discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
BTW, I prefer long term relationships which I think a small guy should in theory probably value much more than a big guy.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Hi Bobbyl,
"I can't really think of a good simple explanation to that. I think the whole thing is complicated. Basically we are social creatures and our social standing must have had a strong impact on the survival and reproductive chances of us and our offspring. And then who we fucked had an impact on our social standing."
That is a very interesting idea. I would predict that small guys (such as myself) would generally be much more finicky than big guys. The social standing of big guys would seem to be much more secure in that fighting and protecting abilities wayyyyyy back would be highly valued for group survival. The big guys could probably fuck ugly and pretty without risking their social standing. A small guy fucking a disgusting looking woman would not only have the disadvantage of being small, but that added disgrace that he is paired with ugly. The reason the small guy isn't fucking everything in sight like the big guy is because the risk of confrontation with the big guys would skyrocket. Much better to find one hottie to pair with so that risk of confrontation is reduced and social standing is increased via association with a hottie.
discussion comment
16 years ago
Hi arbeeguy,
YMMV YMMV YMMV :) Yes, that is often true. I don't know if the stripper was telling the truth. My guess is that it was a lie, but I don't know that. She could have just been in the mood.
Strippers often "know" about me based on stereotypes of other customers. Sometimes it is right on the mark and sometimes it is dead wrong. I think also there is a tendency to project for both dancers and customers. Dancers who are very giving and honest to their detriment project qualities on to their customers, but usually the dancer will learn quite fast that there are a lot of miserable customers.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Decades ago I was teasing a buddy about being afraid of breasts, which due to his religious beliefs he was definitely afraid of. Well, his wife who was younger and much more aggressive stood up for her man. She made it sound like no attractive woman was safe because his lust was so insatiable. It was hilarious and the truth is although my buddy was a top quality person, he was afraid of women including his wife who was definitely aggressive. Did she want some namby pamby afraid to strike while the iron is hot man? HELL NO!!! She considered her man to be a predator who had to fight against his extreme manly instincts. The idea that any man especially her husband would be afraid of breasts was repulsive to her. Just as repulsive to her, imo, is the thought he would or could turn down an offer of free sex from a hot woman.
Basically, I think most women want aggressive dominant males. The tall healthy man generally has an advantage over the short healthy male for this reason. The man chasing and catching skirts generally has an advantage over the "castrated" male for the same reason. It is all about dominance and aggression. How can a man truly be aggressive and dominant if he refuses hotties that are pushing their favors on him?
I don't think there needs to be a "tinge" of non-monogamy, but rather an unapolegetic statement that part of being a man is desiring and catching women and none of this equality crapola! Men don't need to apologize for being men and wanting their women to be women.
Having said all that, some women prefer short men who are obedient. That is fine and dandy. I just can't see becoming aggressive to cater to the desires of hot women----it takes too much work and it is a lie. Be yourself and if you have "negatives" e.g. short, docile, obedient, the best bet, imo, is to meet more women. There is definitely a woman out there that will be a win/win, but it takes a lot of exposure. Heck, there are even hot young women who love short, poor, old men! Yes, it is a tiny minority, but they exist. :)
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
there wasn't lasting desire.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
"On the subject of 'lowering your standards.' Frankly, it's not ME that has standards, it's my dick. I related very early in this thread when I told the anecdote, of having a woman sucking my cock, and because I didn't find her visually attractive enough, instead of enjoying the experience I simply fell asleep. It was rather difficult to stay interested. This anecdote, as far as I can determine, makes very clear that we're talking about my autonomous, non-voluntary responses, and not about my choices or my volitional responses. I CAN'T HELP IT. So, if I find a woman who is NOT HOT ENOUGH, then there won't be any "lowering my standards" to suddenly declare that she now IS HOT ENOUGH. No, she stays as hot-enough or as un-hot-enough as MY DICK says."
MY DICK, unfortunately feels the same way. I don't see a genetic advantage to that, btw. Seems like I should be willing and able to fuck any fertile woman. With hot women I'm transformed into SUPERMAN (for my age) and with regular or ugly women it is just work. Even at my sexual peak, the hot women were so much better that it seemed almost like a waste of time to go for second level and it was in that there was lasting desire.
A woman's beauty in my eyes is ALL important.
Even if the regular or ugly woman had skill, for me, it wasn't a substitute for looks. And, NO---I don't give a damn about any trophy nonsense---as far as I'm concerned she could wear a burka in public or go prancing around in a bikini.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Correction:
President Bush is generally seen as a pea-brain and abject-failure.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Very poor example between Bill Clinton and George Bush. President is generally seen as a pea-brain and abject-failure.
Well, I know at least one dance who would tell she is more attracted to an unfaithful man. Probably me she considers it macho and loves competition to be the guy's number one ho.
Is there a way to prove it? My guess is the Freaknomics author could probably devise a clever test to try and get the answer. I think you are on the mark, btw.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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minnowAny place that interests me.
I think part of the issue is that if a word or phrase has multiple meanings, then that somehow VOIDS the word entirely. Also, for some reason some posters have added reciprocity to the definition.
I think Bobbyl hit the nail on the head. It isn't about whether a customer can have an ATF or multiple ATFs. It is the worn-out one-size-fits-all notion that all strippers: 1) Don't REALLY like you and 2) She just wants your money. Sorry, this stereotyping is totally boring and brain-dead if it is applied to all dancers. Besides even if somehow all dancers marched in lock step on those two ideas does it make a bit of difference? I suppose to many customers it might.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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minnowAny place that interests me.
Correction:
Again, I don't see where ATF liking you or disliking you or not giving an F about you makes a bit of difference as to whether she is an ATF.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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minnowAny place that interests me.
"Now I made a specific factual claim, but what's the evidence for what I am saying? Well, for one, you notice she never gave you dances for free when you were broke, she just sat and talked. Why? Because giving you a free dance would have defeated the whole purpose, and "the whole purpose" is to make money, in this case by keeping you interested and getting you to keep visiting the club."
I've gotten "free" dances when going to the club without sufficient funds. It is usually just good customer service. I've had ATFs who refused to do paid dances--defeats my reason for going to the club. Gambling dancer made the idiotic statement that NO dancer will refuse to sell me dances because the dancer likes me---it was idiotic because she is exhibit "A." When I pointed that out to her she does a bunch of confused double talk complaining among other things that I treat her like a friend and that if I would act like a customer then she would treat me like a customer.
Again, I don't see where ATF liking you are disliking you or not giving an F about you makes a bit of difference to whether she is an ATF. Also, as far as ATF, I may apply that to one dancer because she does a great job and happens to have extreme intelligence. Another, might be an ATF just for one particular club. Still, another might be an ATF because not only does she do an excellent job, but she will give people the shirt off her back. When it comes to an ATF who can make me see stars there is one clear winner that is far ahead of any women. I almost regret not trying to bend about my rule about keeping it paid, but I believe that would have been a real a mess. She cut me off and told me she didn't want to see me again. I saw her about six months later at a different club and tried to patch things up--didn't work and just made her more upset. If she would have used her brain instead of going by feelings, then she wouldn't of given me the time of day except for the $$$.
Finally, yes there are norms and I think overwhelmingly dancers don't consider customers as friends, however, the one-size-fits-all mentality is more than a little grating; it's idiotic in the extreme. It is like when a man or woman tells me that I have to feel X, Y, or Z and can't feel A, B, or C. It is absurd and brain-dead. It is like saying all men have to be attracted to women or a man can't be attracted to a Walmart Blubber Blob of a woman.
Now, if a person is speaking about general rules then yes it can make a lot of sense. I don't even know why it would be important for a dancer to see a person as more than a customer as long as the customer is happy. Now, I need and look for the GFE----that can just be a dancer doing an excellent acting job and that is fine and dandy, imo.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Well, I received my first marriage proposal yesterday! :) No, she is *NOT young* and she isn't a stripper or sex worker. I've been a friend of hers for years. Turns out she is jealous of gambling dancer, which is a real laugh because she knows that gambling dancer is a sex worker. I definitely said NO to the offer and my friend complained that it was due to gambling dancer. I explained that I don't believe in marriage and that I'm too old for marriage and etc. My friend wants to know why I spend so much time with gambling dancer and why she is always calling me then. I tell her that gambling dancer doesn't spend a lot of time with me and she isn't always calling me and that I'm a long time customer of gambling dancer!
Bottom line it seems like my friend is a lot more interested in me since she has actually met and seen gambling dancer. BTW, gambling dancer has a man.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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minnowAny place that interests me.
Many years ago an ATF who I'd only known a couple of weeks came over to my home. I'd promised her that it wouldn't be for sex; just dances. Well, she was so reluctant that I didn't understand why she was making so a big deal out of nothing. After finally getting her into my bedroom she declares that I better have condoms or I really am not getting any. She was stunned that I was honest about just wanting dances claiming NO guy is honest about that.
This dancer is only an ATF in the sense that there was some type of "chemical" explosions where I was just seeing stars she was so good. She was that much better *for me* than any other woman. Everything seemed fantastic afterwards and I was looking forward to a long term paid relationship with a dancer who could literally make me see stars. Next time I see her in the club it is all bad. :( She announces that she isn't going to sell me dances anymore and that she wants to date for real. I explained the age difference and that I was a horrible boyfriend and etc., but she held her position and finally asked me to leave and not come back.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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minnowAny place that interests me.
ATF status has nothing to do with with whether the dancer actually truly likes me. It is how I feel about her due to the services she performs.
Now, if the dancer actually has to like you for there to be an ATF that isn't out of the question for even old and ugly customers. Gambling dancer still calls and comes over to say hi or shoot the breeze or to use my computer (she doesn't really need to use my computer, btw), but she won't sell dances or other services. She'll give them away, but that is a negative situation to get into, imo, with her or any other woman. Paying is a lot cheaper.
For those men who want "free" more power to you. I think it is far better to pay. Unfortunately, it seems like *some* dancers when they start caring about you refuse to accept money.
discussion comment
16 years ago
Hell, I think Cinammon wouldn't have been out of line being much more aggressive. Like, I hate it when customers clap because it is not only nerdy, but more importantly those hands need to be forking over the dead presidents!
discussion comment
16 years ago
"I really hope you guys don't mind a dancer popping in here to give her opinion...Ok, for me personally (and for other dancers I've spoken to about this) PLEASE do not applaud. I feel like this, if you enjoyed the show THAT much (to applaud that is) then why not show your appreciation by tipping the lady?
Not to be rude, but clapping doesn't pay my bills, getting tipped on stage does."
I didn't think Cinammon was out of line in the least. Of course, I dislike clapping at a stripclub whether forced or voluntary. But, heck if clapping is a positive for you then go for it! Some dancers love clapping and others don't care for it or would much rather see some dollar bills.
Hell, I think Cinammon wouldn't haven't been out of line being much more aggressive. Like, I hate it when customers clap because it is not only nerdy, but more importantly those hands need to be forking over the dead presidents!
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Hi AbbieNormal,
One or two dancers doesn't equal much in the way of proof, but gambling dancer said she would often only become interested in her man when he was cheating. She didn't want it to be that way, but thought it got her competitive juices flowing. Again, another incident involving gambling dancer. I had agreed to meet her at Angels and didn't think much of it at the time because I was going fairly frequently. Another dancer who usually shows minimal interest in me e.g. she will sit for a couple minutes or just say hello and leave, sits down and I explain that I had come in for gambling dancer. I did this so she wouldn't be offended when I declined her offer of dances and then I might immediately start getting dances from gambling dancer.
I had expected her to either excuse herself or just spend a couple minutes as per usual. Nope. She didn't want to leave my table and was very interested in talking with me. It was like she'd gotten bitten by the love bug. Well after a half hour gambling dancer shows up by the side of the table and she still doesn't want to leave! Remember this is a dancer who normally has little to NO interest in me.
I ended up getting out of my chair and excusing myself to get another table with gambling dancer. The other dancer became more angry and wanted to fight gambling dancer. I step between them and remind her that I was waiting for gambling dancer. Both dancers are hot now, but I keep them separated and take gambling dancer to a far away table. Gambling dancer says heatedly that I should have told her that I had a girlfriend in the club! I explained that the dancer usually has NO interest in me and that I had told her that I was waiting for gambling dancer because she'd called.
Upon leaving the club the fireworks started again between gambling dancer and the other dancer and I had to use a little more than light force to separate them. It was weird, but to me it showed "competition" or "cheating" stroked the fires of interest, which seems not unreasonable because some people are extremely competitive.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Book Guy,
You *might* want to overlook idiotic statements in the beginning because that can hide a very interesting or compatible woman. For me it isn't easy, but there is gold in them there hills! :) Also, a person's writing can give a distorted picture. For example, Shadowcat has said a few times, and he may be 100% correct, that certain posters would see him very differently if they met him in person. Heck, who knows parodyman might even like him. ;)
discussion comment
16 years ago
Hi Book Guy,
FRIENDS!!! :) That (the right friends) is a huge deal assuming you don't want to follow the path of getting an in demand degree or toiling for many years to try and climb the ladder somewhere. There is also luck, but part of the luck is looking ahead. For example, President Bush was praising a the idea of a lower dollar way before it happened because it creates "jobs." It also creates opportunities for speculators who looked ahead. A lot of morons, imo they're morons, sincerely believe in debasing a currency to create an export market i.e. jobs. A good portion of Americans whimper about sending "jobs" overseas, but the problem isn't sending "jobs" overseas . . . the problem is what happens if foreign nations suddenly decide they want real money or a lot more of your "funny" money?
You know the "fake" energy crisis? Fake is probably way too harsh a word, but a good portion of the higher price is merely a reflection of a cheaper dollar. Who knows the dollar may collapse completely so that President Bush's dream of creating millions of new jobs is realized as America becomes a net exporter instead of an importer. And, if the dollar collapses completely then $10 per gallon gas may seem like the good old days.
discussion comment
16 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
"This is the second recent OP that really makes me feel terrible for the single guys out there. I think this is a subject that does not get the attention it deserves."
I feel terrible for *most* married men. Perhaps I know the wrong men and women, but marriage seems like total garbage. LTRs, are thumbs up, imo, btw. And, in those few, very few, happy marriages it seems like either the man is getting sex outside of marriage or he has a tiny sex drive like his wife. And, yes the wife having a tiny sex drive seems to be the norm.
Hungry older women? Yes, and by and large those women get hit on from what I've seen. An older women friend with a strong sex drive was complaining to me about the lack of men. From what I could see despite her age and lack of looks she was definitely getting attention from ugly men. When I ask her about it, she was like yes, but those aren't the men she is interested in.
I have NO interest in older women. Getting zero is better than being with an older woman for me. With a young hottie my body feels like Superman! With an old hottie my body feels like it just wants sleep and NO sexual contact please! It isn't a choice, but rather how my body responds. Yes, the older woman is generally an excellent fit as far as friendship or conversation because it seems like being old that I have much more in common with older women.
discussion comment
16 years ago
A man that I didn't know too well said regarding his incarceration experiences that the jails here in Dade County were far different than he had expected. The man was a white collar professional in some boring occupation and his intelligence seemed to be massive. Sort of irritating that he was so sharp and fast.
According to him the vast majority of prisoners he came into contact with were in prison solely because they were too slow mentally to be integrated into a modern society without someone holding their hand at every step: Adults in need of good parents. The next sizeable portion of the prison population were those that were too bright and who refused to play by established rules. The ordinary Joe of average intelligence was the smallest segment and was so small it could almost be dismissed.
Oh yes, why was this white collar professional possessing extreme intelligence being repeatedly incarcerated? Divorce Court.
The Chef who is going to spend the next 10 years in prison being rehabilitated seems like just another dumb dumb that got caught in the net. On the positive side he creates jobs---assuming of course job creation is a good thing. :)
Good advice, btw, DickJohnson. Dudester, I'm not sure about the FBI NOT lurking everywhere! ;) But, you're probably right . . . still I think the foreign governments are pressured to make arrests from time to time and receive U.S. kickbacks for doing so. Still if I was given a choice between doing time in a U.S. prison or a South American prison my guess from the propaganda I viewed on the Discovery Channel is to take the South American prison every time. But, heck Discovery Channel might just trying to make a buck more than provide news and education.
discussion comment
16 years ago
"You as a scientist, you call it the -- approaching singularity, that all of a sudden there's this gigantic change and a leap like you can't believe. He says that the country will be able to be run on solar power alone within five years, that we don't have the solar power panels now but they are so close because technology doubles every year. So it's, once you hit one, then the next year it hits two. Then it hits four, then it hits eight, then it hits 16. It's 30 steps to a billion, once you hit one. So we've already hit one with solar panels. In fact, we're far past that. We are now at the point that in five years, he said, solar panels will be able to capture and convert and store all of the energy needs for the entire planet within five years. And when this man speaks, because of his credentials, because of who he is and what he has done in the past, you actually will believe him." ---- http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/10586/ ----
I've been a long time doubter of solar power, but I think the game may be changing for a whole new way of life. Many many years a top government official had predicted that his grandchildren wouldn't even comprehend being charged for power. That power would be plentiful, free, and clean. I always admired that man's vision and was surprised that it didn't become a reality and perhaps it never will. My bet is that not only isn't there an energy crisis, but that energy in the fairly near future will be plentiful, free, and clean.
On the downside and it seems like there is always a downside: Prisons should be a truly booming business because with free energy there won't be much of a cost constraint to warehousing people non-stop.
discussion comment
16 years ago
Hi snowtime,
Yes and only 1 minute apart. :)
discussion comment
16 years ago
Young and in shape are a must. Ideally she can deliver the GFE: that isn't code for extras, btw. It is more the feeling that this woman is a girlfriend. A dancer that can pull this off is usually into confelicity or is fairly dead cold to caring other people's feelings. Of course, I prefer the former to the latter. Confelicity seems to be a fairly rare trait.
Gambling dancer, one of my favorites because she is capable of giving a GFE is fairly ice cold about customers falling in love and getting hurt. I was happy when she was ice cold in regards to me because she delivered what I needed.
discussion comment
16 years ago
I don't like clapping, but then I'm not interested in the stage show except to see how the dancer looks without her clothing.
At times I've considered it lame when the club would attempt to get the customers to clap----usually successfully, but then I think well some people or most people like that. And, more importantly maybe the dancers appreciate some applause even if it is forced.