The most comprehensive beginner's guide to Tijuana you've ever seen

Hello Everybody, A few weeks ago I went to Tijuana for the first time to experience the strip clubs and infamous Hong Kong. I went on the Sunday before Labor Day, September 04. Unfortunately, I have been too busy to write my report until now - when it rains, it pours. However, now that I have time, I can do what I’ve wanted to do since I came back from Tijuana: write a beginner’s guide. Tijuana (TJ) is a fantastic place to be, but it has its sharp corners. Any newcomer may be afraid to cross the border and for good reason. The sidewalks are not clean, and there are people walking around the streets just waiting to scam tourists. That being said, if you know what you’re doing and what to expect, you can be perfectly safe and have the time of your life. The only issue is that all of the information about TJ on this site is spread across 30 discussions, 65 comment sections, 3 galactic star cruisers, and a Simpsons GIF everyone keeps linking: [ [view link] ] This post is for newcomers that want to go to TJ but are looking for information in a relatively neat and concise manner. I will explain all of the abbreviations relevant to TUSCL discussion while taking you through my trip to TJ. I am also pulling information from many of the long-time TJ Mongers (the guys who have been to TJ many times over) who have posted to the discussion boards. A notable thanks to PutaTester, TJ Walker, EastCoaster, OPIllini96, CJKent_band, 623, and many others - you’ve been a great resource to gather information from. A special thanks to azfrizole, who met with me personally to give me a tour of the area and provide insight. With all of the formalities out of the way, I hope this post is as entertaining as it is informative. To start, your preparation: If it is your first time, you should stay at Hotel Cascadas - and the rooms are 70% off on Mondays and Tuesdays (kind of - we’ll get to that in a second). If you can’t make it Monday or Tuesday, any other day should still be great. Just know that the places will be busier, hence more crowded, on Fridays and Saturdays. The rooms are also more expensive Friday and Saturday nights by a sizable amount. If you’re OK with that, have some fun. Personally, I like being around the minimal number of people possible. Once you know when you are going, make a reservation from the Hotel Cascadas website - you pay when you get there. The rooms are quite nice, and you get your money’s worth when you upgrade (more on this later). That being said, the upgrades absolutely are not necessary, and you will have an (allegedly) great time even with their basic room. The Hong Kong VIP: The main strip club (SC) you’ll be staying at is the Hong Kong. They have a VIP pass that you can purchase for $60. Hong Kong, and your VIP card, is attached to the hotel you will be staying at, Hotel Cascadas. It gets you many discounts and commodities in both the Hong Kong and Hotel Cascadas, including a free drink in the club every 12 hours, 20-70% off your hotel room (we’ll get to that, I swear), 20% off at the Azul restaurant (I write a review about the restaurant later in the post), and more. The question is if $60 is worth all of the discounts you’ll be getting. I’ve done the math for you and will link it below. You request, pay, and pick up the VIP card at Hong Kong. If you are staying Monday or Tuesday night, the VIP is worth it. On Monday and Tuesday nights, if you have the VIP, you get 70% off your hotel room. This 70% discount will be about $60, which means you go even on the room and then get discounts on everything else. If you are staying more than one night within the next three months, the VIP you will go about even on the card (unless, of course, one of those nights land on a Monday or Tuesday). If you are staying one night on a Wednesday - Sunday night, it probably is not worth it unless you are getting a Penthouse Suite or higher. However, remember that if you stay more than one night within the next THREE MONTHS, you go about even or save. Below is the math for VIP cost to discount amount. The far right column shows how much you are saving or losing with the VIP - a positive number means that you are saving, and a negative number means you are losing. Note that I only count 1 free drink and approximately 1 meal in the calculation - there are many other savings available on the Hong Kong VIP, but these are the ones I recommend you absolutely need use. However, if you partake in more discounts (like the free drink: you can get one every 12 hours, which means you can snag one for the road on the day you leave) you might save more. You can see more about the various discounts on the Hong Kong website. [ [view link] ] What you should bring: Bring the minimal amount of stuff possible. Clothes, money, phone, wallet, passport, Drivers License, maybe some toiletries, done. I would recommend condoms, but they are not necessary (the girls have condoms in their purses). If you need Viagra, you can buy it before you go or when you are in Mexico (Like $5 for one pill in the local Mexican convenience store). I need to reiterate about the passport because it is very unlikely they will get back into the US without it. If you can fit all of your stuff into one backpack or duffle bag, you’re good. Don’t bring anything precious unless necessary (I.E. your cellphone). Clothes: Allegedly, Mexican men exclusively wear long pants no matter how hot it gets. Ergo, if you are not wearing long pants, everyone will know you’re a Gringo (tourist). If you are Asian like me, everyone will assume you are a tourist regardless of how you dress, so wear whatever the fuck you want. If you keep your head straight on yourself, being a tourist will not be an issue. Furthermore, I saw a whole bunch of guys wearing shorts, so you won’t be alone. At the minimum, don’t dress like a slob. Dress nice and you’ll be fine. My rule of thumb when visiting strip clubs (SCs) is to dress like you’re meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the third time: nice, but not too nice. I wore my SC classic: button-up short sleeve shirt with some cargo shorts. If you wear shorts, the girls will reach into your pant legs and rub your cock during the fichas (lap dances), so there’s a bonus to being a Gringo. Money: Bring anywhere between $300 - $700 cash for your first trip. $500 should be a good amount. Just remember to only bring as much as you are willing to lose. In other words, expect your wallet to be empty by the time you come back. If you cannot trust yourself with alcohol or when around beautiful women, leave your credit cards at home. Bring your money in hundreds, with about 20 1’s to pay for unforeseen costs (I.E. parking, taxi, quick lunch, etc.) You can split your hundreds at the clubs. If you are smart, you can split up your money and put them in various locations on your body in case someone tries to pull a fast one on you. If you’re lazy and aware like me, leave it in your wallet and keep a hand on your wallet at all times. No one is allowed to touch the wallet except me, for any reason - including the police. Speaking Spanish: The more Spanish you know, the more you will enjoy yourself. Your interactions with the girls and meseros (waiters) will have more substance if you know more Spanish. That being said, you can absolutely get by without any Spanish at all, but that’s probably not a good idea. I would recommend at least basic Spanish: Hello, How are you, My name is, I am from, etc. You also should know some numbers: 1-10, 20, 50, 80, and 100 (these are the prices almost everything might be). Phrases beyond that: I do not speak Spanish (No hablo español), I want to have sex (Quiero sexo), and I want you (Te quiero). Any more than this level of knowledge is gravy. If you think you may get trouble or you really don’t use Spanish, download Google Translate on your phone before you leave the US. Then, download the Spanish dictionary on it. You can now translate from English to Spanish and back without needing the internet (Note that you can only have one language + English downloaded at a time). Allegedly this will get you by, but you will definitely be better off knowing some simple Spanish. Multiple Immigration Form (FMM): This is the form that is “required” from you to pass from California to Mexico. I put “required” in quotations because they often do not check for it. If you have extra time before your trip, I recommend you fill out the form online and bring it printed to the border. It takes about 5 - 15 minutes. If you don’t have time or forget about it, don’t worry - they have copies at the border entrance too. Just know there's no AC there, so it might get hot. If you are using the PedEAST / San Ysidro entry, this is “El Chaparral” on the FMM. Global Entry (SENTRI): If you want to skip the customs line when you return to the US, you can invest in SENTRI. It lets you skip all custom lines WHENEVER you enter the US to my understanding, alongside unlocking TSA PreCheck whenever you fly. It costs $100 and lasts five years. If you travel often, this is likely a good investment. However, it is not necessary for your trip to TJ - you just save some 20-60 minutes when entering the US. And you all thought this would be a short post, but no - that was the first joke I said in this guide. Now you’ve done your preparation, and you’re on your way. This next section is for all of the people planning to walk into TJ. If you are flying or driving, you will need to find another post to help you there. However, if you are walking, make your way to PedEAST (you can find it on Google Maps). There’s a parking lot by the border called “Behind the Jack-in-In-The-Box” that you can pay for ($10 per night iirc). It is the “International Parking” lot behind the Jack-in-the-Box on Google Maps. If you want to avoid finding parking and paying for parking, you can park at Palm Ave Station (again, Google Maps) and take the trolley to the border. You can park free for 24 hours, and the trolley is $2.50 each way. The trolley ride is about 20-30 minutes iirc. You can get towed if your car is still there after 24 hours, but allegedly this rule is not heavily enforced. Still, I wouldn’t push it. Note that, while you are relatively safe while in the trolley, you are in public surrounded by strangers. While I was on the trolley, one man attempted to grab my bag and run with it. However, I am street smart and made sure that my bag was attached to my body at all times. When he grabbed my bag the strap snapped against my neck and held firm. Once I made stern eye contact and a tense moment passed, he quickly let go of the bag and left the tram. For some reason, I got a round of applause, so know that this is not how most people are. Still, better to stay safe once you leave your vehicle. (I am excited for people to use this story as a reason to say that TJ is unsafe, considering that I was not in TJ yet. I was still in the States when this happened.) Now you’re at the border. Follow the stream of people, and you’re probably going in the right direction. You’re now dealing with Mexican police once you enter the big intimidating building, so do not be shocked by some lads with fully-automatic firearms walking around. A security dude will ask you for your passport, maybe your FMM (if you have it, just give it to them with your passport), and 0-3 simple questions about your trip. They speak English. There’s a metal detector check (again, fully-automatics on patrol. They aren’t here to shoot you, so relax a bit), then you’re in Mexico. Don’t stop walking until you pass through a rotating metal one-way door thingy and you see a bunch of taxis. If you are learned, you’ll head right and find the Hotel Cascadas booth where you can wait for free transportation to the hotel. If you are dumb and lazy like me, you can take a taxi (you’re looking for the company Taxi Libre). Just hop in, declare “Hong Kong” like you’ve done this one thousand times, and you’re on your way. Once you get there, you pay the driver as much as he quotes you (somewhere between $5-10. Any more than $10, then you start a fuss. If you want to be forceful, say, “Diez, no mas. Gracias.” Hand him $10, and step out without another word.) Here is a link from Hong Kong about going from the border to the club. It utilizes their free limo service, but there are also taxis if that’s more your speed. [ [view link] ] You’re now in front of the Hong Kong strip club. This will be a little convoluted, so bear with me: I’m trying to save you money here. If you’re not getting a VIP card, you can skip directly into Hotel Cascadas left to the Hong Kong entrance. The plan is to get your VIP card from Hong Kong, then go to Hotel Cascadas and check-in. Enter the Hong Kong SC (NOT Hotel Cascadas). There will be a pat down and a metal detector. After passing through the metal detector, IMMEDIATELY turn left and head towards the reception desk. DO NOT pass through the curtains you so badly want to go through, DO NOT pass GO, and DO NOT collect $200. Get your VIP card from the receptionist (they should speak English, so ask all the questions you want). Then leave Hong Kong (yes, it is sad to leave without going in, but you’ll be back soon) and turn right. The next door over is the entrance to Hotel Cascadas. Up a flight of stairs and another pat down plus a metal detector. You will be doing this pat down + metal detector ritual EVERY time you enter ANY SC, and EVERY time you enter the hotel. I hated it, and it showed. It reached the point where the guys at the hotel and Hong Kong knew me by face because I would sigh and roll my eyes every time I came in, then be super exaggerated during the patdown and metal check. The staff are very friendly about the whole process, so no malice towards them - they’re just doing their job. Towards the end of my trip, they even offered to let me through without checking, but honestly, by that point, I was having fun with it so I went through anyways. Make your way to the reception desk and tell them you have a reservation. They’ll sit you in a lobby (with AC, thank whatever higher being you believe in) until your room is ready. They have wifi here - just ask. Almost all of the staff speak English and are very willing to help out. I was waiting in the lobby for about 20 minutes. It was Labor Day weekend, so that may have delayed things longer than expected. While you are waiting here, you will want to realize that you lost both of the silicone tips for your earbuds, as I did. This is an integral part of your trip, and you will miss out on important information if you don’t lose them. /s I was then taken to another reception area to complete my check-in (another 20 minutes. This was because of some technical difficulties as far as I understood). Finally, you will be checked in, and you are given a card for your room. Make sure you show the receptionist your VIP card from Hong Kong - this will give you a room discount. A $50 deposit was required for my room, as it was a Master Suite. The lower rooms have a $30 deposit iirc. With all of that settled, you’re on your way. Enter the hotel room. Make sure everything works (the shower, AC, TV, toilet, hot water). If something doesn’t work, you can make a call using the phone or just head back down to reception. There is a safe in the room to store valuables in. I did not use mine, but I’ve read that they are reliable. Spend some time getting acclimated to your room before heading back out. I’ve included my review of my Master Suite room below, but it may not reflect the experience of the Deluxe Single (their cheapest room). My understanding is that, with the VIP card, you are expected to check out of your room at 1 PM (no matter what room you get). I had a reservation for the Deluxe Single room and paid for the Deluxe Single room. However, there was an issue with my room and there were no other Deluxe Singles available, so I got upgraded to the Master Suite for free (there was some light negotiating that took place for this to happen, but they were very understanding). I shall be reviewing the room like I paid the expected price for it ($105 after the VIP discount), but know that I did not actually. In general, the room was very nice. I would say the decor was comparable to any hotel room you might find on the Vegas Strip. My room was not quite as modern or fancy as that shown in the website’s picture, but still quite nice. That being said, there were some things worth noting. Everything worked great - hot water, AC, TV, etc. There was a nice Bluetooth speaker plus a subwoofer set up for my use in the room. A classy picture of a beautiful nude Latina woman hung over the headboard of the bed. There was plenty of soap and some body wash available for me to use as well, alongside a plethora of towels. They also provided a toothbrush and toothpaste, the only things I forgot to bring with me on this trip. The jacuzzi worked and had nice warm water. The only issue was that the water was notably tinged brown. It was clean enough that I still took a dip and relaxed in the tub with jets flowing for about 10 minutes. It was unclean enough that I didn’t want to use it again after those 10 minutes. There were also bath bubbles available, but I didn’t use them. Overall, I would say that, if you are someone wanting to pay extra for luxury, the price for the upgrade is worth it. That being said, it is absolutely not necessary and you’ll probably be fine with their Deluxe Single. There are really only two things left to do before you start visiting the SCs: grab something to eat and put some clean water in your room. I am going to explain the local geography to exemplify where everything is, then take you along the route that I took on my trip. Where you first got dropped off at Hong Kong: that is the Main Street. On Google Maps they will call it C. Coahuila, but they don’t know anything. On the opposite side of the building, there is another entrance to both Hong Kong and Hotel Cascadas. This small alley south of the Main Street is called the Alley. Again, Google Maps gave the Alley a fake name: “Primer Callejon Coahuila.” Enough with the geography lesson and back to the trip: I went down to the Azul Restaurant around 5 PM to grab some dinner. Ask the staff for help finding the entrance - they’re nice. Here I met with my guide and friend for the evening azfriole. Great guy, would recommend, 5 stars. If the other TJ regulars are half as friendly as him, we’re in good company. He agreed to tour around the area a bit with me after our food. I would highly recommend stopping by the Azul restaurant, especially if you have the VIP. It is surprisingly good food for a great price. We got two full meals (think Olive Garden size), and the price for both of our meals came out to $17 (after the VIP 20% discount). Try to get a seat on the balcony on the second floor - you’ll have a good view of the Alley. I have included a more in-depth review of the restaurant below, but the TL:DR is to go there, especially if you have the VIP. Azul Restaurant - 4.5/5 I’m a pretty foody guy, and I was in culinary school for a little more than a full year, so I think I am a reasonable food critic. That being said, Azul restaurant was a great place to eat for a great price. Nothing to write home about, but I will definitely be eating here again. The entrance is a little wonky, so you may need some help finding the entrance and getting seated. Don’t worry - many of the staff speak English. The seats were nice, the staff were very accommodating, and the restaurant had a simple but effective Mexican flair to it. We were given some chips with salsa as an appetizer while we looked at the menu. The menu was online, found using a QR code on the table. If you want to look ahead of time, Google "Azul Restaurant Tijuana." The menu may come up in Spanish, but there should be a translation button at the top. I got the “Parmesan Lasagna with Salad,” and azfriole got a salad (I don’t remember which one). I will not speak for azfriole’s food, but it all looked good. Everything I got was cooked well. The lasagna pasta was not al dente, but it was fully cooked and not overcooked (it’s hard to get an al dente lasagna). All of the meat was fully cooked, and the cheese was nicely melted. Everything in the salad tasted fresh and of good quality. The dressing on top was also an excellent complement to the fresh vegetables. The only negatives I can give the food are serious culinary-school kind of details: The plating certainly could have been better, but it was still appetizing. It was the kind of plating you might find at Olive Garden - nice, but not impressive. The lettuce pieces in the salad were also not cut uniformly, and some were larger than bite size. Considering our entire meal came out to $17, I’d say that this is an excellent place to stop by. The only reason I’m taking off points is for the small details noted above. Next is the quest for some water. If you got a seat on the balcony at the Azul restaurant, you will be able to see a little convenience store called OXXO in the Alley. That’s your target. If you didn’t see it there, there is another OXXO on the Main Street across from Hong Kong. Be careful crossing the street - and don’t J-walk. Whenever you are crossing the street, cross where you would expect a crosswalk (from street corner to street corner). There are no lights signaling when it is safe to cross, so use your brain and be quick about it. There will occasionally be a pick-up truck with some military dudes and a fully mounted machine gun that drives by. Again, they’re not here to shoot you, so chill a bit. If you’re going to the OXXO in the alley, you can cross / J-walk, just be smart about it. Once you’re in OXXO, look for some water bottles (I got the brand “ciel”. Google it. That’s what they were serving in the restaurant, and it worked for me). Try to get 3 or 4, at the size that you would expect out of a vending machine (not the big ones nor the really massive ones). Some are for you, and some are for the girls: The girls you bring up to your room will appreciate a cool drink afterward, and you don’t want to drink the tap water. If you ever need more water, you can come back and buy some more. If you want some Viagra, you can grab some here. Three waters plus one Viagra pill came out to $7 for me. The cashier did not speak English, but she did speak “holding up a number of fingers to say how much things cost.” Make your way back to the room (and through the metal detector. Are you annoyed by it yet?) and plop your waters in the minifridge. They don’t charge you for this, unlike other places I’ve been… Some other stuff you should know about the streets: There is a birria taco stand on the street corner when you exit left (west) out of Hotel Cascadas onto the Main Street. Allegedly these are the best birria tacos in TJ, so this can be a nice place to grab a snack. I did not have time for these tacos, but everyone says they’re good. There is a tourism area nearby if that is something you are interested in. If you Google “Tijuana Arch,” you’ll see where you’re going. I did not go, for I was tired as hell from the rest of my week. However, my understanding is that this is a fine place to visit, just be careful (as usual). There is a restaurant on the street called “Caesar’s” that people like a lot. If you’re going, try the Caesar Salad. You can get there by going east on the Main Street and turning right onto Revolucion. Now we can get started with the SCs. Yes this is a long post. No, I’m not sorry. I’m actually having a bit of fun with this. There are four main SCs that I read about on TUSCL: Hong Kong, Chicago Club, Adelita Bar, and Bar Tropico. You should find everything you are looking for in those four bars. For your first time, there is no need to visit the other bars imo. The Hong Kong, Adelitas Bar, and Bar Tropico are all on the Main Street. Adelita Bar is directly to the right (east) of Hotel Cascadas, and Bar Tropico is across the street. To reach Chicago Club, you head right (east) out of Hotel Cascadas, then take your first left at the intersection. You will see it on your right. Between these four bars and the streets that connect them, you are relatively safe. To be safe, I would not interact with ANYONE on the street except the birria taco stand. Furthermore, these four clubs are one or two streets down from some seriously dangerous areas, so DO NOT GO BEYOND THESE FOUR CLUBS unless you know for certain what you are doing (i.e. the tourist area). If you stay between these four clubs, stay smart, and don’t get black-out drunk, you’re good to go. What to expect in the SCs Meseros: When you enter, you will likely be greeted by a passing mesero (waiter). They help run the show by providing drinks, food, and other conveniences to the visitors and Bar Girls (the strippers that work in the SCs. They are referred to as BGs on TUSCL). There is a good chance that a mesero will immediately try to grab your attention and become your guide for the evening. Decline this offer politely - you’re heading to the bar first (more on that below). However, as soon as you take a seat somewhere, a mesero will offer to grab you a drink (if you don’t have one already). If you have no BGs with you, they will find a girl to sit with you, even if you never ask. They can be a little annoying, but understand that it is their job. They actually pay to work in the club, and only make their way back into the black from the tips given by the visitors. Ergo, whenever a mesero brings you a drink, introduces you to a BG, or in general helps you, you should tip them $1 (more if you’re generous). When you are taking a seat anywhere, consider drinking your drink slowly - if your cup is empty, you will be harassed by meseros to get another drink. Almost all of the meseros will speak English, so feel free to ask them for help - just remember to tip them. If there is one mesero that you particularly like, consider typing him $4 or $5 - he will become your best friend for the night, and subsequent nights if you return. If there is a particular girl or type of girl you are looking for and need some help, find your favorite mesero - he’ll be glad to help you. Bartender: There is a bartender at every SC here, and they are helpful. You will not need to interact with them very often, and you can get away with never interacting with a bartender at all by talking to the meseros. However, I recommend going to a bartender when you first enter any SC (politely decline any mesero trying to grab your attention) and snag a drink directly from them. There are three reasons for this: 1) These lads are working just as hard as anyone else, and they deserve a tip too - $1-4 should do for your tip. 2) The bartender will exchange your $100s into 20s and 1s. You could go to a mesero to handle the exchange for you, but I would rather not hand $100 to a stranger to give someone else, even if they are on the clock. 3) While you are waiting for your drink and money exchange, you will have a good chance to scan the room. Take this time to see what the place is like, if there are any BGs that catch your eye, or if one mesero seems friendlier than the others. Bar Girls (BGs): These are the wonderful ladies that are working the floor. Depending on where you go, the body types and atmosphere will change - see my club introductions below. You can choose to find a BG you want to spend some time with, or you can take a seat by yourself. Either a BG with come to accompany you, or a mesero will deliver you a BG. Personally, I am the type to find a nice seat by myself and see what happens. There are pretty much four things you can do with a BG here, in escalating order: tell her to fuck off (politely), get a ficha (lap dance), get a VIP dance, or go arriba (sex). Tell her to fuck off (politely): The phrase you want to know is, “no gracias,” or “gracias, pero no.” She will try to push you to spend some money with her, really any at all. Every time I said no to a girl, she would push back a little, then offer a 1- or 2-song lap dance for $1. I took up all of these offers and was never disappointed. However, if you really want to end negotiations, say “no gracias” and tip them $1 (on top of whatever else you paid for with her) - this will often prompt them to leave. If a mesero brings you a BG, tip him a dollar. If you straight up so no to the girl, you probably don’t have to tip the mesero or the girl, but I would still tip both anyways if they were nice. There are other people watching, and there’s no reason to build a bad reputation. If a mesero brought you a BG that didn’t do it for you but was in the right ballpark, consider tipping him a little more and ask him to try again. Ficha (effectively a lap dance): A ficha is technically not a lap dance. A ficha is where you buy the BG a drink, and she happens to grind and dance on you the whole time she is drinking it. These will usually run you about $10 for the ficha, plus a $1 tip to the mesero (remember that you should also tip the BG $1 at the end if you want her to fuck off (politely)). The ficha length is completely determined by how fast the BG drinks her drink, so Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV). Some girls will try to cut you dry and drink it fast, most will take their time and let you enjoy her time. I never timed them, but they lasted about 10 - 15 minutes for me iirc. In all of the fichas I was in, they never felt rushed and all of my touching except insertion was permitted. My experiences in fichas ranged from standard ass grinding and twerking to nipple(s) in mouth to kissing to handjob through pant leg to dick sucking over my boxer shorts. Again, this will vary from girl to girl, so YMMV. Use the ficha to get to know the girl and figure out if you want to arriba with her (more on that below). VIP Room: I cannot recommend the VIP room, at least in Hong Kong. I don’t know the situation at the other SCs, but my understanding in Hong Kong is that it is $20+ for 5-10 minutes. My numbers might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that whatever you can get in the VIP room you can get in a ficha for cheaper. The Hong Kong VIP card does get you one VIP room trip at 50% off, so if you’re really curious you can use that. Other’s experiences may vary, but your money is probably better spent on fichas or arribas. Arriba (Sex): This is where you take your new favorite BG to your room and do what you want. As far as I read, arribas will range from $70 - 100 for 30 minutes. I was never quoted below $100, but I’m Asian (so everyone assumes I have money) and I never tried to barter down. If the BG tries to charge you more than $100, know that she is overcharging you. If she is the love of your life, go for it. Just know what the normal price is, and be surprised if it is over $100. You can negotiate down, or you can tell her to fuck off (politely). I’m not going to tell you what is or is not allowed in the arriba, as this is negotiated between you and the BG. Just remember that you aren’t talking to a sex doll - you’re talking to a human being. Treat your BG with respect and love, and you’ll have a good time. Depending on where you are staying, your 30-minute time limit may or may not be a hard limit (more on that later). At the end of your 30 minutes, tip the BG at least $5 (unless your experience was atrocious). Pass her a cool bottle of water to show your appreciation (you got water, right?) If you liked her, tip her more. I felt comfortable tipping $15-20, as all three of my arribas were fantastic. Some other auxiliary notes: The BGs have purses on them, and they all had condoms and lube on them (in my experience). They also had Mace, metal knuckles, a knife, or a combination of the three, so don’t start shit. If you’re not sure what music to play, you can leave it to the BG - they probably have a favorite playlist. Consider snagging their Spotify playlist if you enjoyed it, and impressing your next BG with it. If the BG enjoyed herself enough, she will probably try to exchange contact information with you. Expect WhatsApp, Instagram, or phone numbers. For all three of my fichas, they offered Instagram, but I did not have an Instagram set up so they instead gave me a phone number. For your time in the SCs (not in arribas), remember that the BGs in TJ are trying to sell you something different in comparison to the strippers in the US. US strippers make their money from VIP private dances, so that is what they are trying to sell you. They are trying to get you to spend 30 minutes with them and leave you with blue balls, so there is a maximum amount of stimulation to expect. The BGs in TJ are trying to fuck you, so if they think they have you hooked, they will do whatever they can to get you into an arriba (again, dick-sucking over boxer shorts). As a final note, know that you are safe in the SCs. No one is trying to harm you, coerce you into anything dangerous, or steal from you - they are, however, trying to take your money (nicely, and in a way that you will enjoy). Street Girls (SG): There are some Street Girls in the Alley who are more than willing to spend time with you. As far as I’ve read, they run $100 for 30 minutes, and spending time with these girls can feel very transactional. That being said, SGs seem to be a safe use of your time as far as I’ve read on TUSCL. I did not partake in any SG behavior, so if you’re looking for some insight on the subject here, you’ll have to look elsewhere. Hard Drugs: I would not recommend bringing hard drugs into or out of Mexico - you’re just asking for trouble. If you want something illicit, you can definitely find someone to help you. Is it safe? I have no idea. I don’t take any hard drugs, and I recommend you not try to acquire any unless your Spanish is excellent and you know what you’re doing. If you fit those boxes and know how to keep yourself safe, go for it. Here is the section about the four main clubs. I will put links to my more in-depth reviews of each club, but I will also include short descriptions here as well. I would recommend at least checking out Hong Kong, Chicago Club, and Adelitas Club, as there is no cover charge. If you want a peek at what the girls are like at each club, find that SC’s Instagram - they should give you some insight into what kind of girls to expect. Note that the SCs are split into two ownerships. What that means for you is that, if you want to arriba with a BG from Adelitas Bar or Chicago Club, you will have to pay for a room to use for 30 minutes. My understanding is that these rooms are $16, and the 30 minutes is a hard limit (people start banging on your door). If you arriba with a Hong Kong or Bar Tropical girl, you get to use your own room (free) and the 30 minutes is a soft limit. If you stay at the Chicago Club hotel, this would be flipped. (Technically you can bring a Chicago Club or Adelitas Bar girl to Hotel Cascadas, but there is a $300 fine iirc). Hong Kong (HK): The Holy Grail. The general consensus is that this is the place to be and everyone knows it. You’ll find most every body type here, and the girls easily average in the 8’s. I'm not sure what to call the most common body type, but "Eliza Ibarra" is a good start (Is this what people when when they say "spinner"? I have no idea...) Many girls have a few small tattoos. This place also has the highest number of girls, so you will likely be spoiled for choice. However, many of the girls do have at least some minor implants, and many of the girls have more than some. No matter what, you should stop by HK to see what all the hype is about. Just know that this place, while it is the best, is also the busiest. You may have difficulty finding space for yourself and a girl if you come late on a busy night. Chicago Club (CC): The general consensus on TUSCL, as far as I can tell, is that this is the second-best place to be in TJ. Here you will find what I would consider “normal” girls. Far fewer implants, and more natural bodies. That being said, the girls here are still beautiful and worth checking out - just expect “the girl next door” instead of “the porn star next door.” Also worth noting, there are a number of older women working here as well (as in 35+). If you’re into MILFs or natural-bodied girls, this is your place to be. Adelitas Club (AC): This is a club that specializes in “Plus-Size women.” Not fat, but painfully thiccc. The best description I can come up with is, “imagine a Latina / Dominican Juliette Michele (@BishojouMom on Twitter).” You can try their Instagram for some insight as well. All of the girls here have (what I hope to be) implants for the upper and lower bodies. If you take after Sir Mix-a-Lot and looking for some serious double bubble, this is your place to be. Bar Tropical (BT): Be not fooled - this is a dive bar, not an SC. I came late on Labor Day weekend, so I might not have the best perspective of the place. However, for the 45 minutes I was there, it was almost exclusively Mexican couples dancing in the center, with some groups of people chatting amongst themselves. I remember seeing one or 2 BGs hovering around the edges, and one BG with just a g-string going from table to table. Dudes would give $1s to let grab some ass and titty, and sometimes some twerking or grinding. Things might be different on a lazy day, but, in my experience, this is a bar, not a SC. Should be a nice place if you trying to chill with some friends, though. Now you’ve had your fun, but it is the next morning and you’ve got places to be. If you have the VIP card, your check-out time is 1 PM. I don't know if it changes without the VIP. That’s plenty of time to wash up, grab another meal at Azul Restaurant, grab some tacos from the corner stand, or get in one last arriba (If you want some context, I got two arribas Sunday night and one arriba Monday morning. HK is quiet in the morning, but there’s easily 30+ girls and no guys around, so you’ll be spoiled). Make your last goodbyes and check out by 1 PM (don’t want to pay for another night, do you?). When you check out, make sure you show them your VIP card again to make sure you got your discount. Double-check to make sure that you have your passport; you won’t get back into the US without it. If you’re walking from the border, find the Zona Norte shuttle (HK's free limo service) back to PedEAST and take it back to the border (for free!). If you're not sure where to go, just ask reception - they know. Where they drop you off, there will probably be a line of people already waiting to get back into the US. If you’re not sure, ask the driver where to go before he takes off. Get in line and get ready to wait somewhere between 20 minutes and 2 hours. Try to get to the line in the afternoon or late at night - that’s when it's not busy. There are some vendors by the line if you’re feeling peckish. I did not partake, and I wish I did - I still think about the smell of those churros. If you have SENTRI, you can skip about 60% of the line by going to the right side of it. People won’t like you skipping the line, so make sure you have your SENTRI card on hand to prove you belong there. Keep following the line until you make it to customs, show your passport, metal detector, yadda yadda, and you’re in the US again! Do whatever you need to return to your vehicle (you can enter either side that the trolley comes on if you’re taking it - they both go in the same direction), and you are on your merry way. I hope you enjoyed this guide and found it helpful. It is by no means complete, and I didn’t want it to be. There is some adventure that is left for you to figure out, and who would want it any other way? My final consensus of Tijuana after visiting a number of SCs in LA and Las Vegas is that I will not be visiting SoCal SCs anymore. In my opinion, you will do better not visiting SCs in SoCal and saving that time and money for Tijuana. If you have any further questions, feel free to shoot a message down below - I’m hoping that it will naturally turn into a sort of FAQ section filled with TJ-mongering experts and newbies alike. You can also send a DM through TUSCL to me or any other TJ expert - just tell us who you are and what you’re doing (i.e. I’m [insert name], a TJ first timer. What do you know about [insert question]) and we will reply to your message within the next 3-5 business days (maybe. I jest). Otherwise, keep your head on straight and enjoy yourself. Thank you for your time and attention.