Sometimes the 18+ strip clubs have the best talent, and so it becomes a trade-off for alcoholics like me. Do I want the pussy or the bottle? Why not have them both? While living in Las Vegas there was one 18+ club in particular that I frequented. Young, tight, no silicone...check my reviews. I perfected four ways to smuggle in the devil's nectar to keep my night flowing.
- Get it in your belly. This is a no-brainer. While in the parking lot, take that fifth to the head. It will hit you when you've passed security. Times only get better when you start settling/ slumping into your seat at the tipping bar.
Benefits: nothing on you if security tries to pat you down. Pitfalls: whiskey dick if you hit the bottle too hard. Security could possibly sweat you if they catch you boozing it up in the car. (Never happened to me though).
- Baby bottles. Take the airplane sized bottles in with you. Depending on how much you get patted down entry you may get in just fine. The location I frequented had a metal detector and pat downs, so I put them all the way down into my shoes. Uncomfortable, but I made the switch to my pockets in the bathroom stall. I suppose you could keister them, but shitting them out might be tough under duress. Every time I would go the restroom stall, I would toss them into my mixer and flush the bottles. Instant party on a budget.
Benefits: spacing out your drinks over the course of a night. Pitfalls: having them on you. One could fall out, or security could catch on. (Never happened to me though).
- Flask it. Your mileage may vary on this one. I always went in with a cheap flask I wouldn't cry about if it were confiscated. Leave that engraved one from the groom at home, and opt for a plastic camping one. It won't set off the metal detector.
Benefits: again, spacing out drinks. Sharing with a dancer in the VIP. That definitely helped matters in this no booze club. Pitfalls: as always-- you have it on you, and are liable to be expelled if security catches on. (Never happened to me though).
- Enlist the help of Dr. Sneaky. There was a time when I was wearing Dr. Sneaky to everything. For those unaware, Dr. Sneaky is a plastic bladder you can fill and tie at your waist. You can cut the spigot the length of your shorts or trousers. A depiction is here: youtube.com
Benefits: feeling like the alcoholic James Bond/ MacGyver. Spacing out drinks. Pitfalls: I would think that if I ever got caught that I would be subjected to more embarrassment/ rage by security.
In any case, fellow hobbyists, sweatpants wearers, and alcoholics -- enjoy! And please feel free to share your other tricks for getting booze into the strip club.
You could also fill condoms with alcohol and stuff them up your ass. :)