Dancers with kids

13 comments

• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  It is well known that nearly all strippers come from weak families. Problems with their fathers are nearly ubiquitous. Sexual and/or other abuse is also extremely common.
• deogol

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  16 years ago

  I actually know dancers and what I have observed is that their mothers are batty as hell - not that daddy put his finger in their butt. It isn't daddy putting it into their heads men should pay for relationships with them. People all around the nation are putting themselves into deep debt and bankruptcy to buy shit for their kids when they should spend more time with them. This is not a stripper only thing.
• Dudester

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  16 years ago

  deogol is right. My family disintegrated when I was six. Soon, my mother found a boyfriend (a child molester who battered us all-that's another story). The singlemost important symbol from my "childhood" was my mother's closed bedroom door. It meant she had no time for us. When I became an adult, she finally dumped the loser and married into money. Then she tried to buy my affection. I wasn't interested then, and I'm not now. Needless to say, our relationship is strained. Had she instead used the money, as I suggested, for joint counseling/therapy, so we could get past that she sold my ass to keep a jerk in her life, we might be getting along today, but it's been twenty years since then and that ship has pretty much sailed.
• SuperDude

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  16 years ago

  She made a deal to have a child. Used the wrong guy. Now it's more work than she ever thought about. Not a doll, but a real person with real needs that have to be cared for. Not much sympathy in the world for single mothers, because the mood is shifting--from victim to a woman who chose to have a child. Dancers still want to play the victim, but guys know that a lot of women chose to get pregnant withouth thinking about the consequences of the choice, especially when they ought to know tha guys will walk away from the "baby trap."
• DandyDan

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  16 years ago

  I can sort of agree with deogol, because most strippers probably did not have their dad around as kids. The flip side of not having dad around is that mom was probably a slut, and who knows, but mom may have been a slut before dad left. However, on a case by case basis, sometimes, dad is sticking his finger up her butt. One of my favorites says incest was common in her family. She made it sound like it was some sort of initiation or something.
• gk

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  16 years ago

  I agree to a certain extent, in fact everybody with a comment is also right. But from what I've seen it boils down to the simple fact that strippers are in reality just like other people in this respect, they WANT to lead a NORMAL life, for themselves or for their kids. So of course most of them will be focused on their kids, are you if you hav e themn? But for one reason or another, many of them, not all, CAN'T lead a NORMAL life, so they have to work harder at doing the normal things and that's what most of us have observed. The can't part results from lack of diverse job skills, relationships with loser men and even a bad start in life resulting from a lack of a solid family relationhship, etc. One or a combination of these things makes life a strugggle for them in ways some of us never have to deal with. So in many cases, the focus on the kids is not only their main focus, it is their only focus.
• evilcyn

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  16 years ago

  I am there to focus on providing for my kids yes.. I agree I seem to hear alot of other dancers who "talk" the game of spoiling their kids, but they don't seem to have any stability in their lives for the kids... When I see girls all sorts of fucked up, going out at the end of the night for more, always hungover and or sick from the night before, I don't see how any amount of money they spend on their kids can fix that..
• jac10781

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  16 years ago

  I agree with Deogol. You have to open your eyes a little. This isn't a subject that can be related to just dancers because this applies to a very wide range of people. Absentee fathers, parents who work long hours, parents making up for lost time, parents who feel giving money is more important then quality time. There aren't a lot of stable homes in the U.S with our divorce rate as great as it is. You would think that there are a few of us aside from the dancers that don't have a stable household. This is an interesting subject, but I think it is a waste of time to just apply it to one demographic when it clearly has an effect on people from all cultures and social classes. The best argument you can make is that a slightly higher percentage of dancers are like this and that can be related to hours worked among other things that have nothing to do with them getting naked. This subject as it is doesn't make for interesting conversation.
• casualguy

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  16 years ago

  Here's a news flash, I've met a few dancers without any kids. One had a kid expecting the father to eventually marry her but he left her instead. He didn't even help support the kid so she was left working as a stripper as her only income. She temporarily became a waitress while she was pregnant so her income took an even bigger hit. Then I'm sure her expenses went up big time to take care of her kid without any insurance. She never thought she would end up in that situation.
• Tucker40

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  16 years ago

  I meet more with kids than without. Dancer under 21, 50-50 that there's a kid at home, with mom, etc. Dancer over 21, probably 80-20 that there are kids involved. Kids the mom's barely see (especially these days) so part of the lavish spending is to make up for never seeing junior. And sometimes, it's a sob story.
• emmy7

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  16 years ago

  I see the majority of dancers have kids. Most people don't bring up such horrific pasts such as abuse, etc., so no, I've never been sure about the upbringing. I do know that everyone (except the dancers, of course) love to think dancers are broken, torn up, and generally used up individuals. I've known quite a few who appreciate the business PURELY for what it is. For myself, I am blessed with an solid family (they don't know I dance), have a degree and work outside the business, wasn't sexually abused (as far as my memory allows!), have no children (though nothing wrong with kids), and never have used drugs or extended past the bounds of dancing (no prostitution). I think dancers TEND to be more materialistic. Parents tend to teach their values to their kids, so it's no surprise that dancers TEND to show affection with things.
• gk

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  16 years ago

  Good point jac10781--this topic of how you focus on your kids, or how you don't, can apply anywhere. And EvilCyn's point is on the money too.
• SuperDude

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  16 years ago

  What about dancers with grandchildren. I know a couple.