Getting a gf

avatar for Careless_kevin4405
Careless_kevin4405
I know I'm a dumbass for asking this question on this site, out of all forms sites on the internet. But, how do I get a gf? I never lucked out on online dating, I dont go to university, I work a Male dominated IT job.

I dont friends anymore so I can only ask u guys.

And no this is not a troll post nor a joke. Thanks

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avatar for Brahma2k
Brahma2k
a year ago
Confidence is a must have. Better hair cut, workout, better clothes, find and do whatever is necessary to build inner confidence. Female radar senses confidence as well as lack of. Additionally, being a good (confident) conversationalist. This takes practice. Talk with the old lady in the grocery line, talk to the man at the register. Talk with absolutely! everyone. This general conversation builds critical conversational skill with unknown people. FYI, Some will give you no conversation back, cold shoulder. Good! that segues into added advice, take rejection as just a bump in the road. When a man can just brush off a rejection like it’s just a part of the game, he’s well on his way. Also, nice guys finish last. It doesn’t mean be an a-hole but if you meet a girl don’t be constantly backing down or saying what she wants to hear or “sorry” every 5 minutes. A woman wants a man with a backbone. Added, Verbally mess with her in a humorous way.
That’s all part of ‘having game’. “I need a gf” is not confident or having game. What you need is a focus on you. Improve your confidencé, improve your conversational skills, and the worm will very likely turn.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
a year ago
Don't pursue a girl. be patient. sometimes it takes time. and don't follow my advice. I'm divorced.
avatar for Heaven-sent
Heaven-sent
a year ago
Women like men that have: Car, Job, money, place to stay. If you have these you can do it. Don’t fake it and be someone else because you’ll be stuck doing that stuff if she likes you. So if you want to go to comic book conventions and dress up for sci-Fy movies do that and be on the look out for girls that are there. Get your eyes out of your phone. Walk around looking and you’ll see something right in front of you. I can’t emphasize hygiene enough. Don’t smell bad! You don’t have to wear expensive cologne. Just don’t smell bad!
Don’t be afraid to workout. It’s good for you. Walking two miles a day is pretty easy after you start and it will expose you to a lot of different people and do wonders for your physique . This will expose you to people at the shoe store, people in the neighborhood/ gym, etc.
The more contacts you make the greater the likelihood of finding someone so don’t be afraid to alter your daily routine.
avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
a year ago
^
Heaven ape has a point. Female hairless ape want males with stuff like cars and houses and whatnot. Fortunately, I have my super cool modified Tesla and my job is bein’ a frickin’ rick, so I got that shit nailed down. You’ll have some problems because you’re neither a rick nor a lion, so I guess the comic con advice is okay…if you want females that go to comic cons that is.

The hygiene advice is also important. Think of it this way: if you can offend the dull olfactory sense of the average hairless ape you are way to frickin’ smelly for your own good. Take a frickin’ shower. When I’m home with my girlfriend…err, sexy lioness I live with…I wash regularly. Of course, she frickin’ nags me so much that I soon tire of it and then I’m on the road with a gimlet in one hand and a rickarita in the other, letting my Tesla autopilot take me wherever it wants to go. ROAR!!!
avatar for WiseToo
WiseToo
a year ago
You never stated your age. If girls have never shown an interest in you by the time you are in your late 20's forget it. The game is older. That ship has sailed.

Even if you follow all of the advice given (which is all excellent) the women you may meet at that age all have much more experience with relationships while you have none. They can easily manipulate you and take advantage. They are not gf material.
avatar for FLAP3000
FLAP3000
a year ago
@Brahma2k has given you the best advice there is on this topic. Take a year away from women and work on the things he mentioned. Come back stronger than ever.
avatar for rattdog
rattdog
a year ago
so you're interested in having a girlfriend in your life......

you do realize that having one in your life for most guys in general that this is a job right?

all of the above replies are very valid. but the most important thing about all those replies is that you first have to have the mindset that all of the above shouldn't be done for the intended girl of choice but rather for YOURSELF. you have to build yourself up and take pride of the effort and results. this is shit 95% of men have to do - yeah the average guy. you got the job part down, so that's good. the rest you gradually tackle and work on.
avatar for galabad
galabad
a year ago
Well, hold on there Wise - there are a lot of young girls out there with daddy issues who get interested in older guys. Now, I'm not saying this is a good or bad thing - it's just a thing that exists in our world. I wouldn't be a prick and take advantage of this in an exploitative way, but just because you're older doesn't mean that hottie is always dismissing you out of hand. The game ain't over after 30, it just changes. If you're north of 30 and try to act like a 23 year old, that probably won't fly, just act your age and be comfortable with that. Yes, all the basics still apply - hygiene and the like - but be unapologetically you (as long as you aren't an asshole), put yourself out there, and things can happen.
Since you're here I know you're' going to clubs, when you're there next, find a girl that is ok with talking for a while, buy her drinks and tip her, but just talk to her. Practice talking about yourself (or whatever persona you've adopted for the club) and asking her about herself. Tell her a dumb joke. Be respectful. It may be transactional, but it can actually be a fun conversation. You might be able to ask her for advice on how to talk to girls on the outside, she might think it's sweet. I can't overemphasize this enough though, just make sure it's the right kind of girl who is ok with just talking for a while and keep the drinks/tips coming, and don't for a minute think she's actually interested in you. She'll want to keep you happy and maybe even think you're sweet, but keep it in the club. Good luck.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
Ultimately you will have to answer this for yourself. There's no answer for everyone. One thing that makes it harder for you is you're not asking "how do I get a wife". For many, maybe most, women, if your ultimate goal is not marriage, that's at least a big negative, if not a show stopper.

It's very very possible to have an SO, and still be a miserable shit. The more you try to act in ways that feel phoney to you to find/keep an SO, the more likely it is that you'll end up being one such miserable shit. With the possible added bonus of bringing miserable shit children into the world.

The paradox is, the more you succeed in having a happy life without an SO, the better your chances of ending up in a happy situation with an SO.

Sex workers can, in the obvious way, help you be happy without an SO. The problem is, many/most women will see it as a big negative, if you see sex workers. On the other hand, if you can become a fav regular of sex workers, that's a stepping stone towards being a good SO. Perhaps even with the sex worker. Most of the sex workers I have gotten to know don't rule out dating customers. But you have to be willing to be exclusive with them, even though they are doing sexual stuff on the job. Or replace the income they would loose by quitting.

If you are being your true, best self, and a woman isn't into you, that means you are not into her. It's infantile to get resentful, it means you are expecting her to be something she's not. When people lament that no one wants to date them, it's almost always about them not wanting to date anyone they've met so far. Wanting to date the person you wish somebody was doesn't count as wanting to date them.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
a year ago
I think the op hasn’t gotten a snowflake’s chance in hell of actually getting a girlfriend, unless maybe he gets some duct tape and a burlap sack, who knows maybe eventually she’ll learn to love him, or not lol
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
Have you tried asking ChatGPT?
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
a year ago
I think the OP is a troll.
avatar for rattdog
rattdog
a year ago
^yeah hope that is true. if not then it's just a ticking timebomb waiting to explode to fuck a lot of shit up.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
a year ago
Same troll, different name. Always drama and negative attitude towards women.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
If you're in the GTA, it's a drive, but I've heard it said often that the female-to-male ratio in Ottawa is high.
avatar for iknowbetter
iknowbetter
a year ago
OP could be setting his standards too high. When I was in my 20s I was only interested in super hot girls, unfortunately they weren’t usually interested in me. But as I got a little older, I realized that more average-looking girls fucked just as good - often better, than the super hot ones. And a fat chick with a pretty face can give an amazing blowjob.
avatar for Pussylicker2
Pussylicker2
a year ago
Simple, lower your standards. If you can get into fat girls you'll have it made. All the replies so far have been good. Going to strip clubs is a bad idea because you get used to hotties, so the first thing to do is stop going to them. Hotties have no problem getting a guy, most of them have a guy. Fat, old ugly girls are more likely to not have a boyfriend. Don't tell her you love her and crap, she's just their to help you get game. Don't feel bad about dumping her when something better becomes available, you did her a favor in the first place.

Like others have said, shower every day, do your nails and hair, get some nice clothes, shoes are important. Keep your car nice, and make sure your bathroom is clean. If you do manage to get a chick in your place, and she uses your bathroom, if it's disgusting she'll avoid having sex with you.

Get a part-time job as a bartender. Join AA, they have plenty of women. Good luck!
avatar for chiefwiggum
chiefwiggum
a year ago
I know the OP said that online dating was not for him, but you have to increase your odds. Working at a male dominated industry like me totally sucks to meeting girls, I know it, I live it. But I also online dated a lot. For me, the difference between online dating and strip clubs is that strip clubs is practically on-demand, where it can be a tiring game with online dating.

First work on your appearance. As stated above, if you haven't been dating in your 20s, you have a large hill to climb. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt. You just have to be slim or fit, somewhat tall, and likeable. Also as stated above, if you have a car, a job, and place to live, you're like 80% of the way there.

Once you have all that settled, then it's time to start meeting girls. be confident and also try to figure out what you want out of life and relationships. It's ok if you just want to hook up, but don't complain if there is no meaning to life. Date a lot. If girls start pressuring you to be exclusive, you're doing something right.
avatar for 5footguy
5footguy
a year ago
If you are sincerely replying to this thread, Kevin got ya. It's still entertaining to watch, so keep up the trolling Dusty! Er, I mean, Kevin.
avatar for minnow
minnow
a year ago
If 5footguy starts dating WNBA players, OP just might have a chance at getting a GF.
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
a year ago
How the fuck have all of you replied to this? This is his most blatant troll job yet. Ooops I guess I did too. Fuhhhhhhhhck
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
@drew, even though you come across as honest dude, I would not bet more that $5 that anybody actually goes to a strip club to get a covered hand job. Glass house, dude, glass house. I just hope nobody bullshits in the reviews. They can bullshit all they want in the discussions, as long as it's entertaining. Whether Kevin is real or a parody, his nominal dating situation aligns with the incel/man-o-sphere subculture. Get real, none of us are going to speak the unassailable truth like rickthelion ooes.
avatar for funonthaside
funonthaside
a year ago
Haha...if they think it is their idea.
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