Oh oh oh so much to say ... I'll try to limit myself. So, you really think you want a relationship with a girl who works as a stripper?
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I agree with one of the previous comments, that "Strippers don't date customers." Therefore, DON'T BE A CUSTOMER. Provide her with something MORE than, or DIFFERENT FROM, what customers provide. Strippers know that if they start DATING a guy, especially a guy who comes off as "customer material," then the cash-stream can dry up. Why would they reduce their income potential just for some dude who is the same as 99.999% of all the other dudes they meet every night in the strip-club?
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I also agree with another comment, that strippers are just like all other women. They're human beings, and they're female. This means it's hard to "convince" them to do anything, but it also means that they'll respond in manners similar to the manners in which all other women respond, but within a set of stripper-specific constraints. So, these things may work, for example: being able to chat with her, make her laugh, make her think of you as someone who makes her feel a certain way. Generally, makes-her-feel-special is often best; but, failing that, makes-her-feel-ANYTHING is better than doesn't-really-make-her-feel-anything-at-all. And, makes-her-feel-DOMINATED-by-the-guy is generally better than makes-her-feel-like-she-can-control-the-guy (unless you're subtle enough to master the ever-successful makes-her-feel-like-she-can-only-control-the-guy-by-fucking-him-regularly-and-often). By the way, I don't pretend to be ABLE to do these things; just, to be able to name them and talk about them.
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I know a guy who got dates, and a long-term relationship, with a stripper by being a "normal dope." He's kind of passive, kind of hokey, very small-town-ish. But his buddy knew one dancer, and she knew another dancer, and so on. It was a "real relationship" in the sense that they got together over mutual interests, dated because each partner felt the other was hot enough and because the ice somehow got broken between them, and then broke up because it wasn't working. His "method"? Be a cool guy. He doesn't bag a lot of girls, and he isn't one of those social-leader types who is at the forefront of any group and therefore seems like all the girls would want to bag him. He just hit a happy coincidence, in which his personal style matched hers right at the right time that she and he found themselves available, interested, and introduced to one another all at the same moment. Shazam! (Dumb luck can be improved upon, a bit -- mainly through (1) not screwing it up when you DO get handed a brilliant coincidence; or (2) increasing your likelihood of these conditions coinciding happily, by increasing the likelihood of any of the events themselves. But dumb luck is really the most operative factor, in most people's hook-ups.)
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Thing is ... it wasn't working because the girl was totally psycho. He had to do two years of therapy, almost got killed by her in the middle of the night when she broke into his apartment, almost ended up being at her side while she was in the middle of committing suicide, did end up having to phone emergency services twice for her attempts at suicide, had to move out of three places change all the locks and get a total of four temporary restraining orders until she finally moved well across the country, and even now he still keeps favors with his friends in law-enforcement and the legal community who are watching various databases and government information just to make sure she doesn't move back to the same city as him, at least not without him knowing.
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For me, it's not exactly that I want to date a STRIPPER. It's that I want to date girls who are HOT ENOUGH TO BE STRIPPERS. More on the definition of "hot enough to be a stripper" in a bit; but first, I'd like to elaborate on several concerns related to that concept.
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a. One thing is, that I'm picky (though I don't MEAN to be picky, evidently I am biologically predisposed to pickiness) about naked body type. I don't like floppy tits, I don't like narrow tits, I don't like this or that or the other kind of ass or belly ... but, there's no frickin' way to KNOW what a girl's body is like naked, until you actually GET it naked. I try to impose upon myself the general rule that I should see the girl in a bikini before I even TRY to get her naked, but that's not always possible. So, strippers provide one essential opportunity that real-world girls don't: strippers can't be misleading about their bodily qualities. I know whether their tits are firm or floppy because I've actually seen (and maybe FELT) the actual tits themselves.
5.b. Another thing is, that strip-clubs kind of raise the standard for beauty. With a ton of average chicks and housewives fondling produce at the Wal-Mart, the one undergrad checkout girl can look stunning merely because she's not overweight, or even merely because she's not EXTREMELY overweight even though she's too heavy to be a stripper. Among strippers at a strip club, the average chicks appear to be what they are (or worse) -- unfuckable, or, simply, undesirable in terms of fucking. (I used to really really try to "get over" this propensity of mine, to "need" my dates to consist solely of hot-looking women; but I learned, pretty much by doing, that I can't "convince" myself to love, or to want to fuck, someone whose body does not please me. Maybe some day I'll grow more "mature" about this subject, but, for now, Mr. Happy ain't happy unless my Eyeballs are happy about the incoming stimulus. Fat or ugly girls? The problem isn't that I "can't" get an erection for them. The problem is, that they prevented me from getting an erection for them.) So, strippers offer something verifiable and hot-enough. To summarize 5.a. and 5.b., I can CONFIRM their firmness and I can get LOTS of women with confirmable firmness. :)
5.c. I can't generally find that, in the real world. If I felt "guaranteed" of a valid, viable pool of hot-enough women, I think I wouldn't feel like going after strippers was necessary. I think if the women all 'round me were stripper-quality (and this, of course, is a subjective and wide-ranging phenomenon) then I probably wouldn't be very interested in strip-club chicks. And I know, I know, when I started this part of my post with the comment that I was seeking a woman who was "hot enough to be a stripper," I was talking about something undefinable, but I mean, basically, what we all mean by "hotness."
So, if you mean ONLY Las-Vegas-style top-notch super-quality best-looking strippers who, in a different time-line, could perhaps have worked as fashion models or super-models, or at least as television anchor-women or Hollywood starlets, then you're talking about a lot FEWER strippers of a lot HIGHER caliber than I really mean, when I imply that there's a certain minimum level of "hotness" required for a woman to be a stripper. If, to the contrary, you mean those tired middle-aged women at that club just off the industrial access road next to the community airport, you know, they're saggy, dumpy, over-the-hill, haven't gotten their hair-roots colored recently; they have bellies as large as either of their tits, and each of their thighs is as wide as their waist ... well, those women are NOT of the level of "hotness" that I'm talking about. So, really, when I say, "hot enough to be strippers," this probably should immediately beg the question, "hot enough to be WHICH strippers?
I can't really answer. I know what I mean. I know that there is a category of women who "count" as members of the club of "hotness," and that within this club are some women who don't really turn my crank, and other women who really really turn my crank but don't turn other guys' cranks at all yet nevertheless are conceded (by those other unimpressed guys) as women within the club. I'm talking about the members, not the non-members, and I think there's a groundswell, a zeitgeist, a general awareness. An otherwise over-the-hill middle-aged woman CAN join the club, make herself hot, even RE-join it long after her body has sagged too much to be "naturally" part of the club. And a perky firm-bodied young girl in the prime of her physical fitness can, with a set of specific actions directed at demonstrating some kind of negative impression, succeed at exempting herself from the club despite her amazing body and visual appeal. I don't mean it's STRICTLY a bodily thing. But it's MOSTLY bodily, though improved by attitude and bearing. As bodies get worse with age, attitude must compensate more and more. Eventually even the best attitude fails.
What is this thing which is a combination of excellent body and good-enough attitude, that adds up to "hot enough to be a stripper" and is agreed-upon by most men yet is a totally subjective phenomenon? We can all identify a group of women who are "good enough" even though we can also identify, among that group, a small (but legitimate) percentage who are "good enough but not my type, though I can see why other guys like 'em" and a large percentage who are "probably good enough for any heterosexual guy" and maybe another set who are "good enough, and definitely exactly excellent for me." (I think this phenomenon angers women, by the way. They don't like their loss of control.) What is this thing? Is it "pride" or "confidence" or "bearing"? It's also, visual signals of child-bearing fitness, of the cues determined by evolutionary psychology or some other weird science, genetically pre-coded into us.
Sad to say, I have another instinct: it's the instinct that, if a human female doesn't fit this group, then I think of her as diseased, not worthy of my time. I get angry at her very existence. I reject the idea that she should have a vote, a daughter, a house in suburbs, a dollar bill. I have to work against this instinct, and I do fair job of it in my normal life; but it will inevitably rub someone the wrong way, when I'm nice to a fat and ugly but smart girl at school and later she gets pissed off that I won't fuck her "only because" she's fat and ugly and "despite the fact" that I was nice to her. I haven't learned to manage all those social cues. I tend to respect all humans publicly, but in my head disrespect them all ... or, all except the physically desirable, I guess.
For me, only at strip-clubs are the women "normal" or "good enough" or "not miserable negative experiences in which I feel cheated out life." And in Europe, I don't get that kind of "miserable negative" instinct. There, people aren't bloated. There, generally, people clean themselves up, learn to be smart or shut the fuck up, abuse their civil rights seldom and the rights and moral privileges of others never, and tend to know how to live among one another. I haven't really interacted much with Europe's rabble -- the low-class dumb-fucks from some racist farm region north of a city where there was a genocide a few decades ago, for example. I'm always interacting with intelligentsia. And there, I find that the people who know how to read books, also know how to treat me with respect, including with the respect of not forcing their visually unappealing ineptitudes all up in my face where I have to look at them, and where I have to expend a lot of energy in order to figure out how to NOT retch in disgust.
I don't mean to defend this attitude. I just mean to describe it. I end up in the zone of stripper attraction only because for me it's, instinctively, the BARE MINIMUM for what it takes to be a valid human. I can see how people might similarly deride and reject me -- I'm too short, or too poor, or I have too little hair, or I haven't worked hard enough to make a gazillion dollars as an entrepreneur in a sell-sell-sell get-profit-at-all-coss world view. Maybe hot women see me and think, "Who the FUCK does he think he IS, to even TRY to inhabit the same goddamned planet as ME, that short bland drab average dude with the receding hairline who still lives off his mommy on weekends and doesn't want a typical office job. He's SUPPOSED to be something MORE LIKE WHAT I WANT." I would hate to interact with women who treated me that way. But, I'm embarrassed to admit, that attitude is exactly parallel to how I tend to think about physically ugly women, women who are NOT "hot enough to be a stripper."
I'm sorry. :P That's just the way I am. :(