Insecure Dancer?

23 comments

• londonguy

  •

  15 years ago

  Steve, in my humble opinion a small minority of the most beautiful girls are more insecure than we might think., this is true whether or not they are strippers. At 26 and having been away for a period of time she was probably looking at the younger dancers and thinking that even at the young age of 26 that she couldn't compete. I am sure it's just a confidence issue. As far as complimenting girls is concerned I always try to do it in a unique way. You don't have to only comliment her looks, it could be her outfit, her perfume, make-up etc. There are many different ways to say the same things.
• chandler

  •

  15 years ago

  I've never known a woman who wasn't insecure about how she looked. Nor one who didn't like compliments, although I don't often hear strippers fishing for them that blatantly. Even a stripper who knows she's hot has her doubts. She thinks some days she's not that hot or wishes she were a different kind of hot, etc. etc. I don't think it's ever a bad idea to tell a stripper what you like about her looks. It's the way you say it that counts. The drunk guy at the tip rail isn't the only way to sound. It feels good to say it, too.
• chandler

  •

  15 years ago

  (Hadn't seen Londonguy's post when I posted.)
• Dougster

  •

  15 years ago

  Most of the most beautiful are ones are the most insecure about their looks, which is why they worked so hard to get that good looking. As for complementing them about it, it depends what your objective is.
• judyjudy

  •

  15 years ago

  Well, I can tell you guys this....flattery will get you everywhere.
• Clubber

  •

  15 years ago

  When I was in HS, I knew a beautiful girl that later became a well known TV star. She was anything but insecure in her younger years, but she told me that her problems were, most other girls dis-liked her because of her beauty, and most guys were afraid of it.
• how

  •

  15 years ago

  Many women, and a high percentage of dancers, have some self-esteem issues. Re-assurance is typically welcome. I think women do not see themselves accurately, much the same way as we all do not hear ourselves accurately (listen to a recording of your voice; that's how you really sound, but that's not how you hear yourself, due to acoustic modes in the skull). Telling a beautiful lady she is beautiful is almost always a fine idea, so long as it is done with discernible sincerity.
• Bella17

  •

  15 years ago

  Coming a girl, the inside scoop. Not all women have self esteem issues . I am a girl, and i have alot of female friends , and most, if not all of us, are content with the way we look, and are aware that our worth has nothing to do with our physical apearance. THat bieng said, it is an entirely different ball game when you are working as a dancer in a club, because you make money off of how attractive you are. THat doesnt mean that dancers dont think highly of themselves as an individual, it just may mean that shes worried about how much money she will be taking to the bank. It may suprise some of you that alot of women seperate thier work, from how they feel about themselves in the real world. Its a completely different thing when your not working, and people in your life appreciate you because of who you are as a whole peron, looks dont matter that much in the big picture.
• Bella17

  •

  15 years ago

  Also, the comment made by londonguy , seemed very accurate as well.
• MisterGuy

  •

  15 years ago

  Women like compliments...even if they hear them all the time. One of my favorites to give out (when rarely appropriate of course) is "don't change a thing" if a dancer looks especially "perfect" (as if there is such a thing) to me. You'd be surprised how many truly beautiful women are insecure about their looks... "You don't have to only comliment her looks, it could be her outfit, her perfume, make-up etc." Exactly.
• SuperDude

  •

  15 years ago

  Working in a SC is mostly about looks with a lot of competition. It's got to make some dancers insecure. Marilyn Monroe, towards the end, said "Eventually, gravity gets all of us." She was approaching 40, I think, and afraid of the physical changes of age.
• lopaw

  •

  15 years ago

  A sincere compliment given to anyone , male or female, is always appreciated. There is a big difference, tho, between telling a dancer "Gawd - you are so HOTTTTT!", and saying something like: "You are an absolutely stunning young woman". Might sound corny, but that first line they hear 1000 times a day. Saying basically the same thing in a much classier way can be received much [view link] least this has been my experience.
• Clubber

  •

  15 years ago

  lopaw, God, you are so HOTTT, and you are an absolutely stunning young woman! :)
• lopaw

  •

  15 years ago

  Clubber, LOL u smartass! ;)
• Dain

  •

  15 years ago

  Clubber, I saw the same thing several times, too. But mostly what I see nowadays is narcissism in gorgeous young women--and even in less than gorgeous ones. Well, as long as they give me a fair exchange, I'm not complaining.
• DandyDan

  •

  15 years ago

  I will second the opinion that all dancers are insecure in their looks. It's a competition amongst the dancers to give lapdances and if they get rejected by someone, they probably just assumed they had bad looks. One of the ironies in the business is that some of the most secure in their looks, at least of those I've met, are fat, or are otherwise obviously deficient physically, (for example, being old).
• hogsun

  •

  15 years ago

  Clubber what is your purpose in putting up the baby seal picture?
• Clubber

  •

  15 years ago

  hogsun, Other than to annoy the wackos, none. And, why not?
• steve229

  •

  15 years ago

  Thanks for the feedback. I like lopaw's line: "You are an absolutely stunning young woman". Said in a low voice, with a level gaze, at just the right moment -- yeah, I could see myself doing that.
• shadowcat

  •

  15 years ago

  hogsun: Clubber has answered this question before. It is just a way of showing his nickname. My picture is of my cat "shadow", doctored of course by photo shop. Gridgets picture is of her dog "gridget". Yoda uses the star wars character.lowpaw shows lesbians to reflect her life style. It is a shame that most users do not have names that they can match pictures to.
• minnow

  •

  15 years ago

  <<<<<<<< shadowcat- How's this for a relevant picture??? On original topic- dancers have varying degrees of insecurity- buying repetitive dances, and sincere, well-timed compliments should put that on the backburner.
• chandler

  •

  15 years ago

  I find that even the corniest compliments are received better when I give them in sort of an offhand manner, dropping them into conversation. Instead of telling her directly, "You are a totally hot young babe!" FULL STOP, I'll say something like, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind some company from a totally hot young babe." Then, "You know of any?" (Just kidding.) Anyway, it keeps things moving. The more blunt declaration just lays there. What's she supposed to do with that information? I think that men tend to focus too much on their choice of words and the facts they convey. They find it hard to understand that a hot woman can't just file away the fact that she is hot and be done with it. She likes to get reassurance of it, but she probably doesn't want you to make too big a deal of it.
• shadowcat

  •

  15 years ago

  minnow, Yes. Good one.