How to tell a dancer to move on?
daveyray
OK, I have a problem. I'm a nice guy (read: PL).
I'm working on that, so I need some advice from some more experienced (i.e., jaded) members here. What is a polite, or at least appropriate, way to ask a dancer to go away for a while?
Now, I'm not the most attractive guy in the world. I'm the stereotypical fat one-eyed bald guy. BUT it almost never fails that when I'm in a SC -- one that I'm familiar with or one that I'm visiting for the first time -- that one girl will latch onto me. Sometimes they're cute, but sometimes not.
Oftentimes they will come up to my table or barstool and just sit down and start talking to me. I'm not a psychiatrist but you would not BELIEVE (actually, most of you would) some of the things I get told; I guess I'm a good listener. And believe it or not, most of the time it's NOT (or at least it doesn't seem to be) the standard "I'm in trouble, can you give me money please" scam.
Other times, I may find them attractive and either tip them on stage or even get a lap dance. Neither of which, to ME at least, justifies them expecting me to spend the entire evening spending my money on them, or even talking to them. I like variety, I like to "try out" several girls, particularly in a new (to me) club or if there are several dancers I've not met before.
So, what is a reasonable (i.e., polite or at least not pissy) way to say "Hey, thanks for your interest, but please go away for now?" I would like to at least maintain a semblance of politeness since, you know, dancers talk. Besides which I may, at some point, be in the mood to spend some time with her, no burning bridges if I can help it. Or if she is like that should I run away and never even think about her again, burning everything behind me like Scorched Earth?
I'm working on that, so I need some advice from some more experienced (i.e., jaded) members here. What is a polite, or at least appropriate, way to ask a dancer to go away for a while?
Now, I'm not the most attractive guy in the world. I'm the stereotypical fat one-eyed bald guy. BUT it almost never fails that when I'm in a SC -- one that I'm familiar with or one that I'm visiting for the first time -- that one girl will latch onto me. Sometimes they're cute, but sometimes not.
Oftentimes they will come up to my table or barstool and just sit down and start talking to me. I'm not a psychiatrist but you would not BELIEVE (actually, most of you would) some of the things I get told; I guess I'm a good listener. And believe it or not, most of the time it's NOT (or at least it doesn't seem to be) the standard "I'm in trouble, can you give me money please" scam.
Other times, I may find them attractive and either tip them on stage or even get a lap dance. Neither of which, to ME at least, justifies them expecting me to spend the entire evening spending my money on them, or even talking to them. I like variety, I like to "try out" several girls, particularly in a new (to me) club or if there are several dancers I've not met before.
So, what is a reasonable (i.e., polite or at least not pissy) way to say "Hey, thanks for your interest, but please go away for now?" I would like to at least maintain a semblance of politeness since, you know, dancers talk. Besides which I may, at some point, be in the mood to spend some time with her, no burning bridges if I can help it. Or if she is like that should I run away and never even think about her again, burning everything behind me like Scorched Earth?
24 comments
Or, if there's a hawttie that you're interested in, put her to work. Give her a $5 tip and tell her to send Bambi over.
ask her to leave in a polite manner, she will most likely avoid you for the rest of your visit, but luckily some strippers can take a hint and will return a little later.
Well, I don’t think you have to go all Dougster on the poor girls. After all, if you’re really not interested, the “nice†thing to do is tell her upfront, so she doesn’t waste her time. A polite but firm, “Nice talking to you, thanks for stopping by†should do the trick.
Now, if she won’t take the hint, you can always take a page from the Bloodhound Gang and tell “Bambiâ€
"Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
But where I have a problem is with the truly soft ones, that haven't been jaded yet. The ones that really want nothing more than a brief respite and a casual conversation. They're the ones that get hurt no matter how mildly rejected.
But... I had this one recently. Nice enough girl, I suppose. It wasn't very busy, but there were a few groups of rowdy, aggressive guys and I think she just felt secure perched next to me. That would have been fine by me, if she hadn't tried talking to me. To put it bluntly, I've had more interesting conversations with my parrot!
Either she was too dumb, or obstinate, to take any of the hints that I proffered, ratcheting up the 'rudeness factor' each time. But she was as interesting as a blow-up doll. And I was getting a headache trying to think like a twelve year old in order to converse with her.
So (and I do feel sheepish about this), I felt I had no choice but to stand up, shake her hand, and tell her, 'It was nice meeting you'.
Oh... Are you leaving already? No. You are.
SC'ing is all about rejection; and that can work BOTH ways. For you, it's all about connecting with the one that strikes your fancy just that day, or every day. Unless you are exceptionally rude, I don't think you can hurt a stripper's feelings.... even if she has any.
In the places I've been to, dancers usually come back to you even after you said "no thank you." They expect you to loosen up as you drink. As long as you are polite you'll be ok.
Get a dance from another girl. It will give you an opportunity to break aways and you can buid a good reputation with the other girls. If you have an ATF, odds are most of the dancers know. So go along with it. "You know I'm waiting for my ATF."
Polite direct honesty:
Excuse me, Im going to walk around to check things out.
Subtlety:
Excuse me, I'm going to go tip that dancer on the stage.(Then take your time.)
Striper shit trickery (butstill polite):
Wait here, I'll be right back (not).
The unwinder:
Hey, I just got here and I need to unwide by myself a little, would you mind?
The standard:
I'm waiting for (anybody).
When she's a rock and won't move:
Would you mind moving over a seat? ...I think I'm going to invite (anybody) to sit here.
Turn an empty pocket inside out for a visual cue.
Because I don't have time to write a book, I won't throw in all the sound bites that just came to mind (while laughing) when I read this. I only wish it was true, since over the years I really did try not to offend the entertainment. One of my favorite dancer meltdowns was at Rick's in Seattle, though. I said I was waiting for someone to come back (true) and she sits down and demands to know why I don't want to talk with her. Is she not my type? Did she not approach the right way? What was wrong with her? It was ugly, and utterly hilarious.
On another occasion a dancer I liked came over to me in one club and asked if she mind if she just talks to me. After about 45 minutes, she said she had to get one $10 table dance every hour or the boss would say something to her. Then she said something about staying with me until the club closed if I didn't mind. It was only around 10 PM. Around 1 AM, I politely told her I wouldn't mind getting some dances from some of the other dancers before the club closed. No problem. She moved on and made some money.
If they linger too long, I tell them my name is Dougster ftom TUSCL, they leave everytime.