Trump Turns Self In To Atlanta Strip Club

Aug 24, 2023, 8:43 PM

ATLANTA—After being indicted by a grand jury in Georgia for his attempts to overturn the 2020 presidential election, Donald J. Trump reportedly traveled to Atlanta Thursday and turned himself in to a Fulton County strip club. Trump, according to multiple witnesses, could be seen exiting his heavily barricaded motorcade, giving a thumbs-up to his supporters, and walking with his hands up toward the Tiger Lounge Gentlemen’s Club. Upon reaching the entrance, Trump then opted to give a short impromptu press conference, where he thanked the brave bouncers, exotic dancers, and topless hostesses for serving their country, all before having a feather boa wrapped around his neck and being somberly led inside. At press time, Trump was seen leaving a private room with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick marks on his collar, and pink handcuffs around his wrists after giving several exotic dancers over $200,000 in singles.

Photo: theonion.com

I had a bitch of a time getting to my favorite Atlanta club(Vivide) today because my normal route goers right past the Fulton County Jail. My GPS went wild trying to find away. Everything with in 1 mile of the jail was blocked off. Jen the bar tender told me that she managed to get through with a police escort. It took me an additional 25 minutes. There were a lot of pissed off employees and dancers and they were pissed at the DA and not Trump.

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JayTeeDee2 years ago

Shadowcat, did you see the (real) news that Trump hired Steve Sadow as his lead Georgia attorney today? Two decades ago, Sadow represented the Gold Club's owner in the RICO case that shut down ATL's most successful strip club.

minnow2 years ago

April Fool's is still 7 mos. away.......

georgmicrodong2 years ago

For The Onion, every day is April 1st...

misterorange2 years ago

Trump's angry mugshot is fuckin great. They should put it on the dollar bill. He looks like he belongs among the founding fathers. images.foxtv.com

jackslash2 years ago

Trump’s mugshot is great but not as great as the coming photo of his first day in prison.

ww2 years ago

^^^ Trump will never serve any time inside an actual prison.

Doubtful he will even get convicted, but IF he did, he'd serve his sentence on some type of house arrest. Still living his best life.

As it stands, there is a higher chance he is elected president again than of being convicted.

goldmongerATL2 years ago

It will be interesting to see what if any states use the 14th Amendment to not allow him to be on the ballot and will disqualify any write-in votes. No convictions necessary.

ww2 years ago

^^ The answer is zero.

Hank Moody2 years ago

The answer should be zero. He should’ve been convicted at the second impeachment but McConnell is a coward, put his own career above the country and punted the issue back to us voters. It’s up to us to decide.

twentyfive2 years ago

^ McConnell is another drooling dementia patient. He belongs in an assisted living facility.

georgmicrodong2 years ago

Trump's mugshot reminds me of the kind of shots Kubrik took of his deranged characters. That head cocked forward, angry eyebrow, eyes staring into the camera thing.

So, not at all inappropriate. Deranged is a decent description of Trump.

gammanu952 years ago

"McConnell is another drooling dementia patient. He belongs in an assisted living facility"

Okay, the pot keeps calling the kettle black.

twentyfive2 years ago

^ you never get tired of being an ass do you ?