Comments by ei8ht_Ball (page 8)

"I don't approach strippers for relationships. I approach them for sexual entertainment. I keep in the back of my mind, however, that a relationship could form organically over time if I see a girl that I'm compatible with and have a good connection with." This sounds like a very healthy approach.

"I don't approach strippers for relationships. I approach them for sexual entertainment. I keep in the back of my mind, however, that a relationship could form organically over time if I see a girl that I'm compatible with and have a good connection with." This sounds like a very healthy approach.

Vantablack - would it be rude of me to inquire about how much you're paying her? In this type of "relationship" I believe it to be an important detail, and how much she truly likes you (versus tolerates you) can often be inferred from the amount it takes for her to keep seeing you. But If you don't want to share that's fine. I completely understand.

"Visit her a little less frequently!" I plan to. This was on the horizon before the competition came out of the woodwork. I think it will make a difference in her effort. "if you're a paying trick you should be dictating what you get. You have the $$$" I hear ya, but it's not my style and it changes the vibe. Plenty of others are offering in a way that would not require me to "dictate" and I'll probably spend some time with them. But with this other girl I'm enjoying it for what it is. Now she's taking it for granted and the other girls see this as an opportunity. It be fine if she just put more effort into it and does a bit more, in whatever way suits her. If she acknowledges the competition and lowers the price, then all the better.

two_bits - my question is on a different thread, but would love to hear your advice: https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=60564

"if one can't find the proper/desirable S.O. in civilian-world IMO why would one think/expect to find it in fake-ass strip club bizarro-world" This is the best way I've ever seen this ideology described. Unfortunately, what makes it seem achievable to some is that they can't find sex in the real world either but they did at the strip club, so why stop there? It's like when you hit all sevens on the slot machine and then you just know you can do it again. Do I meet girls at strip clubs who I wold desire a real relationship with? Absolutely. Do I waste time thinking it might happen or even really truly want it to happen? Hell no. But wondering what it would be like to have a relationship with an attractive woman who theoretically only allows me to see her sweet side can be a lot fun. Watching the approach she uses in an attempt to convince me that it's real can also be a lot of fun. But actually going down that road would be pure torture.

Just puke and urine. I'm a classy guy, so I expel my cum and feces at home.

"You don't need to tell her about other girls" You're absolutely right, I don't need to tell her about other girls. I guess I saw this as an opportunity to see what else she was might be willing to offer on her own without me demanding anything from her. Perhaps this isn't an approach I should be using at all. What do others think? I'm particularly interested in what two_bits and Papi_Chulo think.

"Demand more from her every time." It's just not my style. My experience has been that demanding things that aren't normally on a girl's menu changes the vibe of the relationship and the tone of each encounter. But it is a sure fire way to find out how bad she needs the money.

"If we went from normal customer/provider to being able to meet outside the club not P4P, then that at least shows that it is real to some degree." It means she wants you to think it's real. How much of it actually is real you will never know, unless she does something to show you that none of it was real. The fact that you wrote "to some degree" at the end shows that you understand that ambiguity involved.

I've spent more time at hotels than strip clubs this year. I won't name which ones, but have had some pretty nice experiences.

"I rather doubt she is going to reduce her prices no matter what you say" She may, but the amount of attention I received when she was gone led me to believe that I'm paying more than the other customers, but she's also cuter than the other girls (in my opinion). So I'd like to see if there's any wiggle room, but want to be sure I don't insult her in the process.

"If you are getting extras and are happy with it don't say anything you could end up having both chics pissed off at ya!" My CF and at least one of the other girls are open to OTC 3 ways, but I don't know if they know each other or not. I'm not worried about either expecting monogamy from me, but would like to reduce the price with my CF without coming across as a demanding and entitled scumbag. She's really cool. If I can't get a lower price I'm going to keep seeing her, but i'm also spending enough that other girls are really noticing, so at the same time it's not like I don't have other options.

"I'm going to feel like shit regardless of which path I take." If that's the case then you're right to stop going. You don't need to spend money to feel like shit, so stop spending it. In a lot of ways it's better to be used for money by a stripper than a civilian. It's transparent, it's what they're there for, and you should be able to have fun without feeling taken advantage of because you offered it to her. Yet there's so much scheming and hustling going on that it doesn't always work out this way, which sucks. I don't think I'd feel comfortable being emotionally attached to a stripper that I just knew in real life. It would be too real (or would it?). If anything, I like knowing for certain that what happens at the club is fake (or is it?). It's healthy for all of us to take a break from time to time. But if you feel this way then a permanent hiatus is probably in your best interest.

This is the paradox I'm dealing with. Except I just want a girl to have fun with, no emotional connection. But if she doesn't have anything that I would want to connect with (even though I have zero exceptions that something "real" will emerge) then I lose interest quickly and move on to the next girl. I'm well over a year into my first long-term thing. My expectations are in check and completely rational. My true wants, on the other hand, keep changing and emerging, as pointless as that might be. In a lot of ways spending a significant amount of time with someone who sees me for money is more fucked up than I expected it to be. When she's around I have an amazing time. When she's not I kind of resent her for only being interested in my money, which is fucked up, because she's just doing what I approached her to do, and nothing more than that. I really don't think it's healthy, but having rational expectations that nothing "real" is going to happen keeps it under control. I tell myself I'm going to see this one through and then when it's over I'll be more casual in my clubbing. We'll see! Good luck Vantablack. I hope you find a more fulfilling hobby to immerse yourself in. And let us all know if you do.

I've been aware of undercover cops posing as a couple patronizing the club. It's less expected when there's a female customer involved, so they gain people's trust faster. Never heard of one posing as an actual stripper. I think it could happen if there were some serious allegations about trafficking or maybe minors in the club, but I highly doubt they'd do this just to nab a random customer. But who knows, they've funded worse projects than this with my tax dollars.

I consider doing the same thing all the time. I rationalize sticking around because I've managed to play this long without it affecting my retirement savings and other necessary expenses. But when I look at what I've spent, it's a lot. There have been so many good times and good memories. But the artificial wrapper it all comes in can take a toll.

two_bits - I'm only as new as I pretend to be.

DC9428 - great advice, and it was a worthwhile trip. My (now former) CF wasn't there, and she's apparently been bragging about me, because girl after girl after girl approached me to offer more for less. So in the long run tonight has saved me money.

"I have had some of the best times when I was conflicted. Wouldn't trade them in for anything." That's all I needed to hear. i'm out the door now.

I budget for everything. Does that mean I should stop eating and saving for retirement, as both of those expenses are in the budget too?

"Get a real job" Where exactly do you think my budget came from, the welfare office?

"Who is to say you'll be free the next time you have the "strip club budget" available?" Damn that's some solid reasoning. Problem is I only budget for 2 - 3 strip club outings per month, and I think I'm likely to find more than that number of open nights each month. And I'm kind of trying to spread them out because I'm a tad ahead of schedule on my spending this year. But damn, that's the most convincing argument I think I'm going to hear. I might just have to do that.

That does sound good. Won't solve my problem tonight, but something to keep in mind for the next vacation.

"Stop wasting time and money on us clubs!" I like clean women. Will I find one at hk in tj?