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I’ve never had a regular 9 - 5 job, never worked for an Employer or had the position of anything besides self-employed or an independent contractor. I’ve pretty much always used myself as entertainment - both in general gigs and adult gigs. There are jobs that I’ve done in the past where I was definitely naive, taken advantage of, and rolled with some punches either because I either really wanted the money or was afraid of getting the other person upset. I’ve taken long breaks from said work after getting fed up or finding something better, but then I would eventually return smarter, more efficient, and more assertive with my limitations regardless as to if it affected my money or not.

I get questions all the time as to whether I’ve done anything else besides dancing.
Guys: Enjoy this personal history lesson of living and learning through sex work.
Girls: If you’ve ever considered any of this work, I’d advise you to learn from my experiences and use them to prepare yourself if and when you start.
Both: Feel free to ask me questions after reading, but I won’t answer anything too incriminating nor will I share any personal links.

This is what I’ll be writing about where the order will be when I tried each line of work. I’ll put down my “then” experiences when I was a beginner, then I’ll put down my “now” experiences - obviously referring to how I handle the work now that I’m seasoned enough to know better.

If this segment doesn’t interest you, just find another in my articles to read as an alternative.
This will be a lengthy and mildly explicit article. I hope this entertains or at least intrigues you;


Webcam Modeling
Escorting/Companionship
**Lingerie/Nude Modeling**
Adult Films
Exotic Dancing

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3 ) Lingerie/Nude Modeling


THEN: [Mid 2013]

I always had fantasies of being a model of all kinds since I was a kid. It just never evolved into wanting to be an adult model until I experimented with camming and the like while studying in school. At this point, I’m already moved back in my grandparents’ house with no easy way to make money online anymore (as you can see in my Webcam Modeling segment.). At this point, I was willing to give anything a try just to get out of the house because I was under the roof of some very strict rules imposed as to where I could go/who I could see/how long I could be out without being questioned… at past 20 years old. My interest in traditional modeling resurfaced in my brain, and initially, I attempted to join ModelMayhem to start off my portfolio, but they were very anal about the verification process at the time so I didn’t get to join the network. So instead… I turn to good old Craigslist.

I made up this ‘model’ resume with my physical stats, how much experience I had with it (entry-level. lol), described what type of shoots I was looking to do, and attached some photos that one of my old roommates - who happened to be majoring in Photography - took of me and sent over my way. I posted it over to the looking for work section, and while I waited for responses, I browsed the Talent section to see if anyone in the field was looking for models. This was long before the FOSTA/SESTA bill came into play, so the section was loaded with ads for strip clubs, phony escort agency ads, body rub ads, etc, etc. Out of the masses, I did manage to find a handful of modeling posts where the OP wanted to actually take some photos of select girls and nothing more, so those were the ones I sent an email to.

The very first one that responded back to me was a guy that stated in his ad that he wanted to do a swimwear shoot and he offered $150 for 4 hours of my time. As a beginner, I figured that wasn’t too bad. He gave more details in his email asking if I was afraid of horses because he specifically wanted his models to pose with and on his horse (he owned a ranch, and whatever the purpose of the photos was, I didn’t question.). I have no problems with horses as I rode them all the time going to camps growing up, so I’m like “Sure, interesting concept.” We set a date and time to meet up and exchanged numbers in case anything came up.

I drive out to the designated location which took about 45 minutes to reach because it was in some far off countryside part of town that I’ve never had reason to go to, nothing but pickup trucks, tractor-trailers, farms and mowers along the way. We were meeting up at a Baptist church parking lot and I texted him saying that I had arrived. After about a 10 minute wait, I look out my window to see a kid that doesn’t look that much older than me (can’t remember if I was 21 yet or not) with a big brown horse in tow behind him. I get out the car once he’s in range and we exchange greetings. I was already wearing my swimsuit underneath my clothes, so I didn’t need to prep much at all for this ‘shoot’. He explains that we would be going into the forest/trail walk behind the church to find various spots to take pictures in, but the terrain might be hard to navigate through because it rained heavily the night before.

I casually asked if he had a lot of stuff/equipment he needed help carrying and he said no. His camera… was his iPhone. Okay then. Since I told him I had experience riding horses, I didn’t need any help getting on it (although I’ve never ridden one this big before.). I rode on top of it while the kid took the reigns to walk us through the trail to whatever highlight spots there were to take the photos in.

The nutshell of this photoshoot: Terrible. The actual taking of the photos was pretty quick easy to get into, but the time moving around, some bumps and hitches along the way, and the horse starting to rebel against this ‘photographer’ made the 4 hour shoot feel like a week. The wet terrain was absolutely awful. At some point, we crossed a dirt pathway where the mud was so thick and deep that the horse almost fell while I was on it. Photographer came over to stable it while I got down - and I ended up falling in the mud myself and cutting my leg against a lingering tree branch. So for part of this photoshoot, I was half-covered in mud and had a bloody leg - and the dude STILL wanted to take shots of me this way! He did take me up another path of the trail that had a wash station so that I could hose myself down of all the war paint and he got some sterile bandages for the cuts. We decided to switch roles where he rode the horse and I walked from then on, and the horse started to get tired and agitated with him and hardly listened to any of his riding commands. His solution was to whip the horse as much as he could with the reigns for at least 5 minutes every 15 minutes while I stood around and just nonchalantly observed my surroundings pretending that I wasn’t highly considering just walking out without the payment and going home. I couldn’t do that though because we were deep in a walking trail that I didn’t know any way around in, so I dealt with this for another half hour before he walked me back to the church parking lot.

He gave me the cash and he said that he would send the final edited shots to my email in a few days. We exchanged goodbyes, I drove back home, and a few days later was when I got the email with the photos. I saved 2 out of the 50 he took with his phone - which were both ones that were taken before I got all muddied and bloodied up. But even after a bit, I trashed those two. I didn’t want to be reminded of that shoot every time I saw them. Hah!

The shoots I got after this experience were slightly more professional but not by too much. A year later, I finally get approved to make a portfolio on ModelMayhem and connect with a much broader spectrum of photographers on there. Because my starter photos weren’t the best and my description wasn’t the best (it just screamed that I was a newbie to it all), I attracted nothing but weren’t-the-best photographers. I got back into shooting regularly not too long after I started stripping. The thing I didn’t seem to get until it was too late several times was that because the majority of these photographers are freelancers like myself, there was no monitoring or real security or contract as to how these guys were going to behave at minimum when a model works with them. This is a very common experience with new models, and these particular photographers are labeled as GWCs - Guys With Cameras. The ones that think they’re the hot shits because they have a $1000+ photography equipment but don’t know how to use more than half of it and/or don’t feel the need to act professional because you’re getting high-grade shots at the end of the day anyway. Some examples:

I had a lingerie and full nude photoshoot in an empty public park with a man in his late 60s. The shoot itself was a breeze and he acted pretty casually until I gave out that I was a dancer for work. He never acted out of line physically, but all the comments slowly poured out about how he used to take photos of strippers all the time and how he would get very turned on viewing their bodies at certain angles. The cherry on the cheesecake was when at the end of the shoot while we’re walking back to our cars, he asked if I “happened to notice” that he got hard while we were shooting. Out of the corner of my eyes, I glanced down to see there was a slight wet stain in the groin area of his jeans. “Nope.” Was all I said. I didn’t feel the desire to work with this guy again after that conversation.

I had my second paid photoshoot with a middle-aged guy that frequently traveled back and forth from Atlanta and Tampa. He had a major list of model references and was even published in a few magazines, so I figured this guy had to mean business. We met up, I signed the model release form (gives him the right to use the photos for whatever means of promotion, marketing, or display he wanted in exchange for the payment I asked for. Most of the time, this means the models won’t be getting the photos, but he let me have them anyway.). The shoot was actually great, he never made anything awkward, and we had exchanged numbers to stay in contact and schedule more work in the future. Then the conversation came up where he casually asked where I danced because he’s worked with a lot of dancers back home. I tell him “Oh, I work at suchandsuch” and he’s like “Maybe I’ll stop by some time!”
Then it got weird.
He did visit my club every so often, and whenever he did, it was obvious he wanted to do more… and more… and more each time. It got incredibly awkward for me because I thought I had developed a good work connection with him, and now here he is in the VIP asking me if it’s okay if he cums. I didn’t want this to bleed into whenever we shot together, so I straight up asked him if this was something I had to worry about while we did photoshoots, and of course, he said no but my gut was telling me otherwise for the longest while. I went by my instincts and soon just ceased contact with him. He never came into the club unless he asked if he could first, but I didn’t model for him anymore after that.

A third example is when I actually had a guy my age come to my apartment to do a lingerie shoot. His portfolio was very impressive and I liked the theme he had going on for most of them, and he sounded serious enough over MM, so we set something up. He sat in his car in the parking lot and texted me a bit first before he came up, asking me if it was okay if he brought up various boozes or hemp with him to take. He reasoned that he had some killer chronic anxiety, so all that along with cigarettes and a taking a xanny in the car would calm his nerves. Jesus. I said okay and gave him the okay to come in. He had his camera equipment and recreationals in each hand and went straight to setting up in the living room. He was actually pretty calm and collected while we did the shoot and just seemed shyer than he originally gave off talking on the site. The shoot was okay, although he took frequent drink and smoke breaks outside. When we finished, he said that he was expected to go pick up someone at the airport in two hours, so he asked if it was okay if he could “hang out” for a little while to sober up before heading on the road. Yep. I set myself up for this. I said he could stay for a little while and he ordered us a pizza and wings in appreciation. Long story short, he got real flirtatious while we were eating and watching tv, and it eventually led to him asking if I wanted to fuck. My response wasn’t immediate and I probably looked conflicted, so he took it as a no and didn’t put on any more pressure. 15 minutes later, he sees himself out. He did end up messaging me a month later sending sincere apologies for how unprofessional he acted while we worked together, understood if I never wanted to shoot with him again and that we couldn’t even if I wanted to because he moved back to his hometown in Pennsylvania.

Several more photoshoots I had throughout the year followed this pattern. Meet up, shoot, then see if they can get some ass. Naturally, I got fed up with the constant cycle and took a real long hiatus from MM and modeling in general to focus on dancing instead, because at the time it was just a hobby that helped build my self-confidence.

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WHAT ABOUT NOW?


[Late 2019 to present]

After that long timeline of embarrassment and dealing with the perverted and amateur, I remember back then I was thinking to myself “What is wrong with these guys?” but then I also asked, “What am I doing wrong?” Because I wasn’t catching on to the fact that there may have been two-factor circumstances. While these GWCs definitely were stepping over boundaries they had no business crossing, I was absolutely shitty at enforcing the boundaries myself sometimes due to my high level of social anxiety.

After some long thought and a 4 and a half year break, I decided to reboot my modeling journey, this time with a different presentation, a different description/intro, a different approach to exchanging messages between photographers, and of course a different attitude while in the midst of shoots. One of the main issues I had when I was new to modeling was that I was way too friendly or open with these guys, and that probably gave them the impression that I wanted to be friends or a potential fuck buddy rather than establishing a professional work relationship - that and I kept agreeing to work with guys that did their work just for the fun of it and not to expand their work and hopefully get into bigger gigs in the long run. I’m not unfriendly or stoic, but I don’t steer far from the topic of modeling and the project at hand while we’re talking. Once I updated my profile and updated my model credits (they act as references), I started seeing a trend of more seasoned photographers making contact with me.

As far as references go, if a photographer doesn’t have at least 2 recent testimonials, model credits, or references that I can contact to verify the kind of person they are, I don’t work with them. The Friends list and public comments mean nothing on ModelMayhem when it comes to legitimacy because a lot of people treat it like Facebook. I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve gotten from these “producers/studios/filmmakers” that said I had the chance to be featured on a headlining agency portfolio, wear some top of the line wardrobe for some top of the line photoshoots with top of the line photographers… only to see on their MM page that they had no credits, very few comments (and most were touring updates and not really praise or acknowledgment of the creator themselves.), 4000+ friends on their list, and then I’d go on their website to do a reverse image search to find that the model pictures they were using were stolen. Sometimes I just leave it at that and delete the mail, but sometimes I humor myself and look up the real social media pages for these models to see if they can confirm that the agency is bogus, and 100% of the time they are.

Portfolios are important too… obviously. However, there is a pretty common trend where some MM photographers won’t have too many photos in their portfolio, and this is usually because they’ve already got a substantial portfolio either on Instagram or their company website. They don’t go on MM too much and really only log in to post a Casting, which will temporarily give them a big boost of local model connections. Other than that, the legit photographers run into their own share of problems with some models on there, so kind of like me, they only go on MM when they feel that they need to.

Now the nature of my work is primarily lingerie and boudoir with the occasional fashion/glamour and fetish theme here and there. I no longer do nude shoots for free - or the official term in the modeling industry is TFP: Trade For Pics. Whether it’s implied nude, artistic nude, or erotic/explicit nudes, it’s no longer something I’m willing to do for the fun of it or the exposure. No pun intended.
The studios or photographers that offer compensation to have me model for them have given me minimal if not 0 issues compared to the TFP shoots I’ve done in the past (hell, even the Atlanta guy I shot with acted cool WHILE we were together to take photos. He only acted off when he started coming to my club.)
This has weeded out the GWCs tremendously, and while I don’t do nude shoots as often as I used to because of this new policy, the ones that I have done since I’ve returned have been nothing but fantastic, and the worst thing that would happen always related to the photos themselves (too blurry, too dark, too bright, I blinked, didn’t flex my hip the right way to make my butt stand out, etc.).

The only downside to doing paid shoots - well, not to me, but a decent number of other models - is that I have to take the reigns for the majority of the shoot. I only let the photographer give suggestions (as far as poses, angles and whatnot) if we’re doing a particular theme I’m not too familiar with or if they just have an absolutely positively great idea that they HAVE to share with me. I don’t mind mixing up where I figure out my own routine, poses, facial expressions (this, I need practice in. LOL) along with photographer suggestions, but if I’m being compensated, I’d like to keep the suggestions to a minimum.
The reason this is is that there is an abundance of fresh newbie models that are sending out rates up the yazoo to photographers (like.. $100 - $200 an hour no matter what type of shoot it is) which they make an agreement on, only for the girl to show up and not understand a damn thing about what she has to do besides stand there and force a smile. Only brought one outfit (what she’s wearing), doesn’t know any poses, way too stiff throughout, and wants the photographer to tell her EVERYTHING to do every step of the way. This is one of the easiest ways to piss off the photographer and possibly get blacklisted in the community.

In between the time contact is made between me and the photographer to the time we meet for a shoot is when I practice poses and work on my memory of good facial expressions, and of course, figure out what attire to bring. I bring my own wardrobe and accessories, I do my makeup beforehand but bring a bag of it anyway in case touch-ups are needed, and forms in case a model release needs to be signed.

In a nutshell, my experiences with freelance modeling recently compared to modeling 4 - 5 years ago have been a complete 180°, and I am more than completely satisfied with how my personal modifications have changed things for the better. Do I have a primary goal with doing this? Not in particular besides breaking through the barricade of GWCs, which I’ve successfully done. I’ve managed to get myself published in two online magazines, and while that wasn’t what I intended to have happen, now I feel that I could work on getting myself publicized more often and through bigger leagues. I have yet to do any contract work. It’s been very tempting because the agencies that have you represent them usually have a bigger following and big work opportunities (Had two different model coordinators from Suicide Girls ask if I wanted to work with them and one model from Ladies of Metal wanting me to tag-team with her), but I enjoy the flexibility and lack of restrictions that freelancing brings on. So this is what I’m comfortable with, I’m working on reaching higher and not settling for less, and of course, building my treasure trove of professional lewds. Will I share a lewd or two? Well… if you ask nicely, I might. But who knows? I kinda enjoy talking about whatever I want while maintaining anonymity/mystery here ~

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