The Reality of Being a Regular

avatar for m99999
m99999
Being a dancer's regular customer has both advantages and disadvantages.

I am not a 'Wanna Dance' guy. I would rather spend my time with one or two regular girls than get dances from a bunch of different ones. I like to get to know them and look forward to coming in and visiting them.

I like that as soon as I walk in the door they come right over to see me, give me a big hug and seem happy that I am there. As a regular, my favorites are normally very generous with their time. They will sit and talk with me at the bar or when they are on stage. We talk about things that are going on in our lives, laugh and have a great time. In clubs where the house does not take a part of the dance fee per song, they don't "watch the clock" when they are doing dances for me. I hate to count song and I will normally just give them some money and tell them to dance until it runs out. You could easily get ripped off doing this if you are not one of their regular customer.

Most of my favorites have exchanged phone numbers with me so we can stay in touch. It is always nice getting sweet text message from one of them when I am having a crappy day at work.

On days when only a couple girls are working, being a regular makes me a priority with my favorite over the other guys in the club. I remember stopping by a club late one Saturday afternoon. Three of the dancers had called out, leaving only my favorite and another dancer. The owner of this place was a real tool. He would not leave the stage empty and made the two girls keep switching on stage - 4 songs on - 4 off. I just remember the look on the faces of some of the other guys when my favorite would get off stage after each set and come running straight over to me.

My favorites know what I like and don't like in back. One of the downsides is that after a while the dances may not be as hot as they give to someone they are trying to entice. I find this especially true with on stage dancing. Sometimes I will try to spice it up by saying something like "Have you learned any new dance moves that you can show me?"

Favorite's can become very possessive of their regular customers. They can quickly get used to the income and do not want to give it up. Many will make sure that the other dancers know you are "their regular" and to stay away. Other dancers also see how you treat your favorite and may want a part of it. I had one club vulture that whenever she saw my favorite was tied up would swoop over and try to get me to do dancers with her. She was so two-faced about it that it never worked. The smarter girls would acknowledge that you are here to see your favorite and just wanted to say hello or keep you company until she was free. They realized that if they got to know you and your favorite was out some day that you might spend some time (and money) with them. This approach has worked successfully with me and I have gained some backup favorites.

As a regular, I always hate it when multiple regulars show up at the same time. It puts the dancer in a tough spot as she tries to find time to spend with each of us. Ultimately, it means that I get less quality time during my stay or may loose out to a real big spender.

Most dancer try to stagger there regular customers so they can spend time with each of them, but it does not always work out that way. There was one girl I had been seeing for a couple months. Our schedules did not always match up very well, but when they did she knew I was good for a champagne room or two. I got a text message from her one afternoon at work saying she was working and would love to see me. My workload was fairly light that day as was able to rearrange my calendar and leave early. I let her know exactly when I would be there. So I left work early and did the 45 minute ride over to the club. I was at the club for about 15 minutes when she finally stopped by. She came over and chatted for a couple minutes when she said that one of her other regulars just arrived early and she would not be able o spend any time with me. She then had the nerve to say if I came back the next day at noon, she would have plenty of time to see me. This was the last time I ever came back to visit her.

In contrast, I recently surprised one of my current favorites one afternoon. She was sitting with some guy when I walked in, but soon came right over. She told me that she was real happy to see me and wished I had let her know that I was coming. She had made plans a few days earlier to spend the afternoon in the champagne room with a real big spender. She then went off to get one of her sweet and really hot girlfriends to spend the afternoon with me. I had always wanted to get to know her friend better but was afraid my favorite would get upset. Her friend and I had a great time that afternoon and she is now a backup favorite.

I have found that as a regular, I need to be careful not to expect more out of the relationship than what is really there. Over the last year, I have had three of my favorites leave dancing and move on with their lives. I hated to see them go, but was happy that they were reaching for their dreams and goals.

In all cases, when the move on they have broken all communication. At first I was hurt. I then realized that although 'Bambie' and I were great friends in the club, to 'Donna', I was just another customer. She was a smart business woman and understood that opening up and being real nice to her regular customers would pay off in the long run.

Even with some of the downsides, I still prefer to be a dancer's regular than just take my chances with whomever is working that night.

22 comments

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avatar for Moose42
Moose42
11 years ago
I miss having a favorite and her seeing me as consistent (at least I assume she viewed me as someone who could be expected to show up and spend money on her). The other girls in the club came to know that she was my favorite and would ask if I was waiting for 'Chelsea.' That was when the club was closer and my time and income could make it work. But since I now live further from a club and grad school takes up my time (and grad student income is notoriously low), it's more difficult to find a favorite. Walking into a club without knowing who will be there is both exciting and not preferred. Sure, something good could happen, but not having the assurance that when I walk in Chelsea will come over makes the trip a waste.
avatar for etsutwigg222
etsutwigg222
11 years ago
I always go when the Fav is supposed to be there. Allows me to have a known experience there if all else fails. Keep in mind that wehave the "dead presidents" so use the talent on hand against each other. Works 90% of the time. The newbies want a slice of the pie, while the fav wants to keep what she sees as hers. Makes for an interesting supply and demand situation.
avatar for mjx01
mjx01
11 years ago
There are deiced advantages to having a regular setup (so long as you don't turn RIL).

IMO having a regular setup also means you get all available menu option.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
11 years ago
Very good write up. You've nailed each issue fairly well. But for me the cons outweigh the pros and I don't like being anyone's regular. It inhibits my ability to sample the menu at my leisure. What really pisses me off is when a dancer decides ON HER OWN that I am now her regular and she scares off or intimidates the other dancers and they stay away. Shit like that will make me put the entire club on hiatus until things simmer down.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
11 years ago
Good article. It reflects many of my own experiences.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
I prefer to be exclusive with an ATF. IMHO the search for variety is a MAJOR waste of my time and money.
avatar for Clackport
Clackport
11 years ago
I'm with Lopaw, the cons outweigh the pros as far as being a regular.
avatar for Club_Goer_Seattle
Club_Goer_Seattle
11 years ago
m99999, You're a great writer. For those of you who haven't read the author's other article, "OTC – Not all is cracked up to be," posted 8/23/2013, you should.

See: https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=2…

As for your current article, you're spot on as to the pros and cons of being a regular. I concur precisely. And, I've had a lot of the experiences you described. Not as many though, where other dancers' jealousy is involved.

I see you haven't authored any discussions, or participated in them. I hope you will begin to do so. You're contributions would be well-appreciated.
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
Traveling road warrior here. I do have a sweetie in Toronto but I see her for jolly times just 2/3 times per year and never in her club now. I take her on short vacations or meet her for hotel time if I am in Toronto for business.

I wouldn't mind being a regular for some hot dancer. Trouble is....all clubs within 300km of my home are totally useless and have only touring dancers. Can't find a regular girl if the dancer crew changes every two weeks.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
As others have stated; well written and good points made.

As with many other things; it comes down to a matter of personal preference.

I’m kinda on the other end of the spectrum. I hate the same-o same-o and always get more exited when visiting a new or unknown club hoping to have a new or at least different experience.

I visited 32 different clubs last year all in my local area of South Florida b/c:

+ I like variety and something new I have not had before

+ I don’ t like visiting the same club to close to the previous visit b/c the girls I got dances from in the prev visit will often come up to me expecting me to get dances from them again and spending on them

Some of my 32 different clubs visits where one and done since I just wanted to check out the club – and some clubs I def visit more regularly than others – still I never hit the same club back-to-back.

I can def see the advantages of a fave; but it’s just not in my DNA.

In my close to 14 years of regular clubbing; I’ve only had 3 “semi-faves” – by “semi” I mean that every time I saw them at the club; I did not mind getting dances from them – but I would never visit their club b/c they were there or I wanted to see them – if they were there fine; I would get some dances w/ them and other dancers – and if they were not there – then I still got a lot of dances (and those 3 semi-faves were early on during my first few years of clubbing).
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
11 years ago
I find being a regular of one dancer is a negative. There are pros, with the biggest being I know I will get what I like and how I like it, but the negative is that I like variety and having a favorite kills chances with other dancers, especially the higher end ones who don't go after customers of others in exchange for the same courtesy. I am now on hiatus due to this because somehow, despite making no effort I seem to have gone to the top of her list meaning that hoping she'll be busy is meaningless since she just dumps who she is with and comes over. So why did it take so long for me to stop? She's a true 91/2 and they are hard to just give up cold turkey.
avatar for Draper
Draper
11 years ago
I went from 2-3 SC visits per year to probably a dozen last year due to meeting my ATF. The obvious downside is more visits=more $ spent, but no buyer's remorse here...I go home smiling every time. After the first few visits she stopped counting songs/watching the clock during our dances, so I'm getting more for my money than I would with a new dancer. Another thing I find as a positive with my ATF is that she works at two clubs, so I get a bit more variety regarding eye candy and scenery to some extent when I see her (I can see how some patrons wouldn't like this arrangement though).

As the author stated, I realize she'll move on eventually...but while she's here and working I will happily be a regular. It's been a wonderful experience so far.
avatar for jestrite50
jestrite50
11 years ago
I have one girl only in each club; two if she has a girlfriend there that she doesn't mind me hanging out with. They know what I like and how I like it.
I hate breaking in a new dancer !
Good Article !
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
Good write up. I share many of the same opinions.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Besides always being late to the party and having your two cents already spent, I'd like to add this-

I am a regular of one gal and I don't mind. She's the hottest gal in the club and the one who I get along the best with. No disadvantage there.
avatar for mojito90
mojito90
11 years ago
I was a regular once. Went in the club, got a dance paid with a 20 for a 10 dance. She asked if I wanted to join her outside for a cig. Sure, why not. 10 min later I saw her go out with another dude. Like wtf!? So I waited for 5 min. Biting my tongue every min. Then I went out, asked for my change, and left. Haven't been back sinc. KKinda bummed but oh well.
avatar for justaguy1979
justaguy1979
11 years ago
Very well-written article and I think, having gone through all the comments, that everybody is right and nobody is wrong.

I'm somewhat of a newbie to the clubs and have been visiting one club in particular and have hit it off with one dancer. I don't know if I would say I'm a "regular" yet, but I know when I go in I hope she is working and of the three different dancers I've had in my few weeks of visiting the club, I've gotten the most dances from her.

The main reason is because she takes so much time hanging out with me at the bar, talking to me and getting to know each other a little better. For me personally, I prefer that type of relationship rather than the much more upfront and forceful "Hi, wanna dance?" girl.

It's all in personal preference, no doubt.

I can see why some guys would like variety, too, but I admit I'm worried about having a different dancer and not enjoying it as much as I do with the girl I regularly see and get dances from. One of the dancers I had was sort of a bad experience, so I'm afraid of wasting that kind of money again, too.
avatar for flipped
flipped
11 years ago
Put me down as against having regular girls. Over a relatively short period of time you go from being treated 'better' to being treated as an ATM. I don't want to hear about boyfriend problems or money problems I want to drink flirt and get a nice hard lapper in that order;-)
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
@flipped: Here's the thing, if never *be* a regular of a dancer who I felt was treating me as an ATM. The "relationship" would have ended as soon as I detected that attitude.

My ATF/SB being an extreme example, all of the dancers with whom I've been regular have all treated me better over time, not worse.
avatar for sofaking87
sofaking87
11 years ago
I've never gotten an ATF, but it sounds like the benefits are pretty good!
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
11 years ago
" Over a relatively short period of time you go from being treated 'better' to being treated as an ATM."

Hell, that's the damn truth.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
I felt like I read this before...like last year
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