tuscl

When does a guy become a slut?

Sunday, July 13, 2008 4:02 PM
This second informal poll relates somewhat to the spending question I posted previously. In our sexist world, we normally use the word "slut" to refer to women, which of course is unfair, given that guys probably sleep around just as much or more than women on average. When, I wonder, do we ever think of ourselves as crossing that line into slutdom? So I've tried to frame the question in a way that would not require any of us to reveal embarrassing personal information. Here's the question: How many different girls would you have to sleep with in one 12 month period before you would become too embarrassed to reveal that number to people on this board? So no one has to give a precise number, I figured a range of options would be proper: *Anything more than 1 *2 to 5 *5 to 10 *10 to 20 *more than 20 *never Get it? In other words your self-defined slut threshold would be low if you would be too embarrassed to admit to sleeping with more than 1 woman in a given year. It would be relatively high, on the other hand, if you would not be red faced even for admitting to having sex with more than 20 in the last 12 months. I'm defining "sex" here a little more narrowly -- it's gotta be at least a blowjob if not actual vaginal penetration. If we included the number of different girls who rubbed your dick in the last year, I know many of you would lose count. Also, bear in mind it's the number of different sex partners that makes you a slut, not the number of times you have sex. If you have 1 mistress and fuck her every week, then you are only sleeping with two women in the course of the year (the mistress and your wife, assuming you still have sex with your wife, lol). For myself I would say my slut threshold is pretty high, but it does exist. I would be somewhat chagrined to admit to having sex with more than 20 different women in a given year, but I feel anything less than 20 makes me feel almost virtuous. So when would you start feeling slutty?

39 comments

  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    3 = no qualms 4 = starting to get uneasy 5 = definite man-whore
  • chandler
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    16 years ago
    Being a male slut is a badge of honor most guys only wish they could attain. Casual sex with a great number of women, what's not to like? Anybody can be "easy". The obstacle is finding chicks to go along with it. Paying for it doesn't count. That crosses the line from success (slutdom) to surrender (PLdom).
  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    Oh, no. Maybe with the guys the sky is the limit. But not definitely not with wiser women, and extremely wise men. They'll know that something is wrong with you if you go too overboard.
  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    Yeah, I think we are talking exclusively unpaid here. If it's even one paid for I bet nearly everyone (outside these boards, and many on it) is going to think "slut" if generous, or "loser" if less kind.
  • Book Guy
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    16 years ago
    I don't think it's about HOW MANY, but about HOW LOW THE QUALITY. A dude who fucks three butt-ugly desperate over-age moustached fat slags is a dude who is a male-slut, because he does sex without self-respect. However, a dude who has fucked three hundred different Playboy bunnies is not a male-slut, he's a hero.
  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    Unfortunately looks != quality. Many beautiful women are really, really fucked up. 300 is way too high in any case, I don't care who they are/who the guy fucking them is. Also I disagree that fucking a woman, any woman unpaid = success. There has to be a quality bar, otherwise it could just mean you found a slut or she was drunk or both or your own standards are otherwise very low.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    16 years ago
    Ask Gene Simmons how many is too many?
  • chandler
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    16 years ago
    I can't argue with that, Bobby. However, I only meant success as opposed to paying the same woman. But honestly, if the 20-300 women I'm banging are hot, I'm not gonna care a whole lot whether that makes me a slut or a hero.
  • chitownlawyer
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    16 years ago
    This is a trick question. A man cannot be a slut. The word "slut" is used to describe a woman who is wanting in chastity--that is, fidelity in marriage, celibacy (continence) in singlness. And this is the natural way of the world. A man whose partner is pregnant needs to know that the child in question is his, lest he commit the evolutionary tragedy of using his resources to support another man's offspring. Therefore, female faithfulness is not merely a cultural construct...it is the way of the Created World. On the other hand, a man's biological destiny is to create as many little Himselves as possible. Therefore, frequent and varied sexual activity (preferably procreative, although it is certainly appropriate to view non-procreative sexual activity, oral, anal, etc., as salutory "practice" for the real thing) is not only permissible, it is part of the Divine plan. (I have to rest here at the thought of the enormity of it all). Male sexual activity is to be encouraged on a linear "more is better" basis. Therefore, there is no "excessive" male sexuality, so there is no such thing as a male slut. Or, to put it in syllogistic form: Major premise: A "slut" is a person who engages in sexual activity to excess. Minor premise: No male person can engage in sexual activity to excess. Conclusion: Therefore, no male person can be a slut. At the common law, there was an offense of "common scold", which referred to a meddlesome, quarrelsome, unruly woman. A man could not be prosecuted as a "common scold"; by definition, the offense only applied to women (the only common law offense restricted to a particular gender). Being a slut is like that.
  • wondergrl5
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    16 years ago
    ok not slut man-ho better?? ;) jeeze your all sluts on my book LOL
  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    I do not qualify as a slut in any category. I am just a dirty old man. A success story: Ken Wood started out as a dick dancer (male stripper)He now owns 6 strip clubs. Including my favorite club.
  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    But men definitely can engage in excess sexual activity. It's not just a matter of producing the most children, because grandchildren and beyond count too. And I say the amount of parenting is going to have a big influence on the quality of his children, and hence their reproductive chances. And then there really are STDs. And then there is how excessive promiscuity interact with social standing. And then there is the matter of meme propagation over gene propagation which I am still waiting for the evolutionary psychologists to start studying. And then there are "addiction" issues. (Related to fathering quality, basically is there better way he could be spending his time rather than knocking up yet another female?) So all these factors come into equilibrium, such that there really is a such a thing as excess male sexual activity.
  • arbeeguy
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    16 years ago
    I have a question for NJSCFAN. WAS it a trick question? Chitown says it was, and provided evidence. None of the other respondents seemed to think it was? If it was NOT a trick question, what conclusions do you draw from the answers, NJSCFAN?
  • njscfan
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    16 years ago
    chandler: I don't agree paying for sex makes you a PL. There are plenty of reasons (e.g., marriage) why a non-loser would pay for sex. Unless you believe (as chitown lawyer argues) that men are never sluts, by definition, then I don't think it matters whether you pay or not, the number of women may define you in the eyes of some as a slut. I think some folks are being a little less than honest with themselves on that score. I think most guys who have lots of sex with lots of different women (paid or unpaid) don't advertise that fact widely, because they are worried about what others will think. Notice that no one here -- even on tuscl -- volunteered the number of different women they boinked in the last year -- not even chandler who claims a high body count would make him a hero.
  • chitownlawyer
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    16 years ago
    Umm...there might have been a certain element of satire in my last post.
  • minnow
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    16 years ago
    Read Wilt"The Stilt" autobiography- he claimed a bunch!
  • chandler
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    16 years ago
    Well, I've been having a little fun with the topic, so I don't mean to give offense. I've always taken the term PL to be just a self-deprecating label for anyone who goes to a strip club or, by extension, pays to play. It think it is akin to surrender, because it means giving up any cause for vanity or heroism in your conquests, but I don't think it's anything to get indignant about. I bet as many guys here are timid about reporting their stats because they are embarrassingly low. No matter what your body count may be, isn't it the kind of thing you keep to yourself because on an anonymous board it's bound to come off sounding like a hollow boast? BTW, mine's 3.
  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    chi: Good! Thank god! I was beginning if the world had gone insane but all is well. (I should have known better.)
  • njscfan
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    16 years ago
    arbeeguy: definitely not a trick question, but possibly a Rorschach test. All kidding aside, no one volunteered the number of women they had sex with in the past year, and no one wanted to be identified as a slut. In polite company (i.e., the presence of women), I can understand that (the women don't like it), but among tusclers it's interesting to me. I would think this is a site where sleeping around would be tolerated, if not a source of pride, but by and large it is not. It is largely looked down upon. Oddly, I think Shadowcat hit the nail on the head, although unintentionally, to be sure. On tuscl it's fine to be a dirty old man, that is, a pervert who likes to watch naked ladies and have them rub against you. But it crosses the line to want to fuck those very same ladies. In a nation where porn is king and sex lives are arid (as bob dylan put it, "limited in sex they dare/ to push fake morals, insult and stare"), I guess it is not surprising that it is viewed as more honorable to be a pervert than a slut.
  • BobbyI
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    16 years ago
    I don't know, njsc. I'm with you that it seems weird to me that wanting paid lap dances but not wanting paid sex from tons of girls is considered ok. Frankly I find the guys who want to stop before sex and just get lap dances either dishonest, or weird. Not something I can comprehend at all. But, my own MO is probably just as incomprehensible to them, so I certainly say "live and let live" on this one.
  • lopaw
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    16 years ago
    I wear my slut badge with pride. Just let them try to pry it from my cold dead..........hands.
  • Dudester
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    16 years ago
    When I was 21, for a six month period, I found myself in a very unique situation. The peak came when I had sex with five women in one day ( at different times). Four of the five knew of the others, and three were sisters. Believe it or not, the next morning I was not proud of myself and I started discarding the others, narrowed it to one who broke my heart.
  • lopaw
    •
    16 years ago
    LOL chitown. I had to do a double-take when I read your first post....I thought it was from that assclown (old what's-it's-name), and I wondered why my "ignore" feature wasn't working anymore. Good one.
  • mmdv26
    •
    16 years ago
    Last month when I made the mortgage payment, my wife and I had sex 6 times. When I paid her car insurance, we had sex 6 times (different month). I feel like I'm paying for sex, because if I didn't make these payments I might not get sex from wife. So, I'm not too familiar with this "free" sex thing you all speak of.... resent being called a PL for paying for it. Might be PL if paid too much for it. Would rather think of that as just being a novice sex purchasing agent. Did get free sex in a club one time. Dancer I had known a few years before was gone for a while and came back. She recognized me, asked how I had been, wanna dance. OK. Half way thru 1st song, we are one. Get done during 2nd song. She says no charge for the dances, no tip; just wanted to say hi. Never saw her again. No drink, no tip, didn't even have to pay cover charge that day. No aftershocks either. So that was free. Even in college had to buy dinner, drinks, weed or something.
  • shadowcat
    •
    16 years ago
    Njsfan: Don't misunderstand me. I still want to fuck some of them. I know that at my age the only way I am going to fuck a hot chick is to pay for it. But I want to be selective. Dirty old whores Do not do it. Nor do 60 yo grandmothers for free. I will continue my life style of just having fun at my favorite club. If & when I ever find a stripper that I like and she likes me enough to share her body with me. I am hooked But still I Watch out for the pit falls.
  • casualguy
    •
    16 years ago
    I just saw the thread here. I would suspect that if you were a guy sleeping with a different girl every week that you wouldn't bother coming here and posting (too busy). I know of someone who was sleeping with a different girl every week at one time. That is a long long way from my behavior. If I hook up with someone, I tend to stay with them for a while. He moved to California and shacked up with 2 female roomates to cut down on the rent. I suspect he thought I should be hooking up with a different girl every week or month too. I never told him I routinely visited strip clubs or he would have really been on my case I believe. He even offered to hook me up with some girls including a dancer or two but I declined. I don't care for blind dates too much. Now if you were to call someone a male slut or playa or whatever, he would have been the guy. One of my college roomates had between 8 to 20 girlfriends. He had me lying on the phone (was all landlines back then) to several of them. Just little things like he wasn't there right now or other little things. hmmm, I actually thought it was funny when I heard him say he didn't want to pay long distance but was going to call up this one girl. He talked for a minute and then I heard "The fire alarm just went off!" Someone made a firealarm sound. Then he asked if she could call him back in about 5 minutes. She did. We were all just sitting there. He claimed he only had 8 girlfriends. One of his friends say he had 20. Apparently he never broke up with them. Maybe the term we should be using is player. How many girls does a guy have to sleep with to be a player or visa versa for girls? Or does the number even matter? Maybe a player is just taking advantage of someone.
  • wondergrl5
    •
    16 years ago
    LOPAW - ASSCLOWN?!?! I love that its my new term of the month!
  • jablake
    •
    16 years ago
    "In polite company (i.e., the presence of women), I can understand that (the women don't like it), but among tusclers it's interesting to me. I would think this is a site where sleeping around would be tolerated, if not a source of pride, but by and large it is not. It is largely looked down upon." Of course, it is a source of pride! :) I just don't want to be called James Bond again when it isn't being done as a source of reverence---assuming that I could brag about broads banged. ;)
  • wondergrl5
    •
    16 years ago
    Im not offended. But Ive come to think the views some of you have are outdated, but then Im from a diffrent generation from most posters so its hard to understand where they are coming from. My generation doesnt see a guy or girl sayin there a slut such a big deal. But Im from a direspectful media influnced generation. LOL [view link]
  • Clubber
    •
    16 years ago
    Well, since a slut is generally of the female gender, I would say never. Although, in more recent times, it could reference a man.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    16 years ago
    I remember a favorite dancer was once displaying her wares in all their gynecological detail and glory when a guy sitting by the stage remarked on her landing strip, asking why she didn't just shave it all off. Without missing a beat with her legs still spread wide she looked him in the eye and said, absolutely deadpan "Only a slut shaves it all off." The guy tried several times to think of what to say, lips moving, but no witty remark was forthcoming. I tipper her an extra $5 just for that.
  • lopaw
    •
    16 years ago
    wondergrl, Isn't that a great term? I have found myself using it much more lately, which is a sad commentary on my view of some of society's low-end DNA pool denizens. I also refer to them as "the island of misfit toys" people. *sigh* When I start throwing out "fucktard", then things are REALLY skating downhill fast. :p
  • casualguy
    •
    16 years ago
    I am wondering as a guy if it's normal to remember all the times you passed up or messed up an opportunity to have sex with a decent looking member of the opposite sex. I seem to remember a few occasions if I could do over, I would just say, what the heck, let's go have some fun. I don't know. I was remembering one girl where I used to work at asked me if we could do at least a one night stand but all night in a hotel room. She asked me in front of a number of regular workers so if I had said yes right there, I would have never heard the end of that. I probably would have been labeled after that. I think almost everyone in that county had a high sex drive. One of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the country too.
  • CarolinaWanderer
    •
    16 years ago
    casualguy, it is very normal to think of missed opportunities. Such events play on your mind because they are "unfinished business", and will never completely leave you. Make the most of missed opportunity memories and learn to enjoy them by fantasizing what would have been.
  • Clubber
    •
    16 years ago
    casualguy, I remember one very well. I had gone to a party with a friend. After it had died down, he and I sort of hung out a bit with the two women who's apartment we were in. Well, after my friend and one of the women departed to a bedroom, the other woman and I talked a bit. Soon, we were both asleep. I ended up on the floor and she on the sofa. She woke me some time later and told me, with open arms, that she was cold. I got her a blanket.
  • wondergrl5
    •
    16 years ago
    clubber - HA HA HA (Im laughing with you of course ;) ) lopaw- I like fucktard too. "Island of misfit toy" sounds like my club
  • wondergrl5
    •
    16 years ago
    so I was told a slut is a woman that sleeps around with men but a women who sleeps around with women is a player Im Bi so what am I???? LOL
  • njscfan
    •
    16 years ago
    wondergrl5: The answer is obvious. You're a SLAYER.
  • wondergrl5
    •
    16 years ago
    oh I LIKE THAT!!!!!
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