How I lost 5 grand on an air dance

Muddy
USA
Friday night.

Los Angeles, California

2011, Warm Spring night

I was feeling good that night. I was feeling real good. Good as I ever would. So good I had mad wood. It hit me hard. Not quite as hard as my dick but still pretty hard. Strip Club. It had to be. Yes sir. There could be nothing else. I knew the outfit I needed. When shit just absolutely has to happen. When you bring big funds you got to bring out the big guns. Big fun. I throw on my three piece white suit, Rick Dugan classic. Looking sexy as all hell. Downtown I go. Grin on my face. Playpen is the place.

Walk in. Clearly I’m the sexiest dude in the club. Looking at tons of beautiful ladies. Not quite like me but I like what I see. I saw the one I wanted. Ass the size of Neptune, no...bigger, Jupiter. Puerto Rican girl, busty, big stary eyes, she had spunk. Robalina was her name. I stared at her until our eyes met. I then nodded. She knew what was up. She nodded back. She then went to the bathroom for 45 minutes (was she taking a shit???) I waited patiently but I looked fresh as hell so I didn’t mind. She came my way. Curiousity was killing me. And I had I white suit on. I just had to make sure “Girl did you just take a dump?” She dodged question. “Listen up sexy boy, I’m gonna rock your world” I respond with confidence “Let’s see you what you got girl!”

She stands up and turns around. Ass blocks all light in my view. The DJ then puts on that one Milli Vanilli song “Girl you know it’s true”
The DJ must have been fucking with the club because just like in real life, the song starts going on repeat

*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*

She shakes her ass back and forth

*ass to the left*
*ass to the right*
*ass to the left*
*ass to the right*

*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*

I was mezmerized

I was hypnotized

I was paralyzed

My dick was oversized
Circumcised

But I was compromised

“Cash” she says
Cash I give
“Money” she says
Money I give
“Dollars” she says
Dollars I give
ATM she says
To the ATM I go
She holds my hand, guides me, before I know it I’m drawing more money. I do this multiple times. I can hardly remember it. My conscious tries to fight back
“NOOOOOOOOO ROBALINA!!!!!!!!!!”
She immediately Stevied my ass muffling all cry’s for aid
I still couldn’t resist
She had trouble saying Muddy she kept prounouncing it like Marica Mamon or some shit like that. Bitch learn English.

Again the booty goes back and forth

*left*
*right*
*left*
*right*

*cause girl you know*
*cause girl you know*

Me in deep trance
Girl in an air dance!

I couldn’t help it. Like a green river, dollars leaked from my hands and into her Dora the Explorer themed lingerie.

By the end of the song my account was cleaned out. 5K. Gone like that. One song. Still had the nerve to ask for a tip. But I did get her number for a date sometime though. I felt there might have been something there. Still waiting on a text back. She totally will, she’s probably just been busy.

I would probably do it all over again (just down the road though I’m low on funds right now due to this incident)

*hits play on boom box to some Milli Vanilli*












18 comments

Latest

bruceleeroy
6 years ago
Damn 5k?!?! Wtf? What is this? Why would you do that? 5k!!!!!!!!
gSteph
6 years ago
Damn. 5k. For that I'd want a nipple twist. Lol. I just know you're kidding. Right?
Fun writing.
Lone_Wolf
6 years ago
5k? One song? Air dance? Doubt it
clubdude
6 years ago
LMAO! I don't feel too bad about that $80 I dropped on some lame dances now!
nicespice
6 years ago
Erm, idk about you but my bank doesn’t allow me to even withdraw 1k from an atm, let alone 5k.

From your reviews I thought you were a real person. Now I’m suspicious :o
TFP
6 years ago
@nicespice my bank allows me to change the amount I want to withdraw up to 1500 on the fly. If I want higher than that than I just need to call in and answer a series of challenge questions for a temporary change.
Not sure what the limit is but I remember changing it to $3000 for my TJ trip.
Countryman5434
6 years ago
Lol at this
Jascoi
6 years ago
what an imagination. more like a dream. (i hope.)
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
Yeah - $5k is quite a strecth - perhaps doing VIPs in a Manhattan shark club but not on one dance.

I think you were shooting for shock-value and you overshot - or you were drunk writing.
rogertex
6 years ago
Poetry !

great parody on everyday life of rickdugan - who I hope took this in stride :-)
... more Muddy we want more
lurkingdog
6 years ago
I’m with you, NiceSpice— calling BS (but it was still entertaining)
Muddy
6 years ago
Look to all the non believers all I gotta say is

GIRL YOU KNOW ITS TRUUUUUUEEEEE!!!!!
OOOOOOOOH OOOOOOOHH OOOOOOH
I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!
nicespice
6 years ago
I certainly hope you love me.

Can we have a $5k dance together? ;)
Muddy
6 years ago
^^^What do you think I’m some chump nice? Lol I’m a battle hardened strip club veteran now. Even Papi and Subra are all up in my PMs for advice.





3K not a penny higher!
nicespice
6 years ago
Lol smash that like button
vajmon
6 years ago
I'd maybe believe 5k pesos or 5k Venezuelan dollars... otherswise OP's story was funny as hell, LMFAO!
twentyfive
6 years ago
Way to go Muddy channel your inner Larry Fisherman, let us know when you get to 30K
MackTruck
6 years ago
Lol
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