discussion comment
17 years ago
hehehe...that insecure loser would be me. If you are truly a female, then I apologize. Your questions and statements didn't come off like any dancer I have ever met. Sounded like you were fishing and playing.
I was being a wise ass...enjoy...
discussion comment
17 years ago
BookGuy...nice response. Thanks! I will attempt to answer your questions from my viewpoint. First question I have for you is how old are you?
Walking out the door on a relationship is not something that is done to teach a lesson. It is done because you are not getting what you want out of the relationship. If she does not follow, then why do you care? She never would have given what you wanted anyway. If she follows, then perhaps there are things that will be worked on.
Loneliness is a state of mind. It comes from wanting what you do not have. You are an intelligent guy and I am sure there are things in your life that make you fulfilled. For myself it is my work. I enjoy what I do. It defines me more than any woman could. I also have a fantastic son. Find those things in your life. That is who you are. This is where you gain your self-worth. No woman will ever give you self-worth. Any decent woman will expect you to have it before she gets involved.
I think that one thing that has helped is that I love women. I always have a positive attitude around them. I love everything about them. Even the little things that drive me up the wall. I take that as a part of the whole package. That whole package is incredible.
I also prefer reality over emotion. I also try to see inside of a person. I see this as a strength and not a weakness. I think the lawyer lady may be confusing reality with cynicism. Things are what they are. Learn to accept that and you will end a lot of personal grief. If you can see what buttons to push then why don't you push them? Nothing wrong with that especially if your intentions are good. You are a good guy, right? Make her see that.
How do you compliment a woman? If you "see" the buttons that need to be pushed...how do you push them? Do you look her in the eyes and tell her exactly what you are thinking? Do you build sexual tension?
BG...I asked how old you are for a reason. I am 42 and it took me 35 years, one broken marriage, and several unfulfilling relationships before I realized that it was not them. It was me all along.
I don't have all the answers and can only pass on what I have learned as it pertains to me. If women like you as a friend, then they can like you as a lover. If she does not see you as a lover then you are going about it wrong.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Oh man...dude...make sure you shave well before going into the club if you hope to pull this off...
discussion comment
17 years ago
It runs the gamut as far as I am concerned. I usually go in with the attitude that she is there to make money first and foremost. Does she really enjoy it? I can't always be sure. Some veteran dancers are very adept at "enjoying" it for the benefit of their customer.
On the other hand, I also know some dancers that do enjoy it in the right company. As far as rudeness, I really have had to deal with it only one time.
When I work I expect to get to paid. I would expect dancers (and anyone) would feel the same way. Although, some people go overboard with their self-importance in this area and it starts becoming an entitlement issue. I see this in non-dancers as well as dancers.
discussion comment
17 years ago
Nice guys finish last? Depends on the definition of a nice guy...I guess. Seems elusive as we all have good traits and bad traits. I am nice and courteous to people unless they give me reason to act in another way.
I am nice to others for me and my own integrity. Not for their benefit. Once I grew up and accepted this things changed a great deal for me. I use to get trampled by women...I was one of those guys. Doesn't happen anymore. I am still a gentleman and an attentive boyfriend, but I also don't allow anyone to take advantage of me.
This can have a powerful effect on a woman. Just when she thinks she has me where she wants me and starts to take me for granted...well...now I walk out the door. Once you walk out the door on her and truly are a great guy...she will come following. Kind of funny how that works out.
I guess I have taken many negative experiences and learned and improved myself as opposed to getting bitter. I don't see the benefit in bitterness. I don't think nice guys finish last as a rule. I do think that guys that obsess over being "nice guy" do indeed get nowhere. But that is something different.
discussion comment
17 years ago
I like a slow and gentle start. Then pick it up as things move along. Good dancers seem to have the ability to recognize when things need to move onto the fast/hard pace. Just like a good lover recognizes when to go slow and when to go fast.
You have to warm up well before an intense workout. Wouldn't want to pull any important muscles....
discussion comment
17 years ago
Too many to count....how about...
"Now that I am divorced I am so alone and horny."
...or...
"I bet women hit on you all the time."
...or...
"I wish I could pull it out and fuck you right here, but it will have to wait. Can I call you sometime?"
It goes on and on....and on and on...