How I lost 5 grand on an air dance

Friday night.

Los Angeles, California

2011, Warm Spring night

I was feeling good that night. I was feeling real good. Good as I ever would. So good I had mad wood. It hit me hard. Not quite as hard as my dick but still pretty hard. Strip Club. It had to be. Yes sir. There could be nothing else. I knew the outfit I needed. When shit just absolutely has to happen. When you bring big funds you got to bring out the big guns. Big fun. I throw on my three piece white suit, Rick Dugan classic. Looking sexy as all hell. Downtown I go. Grin on my face. Playpen is the place.

Walk in. Clearly I’m the sexiest dude in the club. Looking at tons of beautiful ladies. Not quite like me but I like what I see. I saw the one I wanted. Ass the size of Neptune, no...bigger, Jupiter. Puerto Rican girl, busty, big stary eyes, she had spunk. Robalina was her name. I stared at her until our eyes met. I then nodded. She knew what was up. She nodded back. She then went to the bathroom for 45 minutes (was she taking a shit???) I waited patiently but I looked fresh as hell so I didn’t mind. She came my way. Curiousity was killing me. And I had I white suit on. I just had to make sure “Girl did you just take a dump?” She dodged question. “Listen up sexy boy, I’m gonna rock your world” I respond with confidence “Let’s see you what you got girl!”

She stands up and turns around. Ass blocks all light in my view. The DJ then puts on that one Milli Vanilli song “Girl you know it’s true” The DJ must have been fucking with the club because just like in real life, the song starts going on repeat

Cause girl you know Cause girl you know

She shakes her ass back and forth

ass to the left ass to the right ass to the left ass to the right

Cause girl you know Cause girl you know Cause girl you know

I was mezmerized

I was hypnotized

I was paralyzed

My dick was oversized Circumcised

But I was compromised

“Cash” she says Cash I give “Money” she says Money I give “Dollars” she says Dollars I give ATM she says To the ATM I go She holds my hand, guides me, before I know it I’m drawing more money. I do this multiple times. I can hardly remember it. My conscious tries to fight back “NOOOOOOOOO ROBALINA!!!!!!!!!!” She immediately Stevied my ass muffling all cry’s for aid I still couldn’t resist She had trouble saying Muddy she kept prounouncing it like Marica Mamon or some shit like that. Bitch learn English.

Again the booty goes back and forth

left right left right

cause girl you know cause girl you know

Me in deep trance Girl in an air dance!

I couldn’t help it. Like a green river, dollars leaked from my hands and into her Dora the Explorer themed lingerie.

By the end of the song my account was cleaned out. 5K. Gone like that. One song. Still had the nerve to ask for a tip. But I did get her number for a date sometime though. I felt there might have been something there. Still waiting on a text back. She totally will, she’s probably just been busy.

I would probably do it all over again (just down the road though I’m low on funds right now due to this incident)

hits play on boom box to some Milli Vanilli