Posts by rickthecoconutcrab

My uncle fredthecrab was boiled when he was young. He escaped but was never quite the same. How many of you think freely learned to ski and started posting here? It would explain a lot! Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!

True story: my great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy fucked Amelia Earhart! Don’t believe me? Read the National Geographic: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/08/colossal-crabs-hold-clue-amelia-earhart-fate/ What your geography magazine doesn’t tell you is that she landed on the island of the rick-crabs. My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy did was tell her he’d help her if…

Since I've arrived in America I keep hearing about female hairless apes that shave their pubic hair because they don't like crabs! What is up with that? I don't see the connection between crab-lovin' and pubic hair. If anything, the…

I know that some of you hairless apes get upset about helping out those of us with no reviews, but I promise to tell you about all the hot spots for sexy female crabs on the Christmas Islands! I just…

I tried to send him the following and realized he has me on ignore! What's up with that? You're kind of a weird hairless ape. But that means you may have insights into the hoi polloi of TUSCL. Can you get these…

I've just made landfall in Africa on my way to America where I will join up with the ricks. You guys would be surprised at how exhausting it is to float in a coconut on the ocean for days. Plus…

I've heard that this is the place to make the case for membership in the council of ricks. I've been told that many council members post here. That apparently includes rickdugan, the smartest and most kick-ass hairless ape on the…