Double standards.

avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
I have two grand daughters. I would kill any one that molested them. Yet I visit strip clubs and search out young dancers. They are daughters too. My daughter says that if they are over 18,they can make their own choices. I think that she is wise.

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avatar for chasman
chasman
15 years ago
Whenever my more prudish friends & relatives get on my back about going to strip clubs, they always ask me if I'd want my daughter working in a strip club (I have no kids so this is hypothetical). My standard response is usually something allong the lines of "less than I'd want her working elbow deep in someone else's toilet but more than I'd want her working on a Kandahar roadside clearing IEDs." If the asker is a banker or a lawyer, I ususally work foreclosing on family farms or chasing ambualnces in there somewhere.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
15 years ago
Dougster, the point was that we protect our loved ones but don't care if it's some one else s loved one. I am as guilty as the next.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
gk,

My daughter was once driving with her mother and grandmother in the car. She pulled into a local SC during the afternoon. Her grandmother asks, "What are you doing here?" Daughter says, "Picking up my paycheck." I would have loved to see my mother-in-law's face.

ps - She didn't work there.
avatar for jablake
jablake
15 years ago

"'I mean they don't grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you f*&$#@ up' - Chris Rock"

Not the type thinking I'd succumb to.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
What a weird question. How is buying dances, or even fs, say, equivalent to "molestation"? They only connection I can see is that most strippers were sexually abused as children. Keep that one in mind the next time you buy dances/fs from them.
avatar for gk
gk
15 years ago
Clubber, agree. Normal needs context and it's not the same for everybody. In my libertarian point of view, normal has some leeway for flexibility, but it has boundaries that are defined by certain absolutes--you don't kill, you don't hurt, you do-unto-others-as-you would-have-them-do-to-you, etc.

Back to the central question--if my daughter needed to enter this industry, yes, I would want to see if I could help her find her other options. But I would not judge her negatively or turn her out of my life for it. And one reason (but not the only reason) I shy away from younger dancers is that they are sometimes the same age as my daughter. That's more of a respect thing than an aversion. And I can still enjoy the hobby.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
15 years ago
"I mean they don't grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you f*&$#@ up" - Chris Rock
avatar for FinalLap
FinalLap
15 years ago
Interesting questions. I'm glad my daughter has a professional career and is doing well. However, rather than starve or have an uncomfortable life, I guess I'd respect her choice to be a dancer if she made it on her own. On occasion, I've offered advice to young dancers that they have a great part-time, short-term job. But by age 30, they'd better have a 'real career'--because their dancing days will likely be over.
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
15 years ago
You do not want your daughters to be dancers. Do you think your daughters want their dads to be SC patrons?
avatar for how
how
15 years ago
I doubt any TUSCLers consider this hobby to involve "molesting" others, but if one did see it that way, he should abandon the hobby at once.
avatar for BaddJack
BaddJack
15 years ago
I have two daughters, both of them are inside the age range you might consider being a "dancer's prime."

I have seen FRIENDS of theirs at clubs. It doesn't bother me.
I have seen daughters of MY friends at clubs. It doesn't bother me.

I am certain that it WOULD bother me if it was my daughter, but not from some puritanical sense. It would bother me that they chose such a dead-end means of making a few bucks that will not lead to fulfillment or career enhancement.

Life is about choices.

As to the original thought: if she is CHARGING me BIG American Dolllars to let me paw her, then I am the one being molested. Guys, think about it: WE are the ones that get exploited, and we enjoy it.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
gk,

You blew your entire dissertation with your last sentence. What is "normal"? Are you just applying your "normal", shadow's "normal", my "normal", some pedophiles "normal"...

I'm sure you understand.

I understand shadow's double standard completely!
avatar for gk
gk
15 years ago
It's not a double standard. It's a personal standard. Women have a right to survive and sometimes this is the option they choose. The holier than thou types who would deny someone a choice in this matter are hypocrits. I have a daughter. I often hear the argument..."would you like it if your dauagher was (whatever)"? Well, given a choice to survive, I would hope all options are open to her also. That's my answer and I'm sticking to it.

I do admit to a preference against partying with teenage dancers. For me it is an intellectually empty experience that is supposed to be a sexual fantasy on one end and a get-to-understand-you experience on the other, because these girls are so relatively--inexperienced they have little of the whole package to deliver.

For the real young clubbers, this isn't the same. But in general, if an upper age clubber really needs a teen in the mix, maybe there are some issues going on that need to be addressed.

We should all draw our own line in the sand where it's most comfortable. But don't let anyone use that line to denegrate the industry that so many women choose to participate in.

SC, don't let yourself feel guilty or anyone make you feel guilty about something normal that you enjoy.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
shadow,

Those in the clubs are NOT your grand daughters. That makes all the difference in the world. Just like there is no man in the world good enough to marry my daughter, but plenty to marry anyone else!
avatar for curiousgeorgefun
curiousgeorgefun
15 years ago
I recently got a dance from a stripper who was younger than my daughter. I did feel a little guilty.... not guilty enough to get a few lap dances from her though....

Double standard: yes, does it matter: not really.... I can live with it
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