is all over the place. Some mileage is perfunctory, some high mileage. So, if I were to tweak the ratings here, I'd like to see a poll type, fill in the dot on the ratings, for instance: Club type: upscale clean and large clean and small grand dame-has seen it's better days hole in the wall hazmat hazard-don't enter without spacesuit on Dancers: Ratings on dancer looks 1-10 Ratings on dancer value 1-10 Ratings on dancer mileage 1-10 Drink value 1-10 waitress value 1-10 parking ease/access 1-10
  • gatorfan
    •
    14 years ago
    I grade on "the curves" (and sometimes a lack thereof).
  • samsung1
    •
    14 years ago
    Club Z would surprise me. They usually don't run the "dancer drink" bullshit at the upscale clubs. When I am reading reviews I like to see the date of visit. Of course visiting on a friday or saturday night will be better than a monday or tuesday! Some people don't seem to take that into consideration with their rating. Overall though, I should not complain. Tuscl reviews are far more valuable than the ones on SCL. Good job founder/editor. Club X Physical Club: 6 Dancer Quality: 7 $ Value: 6 Club Z Physical Club: 9 Dancer Quality: 8 $ Value: 6
  • samsung1
    •
    14 years ago
    One interesting thing is what does Dancer Quality mean? If a dancer gives good mileage does that add points to the dancer quality or value $? I consider paying for a lap dance and getting low mileage a value issue, not a dancer quality issue. Dancer quality has been considered based off appearance. Value $ is mileage. physical is upscale vs po dunk.
  • Jpac73
    •
    14 years ago
    Personally I would not go to either one. $20 is too much for a club that is basically a "hole in the wall." 3 for a 100 is still a little High. So with that in mind here is how I would grade them. Club X Physical Club:5 Dancer Quality: 7 $ Value:7 Club Z Physical Club: 10 Dancer Quality: 9 $ Value: 6
  • shadowcat
    •
    14 years ago
    Well, I don't do that many reviews. But a lot of what I read sucks. Lack of mileage and prices. I only go to 1 club now.TUSCL's nr3 club. I can get it all there. Been some low ratings Lately but I chock that up no experience.
  • how
    •
    14 years ago
    Club X Physical Club: 4 Dancer Quality: 7 $ Value: 8 Club Z Physical Club: 9 Dancer Quality: 8 $ Value: 5 For a club to get a 10 on $ Value, FS must be on the menu, and for not-too-much beyond dance prices.
  • now_starring
    •
    14 years ago
    Not in any particular order: How many girls are there that I want a dance from? What was my experience on that particular visit? How much am I jonesing to go back? Price for drinks, dances, etc? Music? How much fun will the dancers let me have? What is the quality of the dance(not including extras)? How much privacy do I get in ViP? How am I treated by the staff? How much do I have to compete with customers for a dance, basically I like a certain ratio of dancers to customers. Not so many customers that I can't get a dance, but not so few customers that I become the center of attention at any point. I am sure I missed a few, but I think I got the important ones.
  • potheadpl
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    14 years ago
    I agree that the $20 cover is too high. I've paid that in Tampa,but at Mons and 2001, which are fantastic clubs.
  • DandyDan
    •
    14 years ago
    Using the TUSCL rating system, in the final analysis, I'd have to rate Club X higher than Club Z, although I'd have a difficult time giving a specific number at this point, since these are hypothetical and not real clubs. Part of the rating is the feeling I get being in a club. A club can have outdated decor and still rate well in physical club if it sets a good vibe. Like samsung, I also wonder what dancer quality means. I have seen many girls whose lap dancing skills rate far better than their attractiveness and I've also seen 7Up's who can't lap dance to save their lives.
  • gatorfan
    •
    14 years ago
    Club Z sounds interesting, I might go there.
  • minnow
    •
    14 years ago
    Interesting replies, fellas. Dudester & n_s have some good guidelines that are more meaningful than present grading system, though several of those are often covered in text of review. I find it interesting that "how" rated Club Z 1 point higher (7.33 vs 6.33), given his oft stated preference for extras clubs. I wonder which of the 2 clubs he'd choose to visit, if he could only visit one. DD- FYI, my Club X & Z are based on a composite visit to real clubs. Club X is based on Crazy Horse, SF. Club Z is a composite of 2 upscale Phoenix clubs- Babes & Christies.
  • MisterGuy
    •
    14 years ago
    "Part of the rating is the feeling I get being in a club." Exactly...sorry, I can't rate clubs (even hypothetical ones...lol...) without visiting them. "One interesting thing is what does Dancer Quality mean?" For me, if the dancers vary from a 4-8 on my scale (which basically takes into account looks & attitude and is totally subjective), then the club will likely get a 6 in that category. Sometimes I have to decide how to round (up or down), but usually not. "If a dancer gives good mileage does that add points to the dancer quality or value $? I consider paying for a lap dance and getting low mileage a value issue, not a dancer quality issue." I agree completely.
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