So there seems to be a general concensus that up front negotiation about the rules and what's on the menu is frequently the best approach to negotiating an upstairs experience but I wonder--what do people actually say? Is it brutally blunt as in "What will it cost me to get a blow job from you?" Is it more coy and indirect? Is it talking a bit and getting some comfort and then "so, sweetie, what's on the menu when I take you upstairs?" What do you say? What's worked, what hasn't?
Unfortunately it depends on the girl. Some girls, even if they would fuck you if you played it right, will not if you just come out and say "Man, I would love to fuck you. What are you doing after work?" Others love it when you are this blunt. Others don't care: they just want money, and your approach does not matter.
You will have to get a sense of how discriminate she is, and how important controlling the situation is to her, or whether she just fucks anyone irregardless, and play it from there.
Good luck. No "one-size fits all" rules. But that is part of the fun!
Depends on the girl and the club. If I'm in a place where low-contact is the norm and a girl is willing to make more money by sneakily offering high-contact, she's more likely to have to initiate the conversation about levels of contact, since she's standing outside the general context. I'm often very disappointed by the converse: a generally high-contact club, where I plan to get a dance with a girl, and during the initial parts of the dance it just "happens to turn out" that she is a low-contact girl, and it just "happened to turn out" that she didn't bother to tell me. That's misleading of her; not appropriate.
Why is it misleading? Just because your perception of a CLUB is high contact and you picked a girl that is "low contact"? How did she mislead you?
Perhaps, I misunderstood your post but you did NOT say she offered you the moon and the stars and then did not deliver. Only that it just "happened to turn out" that she was low contact and didn't tell you. I don't think if you ask a dancer for a dance she is obligated to inform you she only delivers what the law allows--lol.
You're right, Tessie and driver but perhaps on the other hand what the other girls tend to do in a given club can contribute to a sense of expectations on the part of the customer. The customer does not thereby earn some kind of "right" to extras or a prior warning that they won't be delivered but it does set up a problem for the dancer who does not want to play that way. Knowing this false expectation might exist in a given club it is probably worthwhile to develop a strategy to address it in a way that defuses the expectation while still preserving business as it were. Unfair though it may be, just staying silent may have the unintended and undesired result of creating unsatisfied customers. I'm not at all defending the situation, only describing it.
Book Guy wasn't in my opinion "misled" at all, but if a dancer is tagged with that rep--fairly or otherwise--it's obviously not helpful to her.
If a low mileage dancer can make bank at a "high mileage" club, then why should she be relegated to the back of the bus. In one of the clubs I frequent the best looking, hottest dancer in the place is a strictly by the book kind of girl. While the perception of this club is thought to be "high mileage" this particular dancer makes a small fortune because she is good a what she does. She is personable, engaging and has a following so to speak. And guys spend a small fortune to spend time with her in the club.
As long as the dancer provides the service she is hired to perform, I say more power to her. And if the patron wants more than she is willing to give that's one of the reasons clubs have more than one dancer working at a time-- variety is the spice of life...just one man's opinion.
I think the determining factor on how I approach a dancer is how I want her to feel about me.
If I feel a chemistry at the onset, I will approach her more cautiously, and take it slow. I will not ask upfront what is allowed. When it comes to the dance, I will pretty much sit on my hands, and not take any liberties or make any attempts to get "grabby" with her. Usually, the dancer, when she is comfortable with me, or frustrated with my lack of aggression, will take my hands and lead them where she wants them. I've had GREAT success with that method, and it has led to several "relationships". This is my USUAL approach.
If I see the dancer as someone I don't see a future in, or perhaps and dancer at a club that I don't expect to return to anytime soon, I will asking her what she will allow, and if she doesn't explicitly mention something of interest to me, I will bluntly ask her if I can do [such and such].
Sometimes I go with, "A guy I work with was down here, at least I think it was here, a few weeks ago and he said that he and a dancer blah blah blah. Does that sound true or was he just feeding me some BS?"
This puts the information second hand and leaves the door open that it was a different club. It gives a lot of wiggly room.
I try and stay away from negotiations myself. When I go to a club, I go in with the wish of getting played with (even if it's only hands). A lot of times, that is sufficient for a quickie club experience. However, when things get 'heated' up on both sides, negotiations are usually out the window because the dancer and I are too wrapped up with each other, and we end up doing what "we" want to do. Most of the times a 'tip' isn't asked for at the end, but sometimes given by me for a fantastic time.
I remember one instance at the Platinum Plus in Memphis one afternoon when my son and I was celebrating his 22nd birthday. I took this HOT dancer to their VIP and was provided a price menu, broken down by HJ, BJ, FS. I opted for the FS and for my son's birthday gift, I paid for his FS. What a country!!!
I remember in one quiet club I hadn't been to in ages, I bought a dancer a drink, got a couple of lap dances, nothing unusual. Then she found me later, club was pretty empty, I agreed to get a couple more lap dances. I thought she was just getting a little bit frisky until I suddenly realized she was doing a lot more than I expected. She didn't even tell me she was going to do that. Felt good though. Maybe we both were slightly intoxicated. A script? She never even gave me a clue what she had planned. Maybe she didn't plan it. I got nervous and left though after she suddenly stopped and a bouncer appeared to be watching.
Some dancers seem to be like that, get alone with them and there's no telling what they might do with certain guys. Other dancers, they would complain if you even accidently touch them slightly above their waist. They are all different and apparently have a lot of different backgrounds.
You can get clues from what a dancer will allow by just getting a regular lap dance from her. Extremely fussy no touch dancers you can forget about anything they tell you they'll do in private in my opinion. However the only private sessions I've had with dancers has either been in the regular dance room (rarely private) or at their house. Several dancers are good at BS in my opinion. If a dancer is married or has a significant other she doesn't want to upset, I believe your chances would be slim to zero as well of getting more than talk and a dance. Now if they tell you this information is another story.
My two cents. If I get a lap dance, and the dancer pushes for the VIP and I put out for the VIP, I pretty much expect the same from her. Maybe not FS, but at least make me happy! If the lap dance is good and she doesn't push the VIP, I might mention if we should "continue" in the VIP. If I get a yes, then I will ask how we will continue. I let her tell me the specifics. I don't ask. I sometimes use the casual DougS approach, and let her lead.
Only once have I had a dancer come up to me at the bar (my normal spot), say hello, and start to molest me and whisper in my ear, "I want to suck your cock!" You know what, she did, a number of times!
BTW, I use the DougS method at a club new to me. I find it works best. My other "scripts", at a club I frequent enough to have a good idea what goes on in the club.
Driver01: just saw your response to my post about a girl "misleading." You're right, if she didn't actually say she'd do X and then not do X, she wasn't technically misleading. I'd rephrase my complaints, to say that her failing to fulfill a promise is, itself, a misleading act. In addition, there are "tacit promises" that a customer really ought not assume. It's silly to go into a high contact club, find a girl, expect her to be a high contact girl, and then complain when she turns out to be a low contact girl. I guess it never occurred to me that a customer would put himself up for such a bait and switch. I personally would always "test the waters" at least enough that I knew she had sufficiently hinted, as to being a high contact girl, to the point that if she turned out NOT to be, I would at least know that I had been mislead rather than merely made assumptions.
There are types of clubs out there, where a gal plays entirely off of a guy's gullibility. "I'll make it a wonderful experience" she says, licking her lips and making a pointed stare at his belt buckle. Then she sticks her index finger in her mouth, sucks on it like a lollipop, does the cheek-popping noise, and says, "You'll pop your cork, I'm sure." Turns out she's a zero-contact dancer? He's expected to pay $200 up front for 15 minutes with her, and all she does is air-dance. And yet the club is known to be a brothel? That would be deliberately misleading the customer, even though no overt statement was made which could be pinned on her as actually misleading.
It's all about context. Mostly I personally don't get into these scrapes, though I can see how a less expert club goer could. Most of the self protection is about not going to those sorts of clubs in the first place. When I go to a brothel, yer dang tootin' it's a full-service RELIABLE brothel!
OK OK I wrote that poorly. Second sentence should state:
"You're right, if she didn't actually say she'd do X, and then she went to the back room and did NOT do X, she wasn't technically misleading." Etc. I'm sure most of you got the gist. I'm just being redundant now. Best wishes. :)
Sometimes I like "script" from a dancer. Other times, I would rather do without it. It ruins the "challange" or "mystique" of what is about to happen in a VIP.
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You will have to get a sense of how discriminate she is, and how important controlling the situation is to her, or whether she just fucks anyone irregardless, and play it from there.
Good luck. No "one-size fits all" rules. But that is part of the fun!
Perhaps, I misunderstood your post but you did NOT say she offered you the moon and the stars and then did not deliver. Only that it just "happened to turn out" that she was low contact and didn't tell you. I don't think if you ask a dancer for a dance she is obligated to inform you she only delivers what the law allows--lol.
The other girls in a club do not determine what I will or will not do.
Book Guy wasn't in my opinion "misled" at all, but if a dancer is tagged with that rep--fairly or otherwise--it's obviously not helpful to her.
As long as the dancer provides the service she is hired to perform, I say more power to her. And if the patron wants more than she is willing to give that's one of the reasons clubs have more than one dancer working at a time-- variety is the spice of life...just one man's opinion.
If I feel a chemistry at the onset, I will approach her more cautiously, and take it slow. I will not ask upfront what is allowed. When it comes to the dance, I will pretty much sit on my hands, and not take any liberties or make any attempts to get "grabby" with her. Usually, the dancer, when she is comfortable with me, or frustrated with my lack of aggression, will take my hands and lead them where she wants them. I've had GREAT success with that method, and it has led to several "relationships". This is my USUAL approach.
If I see the dancer as someone I don't see a future in, or perhaps and dancer at a club that I don't expect to return to anytime soon, I will asking her what she will allow, and if she doesn't explicitly mention something of interest to me, I will bluntly ask her if I can do [such and such].
This puts the information second hand and leaves the door open that it was a different club. It gives a lot of wiggly room.
I remember one instance at the Platinum Plus in Memphis one afternoon when my son and I was celebrating his 22nd birthday. I took this HOT dancer to their VIP and was provided a price menu, broken down by HJ, BJ, FS. I opted for the FS and for my son's birthday gift, I paid for his FS. What a country!!!
Some dancers seem to be like that, get alone with them and there's no telling what they might do with certain guys. Other dancers, they would complain if you even accidently touch them slightly above their waist. They are all different and apparently have a lot of different backgrounds.
Only once have I had a dancer come up to me at the bar (my normal spot), say hello, and start to molest me and whisper in my ear, "I want to suck your cock!" You know what, she did, a number of times!
There are types of clubs out there, where a gal plays entirely off of a guy's gullibility. "I'll make it a wonderful experience" she says, licking her lips and making a pointed stare at his belt buckle. Then she sticks her index finger in her mouth, sucks on it like a lollipop, does the cheek-popping noise, and says, "You'll pop your cork, I'm sure." Turns out she's a zero-contact dancer? He's expected to pay $200 up front for 15 minutes with her, and all she does is air-dance. And yet the club is known to be a brothel? That would be deliberately misleading the customer, even though no overt statement was made which could be pinned on her as actually misleading.
It's all about context. Mostly I personally don't get into these scrapes, though I can see how a less expert club goer could. Most of the self protection is about not going to those sorts of clubs in the first place. When I go to a brothel, yer dang tootin' it's a full-service RELIABLE brothel!
"You're right, if she didn't actually say she'd do X, and then she went to the back room and did NOT do X, she wasn't technically misleading." Etc. I'm sure most of you got the gist. I'm just being redundant now. Best wishes. :)
Do you really enjoy the "challange" or "mystique" of what is about to happen in a VIP, what is about to go down in a VIP?