Jealous Dancers?

Doug - I think it is normal for dancers not to get jealous of customers. At most, I think dancers may get mad at other dancers, for thing like stealing customers away, etc. But, as far as jealous in comparing looks, naw. Looks can be made up by mileage!!! LOL

Doug, I guess I don't find it rare because I was in the middle of a jealously triangle this past summer with my ATF and another dancer. I never intended to dump my ATF, but I started e-mailing another dancer - I thought just for fun. I guess she thought I was going to dump my current ATF for her - which I never planned to do, but she read the situation wrong. Long story short - my ATF found out about the e-mails and they had a confrontation and the other dancer sent me daily hate e-mails until I had to cancel that account. Everything is still fine with ATF but the other dancer still avoids me like the plague. When money is involved - there is sure to be jealousy. So be careful. I speak from experience, it's not pleasant to be in the middle!

I don't know if jealousy is the right word. It seems to me like simple competitive rivalry. Unless DougS is a particularly handsome fellow.

Oh my, yes! Doug is a "sharpie"! However, I have yet to meet the young man. LOL

I have to agree that alot of the "jealousies" that I have witnessed were just thinly disguised money competition. All part of the "game". Some very accomplished dancers can sure make it seem like they are really jealous, but more often than not, it's always gonna be about the benjies.

But, then again....if Doug is quite the handsome devil, my whole theory could go right out the window.....!

If you find yourself jealous of someone, figure out why and you're likely to realize that it's because they're very much like you. They have similar aspirations, or they have accomplished something quite specific that you want, or they have been born with skills and weaknesses that remind you of yourself. It hits too close to home.

Just like when you get insulted, you usually don't mind, if it's something absolutely off base and ridiculous. As an adult a while back, I had some of those townie always-ribbing-you annoying-like-yokels acquaintances who used to call me "Ronald" for Ronald McDonald -- never did figure out why, and I guess therefore it hardly bothered me, except just for the trying to figure it out. But I also had some school chums who called me weak and slow -- neither of which is true, but both of which I was insecure about being perceived as in sports. Guess which insults bothered me more?

Ronald? HUH? Thats dumb. LOL Unless you used to wear a clown outfit or something. Hey whatever floats your boat LOL

If a dancer steals another dancer's RIL, you get discord that looks like jealousy, but is not. It's just about money. Dancers have no emotional attachment to customers that would spark jealousy.

I think dancers ALL have emotional attachment to EVERYTHING in a weird bizarre desperate kind of way.

Yup, but primarily money.

Dancer "jealousy" does routinely happens but its 99% of the time no more significant than when for example the coffee shop woman/owner at the train station where you normally go, is now acting jealous when she sees you holding a cup of coffee in the train waiting room - which you've bought from the new yuppie coffee shop across the street.

Fear of replacement is the essence of jealousy, and that's not uncommon in small business transactions.

HarryDave: I'm just an average looking guy...

I believe I've only experienced this on three occasions;

1. While waiting for my THEN ATF (now known as prev-prev-ATF), I saw a new girl that I wanted to sample and while getting a dance with the new girl, prev-prev-ATF came out of the dressing room and saw us. She glared at me like I've never been glared at before, and stormed back into the dressing room. The new girl didn't know that I was waiting for someone else and she was in a tizzy and a bit pissed at ME because I didn't tell her?! Well, she went back to the dressing room and talked to prev-prev-ATF (who I'm told was crying), and "patched things up" for me. The new girl refused to spend time with me after that.

2. This one might've been just SS, but when Miss ATF and I first started spending time together, it was during a business trip of mine. We spent time ITC on Sun and Tues nights, then she asked if I could come in on Wed night. I'd already had plans to meet up with a fellow TUSCLer (Chitown), and told her that I'd be there that night. I told her that I didn't want to see her dancing for others, and she said she didn't want to see me getting dances from anyone else and decided that she'd rather not come in because of that. (yeah, after typing that, it DOES smack of some SS, or maybe SSS)

3. When the maybe future ATF and I were planning our first OTC hookup, she was still a bit apprehensive about it. In an attempt to show her that I could be trusted, I, being the honest guy that I am, told her that I was also seeing another girl from the same club OTC. When I began telling her about that "relationship", it made so much sense and I just knew it would set her mind at east. Maybe I'd had a bit too much to drink and my logic wasn't quite in tact - I don't know. What I DO know is the look on maybe future ATF was utter shock, mixed with a big dose of PISSED and maybe a little hurt. She was speechless. When she finally broke the silence, she said "you sent me a letter with all sorts of compliments and made me feel like I was special to you, and then you tell me that I'm like your SECOND choice?!!" It was damned near a deal breaker, and it took some quick talking and assurances from me to get things back on track, but that ugly moment eventually passed. The few times that Miss ATF has come up in conversation, it's not very well received. THAT was a SERIOUS dumbass attack, if ever there was one!

The BIG mistake you made Doug, and I think you found this out, was that you were too damned honest with the possible future ATF! Of course, as you know, I am aware of additional information concerning these circumstances

Honesty hurts sometimes and there are good times and places to be honest with people, but NOT NECESSARILY a strip club. The current ATF and possible future ATF may have found out about you seeing the both of them, maybe not.

Which ever one you want to hang with, you'd better make a choice soon, or you just may be out a couple of ATFs altogether. Good luck my friend! Uncle Bones

I'll say it again. There is no room in a strip club for jealousy. Between dancers. Between customers. Or between dancers and customers. Chill out. Grandpa shadowcat...

You know my opinion GET A HAREM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Envy, jealousy & competition are a fact-of-life in most stripclubs, sad to say. It's like being in high school....no,wait.....JUNIOR high school all over again, with the gossip, ru mors, the "she said, he said" bullshit. Many folks tend to regress socially & intellectually by just walking through the front door. It's just the nature of the beast.

I swear if you guys can get ove Lindsey Lohan (and my husband cant) LOL Watch Mean Girls its how some girls are.

The synopsis looks interesting. Great idea (for the high-school movie-viewing target demographic crowd) to bring a girl in "from the bush" to have to deal with high school social dynamics. The rest of it seems pretty straightforward -- could be dreadful, could be brilliant, depending on the actual effecting of it moment by moment and line by line. I agree, that the "social dynamics" evil-girl-clique stories about high school are probably the best movies to watch, in order to understand women.

Thing is, this indicates something rather disastrous to me:

human adult females emotionally stop ageing at about sixteen years old

Sure, men "mature slower," but at least we continue to mature AT ALL after high school.

we are all immature idiots hun.We can be petty and cruel and you guys can see a set of tits and lose all brain function. Welcome to the jungle.LOL

P.s blog blog blog Last time I swear

Naw, men are "driven" by certain biological needs. Women "choose" their inept, selfish behaviors ...

pfffft

maybe reproduction is a biological need same as self preservation.

Blog- Ahhh that one just sneaked by

We are ALL driven by GREED - either money,sex,toys,"love".....whatever. It's a want to have more of something. Or to have something that you don't already have. Pretty simple, really.

No, not simple at all.

Male: driven by requirement to behave as though multiple procreation partners are necessary. Honest about it.

Grows from a-sexual childhood to normal adulthood. Stays that way until he dies.

Female: drive by a variety of changing things which she can't name, and which bear no relation to reality. Dishonest about it in order to manipulate males in order to get them to give her things which, it turns out, she doesn't necessarily want any more, so that when she gets what she wants she's actually more disappointed than when she didn't have it and she has to start blaming someone other than herself so she doesn't feel like she's somehow all screwed up in the head and then she gets angry at whomever is closest to her so she lashes out at those whom she loves the most and ends up leaving a hole in her life and then decides she needs something else and the vicious cycle starts all over again.

Grows from a-sexual childhood to this weird semi-sexual totally social quasi-adulthood. Then later in life realizes she's wasted her best years, and as soon as she thinks she's not super-hot and able to manipulate men she starts to think she'd really better get herself a man because soon she won't be able to, so she decides (wow what a CONCEPT!) to try to be COOPERATIVE with her partner instead of MANIPULATIVE, but by the time she figures this obvious arrangement out, she's probably already not physically appealing enough to fulfill the male's biologically determined needs. Some few women figure this out earlier in life, and also realize that helping their males to have lives that males want on the basis of male priorities is, indeed, a form of cooperation. These developed humans constitute no more than 5% of the entire female population. Were women to mature emotionally before their bodies sagged to the point of disinterest to men, the world would be a happier place.

In other words -- I think we all know where the problem resides.

yikes bookguy!!!!!!

Wow. Pretty fucked up thinking. I think it's time to seriously consider the priesthood, or perhaps going gay.

Holy cow BG! I'm really shocked after reading your thread. Surprised, to say the least, in your thinking process. I would have expected a 'gay' gentleman (figure you aren't gay) to have given that type analogy on men and women.

Maybe I am not of the "norm" thinking when it comes to women. Reading my club reviews would make one think I "use" women for my own pathetical sexual needs of gratification. However, I respect all women unless they have given me a reason to 'disrespect' them, but I still have to respect women as well as men in general, based solely on the fact that they are human. I'm not trying to downplay the fact that I do use certain women 'dancers' for my needs, because I do. But, they're using me in the 'similar' aspect to make a living ($$$). 'Nuff' said.

Book Guy, have you noticed that sarcasm doesn't have a lot of fans here?

I've noticed it before, I'm never sure if it's strictly money-driven or to what extent something might be at play...I tend to be a "nice guy" who gets to know a certain girl somewhat, and be a repeat customer, but of course I know about the financial aspect.

I think someone else above alluded to something insightful--strippers (sorry, "dancers") tend to have a weird mixed-up sense of certain things like public/private boundaries--which is maybe why they become dancers in the first place. So, for them they can have a personal attachment to a "customer" even they might never consider meeting him OTC, and might still get really jealous if he "picks" another girl over them (even though that also is strictly an ITC "relationship").

Most dancers are extremely insecure as well IME, so practically anything can make them feel threatened.

"What I DO know is the look on maybe future ATF was utter shock, mixed with a big dose of PISSED and maybe a little hurt. She was speechless. When she finally broke the silence, she said "you sent me a letter with all sorts of compliments and made me feel like I was special to you, and then you tell me that I'm like your SECOND choice?!!" It was damned near a deal breaker"

Generally it works in an opposite way. Keep in mind that the constant and ongoing tinge of unfaithfulness is a key to kicking up the "chemistry" (to the degree any might exist) and that goes for real life (non-SC) relationships and for club world ATFs, either ITC or OTC, platonic or not. Its sounds counter-intuitive in the modern world, but such nonmonogamy was the key survival characteristic of the Alpha male seed spreader who dominated the earth for millions of years. A devoted and one woman faithful man (aka "nice guy") will on a subconscious basis bore most women precisely because he cannot offer the illusive and exciting promise of genetic immortality relative to seed spreader/bad boys.

Partly true, men in general tend to be a bit more honest about these issues, (for example)with men many openly admitting they wouldn't mind at all screwing 100's of women, whereas women (being a bit dishonest) would rarely admit they (e.g. subconsciously) are attracted to guys that "wouldn't mind at all screwing 100's of women" - even though THOSE type of guys are exactly what attracts them most.

In either case both genders are still (for the most part) following or still desiring to follow their basic biological desires carried forward from the 3 to 5 million yr development phase, for men seed spreading, and for women - mating with seed spreader to increase their (and their offsprings) genetic odds

I think it's true that both genders are going for it as often as possible in as reproductive-protectant a manner as possible, sure. That's got to be biological. But I also think that the hypocrisy of females, its extreme current levels (and relative to males' current lower levels of hypocrisy), is a cultural phenomenon. Not biological. And not necessary for either (a) females' wellbeing or (b) any human's happiness.