I'm sure you've all waded through reviews and wondered how the hell some guys came up with the grade(s) they did. For me, the focal point of my grade is the overall blend of dancer attractiveness/ mileage/contact levels. Within reason, I'm not too particular about club amenities, but do care if club staff is attentive without being too bothersome/intrusive. So, I tweak the factor grades to get the desired overall grade. I'm curious how you all would grade my hypothetical Clubs X and Z on the 3 factor grades.
Club X- Its kinda in grungy side of town, looks like it hasn't been remodeled since the 70's, has a glorified broom closet for a restroom, and restroom patrons can see you dropping a deuce. Night cover charge is $20. Dancers are mostly mid range in attractiveness, best dancer maybe an 8. Maybe 2 fuglies on 15 dancer shift. But, stageside interaction is practically like getting an LD, with close view of goods, good attention for $1. Test drive laps are $20 bikini in open room with some good contact levels, $30 topless. There's a nude 3 for $100 option, of your 2 dancers, 1 gives good grind, 2 way mileage, only kitty off limits, 2nd allows ptk & delivers a handjob. Your grade?? (PS- non alc. drinks from vending machine.
CLUB Z- Would rival any upscale hotel insofar as amenities. Cover charge (night) $10, beers $6, mixed drinks $8. Dancers are almost all 7 Ups, perfunctory stageside interaction. Open area dances are $20, topless club, semiprivate area entails buying the dancer an overpriced drink, dances still $20 each. One way contact mostly, plenty of stevies, discreet thigh touching, not much grindage, but plenty of climbing over you by most dancers. One of the princesses is contact shy. Your grades??
Club X
Physical Club: 8 Dancer Quality: 8 $ Value: 8
Club Z
Physical Club: 8 Dancer Quality: 6 $ Value: 6
And this is why I feel the three markers we have are misnomers. Although it's up to us, the reviewers, to give specifics on dancers the grading process here should be tweaked. Case in point-two of my fave clubs:
Houston Dolls: Very much the Queen Mary-hasn't had any physical upgrades since the 1930's. Furniture needs replacing, the private rooms are amateur hour, but the dancers are a different story. Dancers are usually high mileage and price values are indicative that the owner wants to give the customer a good enough time to return.
St. James-an upscale and clean facility, with good ventilation. Parts of the club even smell clean during operating hours. The dancers are usually lookers, but mileage is all over the place. Some mileage is perfunctory, some high mileage.
So, if I were to tweak the ratings here, I'd like to see a poll type, fill in the dot on the ratings, for instance:
Club type: upscale clean and large clean and small grand dame-has seen it's better days hole in the wall hazmat hazard-don't enter without spacesuit on
Dancers: Ratings on dancer looks 1-10 Ratings on dancer value 1-10 Ratings on dancer mileage 1-10
Drink value 1-10 waitress value 1-10 parking ease/access 1-10