Three Cities, Three Strikes

This article will cover 3 different visits in 3 different cities between 1980 and 2016 (Richmond VA, Milwaukee WI, and Jacksonville FL) that still stand out as one of my most disappointing visits. I resolved never to visit those cities clubs again, though I am reconsidering my stance on Jacksonville based on Tuscl reviews.

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RICHMOND VA: Even by 1980 standards, this visit was lame. My computed reference frame for what a strip club should be was based upon visits to Philly, a small town club just outside a military base, and a Daytona Beach visit back in the 70's. A sparse reference frame compared to today. The old, worn trailer building didn't deter me, even with flashing sign "Dancing Girls". I paid a perfunctory cover charge, but I didn't see any dancing girls just yet. When one dancer finally ambled up on stage, all she did was rub moisturizer on her legs, and sashay around a little. She was 6ish in hotness. When no other dancer showed after 20 minutes, I said to myself "screw this shit", and bailed.
Since then no reviews indicated that any Richmond VA strip club would be a worthwhile visit. Indeed, several Tuscl posters have tagged Richmond VA as a strip club Siberia due to low mileage and overpriced dances. Enough said!!

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MILWAUKEE WI: By the time of my 1995 weekend trip there, I had greatly expanded/elevated my computed reference frame for strip club visits. Within 2 years of this visit, I'd visited club cities by the likes of Tampa, Miami, East St. Louis, Indy, and about a half dozen "OK" city's clubs. I was expecting an OK visit to Milwaukee, based on "Exotic Dancer Review" reader comment praising downtown Milwaukee clubs for having "plenty of dancers and cheap beer."
Further perusing the EDD, I noticed that "Airport Lounge" advertised availability of lap dances and a dress code of "clean casual, no motorcycle attire."
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So Saturday rolls around with me trying the blue collar downtown clubs (2 of 'em, don't recall their names) first. Well, there were plenty of dancers (mid-range, no standout hotties) and cheap beer. Trouble was, there were no lap dances available (there was a bachelor party at one of them, I'd already become jaded about them.) Just a bunch of dudes drinking beer and throwing singles on stage. Not my idea of a great strip club visit.
Arriving at Airport Lounge, things look a bit better. Dancers and wait staff more attractive (I'd peg dancer hotness level as 6-8.) Trouble was, I couldn't get a lap dance to save my life there. Dancers either disappeared to dressing room after set, or were already taken.
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The thing that really took the cake was a drunk dude barreling into the restroom, almost bumping into me by washroom sink, and spraying his vomit over an adjacent mirror. A few seconds later, a large bouncer who looked like a dead ringer for "Lurch" of the Addams Family asked me if I'd seen anybody resembling the drunk patron. I responded that he was probably in one of the stalls barfing his guts out, and left for good.
To Jwall 132 who recently had review published: Here's the story that I promised you in my upvote comments section, and I'm sticking to it.

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JACKSONVILLE FL: Except for Orlando FL, my visits to 4 other FL cities were mostly positive, I started this 1996 weekend visit with an optimistic outlook. I planned to try Doll House (a nude club) first.
Upon perusing the Yellow Pages in my hotel room, I notice a club listed under both "Night Clubs", and "Restaurants." "Solid Gold" (maybe it was Gold Club or Gold Something, it's gone out of business since then) was located adjacent to Craig Airport on Doolittle Dr. Craig Field is home to several corporate flight department, some with rich Jacksonville bankers. Already I'm formulating images of a Jacksonville version of Men's Club (Dallas). A phone call to club has manager extolling the club's steak dinners, and air conditioning/ventilation fan system that removed smoke odors.
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My arrival at Doll House doesn't get off to a good beginning, starting with their assigned seating policy with bouncer host seating me against the back wall far from stage. Post 10pm arrival is packed with a bunch of young horny sailors (Jacksonville is a navy town). How does one enjoy a nude stage show from the back wall, walking up to stage to tip a dancer was untenable proposition. Oh well, dancers did circulate for tips and possible table dances. The idea of a table dance in open area didn't appeal that much to me, still I sampled a few token dances. Dancers were reasonably attractive, but I had a drunk old hag of a dancer stumble on lap uninvited, and asked me what I'd do if she spilled her drink on my pants. Dancer was not amused by my response of "I'd send you the laundry bill." By then my patience had worn thin. I left club, mentally crossing Doll House off my list of clubs to visit on a Saturday night.
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Sunday night I was looking forward to a steak dinner at the Gold, making a point of arriving at club early evening, and then enjoying seeing both day and night shift dancers, NOT. The sparse parking lot should have clued me in. The waiter said that cook hadn't showed yet but would be arriving shortly. I order my bourbon and soda drink. Between the other patrons and their interactions with few dancers on shift, I'm thinking "hell, this place seems more like a redneck roadhouse than a supposed 4 - star restaurant/club. The observed mileage didn't excite me that much, the 6ish dancers wore granny panties. After about an hour or so, my stomach was rumbling and patience wearing thin, I put Gold in my rearview mirror, and hustle over to a Chinese buffet on the main drag a few mile away.
I don't mean to knock redneck roadhouses, just don't try to pretend you're something that you're not. To add insult to injury, I probably got Montezuma's revenge later that night from the dirty ice cubes in my drink or else from the Chinese buffet.

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CONCLUSIONS/LESSONS: By now many Tuscl mongers know to avoid peak weekend nights, and not to lean too much on sketchy reviews, particularly if writers opinion of what makes a good visit is different than yours. (downtown Milwaukee WI visit). It sometimes pays to have 2nd choice plans if Plan A isn't working out, but neither Jacksonville night had me feeling some good mojo. Sometimes, even with good Tuscl resources one still needs to just "live and learn."