discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi driver01,
I typed that "I also notice that I smile (symbolicly) much more over the internet than IRL. :)." Wasn't even thinking about the internet babes when I typed that.
Flesh and blood naked women surrounding me in mass doesn't do much for me unless they're available. I'd rather watch internet porn. :)
Fortunately, this request to smile is limited almost exclusively to stripclubs, ime. At that it normally doesn't seem friendly. One exception was a sweet girl, non-stripclub & non-sex, who practically did back flips to try and get me to smile. I didn't believe in smiling so I didn't smile. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hopefully, you had a good time. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi David9999,
The "are you happy tonight" doesn't bother me at all and I've heard that more than a few times. Probably in part because it is not a command or judgement (depending on how she says it). Also, it just seems like other service businesses where they genuinely want to know if you're satisfied.
I get it from the uglies and there is a good reason I don't smile at them! The neon sign analogy!!! (Excellent.) But, I also get it from the hotties and usually (better than 90%) they're a ROB. :(
Smiling (even artifical) is supposed to release a feel good endomorph (?) and at least for me it works--yet I don't like it. I'd rather have something real to smile about-even most "happy" drugs are better than the forced smile. Hot nekkid ladies, ain't enough to a smile on my face. I can see super hot on the internet. It is getting what I need that will make me happy--not sure if I will smile.
If I am happy, then the best way for the dancer to get me to smile is to do a lot of smiling on her own. If she has a good smile, then it is super attractive. :) I also notice that I smile (symbolicly) much more over the internet than IRL. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Do threads ever stay on topic? ;)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Oh, how could I have forgotten! I had some meetings with a husband and wife who were both junkies (heroin addicts) the husband far moreso than the wife. Both of them detested the government every which way and wanted all "recreational" drugs legalized. Refreshing. The husband wasn't in too good a shape overall, but seemed very happy. The wife was in surprisingly good shape and also a happy person. They had a beautiful little girl who was only like 5 years old. It was sad seeing her growing up in those surroundings even though both her parents seemed to love and care for her.
Both parents claimed the heroin had "saved" them. That before the "wonder" drug their lives were just horrible. I was looking at "home" that their were living in and thinking it looks pretty horrible right now. :( Why was I there? Looking for cheap hookers and some people would consider that "horrible."
discussion comment
17 years ago
A couple of heroin addicts (one female, the other male) told me independently that they strongly supported the government's war on drug dealers (especially) and drug users. Both said that they had tried to quit more than a few times, but were just too weak. Both looked bad to some degree. The girl, very attractive, had needle marks all along her arm and appeared to be in extreme pain because she needed a fix. The guy showed me where he had, had major surgery supposedly due to his drug abuse--I think it was on his liver. Anyway the scar from what he said an operation looked gruesome. :(
So if these 2 drug addicts genuinely condemn drug use (especially heroin) while using heroin, then you'd consider them hypocrites? They aren't "pretending" or "feigning" anything although their actions may be viewed as being in conflict with their beliefs. In short, they don't meet the definition of being hypocrites nor even the sense of the word.
Now, if these 2 drug addicts yapped about the evils of drugs and believed the exact opposite that would be a different ball game . . .
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi MIDancer,
I wasn't thinking about respect especially not for bad behaviour. Some people would think that a woman telling me that I'm too short for her is "bad behaviour." That is a matter of opinion. Being short I happen to appreciate it when a woman makes it clear why I'm getting kicked to the curb. Anyway, probably whatever she told be I would try and see it from her POV. A super hot black dancer told be just didn't like (or hated?) whites and thus refused to dance for me. Some people would consider that "bad behaviour."
Feel free not to see or sympathize/empathize with someone else's bad behaviour. I truly believe that it does a disservice to yourself, but heck I could definitely be wrong about that since I'm not you. Just as eating peanuts or walking is healthy for most people doesn't mean those activities are healthy for all people. To sympathize/emphathise with another's bad behaviour may just be the wrong course for you. Leaving his table or lap sounds like a good course action, also, btw, imo. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi Yoda,
Oh really, now?
hyp·o·crite
–noun 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite
Not even a little bit, imo, Yoda. See I could believe that marijuana is the evil of all evils and beg the U.S. government to make it a death crime to protect the people. At the very same time I could admit to smoking marijuana and breaking god knows what laws that are already in place. It wouldn't make me a hypocrite in the least under that scenario.
Now, if I started yapping for the U.S. government to make "evil" marijuana a death crime for sellers or users or buyers to protect the people when in fact I actually believed that marijuana wasn't "evil" at all, then that would be hypocritical.
Do you see the difference? In the first scenario I'm using "evil" marijuana while at the same time begging the U.S. government to make it a death crime. Even though I'm using "evil" marijuana, I actually believe it is evil and wonderful government needs to employ some good all old fashioned terrorism to stop "evil" marijuana from hurting people.
In second scenario, I'm also advocating that "evil" marijuana be made a death crime. However, I don't believe marijuana is even a little "evil." That is hypocritical.
Here is another example that might be a little easy to understand. I think consuming vast amounts of French fries is very unhealthy. And, lecture children on all the health problems consuming vast amounts of French fries may cause and I sincerely believe what I'm telling the children. A week later the children see me eating 50 orders of French fries with absolute glee---even better than sex! One brain dead child calls me a hypocrite. I say, Say, what? The child explains that I don't really believe consuming vast amounts French fries is very unhealthy. I laugh and reply, Of course I do believe it is very unhealthy you little retard. Did it ever occur to that I'm weak and don't want others to destroy their bodies the way I am? I need federal legislation to protect me from french fries! :)
Keywords in my cited definition are "pretend" and "feign." I'm may ask people to please not act like an asshole even though I'm the biggest asshole in the world! As the world's biggest asshole, I feel that I can speak with authority that it isn't all it is cracked up to be and being a nice person is the path to travel. IOWs, I ain't "pretend" or "feign" nothing. I'm being 100% real. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
I like spinners BIG time. :) But, sans condom? Shoot might as well send you to the Russian front.
discussion comment
17 years ago
">7. Recognize customers do have preferences that may not be rational.
>8. Recognize customers may not share your cultural values.
>9. Repeat several times a day if I walked in *their* shoes (same body, mind, experiences, etc.) then I might be just like them.
>10. Link with No. 9 do try and excuse bad behaviour if possible or at the very least don't let it eat at you!
>11. Linked with No. 9 & No. 10 do try and identify with your customer.<
All of 7-11 are for hyper-fragile customers who look to strippers for approval. I'm not one of them. "
Hi chandler,
I wonder how you came up with that? 7-11 is more geared to helping the dancer. For example, No. 7 states: "Recognize customers do have preferences that may not be rational." This is somehow looking for dancer approval? LOL! Naw, looks like you're projecting. Or, No. 8 "8. Recognize customers may not share your cultural values." Again, that is more geared to the dancer who gets all bent out of shape because the guy is an asshole or at she perceives him to be an asshole. A couple of time I've done what some muslims consider to be totally disgusting--one time it was picking up the man's shoes and bringing them inside. That upset the particular muslim that I was dealing with and he let me know that his shoes were unclean, blah, blah, blah. If a dancer recognizes that not every customer is going to understand or accept her cultural values, then it is generally better for everyone, imo. Same deal with No. 9 that states: "Repeat several times a day if I walked in *their* shoes (same body, mind, experiences, etc.) then I might be just like them." Nothing to do about seeking dancer approval---NOT that I see anything wrong with a customer that is into for any number of reasons. That is a whole thread or several threads of discussion. :) I don't think 10 and 11 need to be restated, but again it is really more for the dancer. Feel free to twist or interpret them any which way you so desire. People do disagree all the time. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hello again Yoda,
For whatever reason your post reminded me of the old saying: Do as I say not as I do. I hated that saying growing up. Sure enough I used it in trying to give good advice to a neighbor child. I'm not sure what the advice was maybe something like don't break the law or look both ways when crossing the street. It was pretty standard advice that adults bestow on children. So when I gave the child the Do as I say blah blah line he asks Why not? Confidently, I say you don't want to end up like me do you? Unfortunately and surprisingly, the child said yes. :( Fortunately, the child's father was an excellent role model and I pointed out all the wonderful things about his dad. That did seem to work.
discussion comment
17 years ago
"Generally, a stripper who needs to be told of her obligations isn't the kind who will ever fulfill them."
Hopefully, strippers learn and their learnt lessons might earn them your business while not losing more business than they gained. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
eth·i·cal
1. pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality; pertaining to right and wrong in conduct.
2. being in accordance with the rules or standards for right conduct or practice, esp. the standards of a profession: It was not considered ethical for physicians to advertise.
3. (of drugs) sold only upon medical prescription.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ethical
Hi Yoda,
I don't really care for ethics much or at least how I've seen it advocated. Someone else may have a list of ethical obligations that is very different. So, I guess we take a vote to see who's right or righter? :)
Is there a conflict with asking dancers not to be "assholes" and also asking them to try and be understanding if the customer is acting like an "asshole"?
discussion comment
17 years ago
Maybe it was about 5 years ago. The Herald did a story on the ***elderly*** duking it out over rudeness. I think the sad thing was that one of the parties, the man that died, had extreme difficulty hearing. The first party confronted the second party over perceived rudeness and before you know it one old man was dead and the other was facing the end of his life at the hands of the criminal justice system.
Surprisingly, both men had good reputations and no prior problems with the law. If my memory is correct and much of the "rudeness" was due to the man's lack of ability to hear, then it makes it especially sad. :(
discussion comment
17 years ago
As previously argued different people have different ideas of what constitutes bad behavior. And, when people are expected or forced to put on a "face" it promotes dishonesty.
If you aren't being well treated, then why would you care about the rest of society? In a dispute with my neighbor I knew I was in the wrong, but acted like a total asshole. She even ordered her husband to attack me, which he had the good sense to refuse. (I then taunted her about going "criminal." She was a law and order nut.) Her husband was a very nice man. She was the law this and the law that. I said you believe in the law so there is no reason for anger just use the police or courts to resolve the problem. It is so simple. She wanted me to be reasonable. I basically said screw that the attorneys need more money and more work. You believe in this garbage country so you have nothing to lose by attempting to resolve this matter through the proper channels. Amazingly years later we patched over our differences. She never did understand why I acted like a total asshole. The reason may sound crazy, but if you are going to yap about how fair and honest the courts are then I feel you should get first hand experience. You might be treated well or you might learn something. She might have prevailed in court and the court would have been right to rule in her favor! (imo)
I would have ignored him most likely. When young of course and possessing "higher" moral values I would probably have been in his face big time demanding he show some courtesy. The other solution is to see if the manager agrees with you first and second is he willing to do anything.
I feel like I suffered through worse in movies. The theater is empty and these two young women were surprisingly loud. I asked politely could they please talk more quitely and the response was essentially go to hell. And, that was that until the movie ended. Again, I was surprised in that leaving the theater they want to start trouble! First, they refused my request to please speak more quietly during the movie and then continued speaking loudly throughout with me just deciding to accept it. Second, they wish to start trouble outside the theater? Unreal. I just laughed and said you all don't realize it, but you've definitely found what you're looking for. It took a few seconds for it to sink in, but suddenly they realized that maybe picking a fight wasn't such a brilliant idea on their part. I allowed them to retreat, but said you know the next person might not let you retreat so be careful.
Who knows what problems they had. I wouldn't have even asked them to speak more quietly if I had known it would turn into such a major deal. Better to just leave or endure, imo. Another alternative would have been seeing if an usher or manager would help.
discussion comment
17 years ago
There were these 2 heart pounding dancers. Average intelligence. Very poorly educated. From a poverty background. Very happy individuals.
I watched some of the abuse these dancers took and they were just incredible. It is one thing to take abuse and it quite another to remain very kind and sweet and caring. It was funny that they had so little and yet would be the first to take the shirt off their back if you needed help. Desperate to be moms even without babies; I guess. One of them wanted me to father a child after I had known her about 6 months. She offered to go my doctor to prove she wasn't already pregnant. She just wanted to be a mom because her mom had died young and she missed the close relationship. She use to tell me how wonderful and loving and wise her mom was. The other dancer would also tell me what a wonderful family she had and how they made all the difference. She was desperate to get pregnant also, but she thought it was real crazy to do so without a father willing to help at least a little bit.
It sounded like the biggest regret that they had was their lack of education. The one dancer had broke down in tears and took off running when I gave her some good books. I didn't really know what to think about that except that women are generally insane. With eyes downcast and halted speech she later explained what the problem was. The way she was carrying on I thought it some life or death issue. Turned out she couldn't read at all and was embarrassed and was afraid I would look down on her. I offered to teach her to read, but she said she was too stupid or she would have already learned. I pointed out that reading difficulty didn't mean a person was dumb. Anyway, she promised to seek help from some leads that I was going to get her. The main thing is she didn't want me see how much difficulty she had learning. She wanted me to continue liking her. Both of those dancers were really top quality people, imo. I doubt either was successful because they just didn't have the right road map.
The one dancer told me her secret that she learned from her grandmother was that when someone is being mean imagine you are that person. It doesn't feel good to be that person and it is much better to be nice and try and help people instead of being mean. She also said you just don't know what problems a person has to make them like that. She hoped that if she continued being nice that the person might realize she isn't bad at all and maybe they could be come friends. Yes, these dancers were truly wacked out 100%, but they just impressed the hell out me anyway. I told one of them that no way would I have the strength not to explode and try and get even. She laughed and said it doesn't take any strength at all being nice and that it makes you feel good. Not only wacked out maybe they need to be incarcerated for their own well being? :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
"9. Repeat several times a day if I walked in *their* shoes (same body, mind, experiences, etc.) then I might be just like them.
I don't excuse bad behavior from men. I expect and demand better than that."
It's not just men. I don't know if you have women customers, but they are capable of bad behaviour too. Also, it is that old saying one man's poison is another man's pleasure. Anyway, my 2 cent opinion is to try and excuse everybody's bad behaviour men or women--try and be understanding. Dancer is acting like an asshole? Well, I try and remember she might have been dealing with shit all day and is just venting. Anyway, I just try and avoid confrontation and hope she solves her problem. Some women act like total witches because that is what they were taught. I excuse that also because I generally don't like imposing my idea of what is right on other people.
I remember this communist lady from years and years ago who believed the government had the right to dictate all manner of morality for the greater good. I said yes, like women have to be bare foot and pregnant . . . You start forcing or demanding your moral bs, then don't start crying when some Christians start using the government to ram their filth down your throat. Fair is fair. And, she is like my beliefs are good beliefs. I say I got big news for you: Many of those Christians who wish to use the government as their bully boy feel the same way. I guess whoever has more guns and is willing to use them is right. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
"'Dos' = what is actually happening in reality. In this case it is your believe that the dancers have no ethical obligations.
So, Jab, Obligations (1-11, 'personal biases') or not Obligations 'imo, its better that way (that the dancers, in reality, have no ethical obligations).' What exactly are you arguing here for?"
I just set out a list of my biases that I proposed as a list for a Dancer's Ethical Obligations. As much as I might like my biases to be considered law or ethical obligations the reality, imo, is that it is better for the dancer to dance to her own little drummer. :) Ideally that little drummer would be telling her to try and spread happiness and good deeds, but ever once in a while use the double barrel shotgun or a few F16s. :)
I generally don't like stealing, for example. But a dancer may feel well within her rights to steal from a customer left, right, and center if she knows the customer is a crook that preys on the weak or stupid. IOWs, don't feel bad about giving a slime ball a taste of his own medicine especially if it puts money in your pocket or those of others.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi MIDancer,
Yes, it is an ethical obligation in that a dancer (or customer) could be causing extreme pain! ;) It is also a matter of opinion. One dancer pointed that my breath was bad--garlic breath. Other dancers who I did buy dances from and those that didn't couldn't smell anything. The customer next to me said he couldn't smell anything, but that he had a poor sense of smell. I think the complaining dancer had a point. I do like garlic. :)
You meet this super hot dancer and her breath is just nasty and it is like damn that is depressing. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often, but it seems like the dancers I like have bad breath more often than the less attractive dancers.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi Fondl,
Excellent points! :)
You know they did the Chilean experiment where the free market nut jobs ala Friendman (the Chicago Boys) et al were allowed to run the show. At the time experts were predicting collapse because of course government experts knew more and were fairer blah blah blah.
When the exact opposite occurred and free markets again proved their worth it didn't seem to make a dimes worth of difference. And, I can sort of understand the thinking. Poverty isn't as bad when you don't have some assholes lording it over you.
Like the blubber butt that was complaining about the lack of a free market. Yes, there was a demand for her even at expensive clubs. Problem was she wasn't being allowed to participate in the free market. The best solution isn't to force the clubs to allow fatties to work, but to allow more freedom, which in America is a negative value, i.e. let anyone open a club *without* all the government filth i.e. corrupt law enforcement, discriminatory zoning, isolation of clubs from one another, etc. etc. etc. There ain't no free market and as such it isn't unreasonable to think steal the pie instead of earn the pie. :)
Put me in the communist or socialist category--100% over this system. American is currently wealthy enough to take care of basic needs without all the evils caused by the disparity of wealth. Assholes want to tax my property to the point of losing my home because they're rich assholes, then the solution is to elminate the rich! Screw the rich and their idiotic wars and their wimpering for this special law or that special law. I'd much rather the government invest in education, health, transportation, the environment, etc. etc. etc. The rich need to be legislatively eliminated! :)
If my goal of a communist America isn't reached that is ok, also. At my age it really doesn't make much difference. Capitalism--fine. Communism--fine. But, if I had a say between the current system or communism, then communism wins hands down! :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
In Milton Friedman's Free to Choose, I think he made an excellent arguments in favor of capitalism and also libertarianism.
One point that really bothered me especially since I believe Friedman to be an elite thinker was answer to the question why does fiat money have "value"? He stated it is because people think it has value. Whoa, big time! What a truly pathetic answer to an important question and I don't think it was by accident. :( I don't know if it was intellectual dishonesty against his readers or he didn't want to see that fiat money embraces both force and fraud. The very two evils that he rails against in his unbridled or almost unbridled support of the free markets.
Anyway, I loved his book so much that I bought more than one copy. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
Depends on the reader. :)
"Dos"?
I think writing is a little like wine tasting. :)
http://www.slate.com/id/2177629/pagenum/2/
discussion comment
17 years ago
I had lunch years ago with a lady from the Soviet Union. She told me her co-workers were making fun of her because she was a hardcore communist and yet she was living in America. She didn't see any contradiction at all. In her mind America had destroyed a paradise so why stay in the ruins? Of course, that didn't explain why she chose America to flee to. She explained she wanted to see first hand what her enemy was like. She was very impressed by the wealth, but didn't think the tradeoffs were worth it. She believed in a communist America. At the time I never thought in million years that I would agree with her, but after a few Bush presidencies. :)
One huge advantage of living in Miami is that I get to meet people from all over the world. I would have thought choosing to come to America they would be pro-America overwhelmingly. For different reasons that just isn't the case. Yes, a minority that I've met are just wildly in love with America and her people. There is a dancer at The Trap (not bad looking and is 100% in-love with America) from Argentina and she was telling me you can't appreciate America unless you travel to other countries. Well, yes I've heard the same thing from people who have travelled to other countries, but I've also heard the exact opposite from native born Americans. I asked one lady then why in the world are you here if you hate America? She says visiting children and grandchildren, but I wish they would move to a nicer country. A man from the Dominican Republic hates America, but is here for the money. Sorta like a young hooker that hates fucking old farts, but is willing to subject herself to it for the money.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Hi david120,
Well like you say it is one of the most annoying things that dancers can do, but sometimes (rarely) the dancer is on the level and her main motivation wasn't to separate you from your cash. As long as the dancer understands NO cash then I don't have a problem if she just wants to talk and some (very few) will waste a lot time even knowing you won't spend money on them.
Some customers would rightfully, imo, consider this dancer's response "bad manners." Just as I believe a customer's bad manners should generally be excused, I also believe a dancer's bad manners should generally be excused. It is the old walk in *their* shoes and then see if your perspective changes.
Supposedly the Japanese are one of the most polite people, but is that a positive? Yes and no. I'd rather have people be upfront even if that meant that they aren't pleasant. OTOH, politeness should lessen the chance for escalation of a conflict. Bottom line, imo, Miss Manners is a pestilence. :)
discussion comment
17 years ago
I'd like to be part of a country whose government actually leaves its people alone, even if that means sacrificing a few (or some) luxuries. :) And, even if it means some people enjoy "excessive" wealth or there is discrimination against people for "stupid" reasons e.g. racial, gender, disability, age, national origin, etc. Not worried at all about someone who has a lot more than me as long as they're will to leave me the hell alone--that is hardly ever the case. Usually there is the demand for more police or more laws or more spending. Not worried at all about discrimination as long as you're free to build a better mouse trap.
Having said all that I lean in favor of a communist (socialist) America. Perhaps then the country wouldn't start so many wars against foreign countries. At the very least socialism should make it a much poorer nation, which isn't necessarily bad. For example, some people have their panties in a bunch due to "illegal" immigration. Make the country poor enough then problem solved. :)