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13 years ago
Nope totally not had. Just wait for parts two and three. Two has been waiting for them to approve it for some time now.
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13 years ago
I am going to do you a favor and tell you what no one else has. First of all, to reiterate what others have said, THANK YOU for your service to our country. It is a damn shame the way this country treats vets. For anyone out there who thinks a government run health care system is a good idea, go back and re-read this post. This is exactly the type of care everyone will get, if not worse, it the government is successful in their plan to take over health care.
SEONDLY, you say you love your wife. I do not doubt you. But, I do question your wife's feelings for you. What do you mean she could not be there for you because she was dealing with her own health issues. Bullshit! My husband is a chronic depressive. I am not always successful at dealing well with him (and his sexual issues when in the throws of depression) but I ALWAYS try. I would NEVER consider having him work it out on his own! That is what a marriage is about.
You say you went because you wanted help with sexual issues. I say you went because you were looking for more than that. You wanted support and appreciation for what you went though, in my opinion. The manifestation of the aloneness you continued to feel once you came home and then had health issues is the ED. I am not saying your wife is 100% to blame for this but she is certainly partially responsible for not helping you through it. (And, yes, I know of which I speak. At the age of 40 - two years after my youngest child - I had to have an emegency hysterectomy to save my life. I went through a year of hell and feeling absolutely nothing during sex. I cried almost every time we had sex because I felt so broken and felt no sensations at all. But I would never have allowed my husband to be unfulfilled or go without. There are MANY ways to be intimate without actual intercourse some of which do not require an erection.)
You went to war to serve your country and your wife. Yes, she held down the fort while you were gone which, I am sure, was stressful. However, that does not give either of you the right to say, "I am too busy dealing with my own stress to notice and help yours!" Sit your wife down and tell her she needs to go to counseling with you to work through this. Right now you don't have a marriage: you have a business arrangement and she is getting the better end of it.
Mrs. m00tpoint (a NAVY brat)
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13 years ago
First of all, I am not black. Second of all, we are a couple. We have had clubs tell us pricing at the door as well. In fact, if it is our first time at a club, we prefer it. And we usually have been shown around. Clubs that don't do this are second rate in our book. Why must you assume that someone giving pricing is trying to keep you out? As always, the eye of the beholder is the lens through which actions are seen. Maybe it was not about race at all. In our experience, the ones making race an issue tend to be the African Amricans themselves.
I am sure this will generate name-calling and some negative comments. So, before you start, of my five best friends, three are White, one is African American and one is Latina.No I am not racially prejudiced. I worked in a warehouse as a member of the management team. I can tell you from firsthand experience that the caucasians were the least racially biased group in the warehouse.
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13 years ago
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popCleverly disguised as a responsible adult
I think that it depends on what you want to get out of the club experience. If it takes high mileage and "extras" to be a good experience for you,then you probably should pass the NOLA clubs by. However, The Penthouse club has some seriously stunning women with damn near perfect bodies (and this is MRS m00tpoint talking here - we all know women tend to be harsher critics of our own kind than men) and gorgeous faces. The dancing and costumes also tend to of higher quality than that we have experienced other places. (I will freely admit that the majority of our experience is centered in the midwest which is NOT the SC capital of the world. LOL)
However, for overall ambiance and history, you can't beat NOLA. One needs to remember that when you are on Bourbon Street you are a few short blocks from the infamous Storyville district - a genuine legal red light district of the past. Most of Storyville is gone but you can still see the bones of what used to be the cribs occupied by the cheaper options in the district. It is not hard to close your eyes and take yourself back to that time. May Bailey's, for instance, used to be a brothel and is now a bar on Dauphine.
We visted one club on Bourbon that seemed ordinary SC when you were in the front of the club. However, when one paid for a private dance, you were escorted out through a gorgeous courtyard into small rooms with french louvered doors, a full size sofa and two arm chairs. An old time ceiling fan stirred the breeze giving the whole room a totally notstalgic aura. The lap dance we had in the area was pretty ordinary (in fact is was pretty bad as far as contact and mileage go) but it will be one that we long remember because it gave us the feel that we had entered Storyville and evoked a taste of its forbidden yet very well used pleasures. It as very cool to walk down Dauphine and see the two houses that Norma Wallace once used as high end brothels, see the building that once supplied the furnishings for the whore houses at the height of the Storyville district and to imagine ourselves in other shoes.
If you are someone who needs a happy ending or high mileage, then bypass the clubs on Bourbon and head instead out to Visions. Just make sure to take a cab as the area is much less safe than the French Quarter.
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13 years ago
The club that is ultra loud is in south Chicago.
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13 years ago
Hey, Surgin -
We are headed to WI in the next couple of weeks. Not a "strip club" focused trip but we hope to be able to escape our tribe (6 kids) to fit one or two adult nights in. *grimace* It's the Dells for us again this year because of lack of time off at work. We'll be there about a week. Any personal recommendations knowing our background? We don't mind driving a bit if we have to. We have enlisted our oldest to come for one last family vacation so we don't have to worry about how long or late we are gone.
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14 years ago
HonestT, Thanks for your comments! I agree completely that it is too loud for conversation in a lot of the clubs we have visited. One in particular is too loud for anything - even arranging dances! Women are particularly sensitive to how we look and measure up to other women - much more so that men! The physical contact is particularly important to us and helps to reassure us that while you are looking you realize you are "with" us. Silly but female.
Point two works both ways. There was (IS) a particular dancer that happened to hit MY hot button. Usually, my husband and I agree pretty completely on who we find attractive. Usually, if any difference happens, it is because I am more able to look past a tattoo or that I prefer the entertainers a bit slimmer than he does (good thing for me!). In this instance, this woman was way outside of what I would normally have selected for us. However, her personality and the sensuality she exuded while she danced was very appealing. I guess it was a bit obvious because my husband at one point asked, "Are you going home with her or me?" He was teasing but I took the hint and we focused on someone else for a while. Turned out she also gave the best dances we had of the night and now she is our ATF - lucky for me!
Next time why don't you try having your wife pick out the dancer she thinks the two of you would like best? This makes it less threatening (at least in the beginning for me) and now is almost a game to see which of us picks the hottest dancer.
And, could you talk with my husband? I would LOVE to have him tell me a hairstyle he likes. I always try to get his input and he tells me, "I love YOU. Wear your hair however it makes you happy." UGH! *smile*
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14 years ago
I don't agree at all! I sometimes wondered if it would be acceptable for me to go alone or to arrive early to wait for my husband. It is much easier for me to meet the ladies and arrange something special for him if he does not have to keep making trips to the men's room! I have seen some groups of women only in some of the clubs we frequent but not all. Write away!
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14 years ago
Thank you very much, spliz4! That is exactly the reaction we hoped to get when we published the article. Our second article is still under review but should be published shortly. It specifically contains info for women.
We just felt there had to be more couples out there like us and are very gratified to hear we were correct. If you are ever in the Chicagoland area, drop us a note and we will take you around and show you the town. There's a lot more here besides clubs!
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14 years ago
Article is written and just waiting for publication approval.
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14 years ago
Hi, Surgin.
Thanks for the clarification. It is nice to know that we were not the only one to have the experience with dancers not being particular keen on dancing for couples. I can understand why given some of the behavior I have witnessed from other women in the clubs. (And honestly from some men who have posted on here.) I will actually be addressing this in another article in just a bit - A Strip Club Primer For Women.
I believe it takes an experienced dancer to successfully dance for couples. Even then, the dance carries more risk for the dancer with it that a solo dance. A smart entertainer, however, that the rewards can be great ($ and repeat business) if she just takes a few precautionary measures first. Again, it boils down to communication which is why we HATE clubs that have the music so damn loud one cannot talk when sitting a foot away from each other!
One thing that has helped us is to have me (the wife) catch the eye of the dancer or give the tip. I respond when she asks if she can join us. I look her in the eye, offer a genuine compliment and chat with her. If we have a strong interest in a dance from her (because we usually have discussed it before she approaches) then my husband will excuse himself to get her a drink or use the restroom. This gives me time to talk with her one-on-one and tell her what we are looking for. If she is interested, which has been every time but once, then when he returns the details are worked out, she knows what we are looking for and we can go for our private dance when all three of us are ready. I ALWAYS tell our dancer that we have a special word (HELP) and that if we have to use it she should not take it personally but that we need her to stop so we can talk as a couple. We have never had a stripper be unhappy (at least to our knowledge)about dancing for us. In fact, they usually comment that they like to dance for us and the next time we are in they always come back by for another dance. Sometimes we get another dance from her and sometimes we just buy her a drink and chat a bit as we let her know we were going in another direction that evening or in one case not getting any private dances because I started not feeling well while we were waiting for her to be available. (too many shots for me :-( )
If you are ever in IL (Chicagoland) drop us a note and maybe we can visit at the same time or we can at least point you in the direction of some couple friendly entertainers.
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14 years ago
Unlike Skibum, we don't want a threesome. That would cross boundaries we are not prepared and see no need to cross. If we wanted to engage in that type of activity, we would not choose someone from a stripclub. There are more economical and safer options for that.
Our post is about how to enjoy a club together - not go together and enjoy the action separately. Maybe some would like it if you would post your own article?
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14 years ago
Hi, surgin,
The New Orleans action you mentioned was not the first we had. In fact, the first year when we thought about the club in New Orleans we chickened (ok, SHE chickened) out. We actually went to two clubs that night in NOLA. The first was dismal and I have not yet reviewed it. And, yes, we discussed what she wanted to do before she went up and did it but after we were in the club and she saw someone else get that treatment.
No, that (lying on the stage) has never happened at an IL club. Most of the IL clubs have rails along the edges of the stage which prohibit this from being possible.
Just to clarify: we do NOT attend clubs alone - either of us. For us this is strictly a couple thing.
And, no, if one talks about the private action in the back, it does not necessarily mean your lady will get pissed off. As long as the two of you have agreed on and respect the boundaries.
I think you totally miss the point of our article. It was how to have a hot time at the strip club TOGETHER. ALL of our dances in private are done together. We tried two dancers one time and it did not work as well for us because we could not see and participate with the other person getting the dance.
No stones....just our preference.
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14 years ago
docdangerous, thanks for your comments. You are wrong on one thing though: if she feels pressured you are NOT screwed. LOL
- the wife of the couple
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14 years ago
Thanks very much, Joker. If there is something in particular you are looking for please let us know. We are going to do some exploring outside of our home area very soon.
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14 years ago
magunum0077 - If that works for both of you - go for it. That would not have worked for us, and from the majority of things I read about men trying to convince their ladies to go to a club with them, for the majority of couples either.
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14 years ago
Stiletto25 - thanks for your comments and for helping to reinforce that entertainers are not there to try and upset the woman or cause an undesirable conflict in a couple. Since you are in the business, we are always open to any suggestions or clubs you can recommend.
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14 years ago
Thank you bang69! We plan a follow up article written by my wife on etiquette for the woman in a couple some time later this week.
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14 years ago
loonylarry - thanks for your comments. Certainly for some the lesbian possibility and threesome fantasy enters in. Probably we will talk more about that in another article later. The key for us is that neither of us just watches regardless of who is getting the dance. The other partner is always involved on some level even if it is her stroking my hair or whispering in my ear. One of the hottest time we had was the entertainer sucking my finger while my wife licked my knuckles. That, incidentally, led to the first girl-girl kiss my wife had ever experienced. It seemed natural that as their mouths were both working on my finger and knuckles that it evolved into a very sensual kiss between the two of them. My wife later told me she had orchestrated it by placing her mouth there hoping the entertainer would cooperate. That made it way hotter.