Body shaming by review

This whole "body shaming" thing is so ridiculous. Fat isn't healthy. Pretending it is doesn't help anyone. Don't be an ass about it. Don't go up to someone and tell her that she's a fat pig. That's just being a dick. Treat people better than that. But describing dancers on a strip club review site? Especially without names? That's totally reasonable and frankly appreciated.

fat is fat! I admit I'm very particular about what kind of girls I like to look at and to touch...

I read your review and the comment which prompted this discussion. You clearly have a talent for writing in an entertaining way. The dancer who commented on your review clearly has an insecurity about her own body, and she is in the wrong business to be sensitive, especially if she's fat. Imagine the (warranted) verbal thrashing a rail skinny guy with zero muscle would take on a construction crew where he needed to lift heavy objects. Now imagine him complaining to the foreman that people were body shaming him. Seems ridiculous doesn't it? There's not much people can do about height, breast/dick size, feet, general shape of the face, and all that. But one's fat percentage relative to one's body frame is completely a function of eating and exercise habits in all but a miniscule number of cases.

fatty fatty, 2 by 4, can't fit through the kitchen door.

"Lord, we got folks in the street ain't got nothin' to eat
And the obese milkin' welfare
But God, if you're five foot three and you're three hundred pounds
Taxes ought not to pay for your bags of fudge rounds"
Rich Men North of Richmond, Oliver Anthony

I am (unsurprisingly) in favor of shaming fat people. I am in favor of shaming furries. I am in favor of shaming wal-creatures. I am in favor of shaming flamers and other deviants. If you act like a fool or look like a fool, somebody needs to call it out. I know all the old hippie perverts like to say that older generations have pointed out that the younger generations have been driving this country downhill for generations, but as a late Gen X I have to say that this is a truth which is self -evident. There are plenty of boomers in need of shaming - it started with them- but all of the Millenials and Gen Z eating Tide pods or shooting Orbeez at innocent bystanders hopping on every internet trend have accelerated what every poll agrees Americans perceive - this country is headed in the wrong direction.

Military recruiting shortfalls and failed fitness qualifications - fatties.
Skyrocketing type 2 diabetes - fatties.
Sharp increases in colorectal and abdominal cancers linked to obesity? Duh - the cause is in the name.

But in the world of strip clubs less is more. Show more flesh, but don't have too much flesh to show.

It's going to be an odd day...first the story about bartender at Sapphires filing lawsuit over sexual comments, and now a post about PL being criticized over judging dancers' appearances.

2024 may very well be the year that cancel culture and political correctness switch into an even higher gear.

Being a dick isn’t anything to be proud of either, most people know what they need to do, if it were so simple most folks wouldn’t gain weight if there was a better option.
But as usual the classy folks here are the insecure and insensitive jerks, they get off by saying stupid things.

I’m sure this post will get insulting remarks from folks who’ve never met me, but I really don’t care I enjoy the stupidity of folks that have distorted mirror image views.

Just as with typical virtue signaling in everyday life/media, it's the people other than the subject dancers getting upset. Those girls know they are overweight, yet chose to work in a job where bodies are judged. I imagine there are PLs who go to see them BECAUSE of their bodies. I don't think they to go home crying because some guy didn't like them due to their size.

Guys go to clubs to escape the pearl-clutching and morality police of everyday life. There's no sense in bringing those aspects onto a SC board.

Oh, and by the way, I have, on many occasions over the years, heard dancers speaking negatively about overweight guys (eg, "I don't like dancing for that guy...he's too fat"). So, before y'all continue with the Captain Save/Protect A Ho persona, understand that they certainly aren't shy about saying how they feel about PLs.

Keep the activity pure to it's purpose...which is to keep feel-feels out of it, and allow PLs to get their rocks off while the ladies earn some cash by shaking their asses.

^ Lets be real, you folks calling others virtue signaling, or pearl clutters, have internet balls, hiding behind a screen name on an anonymous website, doesn't make you brave at all, I got a few buddies that work at some of our clubs over 6'4" weighing 350 or so, instead of being a dick to some little girl in her underwear, why don't y'all open your big yaps and try to body shame one of them in person. There is value in being kind, and believe me it ain't being a virtue signaler' or a Cap'n Sav A Ho.

Eh, like most things, there can be a certain nuance to weight discussion that doesn’t translate well to a message board. There’s a difference between “too heavy for my tastes” and “objectively fat.” We’d do well to remember that the strip club is the ultimate free market of capitalism. The girls work 100% on sales and tips. She might be too fat for you, but if she’s been working there awhile, there’s a reason, either she has a niche or does extras. In the civvy world, we used to call them slumpbusters and be thankful for them.

"Bar As Shabby As The Girls" is the review I think you're referring to. Let's just say for the sake of conversation that all the dancers are in fact fugly except for one, then you did single out everyone in reverse. But it's a review site and that's what you saw, so write it up the way you'd like.

Much worse has been written about dancers in a review here, and by name, but it's easy to see how dancers putting their bodies out there to earn money could take offense. The comment put on your review also wasn't that harsh. It stated a fact in less than flattering terms, and clearly stung enough for you to post about it here seeking reassurance.

You wrote some jokes, she had a joke of her own, and not everyone found them funny. All in a day's work in the land of tuscl.

This convo reminds me of when I first checked out Emeralds in Port Charlotte. In short, there was one hot girl who was occupied and one fat dancer who was not. I did everything reasonably obvious to indicate my lack of interest in the fat dancer, but she refused to get the message. She got onstage, I changed tables all the way to the back. She stripped-stomped her boots, I looked around at the decor and layout of the club. She called out directly to me calling me to the stage, I didn't look up from my phone. You're not there to dance for free, I get it, but I'm not there to watch fat chicks dance. I can watch clothed fat chicks and clothed hotties all day at any sidewalk cafe. I can ogle bikinied hotties and bathing fat chicks all day at any beach around here. I go to strip clubs to see sexy bare tits and ass. Period. I am not spending time and money with any dancer I do not find attractive. Life is too short.

Strip clubs are some of the most honest places in the world. In them, you don't have to lie and say that Lizzo is hot, or Caitlyn Jenner is a woman.

If you're a fat dancer and you can earn a living that way, good for you, but I'm not going to partake. But if that's they're identifying characteristic that they're the BBW of the place, I'd prefer to know and mark them off my list.

The only reason we go to strip clubs to connect with women we find physically attractive. Its not as if we judge the women we date/marry by the same standards. Love doesn't know size, but lust does. I married my wife when she was a size 20, met her when she was a size 14 and the clothing she bought last night was a size 8. So, in my real life, size and weight do not matter. To be fair am I glad that while everyone else's wife got fat, while mine looks great now. I have been with my wife almost 34 years and strip clubbing for almost 49. 49 years ago my ideal stripper was 5'2", b-cup and 105 pounds. Today my ideal stripper is 5'2", b-cup and 105 pounds.
I won't bash a dancer on her weight, but when they ask to sit, have a drink or get a dance I just say no thank you. If they ask why I tell them they are not my type. If they press me I either turn away if they are rude, or tell them that I have a wife with DD's so I want the opposite here. That always works. I have battled weight my entire life. fat is not attractive. Fat is not good. fat is not much different when it comes to health than smoking. I am going through a period of being thinner right now. Thats is because I have renewed my acceptance of this single fact: If you are going to be thin, there will be many times that you are hungry. How we handle that determines weight.
On another subject, its going to snow so fuck strip clubs I am going skiing.

say 100 real fat porkers were told about their current body state in a real blunt matter. pre-millenial times the bitter reality would hit real deep into many of their souls. oh the person who pointed all that out is just a real insensitive asshole. but there are times that insensitive asshole is what is needed for motivation, as there could be maybe 15 out of those 100 will respond with, "sucks the way that prick said it but yeah he's right. i gotta do something and start fixing my shit and be better."

but of course with the anti-shaming movement currently at max blast 15/100 is maybe down to say 8/100. and with the way gen z is operating and leading the way for gen alpha to follow 8/100 could go down to as low as 3/100.

It's hard to get very far with "body shaming" accusations in a building where the entire unforgiving business model is objectifying women based on their appearance.

While I try to not be a dick to dancers, I also think that they need to have a certain skin thickness to work the job.

“So is it body-shaming when the subject has no idea what was said?”

I would say so, sure. There is nothing about that term that requires the object to be named explicitly. On the other hand, weight is a factor in looks, and looks are everything in the stripper business. Moreover we want to know about your experience as it informs our choices.

So why shouldn’t you call it like you see it?

I’ll add that lots of people like bigger dancers, and “how big is too big” is subjective anyway. Fuck it. Tell your truth PL!

Eeeeh. It’s a common trope even in the non sex-work world that “well you’re not even attractive!” is a common refrain from dudes just after they faced rejection in some way. And they obviously considers her some base level of attractive just to even try. I personally consider a lot of body shaming comments useless when it seems to be in reply to not getting a desired outcome.

If a body shaming review has something like “I walked right in and right out of the club before I talked to anybody and I didn’t want to talk to anybody because of xyz physical qualities”…then I’m more likely to believe that it’s their true opinion.

Since I (and founder) think that this site is for dancers as well as PLs, I'd say, yes, it's body shaming. If somebody on twitter said "all strip club customers are wannebe rapists", that's offensive. Even if it wasn't directed at anyone in particular.

As a rule of thumb, refer to people as they would like to be referred to. Say something like "lots of BBWs at the club, none of them were bothersome, didn't get dances with any because that's not my type".

It's not just obnoxious to dancers. To arrogantly assume your preferences are the only valid ones is obnoxious to PLs who don't share them.

Maybe OP could have written it in a more tolerant or respectful way and yeah there is some validity to the question of "if she's so fat & ugly, why were you trying to get a blowjob?" but at the same time it's a review about a strip club. Clearly physical appearance of the strippers is significant and relevant to a strip club review. As far as I'm concerned it's well within bounds for him to express his opinion that he found the girls to be unattractive and to describe the reasons for his opinion. Anyone reading it should be an adult capable of realizing that its subjective and the opinion of the author. This is over-sensitivity as much as it is body shaming. And yeah, its not lost on me that you could say I'm being over sensitive to the use of the body shaming term.

I'm not saying it's cool to go picking some random person on IG's pictures and start commenting about how they're fat and ugly. Or walk into a restaurant and taunt the hostess for being unattractive. But I'm perfectly fine with going to a football game and calling a cornerback slow because the wideout left him in the dust. Or saying the receiver can't catch cause he dropped a ball that hit him in the hands. In this case, I see more similarity to the latter than the former.

I wouldn't disagree with nice's comment that often those sorts of comments are more a result of not getting the desired outcome than the true belief, but would add that it's not a phenomena unique to men. Women do it too. It does seem a little less likely to be the case in a strip club review though. In a strip club, an assessment of "the girls are super hot, but they won't blow you" doesn't really reflect negatively on the reviewer, so there isn't as much motivation to attempt to deflect with negative comments about others as there is in other situations.

Yes, on the other hand, it is what it is. Would be nice if we could all see the beauty of each other's souls. But the world is not a nice place. I've literal had a dancer say "what, am I too fat for you!". That's the kind of thing a dancer should get fired for after fair warning.

Body shapes of the dancers is pertinent info, but I don't see any reason to being cruel about it.

I love fit women and I work out and am very fit myself. Heavy women don’t sexually appeal to me. They do appeal to a lot of guys though.

But only a giant asshole would body shame someone. Mind your fucking business. Worry about your own health or your fat kid’s, not hers.

I’ve seen some pretty bad fat references. One guy called a rather large dancer a sweat hog in a review. I remember back during my military day, guys talking about getting drunk and going hog questing. It was competition to see who could sleep with the largest women.

I get the impression the OP would not criticize a stripper's body to her face. But, best to avoid any expressing (or feeling) hatred or contempt for someone who isn't being malicious. Staying positive is best for yourself and others.