What was once GFE is no longer the case

1Chanman
District of Columbia
Strip clubs were once a place where you could get a decent level of intimacy without it crossing the line or it turning into a mechanical, robotic experience. Back in the early 2000's, I frequented a variety of clubs across the Midwest and on the west coast. This is a take on how I believe strip clubs have evolved in a negative way.

During the 2000s, I found extras to be less frequent. When I talk about extras, I'm talking about an HJ, BJ, or FS. However, I think this was a good thing. I've got a lot of memories of strippers who not only have great lap dances, but were GFE without crossing the sex line. I'm talking full on making out with DFK, mutual touching without some type of full on sex, and talking and laughing that made me feel genuinely refreshed and good. These women did quite well, and I believe that if clubs went back to this, they'd be doing gangbusters. Yes, occasionally, I got an extra that crossed the line, but only because the intensity of what was going on between us was so strong and not some pre-negotiated act. And of course, I'd tip them extra because of that as well. These women helped me learn how to interact with other women in general because they were more apt to give a better experience if you had a good back and forth with them. For someone that was introverted and didn't know how to talk to women, it helped a ton. The touching and physical stuff also helped as well.

Unfortunately, this faded away as extras became more and more prevalent. I found more women just wanted to get you excited and get you finished as quickly as possible. Economically, it made more sense. Instead of investing the time and energy into 10-15 lap dances over the course of an hour and getting $300, you're now talking about getting the same amount for 15 minutes of work. And for a lot of these women, it's become quite mechanical. While this is good initially, a lot of men won't come back if they know it's just a quickie with no intimacy. While some men prefer this, I'd argue that more men would prefer the other way. Those experiences build lasting memories and a repeat customer base for these women. The other way is more of a forgetful cash transaction. And then, because of the standard this sets, you have less women willing to be intimate because the expectation is always sex at the end.

In a little while, I'll be headed to the Midwest again. I'm anxious to see if the mechanical, robotic experiences are still here, or if there's been a reversion back to what was a great strip club experience. I hope to have great reviews for upcoming visits, and for those that read this, please feel free to comment and let me know whether you agree with me or not.

14 comments

Latest

unclewillSea
5 months ago
I mean, do you really want to kiss a woman that just sucked off three other pl's?
minnow
5 months ago
In addition to the factors you mentioned, increased webcam (OF, c4s, etc) is at play. Dancers have the option of just lolling around a camera, and having a global audience of lonely horny guys throw money at her vs going into a local club with maybe 30 - 50 dudes, half who are cheap ass/broke, and hoping she can wheedle someone out of a few hundred $$.

Another factor probably the increase in "make it rain" popularity. Just twerk and have some show off throw a bunch of $$ at her vs actually having to converse with a total stranger and be groped by him.

Yep, it's a changing world.
wallanon
5 months ago
How do we upvote downvotes?
Book Guy
5 months ago
I also am an "intimacy seeker" rather than devoted to a rapid efficient finish. There are times when I want the finish, but generally I've found that the direct-service girls leave me a bit disappointed even if I do finish. I'm glad the places which offer reliable finish still exist, and I wish I had ready access to them (they're in other cities from me), but I continue to seek the "girlfriend for an hour" experience instead. I suspect I would pay at least the same, maybe a good deal more, for it, too.

I agree that clubs are changing toward the efficiency model. I think the internet is part of what is changing clubs overall, as Minnow mentioned. I also think the new prevalence of the "incel" phenomenon, as a movement and a sub-culture, is something to consider. Whether or not there are a lot of actual real "incels" or not is largely beside the point for me. Instead, just the fact that we know what that thing is, and the fact that it is rumored to exist at all, is enough to indicate that there's an increased lack of sexual release in our society. In the good ol' days, every college guy could get an Ugg or Fattie to bend over at a frat party. He might not have been proud of it and he probably didn't want to be seen dating her through the course of the week, but he was probably getting his rocks off. Now campus and young adult culture are so prevalent in the anti-male and anti-sex crusades that it's often the case that males aren't actually getting any outlet at all. In more Victorian times, men learned to expect female resistance, and learned to deal with it, by either overcoming it (there's cajolery, there's violent wrong-doing, there's charm, there's marriage, there's cheating on a marriage, etc.) or accepting it (not expecting sex and not getting it, is a LOT easier than expecting it and not getting it). To the contrary, in our times, we pretend that there's little to no resistance and that therefore there's no need to develop any skill at either overcoming or accepting resistance, when in fact that IS still a need to develop that skill. So it's not really that people are getting laid less, it's that there's a greater maldistribution of lays and of information about sex than ever before. The hypocrisy is really killing the kids. Consequently, the first order of business is getting the rocks off at all, in the first place. Hence increased prevalence of efficient rock-offing services.

So it seems to me. I could be wrong. But I'm sympathetic to the plight of the "incel" (though I don't really agree with any of them, their anti-female rants are simply misinformed and tend to assume that the author himself is the victim of wrongdoing). I think these young boys are having harmful initial experiences and need the leadership of strong older men to direct them through the minefields. The absence of such leadership, and the plight of those who therefore remain leaderless, is a general cultural shift toward disconnection. This change in clubbing, which the article outlines, is IMO part and parcel of that cultural change.
Jascoi
5 months ago
i love passionate sex!
and the oppertunity to experience it!
nausddef
5 months ago
For intimacy that's not crossing the line, try professional cuddling. As far as intimacy goes I think you get way more bang for your buck. These girls aren't "seducing" you but some are very nice platonic companions, and with a bit of luck and good chemistry they'll be willing to cross the line with you. It's a different kind of chase but it can be just as exhilarating as strip clubs.
Jascoi
5 months ago
i suppose with the right girl...
JasonMckin
5 months ago
You should read a very similar article I wrote about 8 month ago about ATFs. It is an economic issue though. With leakage to digital, the supply of dancers has shrunk esp since the pandemic. When supply decreases but demand stays, prices go up. So in places with big baller high rollers, the same GFE with ATFs exists. The PL money and highest quality of dancer motivates both to remain in the polyamorous extras filled relationship. But unless you can afford that first class service, you’re getting shitty economy service. (Remember the david spade snl skit with the flight attendants saying buh bye). The transition has been hardest on middle class PLs who used to be able to find ATFs and get GFEs much more frequently when first class was cheaper. What Amazon did to shopping malls after 2007 might be the story of what OF did here after 2019.
skibum609
5 months ago
You can eat at 7/11 instead of cooking at home, or going out to a restaurant, but it is an inferior experience. Same with non-romantic sex/cuddling partners. A lot of guys here seem to be looking for something in clubs that does not exist -a close, emotional, fun relationship, with great sex. Clubs cannot and will not replace this. You are supposed to have this in your life, with clubs as an occasional variety/evening out experience.
OldWhiteGuy
5 months ago
I have had the good fortune to find a beautiful, sexy, teasing, playful, intelligent young woman that delivers the old time strip club experience without crossing the line into the overt sexual acts.
The relationship grew from being attracted to her physically to being enamored with her personality and heart.
Inside the club there are physical exchanges of affection and outside the club we are best friends.
As a bonus, she will often suggest girls that she thinks I would enjoy "meeting".
OldWhiteGuy
5 months ago
A couple years ago a mid 30s stripper was retiring and I asked why because she was still very attractive and very popular.
She said she couldn't compete with the new breed of stripper.
I asked what she meant by that and she replied that she made a living being smart, attractive and teasing the daylights out of all the horny guys. Today, there were two girls in the dressing room complaining about a guy that wants to touch and caress and talk and the young stripper said, " Finally, I had to say, Hey just pull out your dick so I can suck you off and get done here.".
minnow
5 months ago
@OWG- There's a wide range of customer preferences ranging from "wham bam thank you ma'am" to "I just want to cuddle and talk for a while." I suspect that many "mongers" fall between these 2 extremes. It's obvious by posts/threads started on tuscl that there are plenty of members who would like those 2 girls.

@Jason M- Yep, leveraging the internet platform into income producing schemes is taking off these days. I just watched an interview with a 1st grade teacher in a GA Christian School who made $1M just for selling lesson plans to other teachers across the globe. She's not quitting her job, and is married to another teacher.
Now if a stripper can leverage OF, etal, platforms to make even 1/10th of that per year, why should she bust her heels 3 - 4 nights/wk in club ? Or she could still work in club, but "only do VIP's" or just hang out with reliable regular. Net effect on infrequent or out of town clubbers is a reduction in supply of available desirable dancers.
OldWhiteGuy
5 months ago
@minnow No doubt that the two different styles I mentioned are required and not by different guys. I thoroughly enjoy my ATF with the "romance" and the let's get down to business (some of whom she recommends) are required for balance
Alfredo_Darke
5 months ago
1chanman raises some interesting pints. Pre-Covid, I spent a fair amount of time at Mons Venus in Tampa. Tons of fine, naked women, but no extras. Eventual LDKs were as far as it went. But I really enjoyed some of the women there, and it was because they would spend some time with you, and be nice and playful. It would often be several songs of her cuddling up in my lap before any talk of dances even started. And since there weren't any extras, many of them were pretty creative and hot with their dancing. Of course, there were also the "Wanna dance?" and get it over types, but it wasn't too hard to find someone that would spend time with you.
After Covid, I heard that Mons had changed for the worse, re-discovered TUSCL, and found out you could get sex at the clubs. Went to Gold Club, got blown by a Cuban. It was terrible, as soon as we got into the room, it was all business, she couldn't wait to finish.
HOWEVER, I've also had some good experiences, where the girl was very nice and sweet while she reached up my shorts. I can see the logic that leads to the dancers favoring quickies, but you can still find some gems out there. It just might take a while.
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