"Topless Secret"--any good?

Who needs a book???

Horny, there has been a lot of talk about this subject, but it's scattered here and there, there hasn't been a topic that focused on it. And if I may summarize, there are probably 3 main ways: (1) ovewhelm them with your good looks/wonderful personality (which leaves out most of us here), (2) give them lots of money, (3) get to know them and build trust. Several of us here including Shadowcat have found the third approach to be effective.

Some of the guys here who have met strippers OTC have a healthy emotional interest in the strippers, and want to know them as people. They become friends with the dancer, and a relationship outside the club follows naturally. That approach is highly commendable. It also has little our nothing to do with my interest in strippers, which involve only sex. I have found that the best approach for me is to be known as a regular at a club, to the point where accomodating members of management will, if properly approached and after a relationship has developed, point out out for you the girls who will do OTC. Proportionately, this has been the most rewarding approach for me. A distant second is waiting for the dancer to approach you, which has also worked. Fear of arrest and/or expulsion from the club has prohibited me from taking the "direct approach" on pay-for-play, but perhaps I am overly timid. I have no interest in getting to know strippers as serious, OTC friends, as I find that they tend to have almost frighteningly dramatic lives that I don't want to deal with. I don't cultivate such people as friends when they don't disrobe for me, and I don't see any reason to react differently in the case of people with soap opera lives who I also happen to have seen naked.

Chitown, just a point of clarification - if you're referring to me as one of those people who look to strippers for friendship, you're incorrect. I sometimes have tried to become club buddies and if I could extend that to include some OTC, that was fine. But I've never gone to a club looking for real friendship, that just sorta happened and it only ever happened once. And we were both very surprised by it. Now we just take it for granted.

I agree with you that most strippers aren't what I look for in friends, but having said that I do enjoy variety. I don't want a bunch of friends who are all just like me. You can't learn anything from people like that.

FONDL, I didn't have you or anyone else in particular in mind regarding my description of the archetypal "anti-Chitown".

I've not read any of the "How To"s out there. I HAVE been pretty lucky, during the last decade, but I don't know what to attribute it to. I guess, as most have pointed out above, the best advice is to treat them well, gain their trust, become friends and then let things run their course.

Once at the threshhold, having talked a dancer into OTCing, I remain trustworthy. For instance, if I've shown her that I can be trusted and proved that I won't take advantage of her, once the time comes and we are along OTC, I will not force the issue. If she just wants to go out to eat, or watch TV, or play cards, I am fine with that... no pressure. I guess another key point is to be upfront with what your expectations are, and also get an idea of what HER expectations are.

Trust is key. For a girl to meet a "strange guy" OTC, she HAS to feel comfortable and be relatively certain that she will be safe with him. I've told this story before, but I think it deserves repeating. Even after spending quite some time together ITC, and talking on the phone with each other, she still didn't trust me 100%. The first time that my ATF met me OTC, she later told me that she left a letter on her car seat, along with my business card. In the letter, she said that she was with [my name], who is from [my city]. She listed my kids names, a description of me, what kind of vehicle I drove, etc. All of which, would have been plenty to nail my ass, should something have happened to her.

Trust must travel in the opposite direction, too. I always worry that an OTC friend could turn on me and accuse me of kidnapping, rape, etc. She could also be setting me up so that she (and a boyfriend/husband) could ambush me and take my money, car, etc. There's also the possibility that I could be in line for blackmail, too.

It is a slippery ground to go over because if you initiate the request, you can come off looking like you think the girl is a whore/hooker and all you want her for is sex (which, I guess, is true).

If you build a little working friendship/relationship with the dancer, eventually she'll bring it up or hint at it if it OTC is something that she does. I've had dancers ask me for my number (one on a first encounter) and I usually joke that they won't call me (it usually ends up being about 50-50 whether they will call or not).

I currently have the numbers of about six dancers who have called me and I probably exchange text messages at least once a week with most of them. I have seen two OTC and had offers from a couple more. The one that I text the most is the dancer I would most like to see OTC but she hasn't brought it up to me and I don't see her at work much (schedules don't match).

I've never read any of those books, but from everything I've heard, they're a scam designed to take $47 (it's always $47 for some reason) from people for basically worthless pointers. There used to be a guy who spammed ASSC to promote his book. Everybody made fun of him, although his postings were pretty funny for the way they blatantly preyed on the gullible.

By the way, this type of book is supposed to tell how you can pick up strppers for dates, etc, not for the type of paid sessions that most of the replies are dealing with. I doubt if there are enough suckers willing to give up $47 for that.

The only person benefitting from any of those types of books is the author.

Lopaw, you're wrong - the publisher benefits too (LOL). I think they're sold to the same guys who buy all the penis enlargers and other junk that I see advertised in the back of my "Men's Fitness" magazines. Hard to believe that anyone actually buys that kind of stuff but I guess there are some really sick guys out there.

I hate to say this but someone got taken.