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m00tpoint

"Gentleman's Clubs" by nature contain a majority of male customers in the audience on any given night. However, if one looks closely, especially on weekends, a trend has been developing and more and more clubs are beginning to market to that trend - the couple as a customer. As an increasing number of women begin to visit this previously almost exclusively male domain, it is difficult to find anywhere that tells a woman what to expect or what the etiquette of a strip club expects. It is my hope that this "primer" will help to make your first visit more comfortable or enable you to have a better club experience.

Tip #1:

Go early enough to get a table or seat where you are comfortable. Some clubs show a lot more skin and are more graphic than others. Unless your partner has made a "reconnaissance" mission to get the lay of the land (so to speak), find out what the normal stage show is like or you have been there before, it is difficult to know what one might see until one is there. If you are uncomfortable with having a dancer's kitty on display, for instance, it is not suggested that you sit at the tip rail in a club that is known for graphic dances. If, like me, you have some back and neck issues, sitting on a barstool all night is going to be mighty uncomfortable physically and mean you don't have a good experience. Get there early enough to take time to feel comfortable and sit where you want to sit.

Tip #2:

Understand the entertainers are not there to steal your man. It is not a contest although I can guarantee you that you will feel like it is at least once during a club visit. That is normal. We are women and have insecurities just as they are men and like looking at naked women. LOL Just remind yourself that the most attractive thing about your man in her eyes is his wallet and you have at least some control over that. (I strongly suggest the two of you determine a budget before the club visit and an approximation of how that money will be spent.)

An experienced entertainer will recognize that your presence can loosen the wallet of some of the other male customers if the two of you work as a team. Do not be surprised if you get more attention than your male partner in the beginning. She is testing the waters to make sure you are safe and to gauge how far she can go with you. If she feels she can fondle your breasts or more without incident, she may involve you in her next stage dance to help increase her tips. If she tells you more than once that she is going to dance next or asks if you want to sit at the rail when she dances, this may be what she has in mind. On numerous occasions I have seen a pretty slow night turned around by a dancer and a willing female patron at the stage. On one occasion, I even heard a "Hell, YEAH!" from a gentleman that previously appeared uninterested in much of anything.

Tip #3:

Dancers are PEOPLE. They deserve to be treated as such. They have feelings too. Talk to them as you want to be talked to. Treat them with as much respect and as you want to be treated. Just because they take their clothes off and make a man feel special for their job does not mean you can treat them like dirt. I am totally disgusted by the women (AND MEN) I see that treat strippers as if they are less of a person. If you do not believe this in your gut, STAY HOME.

Likewise, if your goal is to test your man, to see if he becomes aroused by other women, STAY HOME! You will only cause a scene and, trust me, some things are better left to wondering than knowing. Always remember, DO NOT ASK THE QUESTION UNLESS YOU ARE 200% SURE YOU WANT THE ANSWER REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS. The other patrons will not feel sorry for you if you flip out or put yourself in a situation you cannot handle. You will just look ridiculous at best. Do not do that to yourself!

Tip #4:

If you and your partner have discussed and opted to get dances, either table side or in private, it is easier for the dancer to know it is safe for her to approach if the woman makes eye contact and smiles. Another way for you to let her know you are interested in chatting or spending some time with her is for the female to tip her even if you are not sitting at the stage.

A dancer entertaining a couple takes a significantly greater risk than one entertaining a solitary male. No dancer wants drama and couples present a much greater risk for drama than a solo customer. Your body language goes a long way to let her know you are safe or a risk. If you are sitting with your arms crossed over your chest, your lips pursed and throwing daggers with your eyes, NO dancer is going to dance for you. The potential tip is not worth the risk.

Tip #5:

Communicate with your dancer - preferably before you all get to the private or semi-private dance rooms. If you have rules as a couple or if certain types of contact are outside your comfort zone, communicate those to your dancer. It will be a much better experience for all of you. If you and your partner have an emergency word make sure to tell the dancer so she knows to stop what she is doing if one of you uses it.

If it is your first time in a club and you have not been given a tour, it is ok to ask for one so that you know what the rooms and pricing are like. It is also acceptable to ask the dancer for pricing and what is expected. Some clubs expect a tip for the bouncer if you are going VIP or Champagne room. Some it is optional. The tour also lets you know if the accommodations in the room will work for what you have in mind. The last thing you want is to expect to be able to sit beside your man and to talk to him or touch him during the dance (or visa versa) and to get back to the room and find out there is no room on the sofa or, as in one club we went to, not even room for you to be in the room to watch. Both have happened to us. It is much better to find out by talking with the dancer before hand to avoid a potentially uncomfortable situation or one where you won't be able to get what you think you are paying for.

Tip #6:

TIP! If you have been lucky enough to find a dancer who will charge you one flat fee for both to go back and share a multi-song set you are indeed lucky. Some clubs charge per person so a $30 dance is really $60 for a couple. Our favorite club allows us to go back as a couple and only charges one song fee for both of us to sit on the same love seat with one dancer. This can vary by dancer even in the same club so make sure to ask. Even if, especially if, there is one fee, BOTH of you should tip. After all, two people are enjoying her dance. Depending on the quality of the dance I have tipped almost as much as the cost of the dance set. Believe me! It paid off. Word got back to the other dancers that this couple had a woman that was cool with dancers and we had company the rest of the night even though we never got any more private dances.

Tip #7

If you are sitting at the rail or stage level, see tip #6. In this instance, both of you should tip every dancer that is one stage while you are sitting there. If you don't want to tip that much, move. You are taking up a seat for a customer that will tip and impacting the dancer's bottom line. If you tip well at the rail you will never want for company at the tables.

Tip #8

If you have a favorite dancer, do not hesitate to tell other dancers that you are waiting for her. Your dancer will love you for it and the other dancers know and respect that some customers have a favorite or are a regular. in the end, it saves them time and lets them know they can focus on other potential customers.

Tip #9

Dress like a woman and play up your best physical attribute when you go to the club. I am not advocating dressing like a stripper. In fact, just the opposite. Clothing that is too flashy or trashy detracts from the entertainers. Looking great, however, whatever that means for you personally, is a great way to boost your self-confidence and help you relax. I personally always wear something that accents by bust and makes me feel hot. It helps tremendously to look over and catch my husband sneaking a peak at my cleavage while I am watching a dancer on stage. (It also has given some of our entertainers ideas during dances and that increases the arousal level for him!)

In the beginning, I was uncomfortable with wearing something too revealing to a gentleman's club fearing that I might have to deal with some of the men in the club. This has never been the case. I have had men ask if they can buy a lap dance FOR me - which was a huge ego booster and hot for my husband and I have had men ask me if my breasts were real but never anything out of line.

Tip #10

If you feel like you becoming increasingly uncomfortable, you are becoming jealous or just not having a good time, tell your partner that you would like to leave or need some time. He should then focus on you until you are comfortable or the two of you should leave. Do not force yourself to stay and put on a brave front or fake it. In the long run you will do more harm. It is better to just say, "I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and need to talk with you. Could we please leave for a while?" Or, better yet, we have a simple word (HELP) that tells the other person we are feeling confused, jealous or need to slow down. This word immediately results in us at least talking alone if not leaving. (and yes, we have used it twice) If you leave voluntarily you have a shot at talking out whatever is amiss and visiting another day if you decide that is what you want to do. Risking a confrontation or jealous blow up is never a good idea and does harm to your relationship.

Strip clubs are not for everyone. Going as a couple is not for everyone. It is ok if you decide this is not for you or your don't like it. Strippers can be interesting people to talk with and can help you understand more about yourself. Let's face it, for most of us, they can also teach us a few new ways to move or bring to light something we did not know our man liked or wanted to try. They help open up the lines of communication with our significant other - and that is always a positive thing!

If you are ever headed to IL, specifically the Chicagoland area, check our our reviews or drop us a note and we will be glad to recommend a couple-friendly club and possibly even a particular dancer.

Happy Clubbing!