Ten Things For Strip Club Owners to Consider
JacksonEsskay
Virginia
2. Don't be so cheap. OK, I get it. You are running a business, and you are in that business to make money. I am not suggesting that you give away drinks or waive the cover charge. What I am suggesting is that, to quote my dad, don't be penny-wise and pound-foolish. If you are trying to run a "gentlemen's club" you've probably got quite a few dollars invested in the lights, the sound system, the decor, in fact, you've probably got more invested in these items than you need to. Most clubs I've been to have a light and sound system that most heavy metal bands on tour would be going, "hey, dudes, tone it down a bit." At the same time, the toilet paper in the bathroom is the cheapest stuff on the planet (or absent entirely) and the lighting in the parking lot is so low you need night vision goggles to find your car. Make a reasonably nice club and keep it that ways by putting a little money back into on a regular basis.
3. Speaking of the lighting system, make sure it enhances the dancers' performance. I can't tell you then number of times I've had to move from seat to seat at the stage or look for the one table in a club where a spot or strobe won't blind me if I want to see anything but the dancer's ankles. I bet you paid some geek a lot of money to run the wires and hook up the controls to sync the lights to your sounds system. If it was done right, it should highlight what is happening on the stage. If the system is variable, don't let you DJs mess with unless they know what they are doing (and unless they are moonlighting from their day jobs as lightening designer techs, they don't).
4. Cut back on the pointless house rules. I know that you think the restrictions and fines that you place on dancers are necessary, but the truth is most of them are pointless and the dancers resent them. Case in point: fining a dancer because she told a customer what the house's take from a private dance is. Seriously? Did you think we didn't know that you were getting your share? I assume the logic of this rule is that it allows the customer to select the dance that is most beneficial to the dancer. Well, maybe so, but wouldn't it make more sense for you to have a rational system for determining the house's take?
5. If you are going to serve food, please make it edible. I've been to a few clubs were the food was truly restaurant quality, but mostly I've been concerned about whether I would get food poisoning. Most clubs serve food because its required by the ABC laws, but they also know that very few customers are there to dine. I would guess that more food is ordered by dancers than by customers. If you offer a "free" buffet, stick to basics that can't be screwed up. And if you cannot afford to hire a decent short order cook, stock your freezer with Lean Cuisine and Marie Callender's microwave dinners, assuming local law allows it (buying in bulk when they are on sale, and you'll even realize a profit). And for goodness sake, offer some decent desserts! If for no other reason than the sales that will be generated by dancers asking customers to share something with a whipped topping J
6. Make sure that everyone know the rules. I mean everyone – the dancers, the doormen, the floormen, the bartenders, the waitresses, the restroom attendants, but most especially, the customers. I would guess that on any given weeknight, a fair number of your customers are going to be first-timers and mostly from out-of-town. Nothing is going to sour their opinion of your club faster than being called out for "breaking a rule." I'm not a big fan of those florescent signs behind the bar and scotch taped to the mirrors on the wall. I'd prefer table tents with a simple list – or how about a card handed out when you pay your cover. Make it classy. Laminate them or have them printed on plastic and title it "How to Have the Best Time possible here at Club Swanky." List dance prices one side and the house rules (and local laws) on the other. If you are too cheap to do this (please see number 2), then I'm fine with the fluorescent signs.
7. Get a website and keep it relatively up to date. Seriously, in this day and age if you can't afford a website and can't keep it at least nominally current, why would I want to come to your club?
8. Do not instruct you staff to lie to the customers about anything. Case in point, if I call your club at 8 PM and ask if Skyler is dancing tonight, if you've told your employees to always say "Sure, she's here until 3AM," and when I arrive at 8:15 PM to say "oh, sorry, she wasn't feeling well and went home," I am going to be pissed. Yes, I will probably stay and I will possibly spend as much as I would have on Skylar . . . but I'm going to be pissed. Likewise, don't have them lie about what is available in the private dance rooms. And by lie, I also mean "imply," "insinuate," "hint" etc. First, it puts the dancers in an awkward position. Second, regardless of your "strict rules against anything of that sort," I know any number of skilled prosecutors who can turn that innocent insinuation into a pandering charge that will stick if the dancer does not follow those strict rules.
9. Don't overload your schedule when you know that there will not be enough customers to justify it. I frequent two clubs that within a few blocks of each other in one of the cities I visit regularly for business. Both open for lunch and stay open in the afternoon. I can guarantee that on Monday and Tuesday, there will be almost no customers there at lunch at probably none at all between 2:30 and 4:00 p.m. At one club, they limit the number of dancers to 4. At the other club, there are always 10 dancers (and, I've been told that unlike the prime shifts Friday afternoon and weekends, the management will allow any dancer who wants "an extra shift" to just show up. I don't like this for any number of reasons, but mainly because I think a club where the dancers out number the customers is a real buzz kill. Likewise, the floormen have nothing to do, and wind up harassing the dancers, the customers, or both.
10. Do what you have to keep the schedule full with the best dancer when there will be enough customers to justify it. If you can't get your A-list dancers on the prime shifts to have a decent ratio of customers to dancers, you're doing something wrong. Most likely you are not treating the dancers with sufficient respect. If you bully them to work the busy shifts, or worse try to blackmail them by requiring extra shifts or higher tip outs, you are going to piss them off and lose them to another club. Instead, try offering them an incentive. In the long run, they will be happier and make more money, your customers will be happier and make more money, and that means you will make more money too.
This is the first of what I plan in a series of "10 things" articles for TUSCL. I hope that these articles will spark debate and response from other list members. I will put my biographical information at the end of every article to give you, the reader, a sense of the perspective from which I am writing.
Who I am: I am a fifty-year-old married professional with two teenage children. I travel frequently for business and most of my visits to strip clubs occur on business trips. This is so for two reasons. First, in the city where I live, there is only on strip club and its not a particular nice one, nor are its hours conducive to my schedule. Second, when I am traveling is when I am most in need of the relaxation that I get from going to clubs. I visit strip clubs for several reasons, but mostly because I like to look at attractive women wearing little or no clothing and moving in highly suggestive ways. I also like having these women dance close to me, especially if that closeness involves actual contact. It's a fantasy, and I find that fantasy relaxing and stimulating at the same time, and I don't mind paying for it. I make no apologies for this. To quote Neal Boortz, "All men are pigs, no exceptions, myself included – oink, oink." However, even if I am a pig, I am not interested in "extras." That is not fantasy – and it is most likely criminal. I am also not foolish enough to believe that the dancer who just rubbed her ass on my crotch for three minutes is remotely interested in seeing me outside the club, though I am willing to believe that at least some dancers are genuinely interested in me as a customer. By this, I mean that all other things (i.e. tips and dances paid for) being equal, some dancers will prefer my company to someone who does not dress as nicely or bother to shower and shave before going to the club. I almost always wear a suit and tie, or at least a dress shirt and slacks. If I sit at the stage, I will tip every dancer at least once during her set (my rationale for when and how I tip will be the subject of a future article) and will usually buy at least one dance (and usually several) during the course of my visit.
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We would like to add one, however, and that would be that if you are in a state that still allows smoking, PLEASE get a decent smoke removal system. A ceiling fan does not cut it. We have left clubs in which we intended to spend hundreds for a VIP or Champagne room experience because the main floor was so darn smoke-filled we could not stand it long enough to even select a dancer. The first two we tried table-side reeked of smoke so badly we could not have chosen them if we had liked the table dances.
Thanks for your comment.
#2 - Very true: it's those apparently small things that count for a lot, such as the parking conditions or keeping the restrooms usable. Doesn't have to be posh, just make people feel safe!
#5 - A club may also, if possible, rather than go for TV dinners instead limit itself to "bar food" - wings, sliders, chips, that sort of stuff. Just something to "soak up the booze" as it were. Or else make an arrangement with a legit food business to cater the buffet.
#6 - I am always happy to see a rate card at the entrance of the LD/VIP room, taking out the guess work. Indeed, publish those rules that are going to be enforced. Of course, well trained doormen/bar staff who'll ask if it's your first time here and will brief you on the rules works almost as well.
#7 - If you can't keep a full website reasonably up to date, then just cut it down to a single page with location, directions and hours. ACCURATE location, direction and hours! Maybe just place that page on facebook. But when the next big thing takes over from facebook, move there! For cryin' out loud some places are still on myspace.
Thanks. I like the idea of a catered buffet -- only problem is the same with the TV dinners, which is the ABC regulations usually require that the food be actually prepared onsite. Bar food (i.e. a limited menu of things that are not that difficult to prepare or screw up is another excellent suggestion. I would add that the more upscale (in terms of entertainers and corresponding cost of their company as well as decor), the better the food should be. And in that regard to Yankee's comment, I will note that in my experience in such establishments, the food is usually a loss leader!
Microwave dinners? Not ever, never.
Some valid points (lest I be accused a "hater") and a couple irrelevant points from a Strip club owner perspective (so why would they consider them?) but one of the most important things a SC owner should consider is making absolutely sure _that the dancers do their job correctly_... for too many of them simply don't.
"If you would be pungent, be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams--the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn."
- Robert Southey
For the most part, the kind of businessmen that would actually consider those things investments, rather than expenses, don't get into building strip clubs.
Che -- you are correct, I've not been on the opposite side of the bar (or whatever would be considered the opposite side of a SC from where the customers are) or had to deal with the egos and temperaments of strippers en masse (my guess is the most successful SC owners are the owns that have learned to use psychology more effectively than others). In truth I have been in a few clubs where the music was not blasted to the top level, but it's been a while. As to "no such thing" as too many dancers, I assume you view is that the more ladies, the more for you to choose from, and I concede the logic of your POV. However, I do know that when I've been in a club where the dancer to customer ratio exceeded 3-1, the vibe from the dancers was a lot less energetic than when its the opposite -- I think most likely because the bigger the crowd, the bigger the chance for a good take, and I think that it shows in the overall quality of the experience you can have. Of course. some one could take the opposite view that where there is limit cash to be had, the dancers may work harder for it; that just has not been my experience. Thanks for you comments.
Most of your observations are just simple common sense that any operator should follow to ensure a level of customer service that encourages repeat sales.
#7 comes into the realm of advertising. It is exceptionally hard to do a cost/benefit analysis for the advertising expenses of a SC. Personally, I think word-of-mouth is the best possible method of advertising a SC and that would flow seamlessly from paying scrupulous attention to #s1,2,3,5,&8.
#s4&6 are not quite so 'cut and dried' as you make out. Broadly, some of these rules exist for insurance, legal, or competitive reasons. In my business I must comply with regulations and laws that drive me nuts but I have no choice. Not following them would make business impossible - no insurance coverage, no chance of bidding on public land sales, etc. Perhaps SC operators are faced with similar Hobson's Choices with their rules as I am with mine.
#s9&10 deal with employees, and in this world, there are no perfect employees. I pay high salaries to skilled/experienced rig pigs. Much of the time, what we do in drilling does not require this skill/experience set but when things fuck up on a well site that skill/experience is priceless and just has to be there. Same thing in a SC; no owner can predict when customers will flood the club. The owner can only do his best based on his past experience. Customers in a SC must realize that not everything they want can be available whenever they want it, particularly if those customers are not regular patrons of that club. All of us hobbyists well know that regulars automatically receive better service than road warriors like me. That is not bad business practice; it is just a fact of life.
Good to have a businessman's perspective. To the extent that house rules follow from legal requirements or contractual arrangements, is all the more reason to make an extra effort to get the customers on board -- both aware of and following the rules.
SC owners: spend your $500 bucks if you aren't technologically gifted and get someone to do a website for you. At least a few pics of the empty club, shots of the private dance rooms and what the cover and drink prices are. If you run daily specials that is nice to have too. DON'T put pics of the ladies up unless you intend to keep them up-to-date. You can't tell me that every college around would not have at least 2-3 geeky techy guys that would LOVE to visit your club and do a website for you for that. (and think how many of their friends they are gonna haul in as customers once they brag about the website they did for you!) Your only recurring expense is hosting and if you have a basic site that is minimal - in the Chicago area less than $50 a month.
AND then link your webpage to TUSCL so everyone can find it.
For example, referencing #8, the SC owner knows if he tells you Skyler isn't there you're not coming to the club. So, from HIS perspective, better to lie to you to get you down there because he knows once you're in the club, you'll spend the money you were allocating for Skyler (by your own admission).
The fact that you're "pissed" means nothing to him... he's got your money. That's all he cares about.
Not saying this is the proper mentality but this is how it is and it won't be changing anytime soon.
As for #7: accurate location and accurate hours info are at or near the top of things I expect.
If I can't find your club, I can't spend my money there. (and in the age of GPS there isn't any f-ing excuse... someone you know has got to have a GPS probablly in their smart phone... even if you don't have a street address for some reason, you can still give me latitude and longitude)
If I show up and you're not open (becasue you don't list hours) I'll assume you're close, as in permanetly. Thus I'm not spending money in your club. Plus, I'm going to be pissed off that I drove all the way to your club wasitng time and gas for no reason.
I just saw an add for a club 'near' me that didn't give hours or an address. Geeze. (now I use the term 'near' loosely since I live in the middle of nowhere.)
Rules: sometimes the owner won't want to make the rules explicit. They don't want to admit how much they allow in dark corners, even though they do have a line that should not be crossed. They don't want to publicly state, "Hand on the dick outside pants but not inside," or "You can reach inside his pants, but don't pull anything out." However, the key to the unwritten rules is being polite to the customers. First step in enforcement is to talk to the dancer, but not in a way that will worsen the customer's experience. Second step: if the customer needs to be talked to, do it quietly and politely. Stars Bridgeport (Portland area) did a great job. The manager came over to me and quietly said, "Our rules don't allow that. The dancer should have told you, but she didn't, so I just have to make sure that you understand." No big bouncer getting touch, just a polite conversation.
Additional rule: crack down on dancers who miscount dances or don't tell the price upfront. I think we've all had dancers who add a dance or two. How about management saying, "If your dancer miscounts the dances, please inform us." Once could be an accident, but if a dancer is consistently over-counting, she should be canned. As for pricing, when the sign says "$20" I'm sometimes willing to pay $30 (because in some clubs the mileage goes way up). But I've been in clubs where $20 is the norm but afterwards the dancer says, "Oh, that was a $30 dance."
I liked your comment about about the toliet paper. Ain't that the truth! I've been to some high end Detroit clubs with $700 bottle service yet use TP that feels like sandpaper.
But speaking of Detroit clubs, they have food that rivals good restaurants.
I have a couple of things to throw out to customers though from managers to customers.
1. No, I cannot give you any dancers phone number. (I may be too protective but the ladies don't need stalkers)
2. Yes I will be glad to help get the right girl to your table.
3. I know you have a thousand ideas on what would help make the club better but can we discuss them when its slow and not when I have 100 drinking customers 30 dancers and 4 bartenders to keep an eye on?
4 Yes I said I don't drink and asking me 10 times won't change my answer. (I don't see how any manager can drink and run gentlemen's clubs)
5 No I don't want to buy a large quantity of (Insert drug of choice here) to "loosen up" my dancers.
6 No I won't talk to (Insert dancer name here) and let her give you a blow job in VIP. I happen to like freedom And I don't like spending money on attorneys and bail.
7 No I won't have an after hours party with less restrictions see 7
8 Please leave the terms Bitches, ho's etc out of your vocabulary. It creates an atmosphere of animosity. And , believe it or not, the girls don't like being called that.
9 No I won't let my waitress give you a dance. She was asked to be a dancer and chose to be a waitress.
10 Why yes Mr. Customer as a matter of fact we DID open this club to make money and we ARE trying to get some of yours. On that note I will say that there are a LOT of clubs out there trying to rape the customers and I hate it. I also hate what it has done to the industry. There a few of us out there who try to run Gentlemen's Clubs instead of Strip Bars but fewer everyday I think.