Earn Respect by Giving Respect
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The head of floor security walked over and offered to show them to a table, a handsome gesture I thought. They followed him to a table less than five feet from the stage and hooted at their good fortune. Again, not one dollar left their hands and the floor man walked away with a hard to define look.
Time, drinks and dancers passed as the young men enjoyed themselves and handed over their money with no hesitation. Eventually, one of the young men noticed that they were not being served as often as other tables and their drinks took longer to arrive. All of this delivered in a voice just over loud for the circumstances.
The young man rose and headed to the bar, obviously intent on getting this service issue resolved. He flopped down in the chair next to mine and started making gestures for attention to the bartender. When she looked my way, I winked and shook my head. She gave no notice of having seen me but walked the other way. The young man was now headed for a temper tantrum and a quick exit, so I leaned over and said,"Would you rather get thrown out on your ass or learn how to get the service you think you deserve?"
He looked at me with equal parts of uncertainty and bad attitude before uttering the standby of today's youth. "Fuck you, old man", he said and smiled as he enjoyed his courage. I smiled in return and watched as the floor chief leaned over the young man and began a lengthy one sided low toned conversation. The young man's expression quickly faded into one of extreme discomfort and perhaps a touch of something else. The security chief straightened, gave me a quick shrug and walked a few steps away.
To his credit, the young man turned to me and immediately offered me an apology for his behavior and asked if I could forgive him. I assured him that his apology was accepted and nothing more need be said as honor had been satisfied on both sides. The last part might have gone over his head.
He then asked me what I meant about learning to get service and would I mind telling him? "I am happy to share what I know with you and it will not take long, so listen carefully.", I said with an even tone. "Look around you", I said, "everyone you see, except customers, is working for tips." He looked at me blankly and said, "So?".
I sighed, sure that I had never been this slow. "How many people have you tipped since you got here?", I asked. He replied quickly, "Every dancer I talked with or..." "That is my point." as I interrupted. "What about the front door girl?, What about the floor security men? What about the bartenders and servers?".
His mouth almost dropped open and he said,"But I don't have enough money to tip them all!". "Look", I said, "no one expects young fellows to have a ton of cash but that does not mean you can't offer something." "I guarantee you that offering the floor chief or door girl a five dollar bill will get you more respect than it does me, do you understand?" He astonished me by saying, "You mean the act of giving is more important than the amount, as long as it is not insulting." "Exactly correct.", I said. "These people know with a five second glance that if I am handing out ones and fives that I am offering little respect. Conversely, if I come in and greet the door girl with a ten dollar bill, the floor chief with a twenty and so forth, then I am behaving with respect for them and that they will remember." He looked at me for a few seconds and nodded his head. He rose to leave and offered me his hand, saying "Thank you, sir. I appreciate your kindness." I stood also, in respect for him, and shook his hand. This byplay did not go unnoticed I was certain.
As I rose for the last time to leave, the security chief appeared with my coat and helped me into it with a smile. He shook his head and pushed my hand down gently when I reached for my pocket. "Enjoy your evening, sir and hurry back." as he held the door for me.
I offered my salutations and tthe very patient young lovely whose gentle stroking of my leg never faltered.
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19 comments
Good points and a worthwhile POV.
But I am not sure about the floor guy; the door girl; and bartender; working *solely* on tips – I assume; although I can be wrong; that these folks are paid a salary of at least minimum wage if not more – although I can see them definitely appreciating tips – but it’s not like dancers and waitresses which I assume rely *solely* on tips and should def be tipped.
IMO – this tipping thing has gotten a bit out of hand where many a place/employees (even outside of SCs) expect a tip.
Personally I don’t even like the tip system and to the best of my knowledge is not even used in Europe or other parts of the world.
I think this tipping thing is a way for businesses to shift the burden of employee cost/salary onto customers - and this tip thing is a bit out of hand in that in today’s U.S. society one is expected to tip even if the service is bad or else one is shamed or made to feel as if they are a bad person.
I don’t like spending $$$ on what I don’t need nor want – I don’t want to be tipping the guy who takes my car keys (I can and prefer to park myself); I don’t want to have to tip the guy opening the door for me (I can open the door myself); I don’t want to tip the guy showing me to a seat (I can do that myself); I don’t what to tip the guy who just hands me a piece of paper towel in the bathroom to dry my hands (I can do that myself).
Services should be consumed by those whom want them and they should pay for them – services should not be thrust upon everyone and expect everyone to pay up even if they are not interested in the service.
I couldn't agree more with your comments. They are spot on. Tipping in this country has gotten way out of hand. It is certainly a way for the business owner to shift the financial burden.
I travel a lot and always tip the motel rooms maids. I suspect most people do not do this but routinely tip the bellman, bartenders, waitresses. I am convinced that the maids are the hardest working and least paid employees in the club. I rarely use the services of bellmaen or bartenders so tipping them is not an issue.
At the clubs, I tip those dancers that appeal to me. I don't think I have ever tipped a bouncer. I am sure he is paid more than minimum and probably gets a cut of dancer tips. The "tip out" structure in most strip clubs is a complex system. I don't understand it either. If the tax guys ever figured it out they would have a field day.
I tip the waitress.
I tip the bathroom troll.
I tip dancers if they do something special for me, like motorboating.
I tip the bouncer who escorts me and the stripper into a VIP booth.
Isn't that enough tipping?
I don't tip the man who opens a door for me or shows me a table. I don't tip the shot girl who wants me to buy her a shot. I don't tip dancers who just walk around on stage and don't do anything for me.
This story has a nice moral to it, but seems fictional. Why tip staff $40 or more unless you are getting something in return. Give the waitress a couple extra bucks for drinks yeah, but who cares about the doorman unless I need extras in the VIP and he can help me?
Here's a useful guide:
Parking attendant: None if there is a parking fee. Else $1-$2.
Doorgirl: $2 if she smiles and mentions specials of the day.
Bouncer: Non existent in Texas. Other places I have tipped $2-$5 for out of ordinary acts.
Waitress: $1 & change per drink. 20% for food - if service is prompt and delivery is accurate.
Bathroom Troll: $1 for sink/towel service. $2 if I pick up a gum/freshner.
DJ: None, unless I send him a play request through a dancer ($5)
Manager: None.
Chef: $5 if the food was well prepared (through waitress)
Dancer: Everything gets spent here. Tip on stage if performance is good ($2-$5). Tip when sitting on my lap if her stories (SS) are good and her seduction is good ($2-$20). (Lap Dances are priced per club rules and not considered tipping)
However, the OPs story (made up, I presume) does not explain why the young customers got "no service".
They paid their cover, and parking and paid for drinks, and dances and stage shows.
Sure if someone did something exceptional - these kids would have tipped too.
Also: Tipping should be done "after" exceptional service.
OPs story seems to teach us "ordinary service" should follow tipping - and "good service" would only follow excessive tipping. This "tipping" crap should not extend its boundaries. Once it gets annoying to the point that a customer is not able to enjoy the main event - it'll go the China/Japan route (no tipping anywhere).
Name this damned club. I'll put on my blacklist.
It's like unless you are a regular or an old man, you will not be noticed much anyways.
The tipping thing has pissed me off so much that I am skeptical about generously tipping unless the server is really good these days.
A month back I was in El Paso in Cabaret Club and I was approached by a stripper for a dance to which I agreed. As soon as we sat at the table for a dance, another girl who was serving drinks followed and asked if I wanted to buy a drink for the stripper. I was okay with that as i wanted a good dance from the stripper. The waitress charged me freaking $8 for the drink. I took the $2 back and didn't tip her to which she was pissed at me later. She actually said that "you don't tip" shit to me later. First, the drink you got was $8 which was far more than what the bartender charged as I had taken the same drink earlier and it cost me like $2. Why would I tip for an overcharged drink and that too you came and asked and for the stripper and even not for me. These guys working at the clubs are real gold diggers and expect tip for some crappy service and overpriced stuff.
Sorry, but I have just lost my slight inclination to tip anyone.
One of the local bartenders never charged me for my water or coke, even refills, so she gets a larger tip. One of the bouncers walked me out to my car with his umbrella during a deluge one time, so he gets something from me most times as well.
Always remember money is the worlds most powerful aphrodisiac.
Around my home town (Detroit) here is my usual tipping chart:
Valet: Usually costs $6 or $7. I'll usually just give them a $10 bill.
Door girl: Doesnt really do anything. Unless you wear a coat in (which I rarely ever do), then it's a buck or two for coat check.
Front door/bouncer: Usually asks if you want a booth, table or bar. If you want to sit in a booth, it's usually $20 to him. I've been sitting at the bar most times, especially if by myself (free).
Bartenders: Tip a $1 a beer or mixed drink. Barhroom troll, usually $1 (out of all of the tipping, I dislike the bathroom troll the most. It's the most annoying to me). If there is no VIP tax, I'll usually give the bouncer a $5 for the room for my girl and me.
I've never tipped a DJ or a house mom. The dancers are supposed to take care of them.
I don't buy shots, so the shot girls usually don't get any tips from me because I'm not doing shots.
And, of course, if you want, there's always the girls on stage for tips. But I rarely do that. I'd rather get some private $25 dances then give a dancer a bunch of $1's or a $5 or $10 just for dancing on stage in front of everyone. But, that's just me.
You guys are unbelievable. If it doesn't result in an immediate, tangible advantage to you, you see no value in it. You realize that makes you dumber than most strippers (whose intelligence gets crapped on here a lot)? They know that cultivating a good relationship with you over time will result in more money in the long run.
As to the one who talked about waitresses/bartenders and tips, they depend on them greatly. The legal minimum wage gets tossed out the window if you have a job where you receive tips (at least, that's how it "works" here in the US). Most wait staff are given a base pay of between 1/3 and 1/2 of the legal minimum wage. Is it right that employers are shifting to the customer the financial responsibility of their employees? Probably not. But that, my dear, is the way it is. Bitching about it is quixotic.
As to specifics:
* I'm a sexist. If the door person is female, she gets a tip (even though all she did was take my money). If the door person is male, he gets a "thank you". Similarly, female bartenders generally get bigger tips than male bartenders. (All in all, this makes sense to me. I'm there to see women. Males in SCs are nothing but a necessary evil.)
* While I won't make statements about all bouncers, I personally have never met a bouncer who wasn't a self-absorbed asshole with an IQ of negative 23. Only one got any money from me, and that's just because it was the first club I'd ever been in where bouncers "escort" you to VIP rooms -- it's usually waitresses around here. AND he was 10 times more nosy and restrictive than any waitress. First and last VIP in that club.