Comments by MIDancer (page 5)

I agree with evilcyn: EVERY shift I have EVER worked, SOMEONE has always asked, "your boyfriend LETS you do this?" For one, my boyfriend doesn't allow nor disallow me to do anything. I'm grown. I make my own decisions. If he had a problem with it, he probably shouldn't have started dating me. And if he "develops" a problem with it, then he can decide whether or not he wishes to remain in the relationship, because what I do for a living is not up for debate.

My results are as follows: 1. Kucinich 2. Dodd 3. Gravel 4. Clinton 5. Obama I've been planning to vote for Kucinich in the primaries for quite some time now. However, I'm nearly certain that Hillary will win the nomination, and I intend to vote for her in the presidential election.

Honestly, Shadowcat, if it were wishful thinking, the girls that DO put on a good stage performance wouldn't bother. Believe me, if no one's tipping, my feet will stay planted on the floor and my top will remain on.

Small cash? I'm not looking to make thousands a night. Sure, that would be preferable, but my dances are (and by my own admittance) very tame. If my nightly goals usually fall between $600-$800, making a couple hundred bucks on stage throughout the night is nothing to scoff at; that means I'm making between 1/4-1/3 of my nightly income from stage tips alone. Whether or not every customer in the building is impressed matters very little to me; it's more fun than strolling back and forth across the stage, and its' far more profitable. I'd rather use that six minutes on stage to my financial advantage, not waste it because I'm narcissistic enough to waste what is most certainly an oppurtunity to promote myself to my audience. I only work two nights per week, and while I have my regulars, they often grow weary of the fact that I'm not there as much as they'd like me to be. Generally, I lose their business after a couple months. So, I'm always on the prowl for new business, and my stage performance has proved time and time again to reel guys in.

I disagree, Book Guy; an outstanding stage performance CAN and DOES make a dancer money in certain clubs. I've lost count the number of times I've left the stage with over $100, and I can think of at least a handful of times that I left the stage with $300-$400. Of course this isn't common place in your common neighborhood strip joints, but in a high-volume, performance-oriented "gentlemen's club," pirouettes and pole tricks are skills worth learning.

Chandler: I should have been more specific... a dance or two isn't an irritation, but don't lead me to believe that "you're going to take care of me" if I sit there for a "few" more minutes. If sitting with a customer, I'll ask for a dance after two to three songs have passed. If your interested in a dance, then certainly ask for one, but unless you have a strong inclination that you're going to buy a long string of dances or opt for a CR, don't lead me to believe that sitting with you for an extended period is going to pay off in the end. If several songs have passed, and you've determined that your not interested in a dance, simply say so. A simple "why don't you come back around in a bit" or "I don't want to take up any more of your time" would work nicely. David9999: Dancers generally smell like ashtrays, because (a) they have yet to discover the wonderful invention of breath mints (if they smoke) or (b) they don't take the time to "freshen up" once in awhile while working in a smokey atmosphere.

1. Wasting your dancer's time (i.e. having her sit and chat for 30 minutes at your table, only to buy one or two dances in the end). 2. Grabbing/groping without explicit permission (unless your under the extreme circumstance where this is common practice among nearly all the dancers). 3. Trying to cop a feel at the TIP RAIL (innappropriate, especially if your only tipping a dollar or two). 4. Statements like, "well, so-and-so let me [insert illegal/sexual activity." 5. "You're too smart/pretty/whatever to be doing this." 6. White Knights (I need money, not your pity). 7. "You'd look better if..." 8. Excessive demands/requests during lap dances. 9. Making the presumption that your dancer is ALWAYS lying (don't ask me a question, and then roll your eyes when I give you a completely legitimate answer). 10. Speaking of Alpha males... Bragging about your penis size, sexual stamina and the square-footage of your house is annoying and utterly uninteresting. 11. Excessive drunkeness. 12. Cigars. 13. Bad hygeine (I don't want to smell like YOUR B.O. for the remainder of the evening). 14. Ordering drinks that your dancer hasn't asked for or agreed to, and then acting as though she's obligated to drink it. Those are a few of mine...

I generally don't pry into the lives of my co-workers, so it would be difficult for me to properly assess how many of them are into "bad boys." That said, the girls who aren't dating "bad boys" generally aren't the ones crying in the dressing room because their boyfriend cheated on them or spending two hours in front of the mirror, trying to cover up the bruises from last night's spat. And while I have certainly witnessed plenty of that, I have not witnessed it to the extent that I would conclude that the women who like "bad boys" are in the majority. Personally, I don't have a thing for bad boys; in fact, their arrogance and general demeanor are a MAJOR turn-off for me. I avoid them in the club, and I avoid them moreso in my personal life. Life's rough enough; I don't need to come home to someone who doesn't respect me to top it all off at the end of the day.

A representative? Probably not. Posting on SW would require first that the dancer be intelligent enough to operate a computer and utilize the resources available to her on the web. ;) As of late, there have been several discussions regarding contact. In particular, discussions have arose regarding the certain degree of seperation between mind and body that is required of some/many/most dancers to maximize one's income. On a seperate note, I find it amusing that we have two seperate boards (SW and TUSCL), both participating in the same behavior: poking fun, and laughing at the "stupidity" of the opposite side (within the dancer/patron relationship). Could it be, perhaps, that we're all dysfunctional idiots? Or could it be that both sides refuse to recognize their own role in the game? It all comes down to a question that I'm sure has arose in each of our heads: who's playing who, here?

I post occassionally on SW, and I disagree that the dancers who post there are entirely opposed to contact. I'm not sure how recent a thread, but there was a poll (under Stripping/Stripping General) that inquired as to which type of working environment was preferred; I was surprised to find that, the girls preferred minimal/limited two-way contact and no contact above all the other options (the poll also included one-way contact and full contact; neither of which were popular).

RL, I'm not at work to make friends with the customers. I'm there for money. It's a business.

DougS: But what if the wife/girlfriend didn't want him to strip? Should he then quit in order to respect her feelings and wishes, even if that meant putting the family financial security at risk? (By the way, I don't intend to be confrontational, I was simply raised to reject conventional gender role assignments, and therefore have trouble with the idea of a woman expecting, or even wanting, to be "taken care of.").

DougS: Okay, let's say the situation were reversed, and the dancer in question was the husband/boyfriend. Should the woman be "working extra jobs, flipping burgers, mopping floors" etc., in order for to keep HIM from feeling the need to dance?

Perhaps, in you ATF's situation, it isn't a matter of her husband permitting the situation to occur. There are plenty of people who are underpaid in this country or stuck in low-end, low paying jobs due to a lack of education (or a lack of education in a field that yields a high demand for workers). I don't think the blame should be placed solely on your ATF's husband; he simply may stuck in a situation of limited mobility (i.e. unable to get a better paying job, more hours, more education, etc.). As for your other point... Yes, in an ideal situation, your SO would choose to quit in order to respect your feelings. However, quitting isn't always a feasible option. In my situation, for example, both my boyfriend and I completed our undergrad work within the arena of liberal arts. Until he or I (or both of us) complete our grad work, I have two options: strip or find some low-paying job and live paycheck to paycheck. I recognize, mostly because there are no children involved, that I DO have a choice and I COULD choose not to dance. However, as much as I would like to call it quits, I'd much prefer NOT to live with the overwhelming stress that accompanies just barely making end's meet. My boyfriend understands this, and out of respect for my sanity, never brings up the issue of my retirement. But then again, I just don't think my job irks him as much as it might some other guys. I think it comes down to us having a great deal of trust and communication in our relationship, and the recognition on both our parts that my job is simply that: a job.

(Whose authority ended when I turned 18).

I find the suggestion that my significant has the authority to "allow" or "disallow" me to do anything rather offensive. Perhaps this is indeed a generational difference, as DougS suggests. When we (my boyfriend and I) met, he was made quite aware of my job; had he a problem with it, he could've chose not to pursue me. Clearly, seeing as we're together, and I continue to dance, he has no major qualms with my work. Now, if a situation were to arise, and he expected me to quit, he'd be more than welcome to show himself the door after I kindly explained to him that I already have a father.

I should better clarify my previous post. If "maybe later" is followed by some sort of encouraging addendum like, "I just got here, give me a few minutes to settle in," I will make a single return visit (if I get another "maybe later," I'll write that person off as a waste of time). Now, if the initial "maybe later" is said while the prospect's head is turned in the opposite direction, or his TONE suggests disinterest, I won't be back. Granted, I'm somewhat of a fly-by "wanna dance"-type of dancer, unless I find a customer who genuinely interests me and who's conversation I think I might enjoy. So in many cases, I understand that the "maybe later" blow-off is the result of my approach. Anyway, I think I'm getting a bit off-topic... I'd rather the customer just lay it out on the line for me: "I prefer blondes," "I don't like fake breasts," "I'm actually waiting for so-and-so," etc. At the same time, I'm not aggressive by any stretch of the imagination (most of my money comes from regulars, customers who approach ME, or compensation I receive for my time and conversation), so I wouldn't be the type of stripper to argue over the matter. You don't want a dance from me? Okay, enjoy your evening.

As a dancer, I'd rather hear "no thanks" or "you're not my type," than "maybe later." I generally assume "maybe later" means "no" and I generally do not return to that particular customer. However, there have also been times when I've been approached at the very end of the night from a "maybe later" customer who wants to know why I never came back. So, I suppose that "maybe later" might work to rid the customer of some girls, but I'd rather a customer just lay it out for me: if you truly want a dance later, don't say "maybe." Say something along the lines of, "I would absolutely like a dance, just not at the moment. Come back and see me later."