Ever misjudge a dancer's attractiveness?

8/16/2009 9:57:25 PM

I was on vacation for the past two weeks, so I drove to a club I'd never visited in a county south of mine.

Nice club. I arrived during dayshift, having smoked a bowl in my car in the parking lot. So my judgement wasn't great. Well, got a dance with a cute blonde but no pressure for VIP. Good full nude dance, I sucked her nipples and kissed her. Her shift was up so she left after the one.

Well, I'm really baked. This fake titted blonde with tats and a vinyl bustier hits me up for a dance. When we got to the dance area she upsold me on VIP, with the promise that "what goes up, will come down". I paid $170 plus $20 tip for the bouncer and we went to VIP for 30 minutes(and got two drinks). She removed my belt and her bustier---at which time I noticed she was the back side of 40 and probably 4o pounds overweight. Meh, OK. I figured I could deal with it. She takes off my shirt and gets nude to reveal a 1970s porn bush and a floppy gut. I was grossed out but pressed on. She ground the rough bush against my stomach. Grabbed my finger and stuck it in her twat. I guess I should have been turned on but she was so repulsive I just endured it for 30 minutes.

She kept pressing me for more money so she's go further, but I actually wished I could get a refund. LOL

I guess the moral of the story is, don't get baked before you go to the strip club.

16 comments

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imnumnutz

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15 years ago

never had an experience quite that bad. However, one time I got a single dance from a girl who was OK, but I didn't know she was a sweat bucket. She actually dripped perspiration all over me. couldn't get to the men's room fast enough to wash up.

Player11

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15 years ago

If I am gonna pay a dancer $170 then Its bc I am gonna get sex.

potheadpl

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15 years ago

Player11---I thought so, too. That's what she led me to believe. But no. I started to unbutton my jeans and she hit me with "That's extra...". You know, if she'd been more attractive I would have busted out the cash. This girl wasn't worth even the $170. Pretty bad, bro.

CTQWERTY

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15 years ago

Well, pothead, at least you didn't have the experience at Centerfold's in Columbus, OH. Otherwise you'd be in need of counseling. Fyi: I'm still considering small claims court for my Centerfolds' experience...

Dudester

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15 years ago

About twelve years ago, I had an hour to kill, so I dropped into a club. I had been there about 20 minutes when this 30ish dancer comes up. There's some conversation and I agree to a lapper. She climbs into my lap and suddenly I'm overwhelmed by a smell-like the combination of week old unwashed armpit, shit in a toilet-unflushed after 12 hours, and dried piss. The smell came from between her legs. About thirty seconds in I commanded her to stop. I paid her the 20 and begged her to go across the club from me.

slickpeter

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15 years ago

Pothead it would be a cold day in hell before any dancer ever got $170 out of me ----- youncanalways get full service for less than a $100 and have stars to do it for you. I guess that is what is good about Detroit ---- the economy is bad and women know that they have to be competitive

Clubber

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15 years ago

I think we all have. Beer goggles!

minnow

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15 years ago

Yeah, once. Many yrs. ago, a dancer with a cute looking face, and sweet sounding voice came up behind me, rested her head on my shoulder, and asked me for a dance. Turned out to be a "pregger". From that point forward, I was permanently cured of saying "yes" to dancers that do the "sneak up from behind" technique.

chandler

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15 years ago

Many times I've gone up to tip girls who didn't look so hot once I got there. Before agreeing to a dance, I always give them a pretty thorough up-close inspection.

harrydave

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15 years ago

A typical surprise is when a skinny dancer takes off her bikini top and her formerly voluptuous breasts do a free fall. My GF refers to them as deflated breasts, a characteristic of crack addicts.

shadowcat

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15 years ago

minnow reinforces my philosophy. Always keep your back to the wall.

jablake

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15 years ago

One benefit of not doing mind altering drugs.

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15 years ago

SCat, me too. I like to sit where I can see what's going on and who's approaching. Ironically I was thinking of starting a discussion on this topic of dancers who need to clean themselves better. What do we do? I suppose it's a factor of how well you know them and how bad it is.

It's rarely been a problem, but when it is, I usualy just cut out fast if I don't know the dancer. If I know her, I'll cut her some slack if it's just a minor hygiene indiscretion. But if it's not, my question is this--would you tell one of your favs to go clean up a specific part of her anatomy and the severity of the problem?

DandyDan

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15 years ago

I have a tendency to misjudge dancer's looks in the sense that most of the ones I misjudged were older than they look from farther away. On the other hand, I must admit one of my favorites falls into this category, but she is one of the best dancers I've ever met, which cancels out the fact she is older than she looks.

txtittyfan

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15 years ago

I have had a couple of instances where they look good from a distance, I get eye contact and show I am interested. Then as they close in I realize I have made a mistake. Also, beware of the dancers in flowing robes, it hides preggers, tats and fat.

Clubber

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15 years ago

Here is how I protect myself, well usually. If you see a dancer from afar or even close up as she walks the club, just wait. This serves a two-fold purpose. As she circulates, you can get an idea of her actions and what might be her limits and how many the see her up close get dances. Then just wait till she goes on stage and gets naked. Walk up and tip her for an up close look. What I sometimes do at this point is carry a $1 in one hand and a $5 in the other. If she looks like one that deserves more attention, use the 5. If she wasn't what you expect, just use the single. Of course this may only work well in clubs I frequent because the girls roam and they are nude clubs.

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