Detroit: TUSCL's Ultimate Strip Club City

I've never been clubbing in Detroit, but I maintain there should be a separate international bracket (or at least non North matches. It's a whole different culture and range of options out there.

Frankfurt vs Tijuana Bangkok vs Puerto Plata

Could be some intriguing matchups.

Non north America matchups*

I hold a dissenting opinion. I guess I'll just stay down here in Miami and enjoy it anyway.

I CHALLENGE anyone who has been to both Detroit and Toronto combined more than me - lol!

They both are awesome for people who like to um… “sin.” In addition to strip clubs, Detroit has casinos and Toronto has a thriving massage and escort scene, and both cities have equally shitty weather.

The bad part about both of these cities on flat land is if you want to go anywhere it seems to take about 45 minutes no matter how close it seems. It makes it somewhat difficult to club hop if you want to hit multiple clubs in one night. Landing Strip and Flight Club look right next to each other on a map in Detroit metro but even that takes a good 20 min between the two. Another complex issue is does anyone really “want” to go to Detroit? Does anyone really “want” to go to Toronto? “Oh yeah I’m dying to see a Pistons game or the Lions over the weekend.” I’ve done them both. Several times. Now, going to a Michigan U football game is an experience. MSU, eh not as much. Western Michigan? Yeah done that too. Banged some locals? Check. Met jackslash? Not yet. Another ding for both cities is if you’re staying by the airport at both there’s not a heck of a lot to do other than go TO strip clubs.

Which is better than the other? That depends on what you prefer.

Like to gamble in addition to clubbing? Detroit

Like to have fun strictly inside the club? Detroit

Want to have the option of having fun outside the club? Toronto

Nude clubs? Toronto

Still the golden days may be behind us in both cities. Gambling INSIDE the club? It happened for a short time in Detroit. Nude stage dances in Detroit? That too happened for a short time. I haven’t been to Toronto since COVID but I have heard the massage / club / escort scenes have taken a big hit and haven’t recovered as well as some other US cities.

Keep it PL one lapdance at a time.

A true strip club championship city can't be crowned from a list that doesn't include the strip club Mecca of Cincinnati Ohio. Or maybe I shouldn't have been doing tequila shots tonight.

In reality there are a couple of cities (St Louis, Lexington) that I would have included in the 16 but neither of them would have made it past the first round so no real overall impact on the outcome.

If that's the way it ended up good for Detroit, I still believe there's more to Miami than strip clubs, and the weather to me makes that comparison a bit sketchy. now to those of you who were casino fans, how would you rate the Detroit casinos in comparison to the Miami casinos ?

If you want to compare variety and walkability, it's hard to beat New Orleans. 99% if the atrip clubs are on Bourbon between Canal and Ursulines. World famous Rick's Cabaret is right next to world-famous Arnaud's Restaurant. Factor in NOLA being a top convention and sports championship city (the Superdome), the strip clubs and escort ads can become pretty hot.

Congratulations to Detroit. Evidently the strip clubs are good, but outside of the club Miami has more hot civilian women walking around in sexy outfits than any other city in North America. So I’m in no hurry to book a flight to Detroit. However Toronto might be intriguing.

Honestly, if I found myself in either Detroit or Miami with a bit of free time and loose cash, I'd be totally good with that.

But I'm happy (and lucky) to have Providence as my local hangout.

^agreed.

For me it's always been about the three "G's".... Golf, Girls and Gambling. Very few places you can get all three for a reasonable price that's easy to travel to (DTW is a big airport). Four casinos in close proximity (counting Windsor), great inexpensive golf, and we all have read about the clubs. In my experiences Detroit / Windsor is my #1.

Today looks like a great day for golf .....in Miami, not Detroit lol.

Illinois strip clubs have slot machines in them. I think maybe elementary schools in Illinois have slot machines, and distilled liquor.

@ Ski - During the cold weather it's just two G's; substitute time in the gym.

Winning!

^ When you golf in the snow do you use a yellow golf ball? 😃

I've been to Detroit about twice as much as I have been to Toronto. Most of my Toronto experience is pre-covid (also including mississuagua). Girls are easily way hotter in Toronto (though my last trip to Detroit was the best showing of talent). Extras are easier in Detroit, hands down, however. In Detroit, girls usually start the conversation which makes for easier less awkward negotiation. Toronto is all coy and a little shy, at least for me -- I feel like I'm losing the vibe if the negotiations go south.

I've only been to COI once, and it was Spearmint and it sounds like I was there a year earlier than what it is now. I wouldn't conflate COI and LA. To me, LA sucks almost as much as Chicago and NY. LA would be the highest of the three because of looks.

I haven't been to Miami, I plan on going next year on vacation.

If money truly is no object/whales, a strong case for number 1 should be Las Vegas. But, I don't know if it's still COVID effects, but mileage has been low, single lap dances are rare if non-existent, and cost of entry is high.

@ twentyfive - Generally folks don't play golf when there's snow on the ground.

^ We try to avoid snow in my neck of the woods LOL

Actually, in Minnesota, sometimes golf courses are set up on frozen lakes and yellow golf balls are used. But I think all our brains froze so we do nutty things to cope.

Thanks, Muddy. The tournament was well-conceived, well-managed, informative, and a lot of fun – despite Arizona Turd Blossom’s complete meltdown and his other uncalled-for, nasty comments directed at individual participants. (The 161 members who've put desertscrub on ignore have definitely made a good choice.)

Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to explore clubs in each and every bracketed city up for a vote, guided by expert advice from TUSCL’s hardcore corps of reviewers. Focusing on the clubs in each of these metro areas for the tournament (ignoring the weather or opportunities to golf, gamble or sight-see), I thought the final match-up between Miami and Detroit was spot on, and I have no quarrel with the outcome of the championship. I look forward to re-visiting many if not most of the cities in the Sweet 16!

Thanks, again, Muddy, and to all who provided thoughtful commentary along with their selections.