How I lost 5 grand on an air dance
Muddy
USA
Friday night.
Los Angeles, California
2011, Warm Spring night
I was feeling good that night. I was feeling real good. Good as I ever would. So good I had mad wood. It hit me hard. Not quite as hard as my dick but still pretty hard. Strip Club. It had to be. Yes sir. There could be nothing else. I knew the outfit I needed. When shit just absolutely has to happen. When you bring big funds you got to bring out the big guns. Big fun. I throw on my three piece white suit, Rick Dugan classic. Looking sexy as all hell. Downtown I go. Grin on my face. Playpen is the place.
Walk in. Clearly I’m the sexiest dude in the club. Looking at tons of beautiful ladies. Not quite like me but I like what I see. I saw the one I wanted. Ass the size of Neptune, no...bigger, Jupiter. Puerto Rican girl, busty, big stary eyes, she had spunk. Robalina was her name. I stared at her until our eyes met. I then nodded. She knew what was up. She nodded back. She then went to the bathroom for 45 minutes (was she taking a shit???) I waited patiently but I looked fresh as hell so I didn’t mind. She came my way. Curiousity was killing me. And I had I white suit on. I just had to make sure “Girl did you just take a dump?” She dodged question. “Listen up sexy boy, I’m gonna rock your world” I respond with confidence “Let’s see you what you got girl!”
She stands up and turns around. Ass blocks all light in my view. The DJ then puts on that one Milli Vanilli song “Girl you know it’s true”
The DJ must have been fucking with the club because just like in real life, the song starts going on repeat
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
She shakes her ass back and forth
*ass to the left*
*ass to the right*
*ass to the left*
*ass to the right*
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
I was mezmerized
I was hypnotized
I was paralyzed
My dick was oversized
Circumcised
But I was compromised
“Cash” she says
Cash I give
“Money” she says
Money I give
“Dollars” she says
Dollars I give
ATM she says
To the ATM I go
She holds my hand, guides me, before I know it I’m drawing more money. I do this multiple times. I can hardly remember it. My conscious tries to fight back
“NOOOOOOOOO ROBALINA!!!!!!!!!!”
She immediately Stevied my ass muffling all cry’s for aid
I still couldn’t resist
She had trouble saying Muddy she kept prounouncing it like Marica Mamon or some shit like that. Bitch learn English.
Again the booty goes back and forth
*left*
*right*
*left*
*right*
*cause girl you know*
*cause girl you know*
Me in deep trance
Girl in an air dance!
I couldn’t help it. Like a green river, dollars leaked from my hands and into her Dora the Explorer themed lingerie.
By the end of the song my account was cleaned out. 5K. Gone like that. One song. Still had the nerve to ask for a tip. But I did get her number for a date sometime though. I felt there might have been something there. Still waiting on a text back. She totally will, she’s probably just been busy.
I would probably do it all over again (just down the road though I’m low on funds right now due to this incident)
*hits play on boom box to some Milli Vanilli*
Los Angeles, California
2011, Warm Spring night
I was feeling good that night. I was feeling real good. Good as I ever would. So good I had mad wood. It hit me hard. Not quite as hard as my dick but still pretty hard. Strip Club. It had to be. Yes sir. There could be nothing else. I knew the outfit I needed. When shit just absolutely has to happen. When you bring big funds you got to bring out the big guns. Big fun. I throw on my three piece white suit, Rick Dugan classic. Looking sexy as all hell. Downtown I go. Grin on my face. Playpen is the place.
Walk in. Clearly I’m the sexiest dude in the club. Looking at tons of beautiful ladies. Not quite like me but I like what I see. I saw the one I wanted. Ass the size of Neptune, no...bigger, Jupiter. Puerto Rican girl, busty, big stary eyes, she had spunk. Robalina was her name. I stared at her until our eyes met. I then nodded. She knew what was up. She nodded back. She then went to the bathroom for 45 minutes (was she taking a shit???) I waited patiently but I looked fresh as hell so I didn’t mind. She came my way. Curiousity was killing me. And I had I white suit on. I just had to make sure “Girl did you just take a dump?” She dodged question. “Listen up sexy boy, I’m gonna rock your world” I respond with confidence “Let’s see you what you got girl!”
She stands up and turns around. Ass blocks all light in my view. The DJ then puts on that one Milli Vanilli song “Girl you know it’s true”
The DJ must have been fucking with the club because just like in real life, the song starts going on repeat
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
She shakes her ass back and forth
*ass to the left*
*ass to the right*
*ass to the left*
*ass to the right*
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
*Cause girl you know*
I was mezmerized
I was hypnotized
I was paralyzed
My dick was oversized
Circumcised
But I was compromised
“Cash” she says
Cash I give
“Money” she says
Money I give
“Dollars” she says
Dollars I give
ATM she says
To the ATM I go
She holds my hand, guides me, before I know it I’m drawing more money. I do this multiple times. I can hardly remember it. My conscious tries to fight back
“NOOOOOOOOO ROBALINA!!!!!!!!!!”
She immediately Stevied my ass muffling all cry’s for aid
I still couldn’t resist
She had trouble saying Muddy she kept prounouncing it like Marica Mamon or some shit like that. Bitch learn English.
Again the booty goes back and forth
*left*
*right*
*left*
*right*
*cause girl you know*
*cause girl you know*
Me in deep trance
Girl in an air dance!
I couldn’t help it. Like a green river, dollars leaked from my hands and into her Dora the Explorer themed lingerie.
By the end of the song my account was cleaned out. 5K. Gone like that. One song. Still had the nerve to ask for a tip. But I did get her number for a date sometime though. I felt there might have been something there. Still waiting on a text back. She totally will, she’s probably just been busy.
I would probably do it all over again (just down the road though I’m low on funds right now due to this incident)
*hits play on boom box to some Milli Vanilli*
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18 comments
Fun writing.
From your reviews I thought you were a real person. Now I’m suspicious :o
Not sure what the limit is but I remember changing it to $3000 for my TJ trip.
I think you were shooting for shock-value and you overshot - or you were drunk writing.
great parody on everyday life of rickdugan - who I hope took this in stride :-)
... more Muddy we want more
GIRL YOU KNOW ITS TRUUUUUUEEEEE!!!!!
OOOOOOOOH OOOOOOOHH OOOOOOH
I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!
Can we have a $5k dance together? ;)
3K not a penny higher!