15 Strippers we could do without (Types 1-5)

OP must be bored, or else had a bad club night. Are dancer types 6-15 installment forthcoming in the near future ? Some comments on #1 and 4.

#1- That type is extremely rare in the clubs I've been to. If anything, dancers that overdo perfume, spray tan, or glitter are far more common.

#4- Agree that listening to money problems can be a buzz kill. On the flip side, some of these sob story dancers turned out to be more motivated to deliver a good performance.

Thanks for the comments, Minnow. Types 6-15 have been submitted and are under review.

#1 - Where I live there are a number of "dive" clubs. You run into that. However, I have a friend who works at really nice clubs and says she has heard customers say the same about some of her co-workers. You're lucky for not having experienced it. You're right about the spray tan and glitter.

#4 - Good call. These girls depress me so much that I've never pursued that. Maybe in the future . . .

If you happen to be the select gentleman that Number 3 decides to spend her time with, Number 3 can be lots of fun.

Are you Canadian?

I know another type. We chat at the bar and have a cocktail. We retire to the smoking area for another cocktail and some 420. We do a 1/2 hr. cr. I smile.

Good article.

I think you hit on all 5 of these. But I totally agree with minnow that number 1 is rare. However, it does happen because I've heard other TUSCL'ers complain about it.

Number 2 annoys me the most. You pretty much explained why in the paragraph you wrote. I've had a few occasions where I wanted to get a dance from a particular dancer, but she just sat in the corner talking to a customer for a long period of time. What puzzled me even more is that it never seemed like it was "her turn" to get up on stage and dance.

GoVikings,

Thanks for the comments.

• Type 1 is so awful, you just can't get forget her easily. When it happens again, it's enough to keep you away from the club for awhile.

• Clubs really need to get after the lazy ones. It's one thing to sit with a regular when the club is slow, but to keep other customers waiting around is ridiculous. I can't count the number of times I've seen a girl sit forever with a regular who ends up buying just one dance. Meanwhile, three other guys with cash walked in the club, got bored and left.

Farmerart has a man crush.

I have seen and smelled plenty of Type 1. Even the allegedly classy strip club in my rotation has had a few in the years I've gone there, although with them, it's mostly they sweat too much.

1. The skunk. ****I think we can all agree on this one.

2. The lazy Susan. ****Yet another guy on this board bitching because (1) he absolutely has to have one particular girl; and (2) she has the audacity to be sitting with another customer? Be better than that, seriously dude.

3. The lazy superstar. ****The guy she's sitting next to is me, so you're shit out of luck until I decide that I'm finished with her. You can whine about it some more or man up, let it roll off of you, and find a girl who wants your money.

4. The poor girl. ****Au contraire dude, this one is among my favorites. When I hear sad stories from hot girls, I cannot help but to offer them earning opportunities. ;)

5. The money whore. ****I agree with this too, though I don't really get too worked up over this or pretty much any bad behavior. I just send a girl like this away to make room for the next contestant.

rickgugan, good comments but:

Type 2 - I'm talking about the girls that never seem to dance. I have no problem with waiting around for a girl. I've done it many, many, many times. But if she's just sitting there gabbing endlessly, maybe she should just keep her clothes on and go to a regular bar.

Type 3 - Again, I'm not whining. If she's sitting with a high roller, good for her. But how does she not I'm not an even higher roller if she never stops by? Here's the interesting thing about the superstar: I've met several of these girls and always found them to be boring, and usually kind of lame. Most of them would be better off going to a sugar daddy site and hooking up that way since that's all they're really looking for.

^ A bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush. That regular may be a proven spender and a predictable source of income for her. He may be an OTC income source as well. How does she know that you have anything to spend or that, if you do, that she will be the recipient?

Now we also know that, outside of entertaining regulars, there are any number of reasons why a particular girl may sit around, with or without a customer next to her. She may be shy; she may be loading up on booze before she starts her shift; she may be tired and/or lazy; she could be waiting for dinner or regulars to arrive (sometimes at the same time); it could be a full moon; she might just hate guys at that moment; or [insert one of a 1000 other reasons here].

Whatever. We can't control it and neither can the club really. They are independent contractors who pay to work there, not indentured servants. So why get worked up over it? There are plenty of fish in the sea.

The Skunk. I had to deal with one of those once at one of the classiest clubs in the Twin Cities. It really so much body odor as the stench of cigarettes. I could smell her from ten feet away. We made brief eye contact, I shook my head and crossed my legs, but she kept on coming. She tried prying my legs apart -- she said she wanted to sit on my lap -- but I didn't budge. I just told her, "No thanks," and (eventually) she left.

Maybe I missed it among the three articles, but I figured there'd be one called "The Life Story" or maybe "The Tragedy." I had to deal with a couple of those at one club.

One middle-aged dancer plopped herself down at my table and immediately started telling me about how her mother had died months earlier and how I should spend more time with my own mother and blah-blah-blah. Luckily one of my ATFs wandered into sight; the moment I gave the ATF a small wave, The Tragedy got all uppity, said she was wasting her time with me, and left.

Another time, I had just settled in for a bed dance with a very cute young woman -- who's mother had killed herself a couple months earlier and now she was seeing her every place. Yeah, I didn't get any more dances from her that night.

Wow, PhantomGeek. I just had a similar experience. I had some lapdances from a girl who ended our session by telling me she was planning her mother's funeral. I'm building a new list and may have to add that one.

NVM, I think you got my co-worker covered. LOL. A variation of #4

Thanks, NVM. Could you give us some details?

A couple other ideas:

1. The mooch. She sits with you. She yammers on and on and on. And she asks you to buy her drink after drink, munchie after munchie, and, even occasionally, a lap dance. She also tries to get you to buy everything on the menu for her BFFs, too. In the end, you're paying out the nose for just a couple of relatively lame lap dances.

2. Fish out of water. Dancing takes a very particular mindset, especially in clubs where dancers work for those extra tips in the VIP or OTC. Sometimes though, a woman will take a job there to try to make the bills, but this job is too far outside of her comfort zone. These women will give half-ass lap dances and either cut their time short with a customer or cling to you, hoping you'll give them more money. Or they'll get so stinking drunk or stoned trying to deal with the job, you'll still wind up with half-ass lap dances and wishing you're any place else.

Good job, PhantomGeek!

I've finally gotten the chance here to read the first of Carlos's articles. I am disappointed. I was expecting to see some real insights into dancers. I'm not seeing this at all. I've never encountered one that smells bad. But the rest of it is common enough, but so what. I guess, I've never gone looking for anonymous services to be performed on me, like bed dances ( 'till completion ) from dancers I have no rapport with. I don't really go along with the idea of 'extras' either.

Sure, they all have their limitations, as do we all. But if one has gotten to know one of them, then there can still be some mutual respect. Until this is there, I never go beyond $1 at a time with them, like when they are on stage. So most of this stuff is just to be expected.

SJG

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